Post: #26

(11-30-2014 01:46 PM)jariel Wrote:  Real players don't take chicks they don't care about on trips and then act surprised when they get "hella clingy" because real players see that shit before it comes which is why they don't do cupcacking, boyfriend-esque shit like going on trips together in the first place.

I once took a girl I had just met in Merida, Mexico to Tulum for a weekend trip. It wasn't serious and I even pointed out other girls that I founded attractive and wanted her to introduce me to. We fucked all weekend and then I left shortly after getting back to Merida.

Really don't see the big deal here. Going on a trip doesn't have to be some honeymoon or some shit.

Post: #27

(11-30-2014 02:43 PM)Americas Wrote:  I once took a girl I had just met in Merida, Mexico to Tulum for a weekend trip. It wasn't serious and I even pointed out other girls that I founded attractive and wanted her to introduce me to. We fucked all weekend and then I left shortly after getting back to Merida.

Really don't see the big deal here. Going on a trip doesn't have to be some honeymoon or some shit.

I've been to Mérida, I wouldn't say going to Tulum for the weekend would be the same type of situation as what he is talking about.

You're comparing a situation in which you had just met a chick, I'm assuming a local or a girl who was also already on vacation, while his situation is one with a girl who he has an established relationship with.

My responses to the OP were geared towards his situation, and some of you guys are taking your terms and your situations and bringing it into this when they're not even applicable.

I still stand by all of my previous statements, we can agree to disagree, there's nothing wrong with that.

I personally, would not pay for a chick who I claim to not care for, to come on a trip with me.

To say that such behavior is normal or not a big deal is ludicrous, like girls just regularly go on trips out of the country with guys they chilled with a couple of times and those guys paid for said girls.

Post: #28

(She wasn't already on vacation, she lived in Merida and wanted to spend the weekend with me, but it doesn't really matter)

Yeah but your statements have been absolutist. If you had used different language/explained yourself better, I don't think anyone would be arguing as much.

I don't really give a fuck what "real players" do or not but taking a girl on a little trip doesn't necessarily mean anything. It really depends on the circumstances. Furthermore, a girl that someone has been banging once a week for a couple months really isn't even an established relationship. Although I do find it weird to have a thing for that long and not have some type of "talk."

I mean, if I was the OP and wanted to take this chick on my little trip I would just ask her to do so. But I would also have a discussion about what the expectations are as well so there isn't any confusion. At this point we don't even know what the hell this guy even wants.

Post: #29

(11-30-2014 03:11 PM)Americas Wrote:  (She wasn't already on vacation, she lived in Merida and wanted to spend the weekend with me, but it doesn't really matter)

Yeah but your statements have been absolutist. If you had used different language/explained yourself better, I don't think anyone would be arguing as much.

I don't really give a fuck what "real players" do or not but taking a girl on a little trip doesn't necessarily mean anything. It really depends on the circumstances. Furthermore, a girl that someone has been banging once a week for a couple months really isn't even an established relationship. Although I do find it weird to have a thing for that long and not have some type of "talk."

The fact that she lived there and you were already on vacation renders everything else you have to say about that situation as meaningless as it relates to the OP's situation, all of the terms were entirely different.

Ultimately, there's not really an argument here, the OP wanted some advice and he liked both of my responses that were geared towards his situation, the only people who are arguing are the poster who claims it's normal to go on trips with jump-offs, which the OP's girl is not, and you, who had an entirely unrelated situation to share as a faux rebuttal to my on-point responses.

Reading is supposed to be fundamental, but sometimes it just isn't, if you go back and read the OP's posts, he established this isn't some chick he was just "banging once a week for a couple of months", so if we're going to debate this, at least have a perspective based on factual information.

Post: #30

I am so confused...you keep stating this:

(11-30-2014 02:55 PM)jariel Wrote:  My responses to the OP were geared towards his situation, and some of you guys are taking your terms and your situations and bringing it into this when they're not even applicable.

(11-30-2014 03:20 PM)jariel Wrote:  Ultimately, there's not really an argument here, the OP wanted some advice and he liked both of my responses that were geared towards his situation

But then you make statements like the below:

(11-28-2014 02:56 PM)jariel Wrote:  I also stand by the reality that it is not normal for a man to take a woman on a trip that he doesn't really want a relationship like that with.

(11-30-2014 01:46 PM)jariel Wrote:  Real players don't take chicks they don't care about on trips and then act surprised when they get "hella clingy" because real players see that shit before it comes which is why they don't do cupcacking, boyfriend-esque shit like going on trips together in the first place.

So which one is it? Are you talking about the OP's situation or are you trying to make some sort of treatise on taking girls on vacation?

And this is exactly why I brought up my situation. You are disconnecting the two things here.

There is a difference between responding to the OPs posts and making absolutist statements that frankly don't really have any basis in reality.

Post: #31

My initial responses were to the OP, then the other guy wanted to debate those responses, and he and I had a discussion based off what he was talking about which was something entirely different, as is the situation you just presented.

This isn't confusing information, the thread is titled how to travel with a girl, but the OP did not present it as a general situation that requires general rules and guidelines.

He actually has something with someone who he admits feels like a LTR, so when other posters start bringing in ideas like traveling with jump-offs is normal and being a tourist on vacation and inviting a local to take a bus ride to go to another spot a few hours away, those are situations that are completely different than what the initial discussion was about, so that's where it gets confusing, other guys talking about off-topic shit.

Post: #32

(11-30-2014 03:38 PM)Americas Wrote:  Yeah but your statements have been absolutist. If you had used different language/explained yourself better, I don't think anyone would be arguing as much.

So which one is it? Are you talking about the OP's situation or are you trying to make some sort of treatise on taking girls on vacation?

This

You were forcing feelings on OP where he might not necessarily have any, which is slightly insulting, and here we are showing you that that's possible for some guys to not have feelings. When did it become wrong for a player to want to fuck a sweet girl at a resort for 3 days straight in between cocktails, i must have missed a public service announcement
.

Post: #33

(12-01-2014 01:24 PM)Cyclone Wrote:  This

You were forcing feelings on OP where he might not necessarily have any, which is slightly insulting, and here we are showing you that that's possible for some guys to not have feelings. When did it become wrong for a player to want to fuck a sweet girl at a resort for 3 days straight in between cocktails, i must have missed a public service announcement

I didn't force anything, I just went by what he told us. He not only qualified her from the beginning, but even when challenged, he also made sure to defend her so we knew this was not some jump-off he was going to do something of this magnitude with.

It's kind of hard for a guy to argue he has no feelings for a girl whatsoever yet he's offering to pay for her to go on vacation out of the country with him. In fact, that to me is the definition of simp shit, telling your friends, your boys, that a girl doesn't mean anything to you, but in private handing her a plane ticket to travel the world with you.

Since when did it become wrong to have feelings for a girl any way?

That doesn't have to mean A, B, or C, but he seems to at least care for the girl, even if he's fucking other girls, she's still the one he's inviting on the trip, so it is clear to me that on some level he has feelings for her, you're the one translating having feelings to something that makes you feel uncomfortable, I'm just looking at it from a grown person's standpoint.

Would you say a girl who's buying you shit, fucking you and only you regularly, and treating you well is someone who doesn't have feelings for you?

So if he's doing the same or akin to it for her, why would you believe he doesn't have feelings for her?

A lot of you dudes need to grow up as it pertains to this game shit, being selfish and only thinking about one side of the equation is feminine shit. It's in your best interest as a man to not only understand your side of the coin, but her's as well because it will help you navigate the waters, in the end, you'll not only get what you want, but you'll do a much better job of avoiding the types of conflicts with females that you don't really want to deal with.

Ultimately, you've made your point, I've made several, we don't have to agree on this particular issue, and that's fine, respect to both of you and Americas regardless.

Post: #34

I'm in Jariel's camp and don't understand why he's getting sh*t from less senior members for just giving some (good) advice.

Obviously OP has some interest in this woman and just needs to ask her to go on this trip with him and see what happens. Sure it's only a 3 day trip but he's been seeing her 2x per week + weekends + getting to know her friends so that seems more than a FWB type thing to me (even if only after 3 months of "dating"). If that ain't somewhere in the beginning stages "girlfriend" ball park I don't know what the hell is. At least from almost any woman's perspective, which I think is good to keep in mind with longer-term or "harem" girls.

Anyway, I think in this case for a nice chill 3-day weekend taking her is fine, but the OP should be well prepared to deal with a girl who thinks he's effectively "upping the ante" here and might be wanting a relationship and all the repercussions from that. And to do some self-analysis re what his move is if she wants to "get serious" but he doesn't, and/or if he is forced to drop her. I've heard lots of American women say things like "I expect a man to know whether or not he's ready to marry me after 9 months to a year" (!!) and it's even sooner in places outside the Anglosphere in my experience (e.g. Russia - try 3 months!!) so better to be prepared (even if it's set up as a "chill just hanging out" sorta weekend).

Post: #35

Appretiate all your responses, I did not think that this thread was going to become a debate if players take their flings on a travel or not.

I did not feel that jariel was "putting words in my mouth", doing some quick self realisation: I care for this girl and she cares for me: this monday I caught a bug and she quickly went to my place to take care of me.
I do no want to have a commitment or feel engaged and I have told her that I am not "marriage material", stuff like that and we still hang out/bang 2x-3x a week.

This situation and her company have made me do what I want: Focus on business, work out, read and bang a cool girl that I enjoy her company from time to time; I enjoy more my time now than 9 months ago that I was partying 3x-4x a week and getting new girls that I did not value and were just a cum deposit. I do not know what I am going to feel the next month but I am not offering a commitment in the long term, right now my actions are what they are and I hope that I am communicating her what is my side. The least thing that I want to do is trick her or worse, hurt her; she is a great girl and I know that the guy that ends up at her side in the end is going to be a fortunate guy. Am I beta?

Regarding this thread, I bought the tickets and told her, she's eager to go and saying that she needs to watch her diet in the following days because she does not have beach body (she has) and wanted to pay me something but I am letting her pay expenses over there. So I am in my way to a nice getaway weekend.

Post: #36

(12-04-2014 06:48 PM)Gunner Wrote:  Regarding this thread, I bought the tickets and told her, she's eager to go and saying that she needs to watch her diet in the following days because she does not have beach body (she has) and wanted to pay me something but I am letting her pay expenses over there. So I am in my way to a nice getaway weekend.

I completely agree with this. Having a cool and relaxed girl with you on trips makes them actually more memorable. Especially if the place I'm going to has lower quality then what I have back home, which sometimes makes me return quicker, lol

Post: #37

(12-04-2014 06:48 PM)Gunner Wrote:  Appretiate all your responses, I did not think that this thread was going to become a debate if players take their flings on a travel or not.

I did not feel that jariel was "putting words in my mouth", doing some quick self realisation: I care for this girl and she cares for me: this monday I caught a bug and she quickly went to my place to take care of me.
I do no want to have a commitment or feel engaged and I have told her that I am not "marriage material", stuff like that and we still hang out/bang 2x-3x a week.

This situation and her company have made me do what I want: Focus on business, work out, read and bang a cool girl that I enjoy her company from time to time; I enjoy more my time now than 9 months ago that I was partying 3x-4x a week and getting new girls that I did not value and were just a cum deposit. I do not know what I am going to feel the next month but I am not offering a commitment in the long term, right now my actions are what they are and I hope that I am communicating her what is my side. The least thing that I want to do is trick her or worse, hurt her; she is a great girl and I know that the guy that ends up at her side in the end is going to be a fortunate guy. Am I beta?

Regarding this thread, I bought the tickets and told her, she's eager to go and saying that she needs to watch her diet in the following days because she does not have beach body (she has) and wanted to pay me something but I am letting her pay expenses over there. So I am in my way to a nice getaway weekend.

You're closer to being a player than a beta. Players have girls who want to be with them, but they accept what they can get because they like them that much -- your chick is down, you've let her know the game, she understands the terms, and she's still down. Don't get too caught up with the alpha-beta dichotomy, it jumped the shark a long time ago, just worry about doing what makes you happy because at the end of the day, it's your life, and no one has any control or say over your journey but you.

Thanks for providing a great thread for discussion and debate.

Post: #38

I owe you guys an update:

Two weekends ago I was in the Caribbean with this girl, it was an amazing experience. We had great sex, enjoyed food, wine, visited some amazing places and it was really pleasant. I can not point a single time that we did not behave as a couple where I have the control and she pleases me, no conflict whatsoever.

At first, I thought that spending 72 hours with her non-stop would make me sick, I am usually like that. But it did not happen, in fact I was not tired of her by the end of the trip. I think that something changed because since the trip she is more affective.
We are still in the same terms as before, no questions of what we are or where are we going.

I'm taking a big holiday for Christmas so this two weeks without seeing her are going to be interesting.

Appretiate every contribution on this thread.