Post: #1

So last week I went on a date with a girl I met on a dating site called Badoo.
The date was "OK" at best. We went to a coffee place, and then went for a quick walk outside. I could see she was into me at first, however there was very little chemistry between us, and the conversation was rather lame.
Nevertheless, we hugged good bye, and I also did not kiss her because I did not see an opportunity.

I texted her a full 24 hours after the date... No response.
Texted her the day after again... She responded, but when I asked her out again, she told me she couldn't come because she was busy.
Texted her again 1 week later after no contact (yesterday) and invited her to a bar downtown. She responded to my text, and agreed to come this time.

Here's the thing. I feel like this chick is giving me a second chance, since I failed to escalate things physically last time.

So, the date is tomorrow, and I want to make sure everything goes perfectly. How do I not fuck up this time? How do I build chemistry with this girl when we have little in common? Any other tips you guys can give me?

Post: #2

Just because you didn't have chemistry on the first date or felt you had nothing in common doesn't mean you won't on the second date.

The fact you're both going out with each other again suggests there is something there.

Post: #3

There is no right time just do it.

Post: #4

... Just do it!

That really IS a second chance. The fact that she claims to be "busy" and not proposing an alternative date means she just doesn't want to. However she seems to think, "yeah let's try again". This is your last chance IMO, so just do what you have to do.

Post: #5

(11-13-2014 03:23 PM)alex3948 Wrote:  ... Just do it!

That really IS a second chance. The fact that she claims to be "busy" and not proposing an alternative date means she just doesn't want to. However she seems to think, "yeah let's try again". This is your last chance IMO, so just do what you have to do.

Can you emphasize? If you were in my situation what would you do? So, you meet up with the girl at the subway, what do you say? Give a hug right away I suppose? What should the conversation be about as we're walking to the bar? Do I hold her hand right away, or put my hand around her waist as we're walking?

Post: #6

^^ don't "change it up" all obviously though...

Imagine you killed it on the first date, but logistics ended it early. You're seeing her again, you're assuming the sale (that's why she showed up), but you don't have any "expectations" or "rush". Take it easy, just build back up again at your usual pace.

Just start how you usually do, get the vibe right, get the touch right, take your time to get the date to where you normally would. It's been said elsewhere: a second date needn't "start where the first left off" even after successful first dates.

Just escalate and get in the zone. Maybe your challenge on the first date was to "make a moment" instead of "waiting for the moment" of opportunity. Find an excuse to pause during a walk, to study something with her... stand in back of her and touch her hips with one hand, chin with other... yadda yadda... that's what you're getting a second chance to do.

Enjoy it.

Post: #7

(11-13-2014 06:12 PM)456 Wrote:  ^^ don't "change it up" all obviously though...

Imagine you killed it on the first date, but logistics ended it early. You're seeing her again, you're assuming the sale (that's why she showed up), but you don't have any "expectations" or "rush". Take it easy, just build back up again at your usual pace.

Just start how you usually do, get the vibe right, get the touch right, take your time to get the date to where you normally would. It's been said elsewhere: a second date needn't "start where the first left off" even after successful first dates.

Just escalate and get in the zone. Maybe your challenge on the first date was to "make a moment" instead of "waiting for the moment" of opportunity. Find an excuse to pause during a walk, to study something with her... stand in back of her and touch her hips with one hand, chin with other... yadda yadda... that's what you're getting a second chance to do.

Enjoy it.

are you suggesting unless you make out on the first date or atleast go for a kiss or something, the date will be termed as unsuccessful...I get that no text/zero vibe kind of thing all the time ( after the first date).. and I can never figure out what really went wrong...even if I felt things did go to plan with that particular girl on that day. can anyone give me suggestions in how to change this aspect and actually read people a lot better..It will definitely save me a lot of money

Post: #8

(11-14-2014 10:34 AM)iceman111011 Wrote:  are you suggesting unless you make out on the first date or atleast go for a kiss or something, the date will be termed as unsuccessful...I get that no text/zero vibe kind of thing all the time ( after the first date).. and I can never figure out what really went wrong...even if I felt things did go to plan with that particular girl on that day. can anyone give me suggestions in how to change this aspect and actually read people a lot better..It will definitely save me a lot of money

I wasn't suggesting that no makeout/kiss-attempt renders a date unsuccessful (though it may!).

My point was that regardless of the "success" of the first date, you still want to take the second date as it is, and build slowly.

Even after a first-date-bang, one can't rush into date two with a "hey great to see you again! lift that skirt up!"... you still have to re-build some comfort and vibe.

Specific advice on first dates: really focus on finding passionate topics, even if they are silly. Letting her talk passionately, and you talk passionately. Sit next to her, get close, knees touching, etc. Tuth's first date bang recipe and many other threads on the site have advice for first dates. Don't even worry about the bang if you're having trouble getting any vibe at all. A big epiphany for me was realizing that "she is expecting me to make a move, and she won't help me figure out when/how." It's all on me essentially, except for the rare cases. Bangs aside, a kiss attempt, even failed, is not embarrassing (even when it is!) because she expects it. It's a way of confirming "yes, I am interested and I am a man"... she'll have more respect for your trying than not trying, even if she rejects. If you're going on a lot of "one time only" dates, why not experiment?

Post: #9

What's your game plan for date 2?

How will it differ from date 1?

Why do you guys skimp on important details?

WIA