Post: #1

Can we please discuss how to differentiate the two.

For example

"who wears nose rings anymore" with a smirk

and

"how cuute your shoes match your hat" while laughing or having a smile

Should I treat both like shit tests?

Can you give some examples that happened to you regarding a flirtatious comment and a shit test?

I know there are a lot of shit test threads and after reading through some of them I don't think they address this issue

Post: #2

I think they are the same. In sales every objection is a buy sign, it just depends on how you view it.
She wants you to overcome it.

Post: #3

(10-27-2014 09:29 PM)Bobbagwell Wrote:  I think they are the same. In sales every objection is a buy sign, it just depends on how you view it.
She wants you to overcome it.

Absolutely.

Flirting is constant shit tests from both sides.

Post: #4

Flirting doesn't necessarily have to be a shit test, and shit tests can occur on their own without being flirtatious.

Here are things a woman could say that could be considered shit tests only:

"Hold my drink while I go to the bathroom."
"Why are you talking to me?"
"Does my ass look fat in these jeans?"

Shit tests are about determining status. She doesn't know if you're attractive yet because she doesn't know whether you're higher or lower status than her. So she throws out a test to see how you react, and based on your reaction her hindbrain either creates attraction or repulsion.

You pass shit tests by showing, though your responses and behaviors, that you consider her beneath you. This is where concepts like cocky/funny and amused mastery come from. She's the bratty little sister and you're the cool older brother teasing her relentlessly.

Instead of giving in to her frame and allowing her to control the situation:

-Holding her drink
-Apologizing for talking to her
-Telling her that her ass looks great

You reframe and position yourself as higher status, preferably in a humorous/joking sort of way:

Start to gulp her drink as soon as she hands it to you
"I didn't realize this was a "no-talking" bar. Shall we use sign language?"
"Yes, you should take the jeans off immediately, panties too."

Here are things a woman could say that could be considered flirting AND shit testing:

"Hey there handsome. Buy me a drink?"
"You're cute, but I only date athletes."
"We're definitely not having sex tonight."

In these examples, she's showing interest while also attempting to control the frame/position herself as higher status than you. These occur once you've piqued her interest, but haven't quite proven yourself to be of sufficiently high status.

Again, if you agree with her, or acquiesce to her demands, you're showing that you're lower status than her ("failing" the shit test), and you won't generate any attraction.

Possible responses:

"I would, but I'm saving my wallet for marriage."
"Well you know, I won a silver medal in apple bobbing back in 6th grade. If you ask nicely maybe I'll sign you an autograph."
"Of course not! You have to buy me dinner first." (agree verbally, but continue to escalate physically)

Here are things a woman could say that could be considered flirting only:

"You have beautiful eyes."
"I love your new haircut!"
"It's cold out; good thing you're so warm..."

These are pretty straightforward indications of interest. A lot of body-language-only tells also fall into this group, such as her making eye contact and smiling, biting her lip, flipping her hair, stroking your leg, etc. In these cases you've likely already convinced her of your value, and simply need to escalate and drive the interaction further.

Post: #5

To use the example, I think the smirk is what makes it more likely to be a shit test. Smirks are generally derisive.
The giggling less so.
Now, take this with salt because I am hardly seasoned. But I think generally the same approach with slight modification is in order. With the smirk, you hold frame and give her no control. Ignore and continue as if it never happened.
For the giggle, smile a little (make it a little ambiguous what your smile could mean) but continue to escalate.