Post: #1

Ok, real quick, brief history... I've been working online the last six years. Have traveled throughout central american, the carribean and a little bit of south america. Have had amazing adventures and experiences.

But... lately, I've sort of had this feeling of uncertainty about what to do next. For the last few years I've had a go with the flow attitude and that has served me well. I've booked tickets to places I've never been, traveled alone to several countries and have always figured things out as I've gone along.

Now I've reached a point where I'm starting to crave a little stability though and I'm not sure where to achieve that exactly. I'm starting to look at some of my friends who have settled down and have to admit I'm a little envious at times. I know the grass isn't always greener and all that...

I don't really have a home town per se to go back to... I used to live in Chicago but have been gone so long the idea of going back doesn't really appeal to me. But the idea of starting over somewhere new again seems daunting as well, for some reason..

So... my question to you fellow RVFers is have any of you reached a point of uncertainty about what to do after being accustomed to moving around a lot? And how did you work through that? I don't recall ever having this much confusion about what the next step should be.. I just turned 40 so maybe it's some sort of midlife thing.

Thanks for your wisdom.

Post: #2

(10-19-2014 11:52 PM)nomadiam Wrote:  Ok, real quick, brief history... I've been working online the last six years. Have traveled throughout central american, the carribean and a little bit of south america. Have had amazing adventures and experiences.

But... lately, I've sort of had this feeling of uncertainty about what to do next. For the last few years I've had a go with the flow attitude and that has served me well. I've booked tickets to places I've never been, traveled alone to several countries and have always figured things out as I've gone along.

Now I've reached a point where I'm starting to crave a little stability though and I'm not sure where to achieve that exactly. I'm starting to look at some of my friends who have settled down and have to admit I'm a little envious at times. I know the grass isn't always greener and all that...

I don't really have a home town per se to go back to... I used to live in Chicago but have been gone so long the idea of going back doesn't really appeal to me. But the idea of starting over somewhere new again seems daunting as well, for some reason..

So... my question to you fellow RVFers is have any of you reached a point of uncertainty about what to do after being accustomed to moving around a lot? And how did you work through that? I don't recall ever having this much confusion about what the next step should be.. I just turned 40 so maybe it's some sort of midlife thing.

Thanks for your wisdom.

I haven't really reached that point yet, but what hinders you from just staying at one place that you like? You don't HAVE to move around, do you?

Post: #3

I agree, you have been to many countries so you should know which ones you like the most now.

Perhaps you should pick your favourite one and commit to staying there more permanently.

Also out of interest what sort of online work is it?

Post: #4

It is time to try out new things. Anything that looks interesting.

You have reached a point where you are not learning anything new from the things you are already doing. If you are not learning/growing, you are dying bit by bit.

Post: #5

Follow your gut instinct…

Every time in my life that I've made what turns out to be a bad decision has been when my brain has over-ridden my gut feeling.

Post: #6

(10-20-2014 06:06 AM)CrashBangWallop Wrote:  Follow your gut instinct…

Every time in my life that I've made what turns out to be a bad decision has been when my brain has over-ridden my gut feeling.

Good advice.
I read that intuition was actually your brain doing a thorough long-run analysis of all the data it had received, and then creating an emotion that encourages you to act in favour of the analysis. Conscious decisions, on the other hand, tend to be shorter-term, logical decisions based on a smaller amount of 'known facts'.

You should however do the following due-diligence: 'is it likely that my brain has been exposed to the data that would be necessary to create a reliable gut-feeling on this'. For instance, if your gut feeling is 'the lottery will have a number 10', there is no actual way for your brain to determine that no matter what information it has been exposed to. However, if your gut-feeling is 'the price of sugar will go up this year', and you happen to have been reading about food demand and the farming sector, it's likely a strong bet.

Post: #7

@nomadiam

I'm in a similar spot, so I feel you. This is how I'm handling it;

1. Meditate.

2. Follow your fear. What thought pops up first? Is it true? Can you re-frame it?

Work through one fear at a time. You will find the answer through subtraction.

3. Visualize your perfect day. Then set a series of short term goals that will help you determine whether you are getting farther or closer to that vision. Remove emotion/judgement from the process.

It's like a series of sign posts that will guide you to where you want to go, while minimizing course correction.

The hardest part is believing that the visualization is real.

Time is on your side brother.

Post: #8

(10-24-2014 10:58 PM)jtbabycarrots Wrote:  @nomadiam

I'm in a similar spot, so I feel you. This is how I'm handling it;

1. Meditate.

2. Follow your fear. What thought pops up first? Is it true? Can you re-frame it?

Work through one fear at a time. You will find the answer through subtraction.

3. Visualize your perfect day. Then set a series of short term goals that will help you determine whether you are getting farther or closer to that vision. Remove emotion/judgement from the process.

It's like a series of sign posts that will guide you to where you want to go, while minimizing course correction.

The hardest part is believing that the visualization is real.

Time is on your side brother.

Thanks man, starting to feel better about my situation. still not sure exactly what i'm doing next but have a few ideas and feel more optimistic about things. I've had a really fun few years but just feel like i need to get more grounded and settle down with one person or at least one place for awhile.

A lot my challenges seem related to money lately. I make a decent income online but feel like I just made more that would resolve a lot of these issues. But that could be just another mirage.... but.... I'm working on that issue anyway! Extra money is never a bad thing.

Pretty focused on the idea of building a hostel/music school sort of like a yoga retreat center but for musicians. A place to study music, take music related seminars and record music, so if there are any musicians out there who want to do something along those lines hit me up. I'm a guitarist/berklee alum.

Someone asked what I do online, i run a music industry related website, so looking to extend that into the real world. Part of my problem is just the result of too much travel and too much time working alone on a laptop for the last few years. really looking into getting a brick and mortar business going to compliment my online biz.

Post: #9

Yeah you sound like you need some roots and a sense of community, it seems clear.

I'd go to that favorite city and commit a good 6 months of becoming a real local instead of a guy passing through. Making a couple local strong male friend relationships is a good foundation for wanting to stay somewhere more permanently. Chicks and thrills come and go. Friends and family stick around and are never a waste of time.

The biggest conservative streak I have is looking for some larger existential meaning is kind of spiritual masturbation. You need people around you that you care about. This always has great purpose.