Post: #26

Affirmations work when they're based on experience:
http://badgerhut.wordpress.com/2012/05/1...ally-work/

Post: #27

^^^ It's funny you bring this up polar.

I just want to add that BELIEVING in the affirmation is very important. I think that this belief engages the subconscious part of the brain that doesn't fly by logic but maybe emotion. The emotion that makes you feel good about yourself and also results in that feeling no matter how bad the rejection or blowout.

I'm still working on this myself but I truly believe in it and am starting to see it work for me.

I used affirmations before but they were empty and without passion and feeling so they didn't work, obviously.

Don't lose focus on this when you're doing affirmations.

Post: #28

I say affirmations work but you have to affirm with absolute conviction and believe it no matter how ridiculous it may seems to others.

Worked for me.

Post: #29

(09-06-2014 09:32 PM)Nomad77 Wrote:  Here is how you do it. Treat it like a religion. Just choose to believe 100% and trust that everything else will follow and it will. It begins with your self-esteem. You have to fix that first.

I honestly believe I am better than a Victoria Secret model. Why? Because her value was given to her. I have earned my value.

Absolutely. I am definitely above all other girls - I'm successful, smarter than they are, more experienced, usually more traveled, well-read, often better dressed than they are, and yep, earned every penny of my value.

Luckily for us, some of the hot ones are insecure because they know they haven't done anything to deserve it. Or are stupid, haven't traveled outside NY or Miami yet, don't like getting paid for their looks, or Daddy issues or can't make friends easily or etc. They are all insecure about something.

Post: #30

(09-09-2014 07:27 PM)horn Wrote:  

(09-06-2014 09:32 PM)Nomad77 Wrote:  Here is how you do it. Treat it like a religion. Just choose to believe 100% and trust that everything else will follow and it will. It begins with your self-esteem. You have to fix that first.

I honestly believe I am better than a Victoria Secret model. Why? Because her value was given to her. I have earned my value.

Absolutely. I am definitely above all other girls - I'm successful, smarter than they are, more experienced, usually more traveled, well-read, often better dressed than they are, and yep, earned every penny of my value.

Luckily for us, some of the hot ones are insecure because they know they haven't done anything to deserve it. Or are stupid, haven't traveled outside NY or Miami yet, don't like getting paid for their looks, or Daddy issues or can't make friends easily or etc. They are all insecure about something.

I'm starting to like this guy more and more.

Post: #31

A bunch of beauties in this thread.

Affirmation of a lifetime. Affirm to youself that you can turn any affirmation into a reality. eh? Or is that just wishing for more wishes?

Every one of you is a king. That is, if you want to be.

Post: #32

Mindset before approaching. Steve again with more great stuff: his pre-approach routine.

Post: #33

(09-08-2014 08:06 PM)Cobra Wrote:  I just want to add that BELIEVING in the affirmation is very important. I think that this belief engages the subconscious part of the brain that doesn't fly by logic but maybe emotion. The emotion that makes you feel good about yourself and also results in that feeling no matter how bad the rejection or blowout.

I agree, genuine belief is key.

Even if you know the right mindset to have (e.g. abundance mentality), it takes a lot of work to instill that belief in yourself. You can't just uninstall previous beliefs and download new red pill convictions. You're basically trying to perform inception on yourself, and it takes real time and effort to develop an authentic, emotional belief.

For me, having a list of accomplishments that I consider worthwhile and impressive has helped me to genuinely believe that I'm a high-value man who deserves high-value women.

When I was 18, it was difficult for me to adopt an entitled attitude, because in my mind there wasn't much I could offer a girl. I lacked status and a social network. I didn't have an expensive house or car, or a sculpted physique, good looks, height, or a fascinating suite of life experiences and stories with which to entertain. There was no reason to think that a hot girl should choose to be with me over older, wealthier, taller, better looking, more popular men.

What changed for me was the realization that men and women were different, and that while her value (which is based primarily on her youth and beauty) can only be tweaked to a certain extent, my value can be created entirely from scratch. I can work hard, earn money, make friends, dress better, go to the gym, travel, read books, and approach women in order to practice my wit and charm.

So I did all those things, and as my masculine value increased, so did my success with women. This success boosted my ego and helped me view myself as an attractive man (which in turn led to more success with women). I imagine it's similar to a cute girl putting on makeup for the first time and, after seeing an increase in head turns and flirtations, starting to think of herself as an 8 instead of a 6. While affirmations can help you adopt a new belief, real-world feedback can help solidify it.

While for the younger guys "fake it 'til you make it" should still be a staple, earning your own value (like already mentioned a few times in this thread) to me seems like the best long-term method of achieving self-confidence and the mindset that comes along with it.

Post: #34

Mindset trumps everything at the end of the day.

That's why I read GManifesto.

Post: #35

Affirmations and NLP helped me tremendously.

To touch base on this though, your inner game progression comes down to three intertwining factors:

a) Patience
b) Feedback
c) Self Trust/Confidence

Assuming you're putting in the work;

Your feedback from your environment will give you confidence -> your confidence will give you patience as you know you're progressing -> the patience will give you results, in the form of feedback.

This creates a cycle that continues for a while. If your self-trust and confidence is weak, it is easy to fall off this cycle hence the importance of inner confidence which is not derived from external resources. Your feedback must be internal. It is difficult though, I only got this via visualizations/affirmations and NLP.

Even then, the work I was putting gave me the feedback and the cycle continued. It was consuming, becoming completely self-confident as I keep looking to improve in any way possible and people say I am too hard on myself.

For you to become the best at whatever, the feedback stops being important as you cease to judge yourself off the pinging of others and rather of where you want to be/are.

It would be very easy for me to compare myself to other people my age and rest but I am still not happy. Your internal desire will propel you.

I hope this makes sense, this is just an ad-hoc thought I jotted down at the coffee shop two weekends ago and I haven't had an opportunity to share with any one so criticism is appreciated as always, gentlemen.

Post: #36

As a writer I struggle with this constantly. Self-doubt rears its ugly head whether I'm gaming a hot chick at the mall (Victoria's Secret has HOT chicks, but you don't want your buds to see you there) or finishing a novel. I finished novel #7 and the self-doubt, which is really just a complex form of stage fright when you get down to it, comes along to stab me in the back: my characters all sound the same. the story sucks and goes nowhere. The pacing is off. Female lead is too masculine, too unrealistic. The guns are fucked up, doing things they shouldn't. I sound too much like Clive Barker. Or Stephen King. Or Koontz. Or Piers Anthony (all my fav authors). Stephen King admitted that whenever he read Ray Bradbury, his style mimicked his. Nothing wrong with that, he says. Gaming, too, doesn't have to have Giovanny's stamp of approval, or Roosh's or whoever happens to be the top player of the day. Each man has his own style. Each man has to carve out his own style. Gaming, like writing, is art. What works for one guy might not work for the next.

But I still envy Commander Data on most days, Data who can switch his android emotion chip to "OFF".

Post: #37

Game has to be multifaceted. I never viewed it as a one-dimensional type of thing.

Post: #38

(09-07-2014 05:48 PM)polar Wrote:  Affirmations work when they're based on experience:
http://badgerhut.wordpress.com/2012/05/1...ally-work/

Hey, thanks for the link. Glad someone got value from the post.

Post: #39

(09-07-2014 04:43 PM)Checkmat Wrote:  My question is, how do you actually program or RE-program yourself to have these beliefs?

I was looking up affirmations just now (repeating phrases over and over again to yourself, ie "I am a lovable person", or "I accept myself completely as I am") and this study came up: https://www.psychologicalscience.org/med...9/wood.cfm

"As it turned out, the individuals with low self-esteem felt worse after repeating the positive self-statement compared to another low self-esteem group who did not repeat the self-statement. The individuals with high self-esteem felt better after repeating the positive self-statement--but only slightly."

If affirmations won't work on people who already have low self-esteem then what practical things can somebody do to change their beliefs?

To change the way you see yourself you need to get results. Success leads to success. Accomplish things that will make you proud of yourself. Do what you've always been afraid to do, and that's it, you have broken the cycle, you can build on that.
Personnaly, I started by quitting smoking. I was a heavy smoker (two packs a day) but i managed to quit by going cold turkey (and with the help of the Allen Carr method). That made me proud, it triggered something in me ; I came to think that I could accomplish thongs if I wanted to. Then I lost a lot of weight, began to workout regularly, learned nutrition and acquired some cooking skills...

Imo, you need to find your trigger, the thing that will make you feel good about yourself. You can't fake it though, it has to be real to work.

Post: #40

(09-14-2014 10:04 AM)Frater Wrote:  To change the way you see yourself you need to get results. Success leads to success. Accomplish things that will make you proud of yourself. Do what you've always been afraid to do, and that's it, you have broken the cycle, you can build on that.

Actual success - at something - is key. Our society sells a chick-centric idea that you can wake up and will yourself into a new attitude and mindset. Men don't usually work that way, our mindsets and beliefs flow from what we actually do in life. How many times have you read game/dating advice that boiled down to "be more confident?" A non-sociopathic dude can't flip the switch like that.

Post: #41

(09-07-2014 04:43 PM)Checkmat Wrote:  My question is, how do you actually program or RE-program yourself to have these beliefs?

I was looking up affirmations just now (repeating phrases over and over again to yourself, ie "I am a lovable person", or "I accept myself completely as I am") and this study came up: https://www.psychologicalscience.org/med...9/wood.cfm

You don't. You quit game, go *fuck it* and do what you want. It's really that simple.

Tip 1. Talk to wise old people. They will all tell you how much they regret NOT DOING things they really wanted back in the days due to irrational concerns that were created out of thin air due to their self doubts. I really recommend talking to old people about life and deep stuff. It's like "back to the future" stuff, you fast forward years ahead during that short conversation, learn valuable stuff about life by just listening and then come back to your age knowing stuff that you would realize in 40-50 years. It's awesome.

Tip 2. Have you ever met very simpleminded people from the country? I love them haha they are soooooo dumb and socially unaware that they don't even understand why they should not follow their stupid ideas. There's a lesson in that.

Tip 3. Ever heard that "you can do whatever you can?". It's sooooooo cliche but the crazy thing is that it's actually true BUT... ONLY IF you stop seeking permission from external sources. You can start working out today despite having zero experience, you can try new style and buy new clothes against your friends' opinions, you can talk to that hottie sitting down on the bench even though you don't know what to say at first, etc... It might be rough awkward uncomfortable at first of course, that's ok, but there's no real reason why you can't do it and no tangible obstacle that stops you.

Read "The war of art" book. There's a lot about internal resistance and our brilliant self destructive mechanisms that sabotages us.

Conclusion: We are our own worst enemies.