Post: #1

Day game. Talking her up about her hobbies and what she likes to do. I talk about some cool parties coming up that I think she should go to since they match her interests.

She works in public health, makes six figures, and is pretty smooth at presenting herself.

Then the weird thing.

As she walks out, she turns back to look at me. Her facade slips and her face flashes two emotions at once: In huge, bold letters, fear. But also a wry, hopeful smile is in there. Her back and legs turn stiff, her arms move jerky, like the emotion is so strong its even paralyzing her body.

The last time I saw emotion this intense, I was holding an injured coworker while waiting for the ambulance to arrive.

I'd like to think I was confident enough not to flash back any response to her freak face. I had no idea her fear of rejection was so deep, so huge. And then it just all spilled out and was flashed to me in just those few seconds. If I'd been looking elsewhere or had been distracted I would have totally missed this insight.

I just got telegraphed the biggest poker tell in the world during a day game pickup. I did not know women could have this much fear. So much fear of being rejected it literally paralyzes them.

Just started reading http://www.amazon.com/Unmasking-Face-Rec...1883536367 and have no idea if the rest of the book sucks or not. But just his explanation of how long emotions last and how short they're really shown on the face so you have to keep looking for them has given me new insight.

Post: #2

Women def are alot more terrified of rejection than we are. I can't recall how many times women make getting rejected by a guy such a big deal. I remember a few cases. One got very drunk at a party cuz the guy she was into wasn't into her. Another girl, a fatty, was really upset about it.

I remember the various times when seducing a woman, when she didn't want to do anything beyond just the safe/platonic stuff....I rejected them politely in a way that said "Sorry, but im just not here to just talk" and told them they'd probably be better off finding someone to where they really took it to heart. Its kind of funny because they got all excited when i talked to them again. So yea, women are very afraid to get rejected. They expect us to be able to handle it but they themselves can't.

As you mentioned, women def are afraid of losing what they have. Hence why also they tend to be very jealous creatures.

Post: #3

Quote:Women def are alot more terrified of rejection than we are. I can't recall how many times women make getting rejected by a guy such a big deal. I remember a few cases. One got very drunk at a party cuz the guy she was into wasn't into her. Another girl, a fatty, was really upset about it.

I remember the various times when seducing a woman, when she didn't want to do anything beyond just the safe/platonic stuff....I rejected them politely in a way that said "Sorry, but im just not here to just talk" and told them they'd probably be better off finding someone to where they really took it to heart. Its kind of funny because they got all excited when i talked to them again. So yea, women are very afraid to get rejected. They expect us to be able to handle it but they themselves can't.

As you mentioned, women def are afraid of losing what they have. Hence why also they tend to be very jealous creatures.

Coupla things:

A woman's sexual market value (SMV) is heavily weighed on physical looks. Of course, other factors such as femininity and personality may play a small role (e.g. looking for an LTR), but that does not change the fact that her looks are basically the giant crutch in the dating market.

A woman can get sex easier than a man. She does not need to look like a supermodel, but if she is an average, decent, cute (read = not fat) girl, then getting sex will not be a problem. She can basically point to any random guy off the street, say,"Gimme sex," and he'll give it to her. Having men approach her and hit on her on a daily basis basically affirms her ego that she has a high SMV. However, when she gets rejected, she self-consciously bumps down her SMV. She feels that she is not wanted nor desired. Whereas men have been throwing themselves at her, being rejected for a woman is definetely far worse than for a man. What once was something easy, effortless, and simple, has now turned into something difficult. This could be a signal of a deteriorating SMV if she is in her late 20s or 30s.

Post: #4

(07-20-2011 08:21 PM)blurb Wrote:  Coupla things:

A woman's sexual market value (SMV) is heavily weighed on physical looks. Of course, other factors such as femininity and personality may play a small role (e.g. looking for an LTR), but that does not change the fact that her looks are basically the giant crutch in the dating market.

A woman can get sex easier than a man. She does not need to look like a supermodel, but if she is an average, decent, cute (read = not fat) girl, then getting sex will not be a problem. She can basically point to any random guy off the street, say,"Gimme sex," and he'll give it to her. Having men approach her and hit on her on a daily basis basically affirms her ego that she has a high SMV. However, when she gets rejected, she self-consciously bumps down her SMV. She feels that she is not wanted nor desired. Whereas men have been throwing themselves at her, being rejected for a woman is definetely far worse than for a man. What once was something easy, effortless, and simple, has now turned into something difficult. This could be a signal of a deteriorating SMV if she is in her late 20s or 30s.

That was a fantastic post! And definitely rings true if you completely what goes on.

Its funny, a female acquaintance of mine said how it can be JUST as easy for a man to get laid as a female. I disagree. She's like "A guy just has to lower his standards" But here's the thing, what she doesn't realize is that women biologically are design, even if they're average looking....to resist certain males. Even some ugly/fat women won't always give out the pussy.

Us men, biologically...if pussied is offered to us and unless the girl is absolutely hideous...we'd take it. So yea, most women can definitely get laid easier than a guy can...hence why, as you said...they def take it to heart when it gets more difficult for them. Plus their pride probably would have trouble accepting that a guy would reject them after getting accepted.

So when a man gets more praise for banging quite a few hot girls, i think its justified. It def takes skill for a guy to do it vs a woman, where its easier..even for an average girl.

Post: #5

Put this together with some other things she said and I think I figured it out now:

She's got one-itis. And I'm the one.

The PUA community negs men for this. But there doesn't seem to be recognition that women get one-itis also.

Post: #6

Fear of rejection in females is the first thing I learned about when first starting my career in approaching.

I met a girl a couple years ago who I thought was pretty cute and relationship-worthy. She would always respond to my texts and was always up for hanging out but she seemed particularly quiet. We had sex after a week or so and it was absolutely awful. I could tell she didn't enjoy it at all. I had no idea what was going on.

I expressed my romantic interest in her a little later and the insecurities just started pouring out. She didn't want to be used for sex, she thought she was getting old, she didn't know how long it would last, etc.

I walked away from that experience blown away. It never occurred to me that women are afraid of getting rejected as much as I was. I thought that their generally high market value made them somewhat immune to that.

When a girl is quiet and unresponsive with me now I think of that experience. I used to take it personally, like I was doing something wrong. But I quickly realized that it's not worth talking to a girl who is terrified of getting near you. You're just asking for bad sex and drama. I love finding women who talk to me with warmth and confidence. It's what keeps me going no matter how bad things get.

Post: #7

(07-20-2011 08:21 PM)blurb Wrote:  She can basically point to any random guy off the street, say,"Gimme sex," and he'll give it to her.

I really doubt it. My guess would be that most guys would think it is a prank. However let's look closer on it.

First, you got a chooser problem. A girl you described is likely not interested in a fat bald old dude. And since American women tend to overestimate their attractiveness, this limits her targets to those who look better - significantly better - than her. Now this dude might not be interested in fucking someone who is older or look worse than him. Indeed, he still might as there is no effort involved, but it is not absolute.

And now even if she's not an immediate turnoff for him, that random guy still may:

1. Be in relationship, and treat it seriously. Sure, it is very rare in modern USA, but still possible.

2. Have no time for sex right now. Maybe he has an important job interview, a rock concert, or just wants to see that museum which closes in an hour. Most people are on a street during daytime for some reason, and not all of them have flexible, open schedules.

3. Have no ability to have sex right now. Maybe he just fucked someone, jerked off to porn ten minutes ago, or just had a huge lunch.

4. Be truly religious, or have other beliefs which would prevent him from accepting the offer (for example, he might be a virgin).

5. Be a gay, or asexual. Nuff said.

6. Have a common-sense guard which would stop him: is it some kind of scam? Does she try to set up an extortion? All guys know this is not something women usually do, so there must be a reason for that. I'd guess it would be rare for US, but in some Asian/Latin countries such scenario often leads to a poor dude to be robbed, sometime even killed.

7. Have a legal concern, like is she on drugs, very drunk or mentally ill? Again, this is very unusual behavior which raises a red flag immediately. Could she actually give consent to sex, or she/her roommate will scream "rape" as soon as the drug wears off?

So, as you see, it is not that easy.

Regarding rejection: some women feel rejected even if she didn't approach you, just by the fact you did not approach her even if she established the eye contact, moved to your vicinity or touched you on her way out. Actually even if you approached her, had a conversation but ejected because you ran out of things to say, she might feel rejected as well.

Post: #8

Imagine waking up from partying when you're a 24 year old woman.

You go out and see a woman maybe 22 with an adorable child and all you want in the whole world is to have your own child like that.

You go home, look in the mirror and see your first few wrinkles and weathering skin.

You find out your co-worker had in-vitro fertilization with her husband at 34 because she couldn't get pregnant. It cost 10,000 out of pocket (real figure) even though they both have insurance. ( I know someone this happened to)

You're making $14 per hour as an office temp with your English degree.

And NONE of the cool 28 year old guys who you think of as "older" but still within 'acceptable' age range are anywhere NEAR wanting to have kids.
You bring it up in a roundabout way, describing someone else who did it to feel them out, it completely goes over their heads and they LAUGH at the very
idea of being trapped like that, maybe even mentioning child support and total misery.

Going out with Johnny Cool, 28, and fucking him for 3-4 months during which you can 't fall in love with Mr. Right-Pay-For-The-Baby because you're an emotional herd-animal wastes 3 months of your precious 70 months to extinction.

Post: #9

(07-22-2011 03:17 AM)oldnemesis Wrote:  

(07-20-2011 08:21 PM)blurb Wrote:  She can basically point to any random guy off the street, say,"Gimme sex," and he'll give it to her.

I really doubt it. My guess would be that most guys would think it is a prank. However let's look closer on it.

First, you got a chooser problem. A girl you described is likely not interested in a fat bald old dude. And since American women tend to overestimate their attractiveness, this limits her targets to those who look better - significantly better - than her. Now this dude might not be interested in fucking someone who is older or look worse than him. Indeed, he still might as there is no effort involved, but it is not absolute.

And now even if she's not an immediate turnoff for him, that random guy still may:

1. Be in relationship, and treat it seriously. Sure, it is very rare in modern USA, but still possible.

2. Have no time for sex right now. Maybe he has an important job interview, a rock concert, or just wants to see that museum which closes in an hour. Most people are on a street during daytime for some reason, and not all of them have flexible, open schedules.

3. Have no ability to have sex right now. Maybe he just fucked someone, jerked off to porn ten minutes ago, or just had a huge lunch.

4. Be truly religious, or have other beliefs which would prevent him from accepting the offer (for example, he might be a virgin).

5. Be a gay, or asexual. Nuff said.

6. Have a common-sense guard which would stop him: is it some kind of scam? Does she try to set up an extortion? All guys know this is not something women usually do, so there must be a reason for that. I'd guess it would be rare for US, but in some Asian/Latin countries such scenario often leads to a poor dude to be robbed, sometime even killed.

7. Have a legal concern, like is she on drugs, very drunk or mentally ill? Again, this is very unusual behavior which raises a red flag immediately. Could she actually give consent to sex, or she/her roommate will scream "rape" as soon as the drug wears off?

So, as you see, it is not that easy.

Regarding rejection: some women feel rejected even if she didn't approach you, just by the fact you did not approach her even if she established the eye contact, moved to your vicinity or touched you on her way out. Actually even if you approached her, had a conversation but ejected because you ran out of things to say, she might feel rejected as well.

I was being sarcastic; the point I was trying to emphasize is that women can get sex more easily than a man can.

Now, on to some of your points.

Quote:Indeed, he still might as there is no effort involved, but it is not absolute.

It's very rare for a man to refuse sex from a consenting average woman as long as she isn't horribly obese and/or ugly.


1. Sure, that's like finding a needle in a haystack. Highly unlikely.

2. Sexual intercourse need not take a long time. 2-5 minutes max is enough time for a guy to bust a nut.

3. The average guy (i.e., majority of men) are sexually frustrated and ignorant of game. I highly doubt they've just finished fucking a woman left and right. Why jerk off to porn when you have a real woman in front of you. A beautiful woman can inspire you to great heights.

4. Most people in the west are not "religious" in terms of explicitly adhering to a strict set of rules to an extremist level. Young people are the least religious out of all age groups. Even if he is "religious," what's not to say that he can't fall into temptation? Heard of King David? King Solomon?

5. Most men are straight. Gays are a minority. That's like finding a needle in a haystack. Also, openly gay men usually behave in a way that makes it known to her that he is gay. Most people can take a hint.

6. Again, I was being sarcastic, but the point is, she doesn't necessarily need to blurt out "Gimme sex," she can open him up in a friendly manner, start an intersting conversation, and use her feminine attributes to slowly seduce him (not hard).

7. People that are drunk, on drugs, or are mentally ill, are usually easy to spot. You don't know need to become a detective to figure out when someone is flat-out drunk or stoned.

Post: #10

(07-23-2011 03:35 PM)blurb Wrote:  I was being sarcastic; the point I was trying to emphasize is that women can get sex more easily than a man can.

Not really. What you said is that women can get straight sex without commitment, feelings or any kind of relationship perspective much easier than men. However this is a moot point, as this is something very few women are interested in, unless it is with a man who is way out of their league.

Quote:It's very rare for a man to refuse sex from a consenting average woman as long as she isn't horribly obese and/or ugly.

Do you have any first-hand experience? Myself I can attest that the only times I was approached at the street by women I do not know and who offered me sex was when they were hookers. Maybe you're much luckier, but still I doubt it happens too often.

Quote:2. Sexual intercourse need not take a long time. 2-5 minutes max is enough time for a guy to bust a nut.

I'd say if you bust a nut in 2 minutes, you need to get a check-up as this may indicate some medical conditions. But this is not the case. Unless she is a hooker, she is not interested in just you busting a nut, so she'd expect more than 2-5 minutes.

Quote:3. The average guy (i.e., majority of men) are sexually frustrated and ignorant of game. I highly doubt they've just finished fucking a woman left and right. Why jerk off to porn when you have a real woman in front of you. A beautiful woman can inspire you to great heights.

Most guys who go outside their house for some daytime tasks do not really expect to be approached by a hot woman offering quick no-obligation sex, so your "why jerk off" argument sounds strange.

BTW, I'm not really sure about "sexually frustrated" part unless you're talking about 16-20yo. This seem to be a common image the media create for men here in US, but I now doubt this is really the case. Even in swinger clubs, where sex is easy and no-effort, most people do have standards and they do not fuck everyone right and left.

Quote:4. Most people in the west are not "religious" in terms of explicitly adhering to a strict set of rules to an extremist level. Young people are the least religious out of all age groups. Even if he is "religious," what's not to say that he can't fall into temptation? Heard of King David? King Solomon?

I know those who would definitely resist (and did it before), so I'm pretty confident there are some. Of course I'm not assuming everyone who calls himself Christian would do it, most of those are just hypocritical bunch with no real values (especially here in US), but there still are some people who firmly believe in those values.

Quote:5. Most men are straight. Gays are a minority. That's like finding a needle in a haystack. Also, openly gay men usually behave in a way that makes it known to her that he is gay. Most people can take a hint.

The statistics says around 5% of male population is gay. It doesn't matter they behave differently - people described in previous examples might also behave differently. I'm using those as the examples of how her pool of guys being shred.

Quote:6. Again, I was being sarcastic, but the point is, she doesn't necessarily need to blurt out "Gimme sex," she can open him up in a friendly manner, start an intersting conversation, and use her feminine attributes to slowly seduce him (not hard).

Well, now this is a different story, as she is actually putting some significant (for an American female) effort into get you in her bed. The only way I see this to happen if she has significantly lower value than you do, and have some hidden agenda (like getting pregnant from you), in which case you might not really be interested in fucking her.

Quote:7. People that are drunk, on drugs, or are mentally ill, are usually easy to spot. You don't know need to become a detective to figure out when someone is flat-out drunk or stoned.

They behave weird. And what you described is kind of weird behavior, which doesn't fit into social patterns. I'd make a good jury statement out of it, and every prosecutor would likely do a much better job. So the threat is here, and it is real.

Post: #11

(07-23-2011 08:48 PM)oldnemesis Wrote:  

(07-23-2011 03:35 PM)blurb Wrote:  I was being sarcastic; the point I was trying to emphasize is that women can get sex more easily than a man can.

Not really. What you said is that women can get straight sex without commitment, feelings or any kind of relationship perspective much easier than men.

Yes, that's exactly what I meant--striaght-up no-strings-attached sex. I thought that was what One Night Stands (ONS) were for. Or are there different kinds of sex for which I need to use a Linnaean-like classification system to categorize sex.

You do know that in almost every available sex survey, women have almost always reported having more sexual partners and sexual experiences than men? Plus, as we all know, women lie about their number count, so even the data of surveys and studies should be adjusted in accordance with what we know about women. The 80/20 Rule didn't pop out of nowhere.

Quote:BTW, I'm not really sure about "sexually frustrated" part unless you're talking about 16-20yo. This seem to be a common image the media create for men here in US, but I now doubt this is really the case. Even in swinger clubs, where sex is easy and no-effort, most people do have standards and they do not fuck everyone right and left.

Men in America are desperate for pussy. Hence, you see a trend where even fat chics think they're hot, and to even make things worse, there are guys desperate enough to actually hit on them. 6s walk around in DC like they're 10s and expect to be treated like supermodels. Oh, wait, I've presumed that you live in the U.S. If you don't live in the U.S., the dating market here is a lot different than from where you're from.

Post: #12

(07-23-2011 08:48 PM)oldnemesis Wrote:  

Quote:6. Again, I was being sarcastic, but the point is, she doesn't necessarily need to blurt out "Gimme sex," she can open him up in a friendly manner, start an intersting conversation, and use her feminine attributes to slowly seduce him (not hard).

Well, now this is a different story, as she is actually putting some significant (for an American female) effort into get you in her bed. The only way I see this to happen if she has significantly lower value than you do, and have some hidden agenda (like getting pregnant from you), in which case you might not really be interested in fucking her.

I think you misunderstood me. My statement that a woman can point to any random guy off the street and say "Gimme sex" and get sex from the guy was just a hyperbole--an extreme exaggeration.

You took that statement literally.

I meant that as long as a woman wasn't morbidly obese and/or extremely ugly and passes the guy's boner test, then she can send strong IOIs in his direction so as to let him know that she's open; most guys who know game can take a hint. She can also be brazen enough as to actually approach him.

Ergo, as long as she's bangable in the guy's eyes and lets him know that she's open or directly approaches him, then she can pretty much get sex from him.

Post: #13

(07-20-2011 02:43 PM)Blackhawk Wrote:  Day game. Talking her up about her hobbies and what she likes to do. I talk about some cool parties coming up that I think she should go to since they match her interests.

She works in public health, makes six figures, and is pretty smooth at presenting herself.

Then the weird thing.

As she walks out, she turns back to look at me. Her facade slips and her face flashes two emotions at once: In huge, bold letters, fear. But also a wry, hopeful smile is in there. Her back and legs turn stiff, her arms move jerky, like the emotion is so strong its even paralyzing her body.

The last time I saw emotion this intense, I was holding an injured coworker while waiting for the ambulance to arrive.

I'd like to think I was confident enough not to flash back any response to her freak face. I had no idea her fear of rejection was so deep, so huge. And then it just all spilled out and was flashed to me in just those few seconds. If I'd been looking elsewhere or had been distracted I would have totally missed this insight.

I just got telegraphed the biggest poker tell in the world during a day game pickup. I did not know women could have this much fear. So much fear of being rejected it literally paralyzes them.

Just started reading http://www.amazon.com/Unmasking-Face-Rec...1883536367 and have no idea if the rest of the book sucks or not. But just his explanation of how long emotions last and how short they're really shown on the face so you have to keep looking for them has given me new insight.

Any updates on that book, "Unmasking the Face", is it something that you feel could help out with game? I've been studying game for a little while now, and I'm starting to get interested in stuff like NLP and body language. I'm thinking about buying a book about body language, to help with correcting my own body language, as well as being able to read signals from others, especially out "in the field." Anyone have any recommendations, I'm all ears.

Post: #14

I haven't heard of that particular book, but do be careful with body language books. A lot of them are complete crap filled with obvious tells any kid can pick out ("crossed arms indicated closed body language...")

I found "Introducing NLP" by Joseph O'Connor and another person I can't remember right now to be a great place to start. The drawback to something like NLP or hypnosis (which are similar) is that there is a lot of BS out there. The book I mentioned gives a few examples but mostly talks about concepts and techniques. Some, like frame control, you'll already be familiar with if you have an intro to game. Others (like the swish technique) are less applicable to game but still educational.

Post: #15

(07-22-2011 03:17 AM)oldnemesis Wrote:  

(07-20-2011 08:21 PM)blurb Wrote:  She can basically point to any random guy off the street, say,"Gimme sex," and he'll give it to her.

I really doubt it. My guess would be that most guys would think it is a prank. However let's look closer on it.

First, you got a chooser problem. A girl you described is likely not interested in a fat bald old dude. And since American women tend to overestimate their attractiveness, this limits her targets to those who look better - significantly better - than her. Now this dude might not be interested in fucking someone who is older or look worse than him. Indeed, he still might as there is no effort involved, but it is not absolute.

And now even if she's not an immediate turnoff for him, that random guy still may:

1. Be in relationship, and treat it seriously. Sure, it is very rare in modern USA, but still possible.

2. Have no time for sex right now. Maybe he has an important job interview, a rock concert, or just wants to see that museum which closes in an hour. Most people are on a street during daytime for some reason, and not all of them have flexible, open schedules.

3. Have no ability to have sex right now. Maybe he just fucked someone, jerked off to porn ten minutes ago, or just had a huge lunch.

4. Be truly religious, or have other beliefs which would prevent him from accepting the offer (for example, he might be a virgin).

5. Be a gay, or asexual. Nuff said.

6. Have a common-sense guard which would stop him: is it some kind of scam? Does she try to set up an extortion? All guys know this is not something women usually do, so there must be a reason for that. I'd guess it would be rare for US, but in some Asian/Latin countries such scenario often leads to a poor dude to be robbed, sometime even killed.

7. Have a legal concern, like is she on drugs, very drunk or mentally ill? Again, this is very unusual behavior which raises a red flag immediately. Could she actually give consent to sex, or she/her roommate will scream "rape" as soon as the drug wears off?

So, as you see, it is not that easy.

Regarding rejection: some women feel rejected even if she didn't approach you, just by the fact you did not approach her even if she established the eye contact, moved to your vicinity or touched you on her way out. Actually even if you approached her, had a conversation but ejected because you ran out of things to say, she might feel rejected as well.

some study in the 70s that had attractive people approach people at a college campus showed that 50% of men and 0% of women would agree to sex with a random stranger (50% of men and 50% of women would agree to date)

Post: #16

(07-23-2011 11:36 PM)blurb Wrote:  Yes, that's exactly what I meant--striaght-up no-strings-attached sex. I thought that was what One Night Stands (ONS) were for. Or are there different kinds of sex for which I need to use a Linnaean-like classification system to categorize sex.

There is still a difference between ONS and your scenario - generally, to get ONS from a woman you need to either put some effort into it OR have significantly more value than her. But even in the last case there is still some effort involved. Even in swinger clubs, when pretty much everyone is there right for casual sex, you don't approach strangers with "wanna fuck?".

Quote:The 80/20 Rule didn't pop out of nowhere.

Most urban legends didn't pop out of nowhere. They all have their supporters, arguments and even web sites. It doesn't make it any more true.

Quote:Men in America are desperate for pussy. Hence, you see a trend where even fat chics think they're hot, and to even make things worse, there are guys desperate enough to actually hit on them.

First, "hitting on them" is very vague. It may be a very low investment activity, in form of approaching, having a small talk followed with "what are you up to?". Or it may involve months of dating, expensive dinners, cruises, diamond rings and so on. What I mostly witness in bars is a very low investment hitting; I can't remember when I seen the last time a dude would buy a chick a drink.

Second, even here in Bay Area where we have significant shortage of chicks, quite often I see fat ugly chicks NOBODY is hitting on. Even old fat dudes in a bar ignore them. And when they approach someone, those usually brush them off. Sure, once in a while someone (usually as ugly as they are) takes them, but it happens quite rare.

Now I've only been to ten or so states, so maybe this isn't the case everywhere, but so far the image presented by the media does not match what I see with my own eyes - and in such cases I believe my eyes, and not the media.

Quote:6s walk around in DC like they're 10s and expect to be treated like supermodels. Oh, wait, I've presumed that you live in the U.S. If you don't live in the U.S., the dating market here is a lot different than from where you're from.

I live in Silicon Valley, which is worse than DC in terms of chicks (yes, I've been to DC too).

(07-23-2011 11:46 PM)blurb Wrote:  I meant that as long as a woman wasn't morbidly obese and/or extremely ugly and passes the guy's boner test, then she can send strong IOIs in his direction so as to let him know that she's open; most guys who know game can take a hint.

This is different. Such an offer is basically a direct invitation. If one rejects it, this is basically a true "lost notch", so it takes some balls to reject it. It may even feel socially awkward. Basically it is the same if someone offered you money.

IOIs do not carry such weight - it is basically an invitation to start doing some work, with higher than usual probability to get laid. There is no guarantee, and no awkwardness involved if you just ignore those IOIs - I have done it multiple times. IOI is more like someone giving you a job offer - meaning, you are likely to get money at some time in future, but only when you put some effort into it. The incentive is much weaker comparing to the case above.