Mr. Calicoat
Recovering Beta

Posts: 152
Joined: Dec 2013
Reputation: 3
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I saved my parents' marriage with game.
Today I have discovered what a wonderful thing game really is. It was quite an emotional day for all 3 of us, my mother, my father and myself. And today I realized how far I've come in the past year. I've went from a skeptical person who thought game was merely a sleazy tool to get into a woman's pants, to a mature alpha man who realizes game is more, much more than that.
Game is a way of life. Game is the fundamental understanding of human interaction between men and women. And today game saved my parents' marriage.
Recently my mother was diagnosed with depression. She has been sitting at home sick for several weeks/months now. She overworked herself and told me her work environment was no longer a pleasant welcoming environment. She hates her boss (who's a woman, figures), she hates her colleagues who she has constant fights with and she hates the company she works for. She wanted to quit her job but with her age she knows it's nearly impossible to find another job and my dad doesn't earn enough to sustain both himself and my mother.
However, after talking for a while and using my game knowledge to have an actual proper conversation with my mother about her feelings, I unearthed the ugly truth. The root of my mother's depression was not her work, it was her marriage. After 27 years of marriage, my mother was no longer happy being with my father. She still loves him with all her heart, but she didn't feel loved anymore. She also felt misunderstood and she started to wonder if she and dad where still the right person for each other.
Digging deeper, I discovered my dad made a ton of typical Beta mistakes. No surprise there, because I always thought my dad was mostly a typical Beta provider. But the biggest mistake my dad made was approaching my mom and her current situation with logic. Whenever my mom and dad ended up in a discussion about my mom's situation, my dad used logical arguments based on facts against my mother's arguments based on emotions and her feelings. My mom is not stupid and knew damn well that my dad is often right in what he says, but she didn't feel heard, she didn't feel understood, and so in the end after a long argument she usually just said "yeah, you're right" and she would stay silent for the rest of the day, feeling miserable, feeling misunderstood and feeling unloved.
After hearing all this, I decided to approach my dad to hear his side of the story. Turns out my dad too started to grow tired of his marriage. He couldn't understand how my mom could be so irrational. His desire for my mom was at an all time low and his sexual frustration at an all time high because my mom didn't put out anymore. He didn't understand what he did wrong and he could not make any logical sense of the situation and how my mom dealt with it.
I explained to my dad how my mom felt, what she felt, how and why she felt misunderstood, and how he could change it. I told my dad that he had the power to turn this situation around. Only he could save his marriage, with game. When I told my dad this he was awestruck. The fool didn't even realize his marriage was in jeopardy. He was completely clueless.
So I started to teach my dad game. In one afternoon I shared all my knowledge with him that I collected over the past year from Roosh, this forum and other places. At first my dad was very stubborn and skeptical. He didn't take me seriously. But I verbally pimp slapped his ass until he finally listened for real. At the end of the day he gave me a reluctant but genuine thank you. Yes, my dad is a stubborn fool, but he'll learn. It's not to late for him to save his marriage.
Today my mom approached me again, in tears, thanking me from the bottom of her heart. She told me that my dad finally approached her and they had a long good talk. For the first time she felt understood and supported by him. For the first time since ages she felt loved by him again. After that they had sex again for the first time since a longggg time. My mom was so happy. She told me I saved their marriage.
Today my parents are married for exactly 27 years. I hope that they will be able to add many more years to that.
I want to thank Roosh and everyone on this forum from the bottom of my heart. Without this forum, without you guys sharing the red pill knowledge, this story might have had an entirely different ending. You guys rock! Thank you guys so much.
(This post was last modified: 05-29-2014 06:38 PM by Mr. Calicoat.)
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| 05-29-2014 06:21 PM |
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Mr. Calicoat
Recovering Beta

Posts: 152
Joined: Dec 2013
Reputation: 3
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RE: I saved my parents' marriage with game.
(05-29-2014 06:42 PM)L M McCoy Wrote: "however, after talking for a while and using my game knowledge to have an actual proper conversation with my mother about her feelings"
what does this even mean?
It means that instead of making the same mistakes my father made (and the old me would make) and approach my mother with cold straight logic and facts, I actually listened to the emotions she conveyed to me and responded to her emotions rather than what she actually said. I repeated her emotions back to her in my own words, showing her I genuinely understood her and understood her feelings, and tried to work from there. And whenever I felt my mom said something truly irrational, I agreed and amplified to make her see her mistakes, instead of doing what my dad did, which was flat out telling her she was wrong and then using logic and facts to explain her why she was wrong.
I also explained to my mom what kind of mistakes I thought my dad made and why he made them. She confirmed what I said and said she agreed. This gave me a pretty strong idea of what exactly was wrong in this marriage, which was primarily miss communication between the two of them, because they both communicated at entirely different levels, something I understood because of what I've read here on this forum and at other places, but something my dad was apparently completely clueless about.
(This post was last modified: 05-29-2014 06:52 PM by Mr. Calicoat.)
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| 05-29-2014 06:47 PM |
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Mr. Calicoat
Recovering Beta

Posts: 152
Joined: Dec 2013
Reputation: 3
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RE: I saved my parents' marriage with game.
(05-29-2014 06:50 PM)RawGod Wrote: Usually a man resists hearing life-changing Red Pill wisdom. This goes 10x for a father getting schooled by his son.
You didn't mention any specifics about what you advised him nor about what he did with your mother.
While I'm sure there is a kernel in there, something doesn't add up.
Well, you're certainly right about that. Believe me, my dad resisted heavily at first. But my dad also spoke with his sister about this. My aunt is pretty close with my mom, but extremely close with my dad. She has a strange effect on him. He can be the most stubborn person in the world and he will listen to nobody except for her. I get the feeling my aunt has been at work here as well, based on the fact that my dad replied to me several times with "that's what your aunt said as well".
I think deep inside my dad knew something was wrong and he needed to make a change, and when both your sister who you're extremely close with and your own son are starting to say the same things to you about your marriage, you might actually start considering what they're saying. I don't find that hard to believe at all.
The advice I gave him, in short, is: don't counter a woman's emotional arguments with logical arguments. Listen to her emotions and her tone, not what she's literally saying. Agree and amplify if you think what she says is truly wrong or ridiculous. Reply what you understood from her back at her in your own words, putting emphasis on her feelings so she feels heard and loved, and when she says "why didn't you buy flowers for me on mother's day, don't you love me anymore?" DO NOT reply with "you're not even my mother. And of course I love you, you know that, I don't need to buy flowers for you to know that", instead try to find out why she's saying this. Find the emotion in the sentence, which is not feeling loved. So make her feel loved by doing something nice for her and show her that you care about her emotions.
(This post was last modified: 05-29-2014 07:10 PM by Mr. Calicoat.)
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| 05-29-2014 06:59 PM |
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Onto
True Player
    
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Joined: Jul 2013
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RE: I saved my parents' marriage with game.
(05-29-2014 09:10 PM)Valhalla Wrote: You told us the story, but you didn't tell us what sorts of stuff you told him. That's the important part.
What sort of knowledge did you share with him to turn things around?
He said it later on here:
"The advice I gave him, in short, is: don't counter a woman's emotional arguments with logical arguments. Listen to her emotions and her tone, not what she's literally saying. Agree and amplify if you think what she says is truly wrong or ridiculous. Reply what you understood from her back at her in your own words, putting emphasis on her feelings so she feels heard and loved, and when she says "why didn't you buy flowers for me on mother's day, don't you love me anymore?" DO NOT reply with "you're not even my mother. And of course I love you, you know that, I don't need to buy flowers for you to know that", instead try to find out why she's saying this. Find the emotion in the sentence, which is not feeling loved. "
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| 05-29-2014 09:13 PM |
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The following 1 user Likes Onto's post:1 user Likes Onto's post
Mr. Calicoat
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WestIndianArchie
Innovative Casanova
      
Posts: 7,818
Joined: Oct 2010
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RE: I saved my parents' marriage with game.
Great Story!
"The advice I gave him, in short, is: don't counter a woman's emotional arguments with logical arguments. Listen to her emotions and her tone, not what she's literally saying. Agree and amplify if you think what she says is truly wrong or ridiculous. Reply what you understood from her back at her in your own words, putting emphasis on her feelings so she feels heard and loved"
From an American perspective, this is 50% of what you hear on Dr. Phil or Oprah.
- "listen to her emotions and her tone" - is what gets conveyed to a nodding female audience.
The Red Pill parts are
- don't counter her emotional arguments with logical ones
- agree and amplify
- reply in her own words
- put emphasis on the feeling
^These are the "controversial" parts.
The feminist will say
- her emotional arguments are not EMOTIONAL, they're logical! Women are logical and rational!
or
- men don't consider the totality of the circumstances. (which includes her emotional side!)
With that in mind, be very careful in how you explain your solution to most of Man's problems. Because I've seen chicks latch onto particular words and phrases and go off on an irrational tangent...
And in terms of implementation, like Onto said, it's "counselor" game. But if your chick is any sort of savvy, she's going to feel "handled" if you ask her if you use typical counselor language
"How does that make you feel?"
"How did that make you feel when it happened"
Personally, I spot that sort of manipulation right away, and knowing that I'm not really being listened to, only makes me that much more angry.
This reminds me of an abandoned post of mine from last week.
WIA
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| 05-30-2014 06:44 PM |
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