Post: #1

Tonight, I caught up with a girl who I haven't spoken to in years.

A month ago, she regrettably drunk-texted me that she wanted to hook up, so although I lack interest, I figured I would hit her up. Since we both live with our families, it was my goal (logistics being the problem) to get her to a park. However, the temperature dipped and the park was overly sketchy in the dark, so we drove around for a bit and chatted. Tired as hell, I didn't give off the greatest vibe, angered at my wasting of gas and inability to find something to do in my boring town. I was soft-spoken and partially irritated. But she seemed to be enjoying herself, talking incessantly. However, there didn't seem to be an appropriate moment to go in for the make-out, though I should have done more to create one despite my tiredness. During our discussions, she mentioned her sexual history in college, and the embarrassing moments she has had while sleeping with other guys. I've been in situations before where girls I'm hitting on talk about sex. Am I in her friend zone or is she trying to get my sexual attention? We haven't hung for a couple years and she enjoys drunkenly telling me she wants to get with me. My plan is to wait until my house is empty, invite her over, and go for the bang. But I'm afraid to make a move on someone whose friends all know me, someone who I have known for years.

Have you been in similar situations?/What would you recommend doing?

-R

Post: #2

With friends that are the opposite sex, there's almost always some kind of sexual tension and one who would like more if the opportunity presented itself.

Sounds like you were hesitant to make a move because you didn't want to cross over the friendship line. She seems to be dropping hints though.

I'm guessing you weren't drinking because you were the driver. Invite her over and get some drinks in your system so you don't overthink the friend dynamic. If you have even some basic experience with women, I imagine things will just unfold on their own from there.

It doesn't always necessarily ruin the friendship either. Sometimes for a short time, but eventually things can go back to normal. I've had a lot of drunken hookups with girls that were supposed to be just friends, so speaking from experience here. Though every situation is obviously different.

EDIT: Wait, did you say she directly mentioned that she wants to get with you?

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #3

(05-13-2014 11:24 PM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  With friends that are the opposite sex, there's almost always some kind of sexual tension and one who would like more if the opportunity presented itself.

Sounds like you were hesitant to make a move because you didn't want to cross over the friendship line. She seems to be dropping hints though.

I'm guessing you weren't drinking because you were the driver. Invite her over and get some drinks in your system so you don't overthink the friend dynamic. If you have even some basic experience with women, I imagine things will just unfold on their own from there.

It doesn't always necessarily ruin the friendship either. Sometimes for a short time, but eventually things can go back to normal. I've had a lot of drunken hookups with girls that were supposed to be just friends, so speaking from experience here. Though every situation is obviously different.

EDIT: Wait, did you say she directly mentioned that she wants to get with you?

Thank you Beyond Borders, the advice is very much appreciated. She did say that in a text message a month or two back. She was blackout drunk and I was her go-to drunk text. Haven't heard from her for months prior. She said she liked me years back and that we should give it a chance. I told her I don't do serious, to which she replied, then we can just have sex sometimes.

Tonight, I wasn't drinking because she didn't want to drink. I think she's taking a break. We just drove around, talking shit. My only chance to make a move would have been when I parked the car in front of her house. But her lights were on. She did say when she left that we will hang soon at one of our houses. Oddly, though, the whole night, I felt drained of my energy, and the effort to achieve this piece didn't feel worth it. However, after leaving and pointing out the signs that she may want to hook up made me yearn for it.

Post: #4

^ Yeah, clearly she wants the d. She's said so on more than one occasion, and your refusal makes her want it even more.

The only thing holding you back from this one is yourself, so if you want it, just make your move.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #5

Being Tired is an excuse.

You were inside the car with her, you could have made out and fucked her inside the car.

She told you all her embaressing stories in college, im sure fucking in the car is nothing new to her.
The more you listen to a girls problem, the more they want to "Keep" you as a friend so you can continue
listening to the rest of her problems. They wont want to get rid of someone that listens to them.

Post: #6

She told you she wants to hookup.

Hookup with her.

Winners make it happen. Losers make excuses.

Know how many sluts I've banged in cars?

She's making it as simple as it gets: she's TELING you she wants to fuck.

Do it, take pics and report back.

Post: #7

I swear I've heard this before.

Now I'm not sure of the background between the two of you, but suffice to say I have a feeling you've missed the boat, mate.

As it happens this had happened to me at the end of last year -- with a much closer friend (I imagine the you of you aren't best or even close friends) that I'd developed a BFF-esque friendship with in Paris. She'd just broken up with her partner and got to that point after a series of cryptic texts throughout the night (she'd initially wanted to sleep over at mine that weekend). This, mind you, after my simpering beta orbiting clinginess that had resulted from her telling me on 4 separate occasions that she wasn't sexually attracted enough towards me or that she had only ever wanted friendship.
Anyway, logistics and laziness on my part (she had work that Sunday morning) meant that by the time I got back to her, she'd gotten cold feet, eventually apologised for being to forward with me and went ahead with our catch up at this socialist function. Tried bouncing back to mine after but she excused herself saying she'd feel cheap if it came across as premeditated. (That's what slut-shaming does for you cats. :/)

Eventually we made out a couple of weeks later; I guess the mood was there in a summer sunset by the beach, but still had reservations about bouncing back to my dad's close by.
Another chance over New Year's Eve was cockblocked by her girlfriend.
Makeout part 2 occurred at a festival shortly after however she's since got back together with her ex. I guess Verdi was right -- La donna è mobile.

Moral of my massive sob-drama is = move fast. Strike while the iron is hot because often they aren't in some rational headspace when it happens.

Post: #8

How does that work if both of you live with your parents? Do you sit down and tell your parents, "look I am an adult and have needs, I am bringing over a girl tomorrow and we will try to keep the noise down. Please try to respect my privacy as much as possible" Or do you just try for a time when either your parents are out, or her parents are out? It shouldn't be that difficult.

Your dad will be proud on some level. I can tell my dad is proud of the girls I fuck(I never fucked any girls in his house when I was younger or anything though). My mom, I guess she would be cool if I brought a chick into her house, but really both my parents are just thrilled to see me anyways because I am 37 and only see them once or twice a year around the holidays. If you live with your parents and see them every day, obviously, you have to live by their rules, it is their house after all.

And yes, like the others are saying, she flat out told you she wants to fuck you. Just work out the logistics and quit being a pussy. You can do it!

Post: #9

Whip it out. My money's on she'll start blowing you.

Post: #10

Thanks, guys. Tiredness is a shitty excuse. I should see her next week. McQueen, if I don't get photographic pictures, I'll draw some for you.

Post: #11

Next week is giving her time and excuses to find something else. She has already laid out her college riding career.

Post: #12

@JWLZG and @Foolsgo1d --Part of the reason I think I have time is because this girl dug me since we were 16-17. I'm 21 now. I wouldn't have considered screwing her (6), but I'm contemplating now that she sent those drunken texts and now that I'm on the forum. I'll go for it.

Post: #13

I was in this situation (not old friends, but acquaintances through friends for the last couple years). She wants you. She's not getting dick right now and you're her #1. Step up to the plate and be a man. Think of all those dudes who can't even get laid, much less by a chic who WANTS their D. Luck and preparation have met, enjoy it.

My girl asked me out to a movie. Post movie, we were talking about shit in the parking lot: Her: "what are you thinking about?" Me: "How you'd be nice to make out with." Convo proceeded where I stated, honestly, how this stuff tends to screw up friendships. She loved that shit, knowing I had my hesitations because of the friendship and because I don't want to live here forever. I'm 31, she's 28, this shit happened in a movie theater parking lot. Park the car on a back road somewhere and say what you're thinking.

We've now been banging off and on since then, ever since she practically threw herself at me.

Post: #14

Is she attractive to you when you're not wearing beer goggles?

Post: #15

@Rutting Elephant I wouldn't have hit it back in high school, but now I would. One of my biggest fears is her telling her friends, which will in turn tell mine. That would probably embarrass me. My town is bitchy and prissy like that. But I figure, at least one buddy would give me props

And @heavy, I feel you and will pursue. Thanks.

Post: #16

Give her the dick dude, I can't count the times that a woman from my past has broken a dry spell for me in the most enjoyable way. I know what your talking about in the small town atmosphere but don't let the talk of small minds keep you from getting laid. You never know what some advertising might do for your sex life.

Post: #17

I think at 21 you need to be more assertive here. There is almost a 100% chance that she will go for it. Also come on, surely you can bring a girl home with your parents in?
Invite her over to watch a movie. As soon as she enters your room lie on your bed and wave her over. Kiss her straight away and off you go. Put ur finger to her lips to motion to be quiet. Have a giggle. Then let it all break loose. She will find it kinkier with ur parents in the house. From entering ur bedroom to clothes off should take no more than 1 or two minutes.

In the unlikely event that she does not go for it just put on the movie and take ur time. Play for a mid movie slow blow job instead.

In the extremely unlikely event that neither happens ask her to never lead you on again and that you will be in touch at some point in the future. Add her to ur drunk text list.

Post: #18

(05-14-2014 09:23 AM)Cccc Wrote:  I think at 21 you need to be more assertive here. There is almost a 100% chance that she will go for it. Also come on, surely you can bring a girl home with your parents in?

It really depends on how conservative and uptight his folks are. You'd be surprised at what some parents think of that even to their 23 year old sons; I know that was a factor in my moving out. I would kill to have parents like eradicator's.

(05-14-2014 07:50 AM)Renberg Wrote:  [...] this girl dug me since we were 16-17. I'm 21 now. I wouldn't have considered screwing her (6), but I'm contemplating now that she sent those drunken texts and now that I'm on the forum. I'll go for it.

I've actually had at least 3 friends (one more of an acquaintance) express interest in me around that age that I dismissed for that very same reason and the third due to cold feet (8). Given those days of large betatude I wasn't exactly in a position to be picky.

She's clearly not enough of a troll for you to dismiss her outright and given there's enough distance between you both that would preclude any sort of fallout, go for it.

And yeah, try to cut through the mitigating factors as much as possible. I know I've let them fuck up many of my chances myself.

Incredibly, not 2 hours after I posted the above, I got a text from that friend to the effect that she'd broken up again. She's asked to stay over after my housewarming so it's déjà vu now. Mind you I'm taking a considerable risk waiting it out until then (Saturday) so I'm not sure to just keep stoking her via text exchanges.

Post: #19

In terms of my parents, they're pretty cool folks. But, they're conservative when it comes to women mainly because I have younger siblings in the house. But, I'm not going to use this as an excuse and attempt to work around it.

@JWLZG, best of luck to you and your repeat. Also, @Bobco, glad you know where I stand. The general consensus is to make it happen and that I will. I'll come up with something.

Post: #20

Text her and ask her to the movies. Tell her you want to book back row tickets with a wink. You will know from her reply. Five minutes in take her hand and put it on ur dick. Let her rub it for half an hour. Then lean over and tell her that you can't focus on the movie and you want to leave. Then bathroom, your car, park or a cheap hotel is your choice.

Post: #21

If you are sleeping with a friend it means you are playing for the other team because guy's and girls can't really be friends..

Post: #22

Soup, I appreciate the concern. It was more of a friendship in high school. Now I'm trying to turn it into a ... fuckship.

Post: #23

Let me ask you this.. are you.. thinking you will ruin the friendship.. by fucking her ? You won't.

Just wasn't sure how close you were in your "friendship." It could make things complicated and cumbersome later the closer you are.

Post: #24

(05-14-2014 06:44 PM)Cobra Wrote:  Let me ask you this.. are you.. thinking you will ruin the friendship.. by fucking her ? You won't.

Just wasn't sure how close you were in your "friendship." It could make things complicated and cumbersome later the closer you are.

We used to be pretty close 3-4 years back. Then we both went to college. She's always faded from my life when I had a girlfriend, and I know all signs point to FUCK. In contrast, it is kind of weird to pull the moves on a girl you used to talk to about random shit in your HS history class.

Post: #25

(05-14-2014 06:48 PM)Renberg Wrote:  We used to be pretty close 3-4 years back. Then we both went to college. She's always faded from my life when I had a girlfriend, and I know all signs point to FUCK. In contrast, it is kind of weird to pull the moves on a girl you used to talk to about random shit in your HS history class.

NO, it's not. What's weird is you having a girl THAT YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO practically taking your pants off and sucking your dick of her own volition and you're driving around being frustrated that you're tired and there's "nothing to do in my town" and wondering "what others will think" instead of figuring out a place you can drive to that's remote/secluded with a bottle of wine to share with her and a few condoms in your back pocket. Bonus, she will think it's romantic or hot to be fucking somewhere not in your parents house (because seriously, what's romantic or hot about boning with your parents around?).

I can't think of a single shithole town I've been to that I couldn't find a place to fuck in if a girl was throwing herself at me. I'm assuming you are broke and you can't just use a cheap motel room or a room from AirBnB.