Post: #1

Hi all, first I'm posting this on my brother's account who introduced me to this site recently and its been a great help reading all the helpful information over the last few months, everytime the 1st of the month comes around I always forget to register, anyway thanks for all the great info here as its really helped me, anyway I have a problem.

I'll try to make this short, I'm 19 and around 3 months ago I lost my virginity to a girl I met online (I was 18 at the time) we had sex on the first day of meeting. I do find her attractive but not super attractive, she is maybe a 6.5 but it was my first time and my standards aren't especially high.

A few months on I've still only banged this one girl (I got to kissing and touching with another btw) I've banged her maybe 20 times and I just don't really enjoy it and often lose my erection after a few minutes of sex and I have to jerk off for a few minutes to get hard again.
When we are kissing and touching I am rock hard so its not that I cant get hard for her, I am so turned on to the point of pre cum in my pants but yet after a few minutes of sex I loose my hard on, why? I also can never cum from sex, I have had sex with her without a condom everytime and I never even get close to cumming, the same when she blows me, I just don't enjoy it, any advice as its really making me lose motivation to meet new women and even have sex anymore because it just isn't that great for me at all.

Post: #2

How do you feel about yourself? Are you mindfucking yourself to impotency?

Post: #3

Assuming you fap, the "death grip" is to be avoided. Dan Savage has commented often on it, for example:
You'll have to swear off the death grip forever... if you want your dick to respond to more subtle sensations.

Post: #4

Try NoFap

Post: #5

You're probably really nervous. The girl I lost my virginity to was way out of my league and I had similar problems - I could get rock hard and fuck, but I was just unable to cum with her no matter how hard I tried. I've also been with a girl multiple times and just couldn't get it up with her. In both situations I was stuck in my head - I was analyzing every little bit, trying to make it perfect, and trying to "will" myself to get a boner/cum that it ended up having the absolute reverse effect. Just relax, don't stress too much about it, and close your eyes and just focus on the sensation.

Post: #6

Yea, you probably have a combination of too much masturbation and anxiety.

Trust me...you like sex. You just need to get more comfortable with both yourself and then your partner.

Post: #7

How much do you watch porn?

Post: #8

Couldn't resist

Post: #9

(01-02-2014 09:02 PM)_Samo_ Wrote:  I've banged her maybe 20 times and I just don't really enjoy it and often lose my erection after a few minutes of sex

Find a girl you really like, and your dick will normally like her too and stay hard.

Thing is, sex is naturally pleasurable, but it can take time to get really good at being able to make your partner or yourself experience the possibilities of that pleasure.

Post: #10

A few things, I don't feel anxious or nervous to "perform" during sex.
I probably masturbated too often in the past and I realised that could be one of the problems, but I've gone weeks without jerking off before meet the girl and it's still the same.
I don't know if it's relevant but I was masturbating once a day or maybe 5/7 days a week but during the periods I'm seeing the girl (she lives a few hours away and we meet when I'm on vacation in her city) I don't masturbate.
I watched porn often too but the last months I've tried to limit how much I watch, but again I wasn't watching it more than once every 2 days.
Has anyone had any similar experience with this? Surely if I didn't find her attractive I wouldn't be so turned on until I'm inside her?

Post: #11

Hey man.

I had a problem a few months ago, where I couldn't get it up when trying to bang a girl... I posted on here and got some good tips.

Check it out.

Particularly the stuff from Vincent.

My point is, you need a period where you don't do shit.

Let your body reset itself and you'll be all good.

I had a slightly different problem to you, but I believe the fix will be the same.

It won't feel as though it is getting you back to the norm.

But trust me.

Eventually you will want to ravage this girl and shoot in every hole.

Let us know how it goes.

Chris

Post: #12

(01-03-2014 09:36 AM)PompeyChris Wrote:  My point is, you need a period where you don't do shit.

Let your body reset itself and you'll be all good.

This is a very good point. There was a period of time where I had a lot of trouble getting to sleep and staying asleep, and no matter what I did I couldn't get it up. If you're overly tired or stressed or even sick your brain will tell your dick to take it easy. Why's that? Because sex is the biological means to procreate. If you aren't at 100% health then you have a chance of passing on bad sperm that could produce weak offspring. So long story short, get well-rested and see what happens. If you have stress then try and manage it.

Post: #13

I have the same problem. its masturbation for me. Im done with it for awhile

Post: #14

Sex is overrated.

Focus on money and overall life satisfaction.

Sex will always be there when you want to explore it.

We all have different level of sexual need.

When you are ready, sex will be ready for you. There is no rush.

Post: #15

(01-05-2014 04:21 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  Sex is overrated.

Focus on money and overall life satisfaction.

Sex will always be there when you want to explore it.

We all have different level of sexual need.

When you are ready, sex will be ready for you. There is no rush.

This is true.

Probably the best words spoken on the thread.

Make your goal the focus.

Develop your career, save your money, whatever...

Fanny is easy to come by when you're not searching for it.

Post: #16

Porn can mess up the way you think about what sex should be like and how you perform in the act. For an inexperienced guy (Dont' take that as a knock please), you may have performed without knowing the way you saw a male porn actor bang a a woman but in reality most of the time they are not enjoying it themselves because in real life most people don''t have sex like that. I use to have the same problem you had with not orgasaming but I promise once you break that wall and do Cum you'll never go back unless for other reasons like you are to hammered.