Post: #1

Today I saw this very attractive blonde on my subway ride back home. Logistics were bad. She was wearing headphones and I was decently far away from her (so I couldn't approach without giving away my intentions- not such a good idea in that environment).

I therefore needed to wait and see if she would get off at my stop, which she did. Only way to go from there would be direct. I did make moves in that direction, but it's still a big leap for me to take at this stage in my game, especially if she's got headphones on.

Overall, I can certainly say my sexual desire was killing the anxiety for the most part and I felt it dissolving, but it just seemed like a bad situation for a beginner. She didn't really seem that open either.

Excuses yes, but overall I can't feel terrible about not making this approach. I do however want to learn from the experience.

So how would you more experienced guys have handled this? Or would you have assessed it the way I did and not approach?

Edit: Talked about it in greater depth on my personal blog if you're interested.

Post: #2

Look at it this way: there's always an excuse to talk to someone. Bump into her and apologize if you have to. Ask what she's listening to. You're Christmas shopping for your sister, where did she get that coat? Etc, etc, etc.


Better to regret the approaches you did than the ones you didn't.

Post: #3

redacted

Post: #4

First, read day bang.

If you want to neg, then say "wearing headphones is a great way to avoid talking to people" but I would still open with tapping her on the shoulder and saying hello how are you, what are you listening to?"

Post: #5

You'll never know unless you make the approach if it would have failed or not. Obviously.

Generally I'd be more apt to approach if a girl gave me some kind of hint she thought I was attractive...etc. But on a bus, train, airplane... could be different. She could have been in her own world with a book, music or whatever so it may not mean anything if she's not checking you out.

On a bus, train etc., I actually like these for day approaching because you have a captive audience. They're not walking on the street, they're not in a busy club with distractions.... Better yet if they're doing something. Listening to music... "What are you listening to?" Book..."What are you reading...how it is..?" Use these props to get your conversation going. As you get better, you'll figure out if she's into you.

Check this out, http://www.rooshv.com/how-to-deal-with-approach-anxiety and you'd probably benefit from Roosh's Day Bang book.

Young players: I know this is the age of quick answers and google searches, but trust me when I say you should also read, learn, and experience. There's already a lot of good info on here. It's hard to give a solid answer on some of these things, because of all the variables. Keep approaching...That's the fastest and best thing you can do to improve your game. Read up on the basics on here and just keep approaching.

Post: #6

Always approach. The more you do the easier itll get. Youve got no shot if you say nothing.

Post: #7

(12-11-2013 07:13 PM)CTking Wrote:  Always approach. The more you do the easier itll get. Youve got no shot if you say nothing.

Agreed!

I'm not saying you should be on some RSD steez and approach anything in a skirt, but in general you need to know what happens with impossible situations.

And not what necessarily happens with the girl. I mean that part is important, vitally important.

But one of the under-discussed parts of the game is not what you say to the girl - but how you handle the stress of not really knowing what is going to happen.

That's the main thing that holds people back, they don't know what's going to happen.

But doing it a bunch, having that Terabyte of stored memories how things typically happen - that's the foundation of your confidence in your game

Can you react? How do you handle yourself under pressure?
Can you keep your adrenalin, your flight response, in check?

Focusing on that aspect - and the external parts, what you say, your "tonality" (why don't these mf'ers just say TONE), your body language, your reactions, wittiness - all that stuff falls into place when you get control of your faculties.

WIA

Post: #8

"Last subway number I pulled was weekend, me dressed up, her not headphoned."

^And once again Suit Game kicks ass.

Being dressed to kill will get players opened, which cuts your work in half.

Guaranteed.

Post: #9

Do you guys just wear your suits everywhere, at all times of the day no matter what?

I just can't see it being congruent with my lifestyle and path except for nights out and clubs etc. I can't really see myself going suited up to Walgreens to get some juice.

Post: #10

(12-13-2013 06:07 PM)AfgScarface Wrote:  Do you guys just wear your suits everywhere, at all times of the day no matter what?

I just can't see it being congruent with my lifestyle and path except for nights out and clubs etc. I can't really see myself going suited up to Walgreens to get some juice.

WTF? I don't even..........

Post: #11

This works more than you think it would.

Post: #12

(12-13-2013 09:55 PM)MrXY Wrote:  

(12-13-2013 06:07 PM)AfgScarface Wrote:  Do you guys just wear your suits everywhere, at all times of the day no matter what?

I just can't see it being congruent with my lifestyle and path except for nights out and clubs etc. I can't really see myself going suited up to Walgreens to get some juice.

WTF? I don't even..........

I feel like its a fair question. I'm an artist and have long hair, I just don't buy that it would have the same effect on me considering my background and vibe. McQueen is a club promoter and G supposedly moves keys and shit. A custom suit is the "uniform" for their respective lifestyles.

I don't really see a "starving artist" being congruent with this look, unless I happen to be "on the town" that night.

When I was younger and worked in a high-end retail clothing store I had to be suited up everyday. Not custom fitted, but wearing the store's off the rack shit and whatnot. I remember the questions from people throughout the day starting to get annoying. (where are you going?)

I guess my lifestyle in particular is too casual, but it seems to work for other people. If I was an investment banker or LA promoter id be singing a completely different tune.

Post: #13

What if she was wearing headphones?

That shouldn't stop you.

If i were you i would be like:

''hey how you doing? I saw you walking down and I thought I should say hello..I just moved around here, my name is xxxx'''


I never get shot down after this..even if she is not interested, if you introduced yourself well (with confidence and a strong masculine smile), you should be able to build some rapport.

Post: #14

I think women are actually interested by and attracted to contrasts and incongruencies, like the suited guy on the motorcycle. In your case, it would be the suited guy with long hair who is an artist.

They love trying to figure out puzzles. If nothing else,it's a good conversation starter

Post: #15

I like Pitt's recommendation. Just go up to her and approach, and if you fuck it up...oh we'll it was a learning experience and you can move on to the next one.

Unfortunately by not approaching, you will never see her again. If you have some AA like last missed opportunity, just rip a few shots, and get the approach in.

Sometimes people say don't use alcohol as a crutch. F that noise, booze is my homeboy.

Post: #16

(12-13-2013 06:07 PM)AfgScarface Wrote:  Do you guys just wear your suits everywhere, at all times of the day no matter what?

I just can't see it being congruent with my lifestyle and path except for nights out and clubs etc. I can't really see myself going suited up to Walgreens to get some juice.

I've reached that point where I suit up for everything except exercising. So yes, I'd suit up in order to get some juice.

It opens doors. People in general are much nicer to men in suits. I don't pretend I understand why, but I don't see why I should deny myself that power.

Post: #17

Quote:I feel like its a fair question. I'm an artist and have long hair, I just don't buy that it would have the same effect on me considering my background and vibe. McQueen is a club promoter and G supposedly moves keys and shit. A custom suit is the "uniform" for their respective lifestyles.

I don't really see a "starving artist" being congruent with this look, unless I happen to be "on the town" that night.

When I was younger and worked in a high-end retail clothing store I had to be suited up everyday. Not custom fitted, but wearing the store's off the rack shit and whatnot. I remember the questions from people throughout the day starting to get annoying. (where are you going?)

I guess my lifestyle in particular is too casual, but it seems to work for other people. If I was an investment banker or LA promoter id be singing a completely different tune.

Au contraire!- that's exactly why suiting up would be a great play for you

These articles explain why:

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2010/05/1...t-is-king/ and http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2010/06/0...inversion/

Post: #18

(12-16-2013 04:36 AM)Kikz Wrote:  


This works more than you think it would.

Do you throw an ok before you cold approach?

Post: #19

(12-16-2013 10:25 PM)Thomas the Rhymer Wrote:  

(12-13-2013 06:07 PM)AfgScarface Wrote:  Do you guys just wear your suits everywhere, at all times of the day no matter what?

I just can't see it being congruent with my lifestyle and path except for nights out and clubs etc. I can't really see myself going suited up to Walgreens to get some juice.

I've reached that point where I suit up for everything except exercising. So yes, I'd suit up in order to get some juice.

It opens doors. People in general are much nicer to men in suits. I don't pretend I understand why, but I don't see why I should deny myself that power.

(12-16-2013 10:48 PM)MrXY Wrote:  

Quote:I feel like its a fair question. I'm an artist and have long hair, I just don't buy that it would have the same effect on me considering my background and vibe. McQueen is a club promoter and G supposedly moves keys and shit. A custom suit is the "uniform" for their respective lifestyles.

I don't really see a "starving artist" being congruent with this look, unless I happen to be "on the town" that night.

When I was younger and worked in a high-end retail clothing store I had to be suited up everyday. Not custom fitted, but wearing the store's off the rack shit and whatnot. I remember the questions from people throughout the day starting to get annoying. (where are you going?)

I guess my lifestyle in particular is too casual, but it seems to work for other people. If I was an investment banker or LA promoter id be singing a completely different tune.

Au contraire!- that's exactly why suiting up would be a great play for you

These articles explain why:

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2010/05/1...t-is-king/ and http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2010/06/0...inversion/

hmmm contrast, you say?

I may just have to give it a shot.

I can see people treating you completely different with the suit.

Post: #20

I would have run my normal "Headphones Approach" strategy..

Eye contact and smile - Like saying "hi" without speaking. If she smiles back, go open her. If not, you can still walk over and verbally say "hello".

Be a little louder - Sometimes the volume on their headphones is very low. I have opened girls wearing headphones and they answered me without hesitation. I don't even think they had the thing turned on.

Fake it - Move your mouth like you are saying something, but don't actually make a sound. Does that make sense? Just "mouth" it, pretend to say something. Often times, they will take off their headphones and say "what", or "were you talking to me", or "excuse me". This is a good test to see if she is really listening to something or not.

The shoulder/arm tap - Risky, but ballsy. She has to respect your confidence for doing this, but it could scare her if you're not careful. Don't do it from behind her. I like to use it when she is walking past me in the same direction. Probably should be your last option.

There is a time for all of these. Sometimes I use more then one in a single approach. Just ignore the headphones and open her gently.

I think they respect the fact that I'm not intimidated by the phones. They know most guys are scared away by them. It a good opportunity to show them that you are different from other guys