Post: #1

So it looks like I'll be finally managing my first harem. 2 so far, and I'm finally starting to break past the 'already got one' barrier for additional approaches. Barring a major swerve coming up, things are looking optimistic for that and I'm really happy to finally have achieved this lofty level of playerdom. Thanks to Roosh and the forum for making this all possible. Couldn't have done it without the collected wisdom of the superstars here.

Let's use this thread to help the newbies such as myself, and to discuss harem management techniques in general.

Post: #2

Congrats!

How did you put the group together and why are they comfortable being in a harem?
What was your approach?

Post: #3

Ah, they're sorta separate. I haven't introduced them. Is that a requirement? I just presumed it to mean having a stable of females that you regularly had sexual access to. Also, is loyalty to your cock a requirement?

One knows of the other, and is totally cool with things. The other's in the dark, but has loosely given me carte blanche to carry on. None of the relationships are intended to be permanent.

I'm probably in the 'reveal too much' category at this point, due to my brutal honesty and good rapport with the girls. (One asked me on our date before we hooked up, 'when was the last time you had sex?' 'This morning.' Heh.)

Post: #4

(10-07-2013 03:52 AM)aphelion Wrote:  I just presumed it to mean having a stable of females that you regularly had sexual access to. Also, is loyalty to your cock a requirement?

IMHO this would be friends with benefits, fuck buddies, ...

(10-07-2013 03:52 AM)aphelion Wrote:  One knows of the other, and is totally cool with things. The other's in the dark, but has loosely given me carte blanche to carry on. None of the relationships are intended to be permanent.

or MLTR or something of that kind

A Harem means that you're the center of the social circle and you run around in public with a “dozen” girls like Hugh Heffner.

Post: #5

(10-07-2013 04:16 AM)AmoAsBundas Wrote:  

(10-07-2013 03:52 AM)aphelion Wrote:  I just presumed it to mean having a stable of females that you regularly had sexual access to. Also, is loyalty to your cock a requirement?

IMHO this would be friends with benefits, fuck buddies, ...

(10-07-2013 03:52 AM)aphelion Wrote:  One knows of the other, and is totally cool with things. The other's in the dark, but has loosely given me carte blanche to carry on. None of the relationships are intended to be permanent.

or MLTR or something of that kind

A Harem means that you're the center of the social circle and you run around in public with a “dozen” girls like Hugh Heffner.

No, it doesn't.

Around here, harem just means more than like two girls. You don't need all that extra hoopla.

Post: #6

(10-07-2013 04:34 AM)soup Wrote:  No, it doesn't.

Around here, harem just means more than like two girls. You don't need all that extra hoopla.

Oh, didn't know ... then I'll take it back

Post: #7

I read on a red pill blog there are two types of harem and I thnk its quite accurate

A soft harem is when the girls that are part of your "harem" sleep with other guys along with yourself.
A royal harem is when the girls that are a part of your "harem" only sleep with you.

Post: #8

Can you write manual on creating a haram or keeping girls in your rotation?

Post: #9

(10-07-2013 09:47 AM)Videl Wrote:  Can you write manual on creating a haram or keeping girls in your rotation?

The idea is that you create a social circle based on the passion and interest of the women that you're interested in, so that they enjoy being part of the social circle. The purpose of the social circle isn't to get girls and it's not about you, it's to add value to passion of the women (like business networking). The social circle gives them e.g. possibilities to advance their career in modeling.
Get women to invite other women. The rest is game.

Hope this is understandable.

Post: #10

(10-07-2013 01:52 AM)aphelion Wrote:  So it looks like I'll be finally managing my first harem. 2 so far,

Side topic:

How many girls constitute a "Harem"?

I know there are some history heads on here.

Post: #11

I would say 3 or 4 but 4 i think 4 is back breaking work if you want to see all of them every week. I did 4 for last two weeks and just scheduling was a nightmare. Like what night to give to who and keeping them ranked so fri and sat night go to the top ranked ones. And i was trying to work in a new date or so in between too to upgrade if possible.

Post: #12

Amos your post is a bit laughable and trollish. Who cares about advancing their careers and all that stuff? That's not your job. You sound like a girl.

Post: #13

(10-07-2013 10:39 AM)soup Wrote:  Amos your post is a bit laughable and trollish. Who cares about advancing their careers and all that stuff? That's not your job. You sound like a girl.

Advancing their career was just an example to illustrate my point. Especially since my English is not always the best. If I want to have them in rotation who cares about their business.
What I meant was the Hugh Heffner thing.
Then give me your idea of creating a Hugh Heffner entourage.

Post: #14

If you see them more than once every 7 days or twice every 10 days, it starts sliding into relationship territory. Not a "rule" per say, but definetely a pattern I saw.

Keep your general costs down, because having more than 3-4 girls on the pay-roll, really balloons your lifestyle costs. Unless you are loaded...

Don't forget to keep hunting. Harem chicks have a tendency to drop off the map for a multitude of reasons (want a BF, bored, etc)

Try to keep girls in separate regions and take them out to separate areas. Corollary is to not take them to your best "hunting spots". Get to know their patterns and avoid them when going out.

As f-cked up as this sounds, I only seriously date girls who are on a timeline. My last chick told me she was leaving in 1.5 months to Japan. Dived into a more serious relationship. Saw her 2-3x/week and its was great, but the need to hunt for new chicks grows more deafeningly loud every week than goes by. I was both happy and sad when she left. Terrible, I know.

Don't forget to take care of yourself. A big harem saps a lot of other aspects of your life. Its takes serious discipline to manage them. Don't neglect hanging out occasionally w/your friends, the gym, and healthy eating habits. All 3 are important to a good mood and mentality.

Try not to get more than 3-4 regular girls in the harem. I had a harem of 6 girls w/some sidepieces and it was overload for me. I had to drop some girls.

Girls generally come in 3 categories-
1) Fun, party animals/ Nightlife junkies- keep these to 2nd tier places in your harem. They are most flakey, drop off the map for no reason, give you loads of drama, but sex is pretty good. These girls are good to leverage to better connections and to hook your boys up w/quality ass (her friends)

2) Chick who wants a BF- expect this to slowly devolve into a war of wills. Who can get who to do what. Shell take the harem life for about 2-3 months then demand more. Ill usually drop these girls or cut them down to once every 2-3 weeks. Usually, theyll stop seeing me, and restart the harem position after attempting to find a BF. Occasionally theyll get "beta" BFs and continue banging me out of sheer boredom.

3) Quality chicks (generally same as category 2, but chicks who are REALLY into you)- This is a tough category. This type of girl you need to handle gently. Obfuscation and blaming "outside causes" will help w/this one. I usually drop hints that I am not a 1-guy, 1 girl type. Treat her well, explain to her that you like her a lot, bang her good. Usually between the ages of 22 to 26. Very often they are sexuallly inexperienced and/or live w/family. Don't play mind games w/her. Give the truth to her in honey-softness instead of brute honesty. For me, these girls are usually Asian or small-town white girls

Post: #15

(10-07-2013 10:52 AM)DVY Wrote:  As f-cked up as this sounds, I only seriously date girls who are on a timeline.

This is the beauty of living in a "Tourist Heavy" enviornment.

You get fresh "Short Term-Harem" leads all the time.

This is something I have invented lately like I did the "Mini-Relationship".

I anticipate this concept is also going to take the world by storm.

The "Short Term Harem". Really advanced stuff.

Post: #16

Generally speaking, it's not a harem unless they all live together under the same roof.

If you are fucking one chick on the west side of town and another chick on the east side of town, you don't have a harem, you are just fucking two girls.

A harem knows each other, lives together, and works together to keep their man happy.

Post: #17

(10-07-2013 10:25 AM)AmoAsBundas Wrote:  

(10-07-2013 09:47 AM)Videl Wrote:  Can you write manual on creating a haram or keeping girls in your rotation?

The idea is that you create a social circle based on the passion and interest of the women that you're interested in, so that they enjoy being part of the social circle. The purpose of the social circle isn't to get girls and it's not about you, it's to add value to passion of the women (like business networking). The social circle gives them e.g. possibilities to advance their career in modeling.
Get women to invite other women. The rest is game.

Hope this is understandable.

Nope.

Post: #18

An actual harem is one hell of a thing to have. What players here are actually keeping several women under one roof? That's some shit...

Ottoman harems were apparently made of dozens of women. If you're keeping at least 20 chicks on lockdown, mad props. Sultan Game doesn't get enough props here.

Post: #19

DVY busts it down pretty good.

Through most of university I had 2-3 girls on the go at any one time.

1) have each girl fill a different role in your lifestyle. I usually had one "girlfriend" material girl (sometimes sliding into oneitis territory, ha). one steady (usually average looking) fuck buddy who I would just meet purely for sex. and depending on things a girl for partying with. This does 3 things: 1) variety 2) subtly gives girls their "place" in your life. my steady fuck buddy was usually average looking and thus she was dating up, she will hamster away until she is happy just being used for sex etc. 3) reduces chances of getting "caught" I lived in the same building as my "girlfriend" girl all third year university. I brought girls over infrequently because I was a pussy afraid of getting caught. one time this lead to the most epic cockblock of my life, but thats another story.

2) don't worry about being "caught" you are enjoying multiple girls and aren't promising anything to any of them. Usually they will have a sneaking suspicion, but play your cards right and she will be thinking "why am I not good enough for him to just want me" instead of "that fucking asshole, I deserve better than to be 'cheated' on"

Post: #20

(10-07-2013 12:41 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  Generally speaking, it's not a harem unless they all live together under the same roof.

If you are fucking one chick on the west side of town and another chick on the east side of town, you don't have a harem, you are just fucking two girls.

A harem knows each other, lives together, and works together to keep their man happy.

Once again, Gio on point.

Along this train of thought, a "modern" stripped down version of this could be visiting a house where you have multiple roommates on lock.

Or sisters (I never had the opportunity to make it a regular thing, but have hooked up/fooled around with multiple sister pairs, good times).

Post: #21

I think rotating two girls counts as a soft harem for sure. I've done before and it's really enjoyable.

There's seven days in a week so you really only have time for a finite number of women. Even if you are a trust fund kid living some sort of pseudo tucker max lifestyle you won't have time for more then two different girls a day and that's pretty extreme for an average guy.

I'd say to break it into days. Give one day to each of the regulars up to three and then a fourth day for irregulars. If you get into some sort of long term thing then give her the remaining days and give excuses why you aren't available the rest. All theory though as I haven't really gone this far.

I think that it's important like previously mentioned to not let your life get dull because the girls are consuming all your time. They will disappear for no explanation. Probably all at once and you'll be left with nothing to do. So if you go to yoga on Tuesdays and Thursdays and go to the gym Mon, Wed, Fri then keep doing that. Don't let it fall by the way side.

Time really is the limiting factor for women.