Post: #1

Hello All:

I am a 20 year college football player who goes to school in NY. Recently, this younger girl that I had known the last year and a half started to smile and say hi to me (out of the blue). This began about one month ago. Two weeks ago, I walked into the cafe alone and she was sitting at a table with one of her friends. I sat down at her table and her eyes lit up. I began talking to her and her friends. She asked me lots of questions about what I did the night before, what I would be doing today, etc. I finished my breakfast and left her and her friend behind. This weekend, I came by the cafe again and sat down w/ my teammates and she was at the table. We all talked and the guys left but she stayed behind. She asked me where I would be living on campus next year and I told her the house. Her eyes light up and she said that was where she would be living also.

Her eyes got my attention and I waited about 3 more minutes. I then proceeded to ask her on a date with me to go on the school trip to Six Flags Great Adventure. I told her that I have not been there since I was 14 and she seems very excited. So anyway today I go to college activities and ask to buy tickets. They would not sell me any unless the girl was with me (security reasons). So I did not have her phone number so I sent her an email. My school email system is just first name.last name1 (ej [email protected]) so I guessed her email address and I was right. She wrote back in a timely fashion. I will show you my email and her response.

My email
Hey Girl's Name :

I stopped by college activities today and asked to buy two tickets for the upcoming Six Flags trip on Saturday, 4/30. The receptionist said that each student had to be present with a student ID when buying their ticket. In order to buy the tickets we both need to be at college activities with our IDs ready. If you get back to me before four, we could walk over to college activities and buy over tickets. If not, we can buy them tomorrow. Let me know when you can go over to college activities. My cell is (xxx) xxx-xxxx. Have a good rest of the day!

My Name

Her response
Hey my name!

That was really nice of you to remember!! I was just checking my schedule to make sure that I was free that day and unfortunately I have to go to the dress rehearsal for the fashion show. I'm sorry. On Saturday and Sunday, they do a run through and I have to be present for up to 3 hours on that day. I'm really sorry!! I definitely wanted to go, I'm so disappointed. Thanks again, though!!!

My question to you guys is: 1) has she changed her mind about going out on a date w/ me and 2) should I respond.

Here is my tentative response (have not sent it):

Hey name:

Do not worry about it. Everyone has commitments that they need to honor. Have fun at the fashion show rehearsal. We will try again after break to do something together. If I do not see you before Thursday, have a Happy Easter with your family!

My name

Any comments or suggestions will be greatly appreciated. I have only been on one date w/ another woman and turned sour. I went out to a club twice this year and almost got a girl back to my room. I feel that I am at a disadvantage because I am inexperienced with women. Let me know what you guys because I am relatively optimistic about my future prospects. Once I get laid, I know that the momentum will carry me forward. Thank you very much.

Post: #2

Hey dude, everybody's gotta start somewhere, good work on the front end.

A few tips from my perspective:
- grab the number when you were initially chatting to her

- your emails are waay too wordy, you can say everything in a sentences, and you gave her too many options. I would have shortened this:

Quote:I stopped by college activities today and asked to buy two tickets for the upcoming Six Flags trip on Saturday, 4/30. The receptionist said that each student had to be present with a student ID when buying their ticket. In order to buy the tickets we both need to be at college activities with our IDs ready. If you get back to me before four, we could walk over to college activities and buy over tickets. If not, we can buy them tomorrow. Let me know when you can go over to college activities. My cell is (xxx) xxx-xxxx. Have a good rest of the day!

to this:
hey it's tj. come hang out.
(xxx) xxx-xxxx

(from there you just take her to the office with you)
- you don't have to frame it as a date it puts a lot of expectations down. just say come hang out.
- Also I thought that she got a bit freaked out that you knew her email, so she flaked (IMO)

I'm 20 too so I know your struggle. I think recovery is very possible but you need to give her a bit of space and let her contact you when she's ready to hang out. Hit the gym and go hit on some new girls in the mean time.

Post: #3

She was attracted to your "football player" status. Then you scared her with your creepy email.

Live and learn bro.

Post: #4

I think she legitimately had something else planned already. I'd try her again during the week, since you see her all the time. Can't hurt.
And if you're a football player at school, I say forget the clubs and work the college parties. See what your teammates have going on and get to as many parties as you can. If you have to, throw your own.
Milk the football status as well as you can, you'll miss it once college is over.

Post: #5

Thanks guys for the good advice. I am kicking myself for not getting her number. I will play it cool and wait till I see her again face-to-face to gauge her subsequent interest. Personally, I believe that she was a bit squeamish regarding me after I sent her the email but that she had also had irreversible plans. Appreciate the assistance.

Post: #6

Dude, you don't take her to a trip before sticking your tongue in her mouth. You acted like a "long term boyfriend "=wuss guy . Football players don't do that. She liked you because you are cool and you have social proof. I ask girls to meet with me, have a walk, make some jockes and I try to kiss them. I'm curing myself from tacking them to a special place (coffe, pizza, drinks). If I do that I ask them to come in my house. Last time I prepared ice cream for one girl.
99% she lied you about her plans for that weekend, you "scared" her.

Post: #7

(04-19-2011 08:22 AM)tjf78 Wrote:  Thanks guys for the good advice. I am kicking myself for not getting her number. I will play it cool and wait till I see her again face-to-face to gauge her subsequent interest. Personally, I believe that she was a bit squeamish regarding me after I sent her the email but that she had also had irreversible plans. Appreciate the assistance.

I don't personally "wait" for any girl. Be pursuing other ones and don't get caught up on this one.

Post: #8

Being a football player, you've undoubtedly got teammates that get tons of girls. Hang out with them and try to pattern your behavior (with women) the same way.

Post: #9

Shorten your responses to a third of what you currently write. That builds a carefree, and somewhat a take it or leave it vibe that she will be intrigued by.

Don't be so considerate or polite, be to the point. This doesn't mean you aren't going to treat her well, this just enforces the idea that you are a man who get's what he wants.

Next time you see her, get her number. Don't mention any mistake on your part by not asking for it the first time. If you do that, she will sense weakness and it will lower your value. Get it from her the way you would get an old friends who just changed numbers.

Post: #10

You hit her with needy C&C game... planning an excursion before any intimacy was had, practically without her consent.

To salvage this you need to pull way back, basically ignoring her until she reaches out to you. Don't reply back to her message.

Post: #11

You're being too nice in your emails... make your emails shorter, don't use the words "I hope" and don't sign off telling her to enjoy her weekend.. a pithy email with an abrupt sign-off is much better, it's the email form of "I can walk away" attitude, nothing in your emails is making her chase you.
Delete your draft email, don't be so understanding. Next email, after the weekend, "Just seeing if you survived the weekend, txt me at xxx-xxxx." I like to use that as it avoids asking a direct question (apposed to "how was your weekend? txt me at xxx-xxxx"); perhaps it's splitting hairs, though I think the fewer questions you ask, the better. Then you call her to meet you at xyz (which you're "already going to" even if you're not), make it an easy place to meet. Do not pay her way to six flags.

Post: #12

(04-18-2011 11:08 PM)tjf78 Wrote:  Hello All:

I am a 20 year college football player who goes to school in NY. Recently, this younger girl that I had known the last year and a half started to smile and say hi to me (out of the blue). This began about one month ago. Two weeks ago, I walked into the cafe alone and she was sitting at a table with one of her friends. I sat down at her table and her eyes lit up. I began talking to her and her friends. She asked me lots of questions about what I did the night before, what I would be doing today, etc. I finished my breakfast and left her and her friend behind. This weekend, I came by the cafe again and sat down w/ my teammates and she was at the table. We all talked and the guys left but she stayed behind. She asked me where I would be living on campus next year and I told her the house. Her eyes light up and she said that was where she would be living also.

Her eyes got my attention and I waited about 3 more minutes. I then proceeded to ask her on a date with me to go on the school trip to Six Flags Great Adventure. I told her that I have not been there since I was 14 and she seems very excited. So anyway today I go to college activities and ask to buy tickets. They would not sell me any unless the girl was with me (security reasons). So I did not have her phone number so I sent her an email. My school email system is just first name.last name1 (ej [email protected]) so I guessed her email address and I was right. She wrote back in a timely fashion. I will show you my email and her response.

My email
Hey Girl's Name :

I stopped by college activities today and asked to buy two tickets for the upcoming Six Flags trip on Saturday, 4/30. The receptionist said that each student had to be present with a student ID when buying their ticket. In order to buy the tickets we both need to be at college activities with our IDs ready. If you get back to me before four, we could walk over to college activities and buy over tickets. If not, we can buy them tomorrow. Let me know when you can go over to college activities. My cell is (xxx) xxx-xxxx. Have a good rest of the day!

My Name

Her response
Hey my name!

That was really nice of you to remember!! I was just checking my schedule to make sure that I was free that day and unfortunately I have to go to the dress rehearsal for the fashion show. I'm sorry. On Saturday and Sunday, they do a run through and I have to be present for up to 3 hours on that day. I'm really sorry!! I definitely wanted to go, I'm so disappointed. Thanks again, though!!!

My question to you guys is: 1) has she changed her mind about going out on a date w/ me and 2) should I respond.

Here is my tentative response (have not sent it):

Hey name:

Do not worry about it. Everyone has commitments that they need to honor. Have fun at the fashion show rehearsal. We will try again after break to do something together. If I do not see you before Thursday, have a Happy Easter with your family!

My name

Any comments or suggestions will be greatly appreciated. I have only been on one date w/ another woman and turned sour. I went out to a club twice this year and almost got a girl back to my room. I feel that I am at a disadvantage because I am inexperienced with women. Let me know what you guys because I am relatively optimistic about my future prospects. Once I get laid, I know that the momentum will carry me forward. Thank you very much.

Meet more girls. You're suffering from oneitis with a chick you haven't even banged.

In the mean time, cocky & funny... that's almost to be expected from a football player... master it and you should have no trouble getting laid. No more long winded emails. Remember she should be chasing you, not the other way around.