Post: #1

I'm 30, well, 31 in a week. Separated from my wife back in March and filed for a divorce. I'm not exactly new to game, but rather rediscovering it after a long hiatus in a relationship that turned into a marriage. See, I got into game back in 2007 when the manosphere consisted of Mystery, Neil Strauss, and the RSD crew. I did it to combat a one-itis with a previous girl I was having and to open up my options more. It worked pretty well, even though I never mastered it. I ended up banging my one-itis a few times while she was in a relationship with another dude, had some flings with other girls, and then met the woman who would later become my ex-wife. The woman I married pretty much fit the 8 signs of a keeper pretty well and I never thought it would end this way. But some things happened to her that kinda put me into a betatizing position (I won't get into too many specifics, but one was a major medical event and the straw that broke the camel's back was her dad dying at a young age six months after we hitched).

I discovered Athol Kay's Married Man Sex Life at the tail end of our marriage, when it was really beyond saving. But the reliance on game within the context of marriage re-initiated me to the game underground, and when I delved deeper into what the manosphere had become, I finally took the proverbial red pill. And that's where I am today.

Of course, I'm in a bit of a pickle right now because after the marriage fizzled, our lease ended, I took a new job 40 miles away (in shitty SoCal commute), and committed myself to a month of travel. Long story short, I wasn't in a position to get a new place right off the bat, so I ended up crashing with my folks and I'm still here working on saving some $$ (the area where my job is is expensive, so I need to build a bit of a wiggle room fund until I get my compensation stabilized at my new company, although that's starting to come around quite well). Targeting a November move date since its a cheaper month to rent, but now the biggest hurdle is that I have shitty logistics for banging. I'm still doing my approaches, working my technique, and doing altogether fairly well with it. Closing has always been my weakness game wise, and it's even more challenging right now given my crap logistics. That'll get worked out soon enough, and I'm kinda focusing on improving other areas of my life anyhow. But I must say, I'm glad to have discovered Roosh's books, blog, and this forum. Been lurking for awhile and can already tell this community is well informed on this art form. Looking forward to benefiting more from the community here and ultimately contributing my own experiences as time allows.

Post: #2

Welcome. Browse the forum, read blogs and most importantly get out there and start meeting girls.

The bet cure for an ex is 10 new fresh girls. It works, do it.

Post: #3

(08-16-2013 04:19 AM)McQueensPlayboyRules Wrote:  Welcome. Browse the forum, read blogs and most importantly get out there and start meeting girls.

The bet cure for an ex is 10 new fresh girls. It works, do it.

Perspective is king. 10 girls give you perspective.

100 girls gives you another perspective.

Post: #4

(08-16-2013 12:24 AM)Sudden Wrote:  I'm 30, well, 31 in a week. Separated from my wife back in March and filed for a divorce.

Other stuff

Targeting a November move date since its a cheaper month to rent, but now the biggest hurdle is that I have shitty logistics for banging. I'm still doing my approaches, working my technique, and doing altogether fairly well with it. Closing has always been my weakness game wise, and it's even more challenging right now given my crap logistics.

Where are you looking to live? It sounds like with your new job you're stuck with a shitty commute, but if you can manage at all to get a place near the beach there are a ton of cool beach towns in So Cal that would allow you to live relatively cheaply in an area close to the beach and social areas. If I were in your situation I'd seriously look at those options if it's at all feasible.

Post: #5

(08-16-2013 12:24 AM)Sudden Wrote:  I'm 30, well, 31 in a week. Separated from my wife back in March and filed for a divorce. I'm not exactly new to game, but rather rediscovering it after a long hiatus in a relationship that turned into a marriage. See, I got into game back in 2007 when the manosphere consisted of Mystery, Neil Strauss, and the RSD crew. I did it to combat a one-itis with a previous girl I was having and to open up my options more. It worked pretty well, even though I never mastered it. I ended up banging my one-itis a few times while she was in a relationship with another dude, had some flings with other girls, and then met the woman who would later become my ex-wife. The woman I married pretty much fit the 8 signs of a keeper pretty well and I never thought it would end this way. But some things happened to her that kinda put me into a betatizing position (I won't get into too many specifics, but one was a major medical event and the straw that broke the camel's back was her dad dying at a young age six months after we hitched).

I discovered Athol Kay's Married Man Sex Life at the tail end of our marriage, when it was really beyond saving. But the reliance on game within the context of marriage re-initiated me to the game underground, and when I delved deeper into what the manosphere had become, I finally took the proverbial red pill. And that's where I am today.

Of course, I'm in a bit of a pickle right now because after the marriage fizzled, our lease ended, I took a new job 40 miles away (in shitty SoCal commute), and committed myself to a month of travel. Long story short, I wasn't in a position to get a new place right off the bat, so I ended up crashing with my folks and I'm still here working on saving some $$ (the area where my job is is expensive, so I need to build a bit of a wiggle room fund until I get my compensation stabilized at my new company, although that's starting to come around quite well). Targeting a November move date since its a cheaper month to rent, but now the biggest hurdle is that I have shitty logistics for banging. I'm still doing my approaches, working my technique, and doing altogether fairly well with it. Closing has always been my weakness game wise, and it's even more challenging right now given my crap logistics. That'll get worked out soon enough, and I'm kinda focusing on improving other areas of my life anyhow. But I must say, I'm glad to have discovered Roosh's books, blog, and this forum. Been lurking for awhile and can already tell this community is well informed on this art form. Looking forward to benefiting more from the community here and ultimately contributing my own experiences as time allows.

"(I won't get into too many specifics, but one was a major medical event and the straw that broke the camel's back was her dad dying at a young age six months after we hitched)."

If you get a chance, please elaborate on the illness. This is what wrecked my marriage. I'm still dealing with the fallout. I think guys here can benefit from hearing these stories, and I'll share mine in time.

Post: #6

What area are you living in? I thought main LA was where it was at. And it is in a way, but god so many good-looking girls out in the burbs. Pasadena, Glendale, etc etc.

Post: #7

(08-16-2013 04:41 PM)DVY Wrote:  What area are you living in? I thought main LA was where it was at. And it is in a way, but god so many good-looking girls out in the burbs. Pasadena, Glendale, etc etc.

I'm out past the San Fernando Valley. My office is downtown so I spend 2-3 hours a day commuting. It's pretty brutal and work has been super busy lately (which is great) so between the hours at the office and the hours commuting, I'm committing 12-14 hours a day to work. My plan is moving downtown soon since I'll be able to walk to work and be in a central location.

Post: #8

(08-16-2013 04:18 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  If you get a chance, please elaborate on the illness. This is what wrecked my marriage. I'm still dealing with the fallout. I think guys here can benefit from hearing these stories, and I'll share mine in time.

Within the first year of us dating, she was diagnosed with a benign brain tumor and went through surgery. They were able to remove most of the tumor but had to leave a bit behind due to it being located right by a primary artery. She dealt with some complications for a couple of years after including a seizure, recurring auras every month or so, and she was constantly worried about the portion left regrowing. Her brain surgeon suggested she get off hormonal birth control right around the time we got married, and she was paranoid that pregnancy would cause a regrowth of the tumor, so ironically we ended up using condoms for most of our married life. Then her dad died, she just kinda completely checked out, and I doubled down the beta BS, not wanting to add any further conflict to her life so I became too accommodating. By the time I discovered the red pill, the damage was done and the attempt to flip the script wasn't working. No property, no kids, got out pretty easy. The only thing I really lost in the process was whatever sense of romanticism and idealism I had. It's not jaded, it's just aware.

Post: #9

(08-17-2013 02:32 PM)Sudden Wrote:  

(08-16-2013 04:18 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  If you get a chance, please elaborate on the illness. This is what wrecked my marriage. I'm still dealing with the fallout. I think guys here can benefit from hearing these stories, and I'll share mine in time.

Within the first year of us dating, she was diagnosed with a benign brain tumor and went through surgery. They were able to remove most of the tumor but had to leave a bit behind due to it being located right by a primary artery. She dealt with some complications for a couple of years after including a seizure, recurring auras every month or so, and she was constantly worried about the portion left regrowing. Her brain surgeon suggested she get off hormonal birth control right around the time we got married, and she was paranoid that pregnancy would cause a regrowth of the tumor, so ironically we ended up using condoms for most of our married life. Then her dad died, she just kinda completely checked out, and I doubled down the beta BS, not wanting to add any further conflict to her life so I became too accommodating. By the time I discovered the red pill, the damage was done and the attempt to flip the script wasn't working. No property, no kids, got out pretty easy. The only thing I really lost in the process was whatever sense of romanticism and idealism I had. It's not jaded, it's just aware.

Sad story. Illness destroys lives. It's hard to handle when you're sick or the one watching someone who is.

Post: #10

Nice way to open up, OP. Sounds like it was more an unfortunate confluence of circumstances that caused your marriage to dissolve, and it seems like you have a pretty good take on it. Respect for not being too jaded, I know I was after my divorce, and there wasn't any medical issues to blame.

Can't you take the train into downtown? I'm sure it's not ideal, but I have family friends that come in from as far as moorpark and Simi Valley and that's deep past the SF Valley. Same with Palmdale Lancaster if you have the unfortunate situation of living there.

Post: #11

@sudden- sorry to hear buddy. Consider moving to North Hollywood. Rent is inexpensive there, or you can get a room-mate from CL or wtvr. 1k/month or maybe even a little less is totally doable.

You can take the train into Downtown from North Hollywood. Its faster than driving 100% and 20x less stress. <---