Post: #1

So I have been seeing this Japanese girl for about a month. The past few times we went out, had some drinks, got nicely drunk and went home and fucked. We did this last Monday too. On Tuesday we had lunch and a coffee and made tentative plans to meet up tonight.

On Wednesday I messaged her saying that I forgotten I had made plans with a friend to go see wrestling tonight. But I said "I'm free Monday. Let's meet and have fun again."

Then last night she sent me this:

"hi
i wont meet u anymore i get bored!
bye"

This confused me as she always seemed to be having a good time, lots of laughs, always eager to fuck at the end of the night, so I couldn't get where this came from. I currently have another girl on the go too, and this one was number 2 in my head, but still the suddenness and disconnect to how she was acting kinda threw me a bit.

I replied with: "You always seemed to be having fun to me. Whatever. Email me if you change your mind." I paused over the Whatever wondering if it sounded a bit butthurt, but went with it anyway. Probably over analyzing as usual, but any thoughts/advice?

I'd ideally like to keep her in the rotation, but at the same time I'm okay with it as it frees up one of my precious nights off.

Post: #2

Well you already sent a reply so can't do much now about that except leave it.

Wait a week or two then hit her up on a Tuesday or Wednesday with a short text:

'We should do drinks in the near future'

Either she bites or doesnt.

In the future I would suggest just writting 'okay' or nothing at all to a message like that and then leaving it sit for a bit.

Post: #3

(03-07-2013 01:45 AM)Irishman Wrote:  'We should do drinks in the near future'

'Drinks thursday? Wear something cute.'

If she 'get bored' then shake it up a bit. Flake on her, be unpredictable.

Wait a while then call her up as if nothing has happened. Feed her emotions, any emotions will do. Fuck her, give her orgasms, then bail. Call her up next morning and invite her to have breakfast with you. Hang up on her. Tie her up to your bed, then go have some coffee. Stick your thumb up her ass. Call her someone elses name. Give her a stupid nickname like "Boobs" or "Tinyass".

She get bored, you have fun.

Post: #4

(03-07-2013 01:45 AM)Irishman Wrote:  In the future I would suggest just writting 'okay' or nothing at all to a message like that and then leaving it sit for a bit.

Yeah I figured as much, but kinda wanted to see if I got more info from her. Need to make sure I don't fall back into my old bad habits with stuff like this.

Quote:'Drinks thursday? Wear something cute.'

If she 'get bored' then shake it up a bit. Flake on her, be unpredictable.

Wait a while then call her up as if nothing has happened. Feed her emotions, any emotions will do. Fuck her, give her orgasms, then bail. Call her up next morning and invite her to have breakfast with you. Hang up on her. Tie her up to your bed, then go have some coffee. Stick your thumb up her ass. Call her someone elses name. Give her a stupid nickname like "Boobs" or "Tinyass".

She get bored, you have fun.

Awesome advice. I find myself worrying about my own frame and control so much I kinda forget about the letting go and having fun thing. Need to work on this. I actually used the "Wear something cute" (shamelessly stolen from here) on the other girl I'm seeing. She turned up, took off her coat, shyly looked up from the floor and said "....I tried". Nearly banged her right then and there in the kitchen. In fact I would've done if I didn't live with 7 other people. That's why she's above the girl who rejected in my estimations.

Post: #5

Maybe not, maybe the diss you gave her reduced your beta below the level she needs. Depends on how Asian vs American she is. Something beta and heartfelt might do the trick.

Post: #6

(03-07-2013 02:26 AM)Joseph_Dantes Wrote:  Maybe not, maybe the diss you gave her reduced your beta below the level she needs. Depends on how Asian vs American she is. Something beta and heartfelt might do the trick.

She spent a few years in Canada so she's a little bit westernized but not excessively so (Thank fuck). I get where you're coming from though. My reading was that the heartfelt stuff was not needed on this one. She loved teasing, me being cocky, etc. There's more of that with the other girl, because she laps it up.

Yeah maybe it was a case of the straw that broke the camels back. The 'get bored' line mentioned above makes me doubt it however. I'll re-engage in a week or two as suggested, but it's a good excuse to work on approaches more anyway.

Post: #7

Sometimes it’s not even your game, and from what you have written it sounds like you were playing it well to that point.

Sometimes there is no logical reason for things like this. The other part of the equation is the girl: you’re talking to another human being, someone with their own thoughts, moods and emotions. Maybe she was tired, maybe she is on her peroid. Or she could just be a bitch.

While it’s true that you can use game to swing a girl’s emotions toward sex and romance it’s not guaranteed. Sometimes she is just in a bad move, she got some bad news, or just acting up. You have no idea.

I wouldn't worry about it too much and re-engage in a week or two as you have already mentioned.

Post: #8

(03-07-2013 02:57 AM)Irishman Wrote:  Sometimes it’s not even your game, and from what you have written it sounds like you were playing it well to that point.

Sometimes there is no logical reason for things like this. The other part of the equation is the girl: you’re talking to another human being, someone with their own thoughts, moods and emotions. Maybe she was tired, maybe she is on her peroid. Or she could just be a bitch.

While it’s true that you can use game to swing a girl’s emotions toward sex and romance it’s not guaranteed. Sometimes she is just in a bad move, she got some bad news, or just acting up. You have no idea.

I wouldn't worry about it too much and re-engage in a week or two as you have already mentioned.

Again just what I needed to hear. Much love for this place already. Good to just have a place to air a problem. The fact that it comes back with excellent advice is what makes this forum so awesome.

Post: #9

You should just have replied LOL or ok. Obvious shit test.

Post: #10

this ^^ or radio silence

Post: #11

Let's compare "ok" and radio silence.

I often run into this dilemma and in the end I feel radio silence is the best course of action.

I mean, if a girl throws some shit at you with the intention of making you squirm, she'll be able to read the effect (or lack thereof) through nonverbals, no matter what you say. Over text you don't have this advantage, so why bother replying at all.

Post: #12

Yeah I noticed this back home. When I give girls radio silence because I'm really not that into them they cannot get enough and give out loads of attention.

Can't believe I didn't even think shit test at first. I seem to be much better detecting them in real life. Think I'm giving too much leeway on texting due to the language barrier/thinking Japanese girls might be different.

Post: #13

LOL response would have been ideal. Laugh her bullshit off and leave it that. Move on

Post: #14

(03-07-2013 01:35 AM)Nature Boy Wrote:  The past few times we went out, had some drinks, got nicely drunk and went home and fucked. We did this last Monday too. On Tuesday we had lunch and a coffee and made tentative plans to meet up tonight.

The formula of going out + having drinks + going home and fucking was working for you.

Why would you change it up and meet her for lunch and coffee? Sometimes a girl who likes having drinks and then fucking would get bored if you had lunch and coffee. That's sorta going backwards IMHO. Once you are fucking for a couple of months and have developed a bond of friendship then coffee would be cool.

Next time if you want to shake things up then just have her come over to your place and fuck without bothering with going out.

Post: #15

This is surprisingly direct and refreshing for a Japanese girl. I'd bet 10Man yen that she's lived abroad. I doubt it's a shit test... They really do abruptly stop being friends (or lovers) with people. They actually have a word for "allowing a relationship to slowly die."

"ShizenShometsu" ← Learn it.

I hope you can get her back on rotation, but I'd be extremely surprised if you ever see or hear from her again.

Post: #16

she wasn't bored, she was butt-hurt for getting bumped.

if she doesnt sound off soon, give her a random text after a while like "sounds like fun" as though you texted her by mistake.

only her hamster can cure the butthurt.

Post: #17

(03-07-2013 11:18 AM)NoBalls Wrote:  

(03-07-2013 01:35 AM)Nature Boy Wrote:  The past few times we went out, had some drinks, got nicely drunk and went home and fucked. We did this last Monday too. On Tuesday we had lunch and a coffee and made tentative plans to meet up tonight.

The formula of going out + having drinks + going home and fucking was working for you.

Why would you change it up and meet her for lunch and coffee? Sometimes a girl who likes having drinks and then fucking would get bored if you had lunch and coffee. That's sorta going backwards IMHO. Once you are fucking for a couple of months and have developed a bond of friendship then coffee would be cool.

Next time if you want to shake things up then just have her come over to your place and fuck without bothering with going out.

I should have been clearer. The lunch and coffee on Tuesday was the morning after we went out and fucked on Monday night.

@Skotch
I'm not taking that bet! Mainly because I don't have that much money and you're 100% right. Did not know about any of that so its good to know. I knew about the whole flaking culture on meeting, but nothing about that.

I'm gonna try the advice to re-engage in a week or two, but yeah, not holding my breath either. But fuck it, if I see her again good, if not there's plenty more in Tokyo!

Post: #18

the only thing do is profess how sad you are that shes not there and beg for her to come back







kidding!

dude - you'll never be able to know why a bitch does or says the she things she does. just move on. if you want, send her a text in a couple weeks - something playful - but frankly when a girl tells you to piss off and you come back for more - it just looks needy.

if women weren't flaky by nature, then men wouldn't rule the world.