Post: #1

Okay for those of you wondering about the title of this thread...

Anyone experience friends, co-workers, and peers "hating" when you share your travel plans or talk about your travel experiences?

I am noticing that it's a common trend for me, that when I mention to people that I'm traveling to Mexico (or insert any place outside the U.S.), people react in a somewhat passive aggressive or condescending way.

Reactions like "oh that's great" in a sarcastic way all the way to "you have to be crazy to go there", or "you couldn't pay me to spend a second in ___". It's even worse when you are a single guy traveling to a place like Brazil or Thailand, people always want to hate and say "oh you're just going there because you can't get laid and want to fuck hookers..." Like it's unfathomable that a person may be interested in experiencing a foreign culture, seeing amazing sites, and just doing straight up cool/fun stuff you couldn't do in your every day life.

I am coming to realize that most people hate on those who travel, because they either can't afford to travel, or they just don't have the balls to step outside their comfort zone and go to an exotic "foreign land".

For the people that can't afford to travel, I can feel their pain. A buddy of mine who is an all around good guy, I'm sure doesn't mean to hate, but when I told him I got a one-way ticket to Mexico, his face contorted, I could see his expression drop, and whether he consciously meant it or not, he came off as mad sarcastic, when he was like "cool, sounds like fun." I thought about it a minute later after we parted ways and realized it must suck for him to hear that considering he's struggling working for minimum wage, living pay check to pay check,while he knows I'll be doing cool shit like chilling at the beach drinking beer, snorkeling, visiting Mayan ruins, etc.

Now for those people who hate on traveling, but have the resources to do it, but are just too pussy, well I got no fucking sympathy for those people at all. It's your typical close-minded American who thinks the world is this big scary place and if you got somewhere like Latin America you will be drugged, raped, robbed, beaten, kidnapped, etc. They delude themselves into thinking that this is the best country in the world so why travel anywhere else. Really it's just a rationalization for their own lack of courage to step outside their precious little bubble.

Let's face it, it does take some balls, and maybe some smarts, or some passion and interest to gain more out of life. Worldwide travelers are a rare breed, a better breed if you ask me. We seek more experience out of life, strive to do something greater, something out of the ordinary. Certainly we don't let fear and comfort rule our lives.

When we travel to a new country, a new continent, see and experience a new culture, we grow as a person. Coming back, we have changed, but pretty much everyone else stays the same. These people who stay in their comfortable little cocoon, deep down inside they know that there is something greater out there, something to be seen and experienced in this life. Since they don't experience this, they can only sit back and be passive aggressive, cynical, hate on those who do, or simply rationalize away why they couldn't or shouldn't take the plunge and take that trip.

If there is anything to take away from this post, it's that if you're not growing, than what are you doing? One of the greatest ways to grow as a person, in my humble opinion is to get on a jet plane and go see another part of the world. Don't do it from the safety of your tour bus, or hotel window, get out there and get drunk with the locals, eat at the food stalls, make a friend and go hiking up in the hills to that hidden waterfall.

You only live on this earth once, so experience as much as there is in life to experience. There will always be a new iphone, flat screen tv, or whatever at Target or BestBuy, but when you are sitting on your deathbed will you really think about the ipad 2, or will you think of that night watching shooting stars over the Sahara sky, or that beautiful Brazilian girl with the freshly shaved pussy? The choice is yours my friends.

Post: #2

It's simple blue pill don't-rock-the-boat mentality. Ask yourself if these people are bringing anything into your life other than snark.

Post: #3

OGNor707, I really loved this post. This is a subject dear to my heart. Your post should really be called Travel Hate and Travel Love. I have been a traveler most of my life.

As far as travel hate goes. I've experienced a ton of it from workers and friends. I wrote a blog post talking about Travel Hate on my blog which tells my experiences with people hating me for traveling and how I handle it. I describe what I tell people so I don't have to explain. I also no longer hang out with several friends of mine due to their jealousy of my traveling. They have much more money than me, but don't have the balls to do it themselves. Instead they just want to hate me. So Fuck 'em! I've removed them from my life. That is all you can do. If you have a friend that can't afford it, I'd say remain quiet about your travels. Jealousy is a horrible thing in the West.

http://partytravelsexlove.com/2012/11/29...-basement/

Now let's talk about your other topic: Travel Love. For those of you that haven't traveled, you should. Travel is the most rewarding experience I know of. I'd rather travel to exotic countries and live in very cheap apartments and meet the locals than have a new Mercedes. All the material things in the West no longer interest me. My life is about new experiences by traveling and meeting new people and yes, you can meet pretty ladies along the way, that will find you interesting and want to have fun. Most people are just armchair travelers. Hopefully more and more people on the Forum will get out of their armchairs and do it. Also, once you travel, don't just stay with all the backpackers from the West. Get out and hang out with the locals. That is the only way you'll get the full experience. The ultimate experience is to get a local girlfriend, go to her villiage, live her life, eat their food and see what their life is about.

OK guys get out there and have fun!

Post: #4

(01-12-2013 02:35 AM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  Okay for those of you wondering about the title of this thread...

Anyone experience friends, co-workers, and peers "hating" when you share your travel plans or talk about your travel experiences?

I am noticing that it's a common trend for me, that when I mention to people that I'm traveling to Mexico (or insert any place outside the U.S.), people react in a somewhat passive aggressive or condescending way.

Reactions like "oh that's great" in a sarcastic way all the way to "you have to be crazy to go there", or "you couldn't pay me to spend a second in ___". It's even worse when you are a single guy traveling to a place like Brazil or Thailand, people always want to hate and say "oh you're just going there because you can't get laid and want to fuck hookers..." Like it's unfathomable that a person may be interested in experiencing a foreign culture, seeing amazing sites, and just doing straight up cool/fun stuff you couldn't do in your every day life.

I am coming to realize that most people hate on those who travel, because they either can't afford to travel, or they just don't have the balls to step outside their comfort zone and go to an exotic "foreign land".

For the people that can't afford to travel, I can feel their pain. A buddy of mine who is an all around good guy, I'm sure doesn't mean to hate, but when I told him I got a one-way ticket to Mexico, his face contorted, I could see his expression drop, and whether he consciously meant it or not, he came off as mad sarcastic, when he was like "cool, sounds like fun." I thought about it a minute later after we parted ways and realized it must suck for him to hear that considering he's struggling working for minimum wage, living pay check to pay check,while he knows I'll be doing cool shit like chilling at the beach drinking beer, snorkeling, visiting Mayan ruins, etc.

Now for those people who hate on traveling, but have the resources to do it, but are just too pussy, well I got no fucking sympathy for those people at all. It's your typical close-minded American who thinks the world is this big scary place and if you got somewhere like Latin America you will be drugged, raped, robbed, beaten, kidnapped, etc. They delude themselves into thinking that this is the best country in the world so why travel anywhere else. Really it's just a rationalization for their own lack of courage to step outside their precious little bubble.

Let's face it, it does take some balls, and maybe some smarts, or some passion and interest to gain more out of life. Worldwide travelers are a rare breed, a better breed if you ask me. We seek more experience out of life, strive to do something greater, something out of the ordinary. Certainly we don't let fear and comfort rule our lives.

When we travel to a new country, a new continent, see and experience a new culture, we grow as a person. Coming back, we have changed, but pretty much everyone else stays the same. These people who stay in their comfortable little cocoon, deep down inside they know that there is something greater out there, something to be seen and experienced in this life. Since they don't experience this, they can only sit back and be passive aggressive, cynical, hate on those who do, or simply rationalize away why they couldn't or shouldn't take the plunge and take that trip.

If there is anything to take away from this post, it's that if you're not growing, than what are you doing? One of the greatest ways to grow as a person, in my humble opinion is to get on a jet plane and go see another part of the world. Don't do it from the safety of your tour bus, or hotel window, get out there and get drunk with the locals, eat at the food stalls, make a friend and go hiking up in the hills to that hidden waterfall.

You only live on this earth once, so experience as much as there is in life to experience. There will always be a new iphone, flat screen tv, or whatever at Target or BestBuy, but when you are sitting on your deathbed will you really think about the ipad 2, or will you think of that night watching shooting stars over the Sahara sky, or that beautiful Brazilian girl with the freshly shaved pussy? The choice is yours my friends.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #5

great post OG...I've been back in NYC for about 2 weeks now after a 5 week trip in Colombia. Some of my friends have outright cut me off when I start bringing up my trip or start talking about my future plans. Save a few friends the large majority have acted passively aggressively towards my trips. And this is in Manhattan! Where people are mostly from somewhere else and mostly have more open-minded attitudes about the world, etc. As you say...we're changing/growing and they're not and I think it kills them.
Just in the last few days I've been searching out Colombians and other foreigner groups in NYC (restaurants, meetups, etc). These people tend to be more open minded, well traveled, and connected...much more my speed.

Post: #6

I think this problem may go slightly deeper than what you guys are seeing. What I have noticed from my extensive time in the states is that the average american wants to believe the illusion that the USA is the greatest country on earth, and they don't want to even consider that it isn't. It doesn't matter if they come from the US or not. If they immigrated, they likely did so under the assumption that life would be better in the USA than wherever it is they came from. After a few years they may have come to the realization that the US is not the golden paradise they thought it would be. That you are traveling around experiencing all these great things. This breeds two complex and distinct forms of jealousy defined by freud as 'competitive' (Immigrants) and 'projective' (US born friends).

Instead of wanting to live vicariously through your travels and hear more about all the hot Colombians you banged while they were at home waiting for their probably less than average looking girlfriends to finish watching TV so they can get their weekly hand job, they want to make themselves believe that they are doing right by not traveling. Jealousy is love and hate at the same time, they love the idea that you are living a cool lifestyle, but hate that its not them.

The best people to talk about traveling with are of course other people that travel. They will actually know what you are talking about and likely to be able to give you similarly interesting stories that will motivate you to think about new places to go!

Post: #7

Yeah man there's tons of haters in this world and much of that hate comes from people who don't know how to get what they want out of this world. More often than not, these same people have shit situations from shitty decisions they make. Just brush them off and keep building on the solid foundation you have.

I have a lot of friends who do not really travel but we get along well because they are doing things to get what they want while I'm doing the same. Game recognize game!

Post: #8

I've experienced this. A lot of people in the US are brainwashed to believe that if you go to certain countries upon getting off the plane you will be drugged, taken for ransom, and murdered. If it's not a popular destination like Paris, London, or Rome, people think it's too dangerous. I was talking with this girl about wanting to go to Brazil to train BJJ, and this is her response.

'I knew this one guy who went to Brazil, they kidnapped him and raped him, it's too dangerous to go there'

It was the first thing that came out of her mouth. I told her she was a close minded idiot. Saying that cost me the bang, but I can't be bothered to deal with such stupidity.

It's becoming extremely rare for me to find people who are non haters. It's gotten to the point where the past few years I don't even bother to tell people my future plans or goals. I accomplish more this way and don't have to listen to people who want me to fail.

This sort of thing happens in a lot of areas. It's like the human equivalent of water seeking it's own level. People don't like to feel like they are being left out or that someone is doing better and cooler stuff than them. Everyone around them confirms their identity so if you're traveling to a bunch of cool places even your 'friends' may resent you for it. You're no longer part of their group. When they see you on the rise they want to bring you down.

I've learned that being jealous in life accomplishes very little. When I see someone who is doing better than me, whether it's financial, lifestyle, in BJJ class, in business, on average getting hotter girls, etc. I just ask myself what I can learn from that person. The feeling of envy rarely if ever enters my mind.

Post: #9

Everyone gets travel hate. My 70+ aunt in Greece tells me if asked to tell her neighbors if they ask were we are going to say a funeral instead of hitting up the islands. She's afraid of the Mati or evil eye curse of Greek haters and the boat may sink etc.

As for me I probably get more hate than the rest of you guys. I have a baby moma that refuses to watch my kid and threatens to leave her with whoever when i'm gone so I have to insure my family is there to take her then she spreads rumors about me going on trips to have sex with underaged girls to my family.

My mom thinks everyplace is dangerous for me but not for her ofcourse. She's a world traveler and will plan a trip that messes my plans up because she doesn't want me to go. She thinks I'm wife shopping and possibly getting Aids simultaneously.

My employees run my place into the ground and tell everyone that I'm fucking hookers in a third world country. I even closed my place down but they showed up anyway to hate and fuck shit up..My last trip my debit card wouldn't work so I called my employee who I've been friends with for 18 years to send some cash and he said his oven was on and how am I going to pay him back from there. Uh??? You have my checkbook dumbass and can write checks!!!!!!!!!!He complained about me not having my shit together..

Post: #10

its no different than how people treat people who are rich, successful, in great shape, very smart (really just insert a postive aspect about your life) and you will attract haters.

by traveling to interesting places or having other postive (envious) things in your life you attract jealously. i think the expression "misery loves company" best explains why people hate on those with interesting (envious) lives. by traveling you are an afront to their boring/shitty lives because you remind them how boring/shitty their lives are. after all if you can go to city/country X why cant they? well they can and by traveling you remind them it is possible to go there but at the end of the day these people would rather spend their money and time on less adventerous shit or they are too pussy. either way i found its best not to talk about travel unless you are in the company of fellow travelers.

its kind of like rich kids, ones with trustfunds, they learn at an early age to not talk about it unless your with another rich kid because you get hated on. imo share your travel experiences with close friends and dont talk to anyone else about it unless it comes up organically in the conversation or you are asked about it specifically.

Post: #11

(01-12-2013 01:05 PM)bacon Wrote:  either way i found its best not to talk about travel unless you are in the company of fellow travelers.

its kind of like rich kids, ones with trustfunds, they learn at an early age to not talk about it unless your with another rich kid because you get hated on. imo share your travel experiences with close friends and dont talk to anyone else about it unless it comes up organically in the conversation or you are asked about it specifically.

I agree. For the record, I am not going around bragging about my upcoming trip or my travels in general, I was going to write about that in the post, but kind of forgot. I have come to a similar conclusion, and in general I feel like going around announcing to everyone that you're going on this fucking awesome 6 week trip to Mexico or wherever unsolicited does come across as bragging.

Just like when you see someone you haven't seen in a while and before you get a chance to say a word, they launch into a brag about how they are fucking 10's, making shit tons of money or whatever, it comes off as arrogant and can rub you the wrong way. I only really mention my travel plans or experiences if it comes up in conversation, if someone asks me what I'm up to, or for example a guy from my Filipino Kali class invited me to go to a knife fighting seminar in SF next month, but I told him I was going to be gone on my trip.

For those who know me, I have great disdain for arrogance, and great respect for those are humble. I strive for humbleness in all aspects of life, discussing and sharing my travel plans falls under that umbrella.

Post: #12

Yep this travel hating is going to continue to happen to all of us. If anything, it will only intensify with increasing xenophobia.

Only one solution that I know of: completely remove the haters from your life. Associate with like minded people. This is why even if you never meet anyone else from this forum, it's still very therapeutic!

Post: #13

Think of it as motivation and an affirmation that you're doing the right thing in traveling, exploring, adventuring, and swooping girls along the way.

Your friends and co-workers are stuck in their boring, aimless lives, whose idea of an exciting time is buying a new big screen TV or going out to dinner at a nice place.

For your male co-workers and friends, you going out to plunder new lands and chicas is rubbing it in their faces, a reminder of the unsurceasing mundanity of their day to day lives. They try and tell themselves that they could do it too if they didn't have a girlfriend/wife/children/bills to pay/pets/fantasy football team, but deep down they know they couldn't.

For your female co-workers and friends, you going out to plunder new lands and chicas is rubbing it in their faces, a reminder that they're replaceable, a commodity (an inferior one at that), whose college degrees and ability to banter sarcastically doesn't mean shit next to a thin, feminine foreign girl in high heels and a form-fitting dress.

My co-workers (and superiors) try and act cordial about my travels, but sometimes a bitter frown or passive aggressive comment slips out.

Post: #14

I find the opposite to be true! Everyone I meet is of the facebook generation 18-30 where all they see is peoples pics on facebook of thailand etc and they think that if you haven't spent a month in Thailand then you're not cool. The thing is they only go because its the craze and they are just copying each other in most cases. So yea, I find when I tell people I don t really have much interest in visiting Asia or South America people look down as me as not being ain the cool facebook pics gang.

Post: #15

(01-12-2013 03:31 PM)lush1 Wrote:  I find the opposite to be true! Everyone I meet is of the facebook generation 18-30 where all they see is peoples pics on facebook of thailand etc and they think that if you haven't spent a month in Thailand then you're not cool. The thing is they only go because its the craze and they are just copying each other in most cases. So yea, I find when I tell people I don t really have much interest in visiting Asia or South America people look down as me as not being ain the cool facebook pics gang.

Probably, people here in my country understand if you go to Paris, Berlin and London and maybe compliment you for it.
Anyhow try to tell them that you will go to Poland, Russia, Turkey or whatever...You get laughed on, misunderstood or hated.
I stopped even to say my plans to morons and stupid girls because they don't understand that I want to travel the world and see many cultures and places (women are just a well welcomed plus).

Post: #16

Same saying "Haters gonna hate!" The more successful you get the more hate you get, the more interesting your life.. the more hate you get! Cool to see you're going out to Mexico, more importantly what city?

Finally, just avoid telling people about things that will make them feel "lower" than you. If he's a cool guy and just doesnt have his finances together tell him you're going to "work" or seeing "family". Most people are unable to be happy for the success of others.

Post: #17

I started rocking bowties for about a year going out in SF, mad hate from dudes. Girls thought it was cute, stunning and questioned my sexuality, but we ended up banging anyways.

Went back to undergrad for a weekend w/some fat joints from SF. Hate on SF dress, weather, and "faggoty dress". Hate on the "uptight women and hippies there".

Went into graduate school, hate on my age and my "immaturity". Hate on the fact that I can go out and bang girls.

One dude (who was a virgin) even had the gall to tell me "You only f-ck sluts" Lol, ok buddy (maybe some are sluts, but who isn't nowadays including the girls straight from korea with no english language who I am their first non-BF lay).

Coming back to home after dental school graduation, rolling up in a nice whip. "Nice whip" but a look of jealously.

Going to Thailand solo this Nov-Dec. Hate from everybody. "How many ladyboys did you pick up" blah blah blah. Coulnt help showing them pictures and seeing jaws drop.

Honestly, I am at the point that its registers on my mind that hate is everywhere.

Everybody has a fascade of pleasant-ness, but unless somebody has had similar experiences, there is no point in discussing it for the "hate factor"

Post: #18

You have to remember that most Americans really don't travel extensively, and those that do will go someplace "safe," like a resort somewhere. They'll go where English is spoken, and where they will be comfortable at all times. Like cruises to islands in the Caribbean. If they venture to Europe, it will ONLY be to places that are popular tourist destinations. They'll stay at a comfortable hotel, and take organized tours for the most part. Most don't really try to live and travel the way many of us do here.

Jealousy is also a major part of it, for someone with the ability to travel has no reason to be jealous. They just lack a willingness or desire to explore. For those that want to be can't, they should be all ears and ask questions of you. They should want to see pics and hear the stories, and use that as motivation towards the goal of doing that themselves some day. Tell them to get online and try to create hookups around the world, so maybe they'll end up not needing nearly as much money as they thought they might to go somewhere and enjoy. I post lots of travel pics on sites I'm on. My FB cover pic is the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, which I'm extremely proud of and took great risk to sneak. I dare someone to hate on that shit so I can blast them!

Post: #19

(01-12-2013 04:57 PM)DVY Wrote:  I started rocking bowties for about a year going out in SF, mad hate from dudes. Girls thought it was cute, stunning and questioned my sexuality, but we ended up banging anyways.

Went back to undergrad for a weekend w/some fat joints from SF. Hate on SF dress, weather, and "faggoty dress". Hate on the "uptight women and hippies there".

Went into graduate school, hate on my age and my "immaturity". Hate on the fact that I can go out and bang girls.

One dude (who was a virgin) even had the gall to tell me "You only f-ck sluts" Lol, ok buddy (maybe some are sluts, but who isn't nowadays including the girls straight from korea with no english language who I am their first non-BF lay).

Coming back to home after dental school graduation, rolling up in a nice whip. "Nice whip" but a look of jealously.

Going to Thailand solo this Nov-Dec. Hate from everybody. "How many ladyboys did you pick up" blah blah blah. Coulnt help showing them pictures and seeing jaws drop.

Honestly, I am at the point that its registers on my mind that hate is everywhere.

Everybody has a fascade of pleasant-ness, but unless somebody has had similar experiences, there is no point in discussing it for the "hate factor"

Haters going to hate!

Post: #20

I love how people tell me that all my traveling alone or to odd places was dangerous.
When in reality..I felt safer walking around at night in places like hungary and czech republic than I do in downtown atlanta.

Post: #21

everybody is different...some people are not interested in traveling... some peole love what they have at home and are content..so be it

sometimes ignorance is bliss

Post: #22

(01-12-2013 06:48 PM)garygroundwork Wrote:  everybody is different...some people are not interested in traveling... some peole love what they have at home and are content..so be it

sometimes ignorance is bliss

I occasionally encounter people like this, and I simply don't engage them. I'm not critical of them, but do think it's silly to believe that somehow you have the best of everything wherever it is you live. There are wonders and locales around the world that blow what we have here away. Some don't have the desire to see them. I'm cool with that. I actually encounter a few people around the world that have no desire to see the great cities in the US also. While the arrogant New Yorker in me wants to tall them they're wrong, I actually respect that. I was chatting with a chick in Moldova today that says she knows people in NY, but has NO desire to visit. And she's about to go on a 10 trip to Cyprus. I can't hate on her for that!

Post: #23

(01-12-2013 11:51 AM)Neo Wrote:  It's becoming extremely rare for me to find people who are non haters. It's gotten to the point where the past few years I don't even bother to tell people my future plans or goals. I accomplish more this way and don't have to listen to people who want me to fail.

This sort of thing happens in a lot of areas. It's like the human equivalent of water seeking it's own level. People don't like to feel like they are being left out or that someone is doing better and cooler stuff than them. Everyone around them confirms their identity so if you're traveling to a bunch of cool places even your 'friends' may resent you for it. You're no longer part of their group. When they see you on the rise they want to bring you down.

This

I think its just human nature, we came to this world prepared to hate and battle each other if necessary. Look at animals fighting within their group for dominance all the time and killing outsiders if they have to. Without civilization we would still be ripping heads off left and right. Its a part of us that would never go away until we evolve into a purely rational entity.

The way i see it the only people able to restraint themselves are the people with a highly evolved capacity for introspection.
I get yelled at at the streets all the time cause of the way i look, i got ton of haters and i fucking hate it, cause i dont do nothing to those guys, but at times i find myself hating too and i think to myself oh shit! why do i feel this way, i must not act like this.

So in this forum for example you got tons of guys that are heavy into self improvement that are not afraid to admit to themselves their shortcomings and flaws, thats what makes the difference.

I admit that im a hater too on occassions but because im aware of it im able to restrain myself and try to give positive feedback whenever i hear something telling me how well they are doing.

Over the last few years, ive change the way i approach friendship and meeting new people, i used to be polite and always willing to give another chance to friends that would fuck me over somehow, now i give the people one chance to get to know me. If they blow its fine its their lose, and i dont even bother anymore. I just keep them as acquaintance maybe a head nod here and there but thats it.

Post: #24

On the way back from work, I was thinking more about this "hate" ubiquitous in our society.

The more I think about it, the more grateful I am that people hate. Its the best caliper that I am going in the right direction.

When people's hate on certain topics turns toward ambivalence/hate/jealousy , ITS TIME TO CHARGE AHEAD.
When it turns towards acceptance, ITS TIME TO TREAD CAREFULLY
When it turns to mass worship, ITS TIME TO QUIT. Move unto other endeavors/location.

Post: #25

hummm... everytime any of my frds post about traveling, ppl usually respond positively, either saying OMG i'm so jealous! or like the comment... when I posted that I'm going to taiwan, it was the samething, one frd even mentioned a possibility of joining me... maybe you guys are meeting the wrong ppl haha