Post: #1

I think having a good social circle and getting invited to things is an essential part of game. It allows you to meet women and men who will provide more opportunities and access to women.

I moved to a new area and have zero connection to anyone around. my goals are, to build a social network, get some wing women, and get invited to things. How can I do this?

I'm socially competent but I have no idea how I'd start a social network from scratch, I do need to meet a couple of very well connected people to get the ball rolling though.

I'd like some tips on how I could cold/warm approach guys and girls, keep them around, continue warm but loose relations with a bunch of them, and get invited to things by them. Just a way to build or infiltrate a social circle. Once I meet an initial amount of people things will just snowball. I often get guy's/girl's numbers but have no way to continue relations because I have no reason or excuse to speak with them. Typically I'd makes friends and builds a social network by meeting guys or girls, and inviting them to things that my social circle is doing, but this isn't possible in my situation. I prefer to have more women in a network I'd have.

My issue is I have nothing to invite these girls and guys to since I don't have a social network. I also cannot host a party.

Although I think cold approaching a guy would be a bit different then what I'm used to, I don't think it would be an issue, but after getting his contacts I have no idea how to move from there. Because I have no social network, I have no where to invite him to, otherwise it would be weird to hang out with a random guy one on one with no particular goal in mind.

Any tips of building a social network/befriending these girls/keeping loose relations with a bunch of people?

Post: #2

It sounds like you don't do anything fun.

Examples of how I met my network:

- riding motorcycles
- US Marines
- sports

Do u think u would meet people if you decided to become an expert skydiver? Break out of what you know and have fun.

I imagine it would be hard to create a network from bar hopping at night with no chicks on you. On a plus, u can use ur alone time to focus on getting money.

Post: #3

go to an aa or na meeting

Post: #4

You should check out Thomas The Rhymer's threads on networking, there's some great stuff there

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Post: #5

Seek to provide value.

Post: #6

Be awesome. Don't be a leach. Give value.

Stop trying to "infiltrate" and start trying to make genuine friendships with people.

Post: #7

By providing value, you need to have a personality of worth.

I had a loyal friend in high school who was always about "meeting people" through HS and then college. With the many great influences he's had in life whether it be friends or family, he had trouble "retaining" the friends he met bc he never really carried his weight. His problem at the end of the day was that he didn't have any hobbies.

In order to keep others amused, you need to be able to keep yourself amused. What things do you do in your spare time? The hobbies and interests you invest in give you more ways to relate to the rest of the world while developing your value & increasing upon the subjects you can talk about. Those interests or hobbies therefore develop into a "personality."

At the end of the day, I've had some great influences you guys haven't had while you guys have had great influences I've never had. The key is to not just acquire these influences but to also evolve as individuals from the things, ideas, or people that have crossed our lives whether it be on a personal or social basis.

I don't get along with this so called "friend" anymore bc he continued to be a bitter idiot who never carried his own weight and became very passive aggressive while being overly co-dependent on me as well.

In a nutshell,
1) Possess multiple hobbies or interests of worth (foreign language, traveling, books, sports, humor, dancing, fitness, cooking, photography, art)
2) It will provide you with sanity when you're alone
3) It gives you something to discuss or refer to in social settings
4) When you possess a lot of interests, it gives root to this thing called a personality
5) These interests and personality give you more individual and social value to the outside world
6) When you have a great personality and many things to refer to, it stirs up your creativity even moreso.
7) You'll be able to entertain others now that you can entertain yourself
8) If you can entertain yourself & others, there's likely a good chance you can entertain the female species with your nonsense, which will result in you being able to bed them later on, etc, etc

Post: #8

- Befriend a couple of HOT girls. Instead of approaching like you want to bang them take different route. Be friendly. Tell them you are just out to have a good time.

- Create situation where it's appropriate to buy shots and make a toast "to new friends".

- Figure out who's the head bitch in he group. Exchange phone numbers. Tell them "till next time" and that maybe you'll run into them next weekend.

- Don't text them at all. You're not after them. No clingy shit.

- A week later when you go out text them to come out and join you for a drink or two. Whether they come or not is ok as you're out socializing with other girls in the same fashion.

- Repeat that until something sticks.

- When something sticks with some girls those girls will see you as cool fun guy to be around who doesn't want anything from them. You will hang out more often. Maybe bar hopping together. Maybe getting invited to their places/parties/events.

- That's when you network. Hot girls are popular and know lots of people and other fine girls. This is why it's different to befriend them instead of some ok next door girls.

- Don't worry about being friend zoned like a gay nice guy. Attractive guy is attractive guy regardless. Flirting, mutual comfort, standing out from other guys, being nonjudgmental about sex, coming up with some initiatives, etc, will do the job. So even when girls will be reserved towards you (BF/married/bad time in their life/break up/reputation/etc) they will be attracted to you (you take conscious effort to get better with girls, you're already much more attractive than VAST majority of all men).

Post: #9

(12-17-2012 11:47 AM)yb13 Wrote:  By providing value, you need to have a personality of worth.

I had a loyal friend in high school who was always about "meeting people" through HS and then college. With the many great influences he's had in life whether it be friends or family, he had trouble "retaining" the friends he met bc he never really carried his weight. His problem at the end of the day was that he didn't have any hobbies.

In order to keep others amused, you need to be able to keep yourself amused. What things do you do in your spare time? The hobbies and interests you invest in give you more ways to relate to the rest of the world while developing your value & increasing upon the subjects you can talk about. Those interests or hobbies therefore develop into a "personality."

At the end of the day, I've had some great influences you guys haven't had while you guys have had great influences I've never had. The key is to not just acquire these influences but to also evolve as individuals from the things, ideas, or people that have crossed our lives whether it be on a personal or social basis.

I don't get along with this so called "friend" anymore bc he continued to be a bitter idiot who never carried his own weight and became very passive aggressive while being overly co-dependent on me as well.

In a nutshell,
1) Possess multiple hobbies or interests of worth (foreign language, traveling, books, sports, humor, dancing, fitness, cooking, photography, art)
2) It will provide you with sanity when you're alone
3) It gives you something to discuss or refer to in social settings
4) When you possess a lot of interests, it gives root to this thing called a personality
5) These interests and personality give you more individual and social value to the outside world
6) When you have a great personality and many things to refer to, it stirs up your creativity even moreso.
7) You'll be able to entertain others now that you can entertain yourself
8) If you can entertain yourself & others, there's likely a good chance you can entertain the female species with your nonsense, which will result in you being able to bed them later on, etc, etc

I agree value is an important characteristic of having a social network and your post had some good things to say and I thank you for that. My question is geared towards more concrete ways to develop a social network.

XXL and Snowflake had the right ideas, so thanks!

Post: #10

If you're still having trouble with all of the above points, you should give meetup.com a shot. Regardless of where you live I pretty much guarantee that there are a number of meetups around you if you enter your city/zip code. Even if you don't know what category to start with, you can just click "Find a Meetup" at the top left.

I am not affiliated with them in any way, shape, or form. I am working on going out to more of these fun and networking events myself to meet people, learn things, and have a good time.

Post: #11

(12-19-2012 08:21 AM)Valhalla Wrote:  

(12-17-2012 11:47 AM)yb13 Wrote:  By providing value, you need to have a personality of worth.

I had a loyal friend in high school who was always about "meeting people" through HS and then college. With the many great influences he's had in life whether it be friends or family, he had trouble "retaining" the friends he met bc he never really carried his weight. His problem at the end of the day was that he didn't have any hobbies.

In order to keep others amused, you need to be able to keep yourself amused. What things do you do in your spare time? The hobbies and interests you invest in give you more ways to relate to the rest of the world while developing your value & increasing upon the subjects you can talk about. Those interests or hobbies therefore develop into a "personality."

At the end of the day, I've had some great influences you guys haven't had while you guys have had great influences I've never had. The key is to not just acquire these influences but to also evolve as individuals from the things, ideas, or people that have crossed our lives whether it be on a personal or social basis.

I don't get along with this so called "friend" anymore bc he continued to be a bitter idiot who never carried his own weight and became very passive aggressive while being overly co-dependent on me as well.

In a nutshell,
1) Possess multiple hobbies or interests of worth (foreign language, traveling, books, sports, humor, dancing, fitness, cooking, photography, art)
2) It will provide you with sanity when you're alone
3) It gives you something to discuss or refer to in social settings
4) When you possess a lot of interests, it gives root to this thing called a personality
5) These interests and personality give you more individual and social value to the outside world
6) When you have a great personality and many things to refer to, it stirs up your creativity even moreso.
7) You'll be able to entertain others now that you can entertain yourself
8) If you can entertain yourself & others, there's likely a good chance you can entertain the female species with your nonsense, which will result in you being able to bed them later on, etc, etc

I agree value is an important characteristic of having a social network and your post had some good things to say and I thank you for that. My question is geared towards more concrete ways to develop a social network.

XXL and Snowflake had the right ideas, so thanks!

Meetup.com and also try couchsurfing.org. What city are you in?

The good thing about meetup.com is that they will often have young professional groups/networking ones like a Junior League, etc if in a bigger city at least. The front for these professional networking groups is well...professional, but it's more often than not always used for social reasons as well. A lot of these events are held in trendy or happening establishments in prominent neighborhoods so it'll be a good opportunity to meet people within these meetings as you'll naturally get to drift into other circles at the bar as well. My city Dallas has a lot of these as I've met a ton of great people (in addition to creepers I prefer to avoid).

Post: #12

(12-19-2012 09:17 AM)yb13 Wrote:  

(12-19-2012 08:21 AM)Valhalla Wrote:  

(12-17-2012 11:47 AM)yb13 Wrote:  By providing value, you need to have a personality of worth.

I had a loyal friend in high school who was always about "meeting people" through HS and then college. With the many great influences he's had in life whether it be friends or family, he had trouble "retaining" the friends he met bc he never really carried his weight. His problem at the end of the day was that he didn't have any hobbies.

In order to keep others amused, you need to be able to keep yourself amused. What things do you do in your spare time? The hobbies and interests you invest in give you more ways to relate to the rest of the world while developing your value & increasing upon the subjects you can talk about. Those interests or hobbies therefore develop into a "personality."

At the end of the day, I've had some great influences you guys haven't had while you guys have had great influences I've never had. The key is to not just acquire these influences but to also evolve as individuals from the things, ideas, or people that have crossed our lives whether it be on a personal or social basis.

I don't get along with this so called "friend" anymore bc he continued to be a bitter idiot who never carried his own weight and became very passive aggressive while being overly co-dependent on me as well.

In a nutshell,
1) Possess multiple hobbies or interests of worth (foreign language, traveling, books, sports, humor, dancing, fitness, cooking, photography, art)
2) It will provide you with sanity when you're alone
3) It gives you something to discuss or refer to in social settings
4) When you possess a lot of interests, it gives root to this thing called a personality
5) These interests and personality give you more individual and social value to the outside world
6) When you have a great personality and many things to refer to, it stirs up your creativity even moreso.
7) You'll be able to entertain others now that you can entertain yourself
8) If you can entertain yourself & others, there's likely a good chance you can entertain the female species with your nonsense, which will result in you being able to bed them later on, etc, etc

I agree value is an important characteristic of having a social network and your post had some good things to say and I thank you for that. My question is geared towards more concrete ways to develop a social network.

XXL and Snowflake had the right ideas, so thanks!

Meetup.com and also try couchsurfing.org. What city are you in?

The good thing about meetup.com is that they will often have young professional groups/networking ones like a Junior League, etc if in a bigger city at least. The front for these professional networking groups is well...professional, but it's more often than not always used for social reasons as well. A lot of these events are held in trendy or happening establishments in prominent neighborhoods so it'll be a good opportunity to meet people within these meetings as you'll naturally get to drift into other circles at the bar as well. My city Dallas has a lot of these as I've met a ton of great people (in addition to creepers I prefer to avoid).

Yeah there are so many diverse groups of people that you really have to filter them out to find the cool cats and the dime pieces. Aim for the 20-30s crowd and don't pick something like "tech meetup" because the gender ratios are never in your favor there (although I've pulled from one before at the bar). Something like a language learning community (French Meetup) will be better, don't pick the ones at the giant corporate convention centers.

If you are at a bar, it may start out "professional" but you will usually be getting smashed at a bar in no time, and once the drinks start flowing you can turn that into a bang opportunity. Otherwise just run your standard coffee shop game and you're as good as gold.

Post: #13

(12-17-2012 10:07 AM)PJ25 Wrote:  Seek to provide value.

It's not an issue of value since I already had a social network but moved, so value is something I already have.

My question isn't so much, "how do I create value, how do I get hobbies, how do I get good character" since I posses these things and have had a social network, it's more, "how do I get a social network from SCRATCH"

but thanks for the meet up suggestions, it seems most of the groups in my area are professionals or singles in their 30-40 range. not really in my target demographic, but i'll search some more and update.

Post: #14

What's in it for them?

Post: #15

Be a leader. Organize people together to do things. Before people will follow your directions they must trust you, before they trust you they must value you. In order for them value you, you must show them why you are valuable. Try reading the book: Never Eat Lunch Alone.

Post: #16

I agree with this. instead of trying to hit on her, it's better to be friends with her for future leads.

But I don't think it will work in a bar situation since they just know what your intention is?

When a girl is hard to get, I just tell her we should just hangout sometime as a group. ('hey you should bring your friend over there too, you guys are cool')

It doesn't go anywhere. maybe they think I am not even worth to be their friends

(12-17-2012 02:57 PM)XXL Wrote:  - Befriend a couple of HOT girls. Instead of approaching like you want to bang them take different route. Be friendly. Tell them you are just out to have a good time.

Post: #17

(12-23-2012 06:57 AM)Sebastian Wrote:  I agree with this. instead of trying to hit on her, it's better to be friends with her for future leads.

But I don't think it will work in a bar situation since they just know what your intention is?

When a girl is hard to get, I just tell her we should just hangout sometime as a group. ('hey you should bring your friend over there too, you guys are cool')

It doesn't go anywhere. maybe they think I am not even worth to be their friends

(12-17-2012 02:57 PM)XXL Wrote:  - Befriend a couple of HOT girls. Instead of approaching like you want to bang them take different route. Be friendly. Tell them you are just out to have a good time.

When you meet ppl off of CS, Meetup.com, or other social circles, it's good to become friends with not just gals but guys.

Why Guys

1) Might find a good wingman
2) Might find a guy who knows a great deal about the city you're in
3) Might have some good looking female friends
4) Might know of other good social events or private house parties where you'll meet other chicks

Why Gals Obviously

1) They might have other good looking female friends if attraction doesn't exist between two parties
2) You can meet them up later on in group settings
3) When meeting them on individual or group settings, you can start off in the friend zone as the drinks flow, she might want to dance, make out happens, therefore ending up in sex zone
4) They'll of course know of other good social events or parties too

Post: #18

@Valhalla , What do you do besides work? I am being serious. Tell me what, if any hobbies/duties you have and I’ll be able to help.