Post: #1

Two of my closest mates (who I've grown up with) are now in exclusive relationships with their GF's, moved in together, bake coconut slices together etc. I'm cool with this (maybe not the latter, GROW SOME BALLS), but not when it interferes with their ability to go out and have a good time.

They have recently flaked on holidays I've organised, and various nights out, or insist they have to bring the missus. Neither of their GF's I'm fond of, domineering and manipulative. I see right through them and they naturally don't like me.

What do you do when your best mates get whipped?

Post: #2

You let them be.

Post: #3

Are these guys married or no?

Post: #4

(10-31-2012 09:01 PM)Alpha Hunter Zero Wrote:  Are these guys married or no?

No.

Post: #5

Less competition for you

Post: #6

If they do end up marrying these broads their attitudes are going to worsten. In my personal experience it's no use trying to interfere because it's only going to make matters worse and make them hate you as per their women. These guys need to reach a breaking point in their lives (something severe always instigated by the woman) that finally awakens them to what is really going on and trust me, the result aint gonna be pretty. I know it sucks watching by the sidelines as your friends get suckered on by these saidstic leeches but thats what you have to do. An intervention (high chance of not working) would require many dudes to put on the pressure and that would require a long period of seperation from these women, which they wont do out of fear. Until they want to help themselves there's unfortunately nothing you can do.

Post: #7

all i can say is once they get married it will be worse way worse. by then the cunts will really have your friends balls in their purse.

as for advice; lead by example. get as much ass as possible and make sure your friends are aware of the lifestyle your leading. jealously is a hell of a motivator for change.

Post: #8

I had to lookup what a coconut slice was. Get in my belly!! That will be my next gf baking request.

Post: #9

(10-31-2012 08:44 PM)Prophylaxis Wrote:  What do you do when your best mates get whipped?

There is nothing you can do except accept the fact that player/bachelor lifestyle is for very few, and your friends are not among those few. In fact I'd estimate less than 1% of the population is interested in it. The reason for this is that pussy chasing takes so much of your time that it leaves no time for anything else. If this isn't your passion, if this isn't what you live for, you're not gonna last long. And for the most guys this isn't their passion, and they jump this ship as soon as they can.

Post: #10

There's nothing you can do. They'll resent any help you offer because it's unsolicited. The only thing you can do for them is give them help/guidance AFTER they ask for it, and even then it's most likely that they'll fail and go back to being pussies.

Post: #11

You know what they say about you? Something like "You can't grow up." Everybody thinks their path is the correct one. What matters is if it's correct for you.

Post: #12

Unless they are your BEST friends, don't even both with them. Just tell them "I'm disappointed you can't come out with me" when they are forced to stay in with their girlfriends.

Meanwhile, make new friends.



If it is your best best buddy you've known since you were in highschool or whatever, then it's good to have a heart to heart with him. You won't convince him, but you will plant the seeds of doubt into his mind that there exists something better than his monogamous life with a bitchy woman.

Post: #13

No man can break the temporary spell that a new, seemingly secure, supportive, "feels right" relationship has cast on another man. We all yearn for approval, love, safety and will fight tooth and nail to not let someone else point out what a house of cards it is. women are very good at creating a pleasant illusion and slowly replacing it with stifling, choking demands, humiliations and annoyance. At that point most men withdraw internally, too weak to face the cold, scary situation of being on their own again, possibly maligned by their families and new social circle for having "failed". Being a gender realist and standing up for oneself in this women-centered society takes a lot of self-esteem and courage.

Post: #14

I remember asking Mentu about this, he just stated what I'd already known, despite being your best friends you just move away from them (not defriend them as such) and find like minded men. Eventually they'll just be acquaintances.

Post: #15

Thats just the start of it, I have friends who cannot understand the idea of wanting to have care free sex. I have female friends who ask me why I don't want a girlfriend, then there next question is but don't I want sex, like I need a girlfriend to have sex or a vagina won't open unless I ask out a girl.

These people are basically brainwashed into relationships, trying to talk them out of that thinking is like trying to tell people in north korea kim jong il is not god.

Post: #16

repost from returnofkings because I didn't sign it.
Stars don't have more to lose after marriage– they were wealthy; even 1/2 of the money left after their ex-wives divorce-raped them was enough to live like a king.

There is something to be said for marriage. I want to clarify that I would NOT get married in a Feminist state like America unless I was so wealthy I could lose half–twice– and still be wealthy. Minter is right that 1/2 chance of failure is too high when you are going to lose 1/2 of everything if you divorce.

I’m over 50 and never married, even though quite nice women asked me. I’m not hideous, or ugly. I wanted a hotter chick; was the plain truth.

But I suffered many, many times from deep loneliness– I think I forgot what it was like to feel wanted, cared about, they way I did when growing up in my calm, loving, two-parent household.

My father , who was alpha as fuck, on the beach at the invasion of Iwo Jima and manning a machine gun on the ship, said about marriage “It’s wonderful if you find the right woman.” My Mom was his second wife, the first was a bitch.

Of course, the brittle, angry, tough guy American male can’t admit these feelings of needing companionship. He may be in denial of it. He has his fishing rod, his PS3, he’s happy, and fuck you if you don’t believe he’s HAPPY DAMN IT. It sounds as convincing as women who say they’re happy with their cats.

I don’t buy it at all that this guy is happy now. I think he’s still stewing. Does he seriously sound happy to you, with his rabid cursing? Do you think his personality might have contributed to the unhappiness of his marriage? Do you believe he’s detached and content, and just emphatically wanring you?

I believe his insight is limited, but he telling you what he thinks honestly. But he also sounds like he’s still depressed and/or paranoid.

I do NOT plan on getting married in America. But my parents were really pretty happy.

For a lot of people, all those hundreds of evenings alone, cooking for yourself, or sitting in a restaurant alone, where is the simple everyday joy of sharing? Telling someone “The lady in the DMV barked at me and looked like a frog” and then laughing together. Do you really want people to believe you’re some caricature of a Marine, always alone, tough as nails and ready for battle?

Thousands, and thousands of hours, sitting alone. Your friends will be gone. Who will you spend time with ? Your “buds”. You’re still in your 20′s if you believe that “your buds” are going to be around much. True, you may be one of the people who can enjoy spending a lot of time alone. Then you can take a different path and be happy.

Minter’s argument that most of the time marriage shortens a man’s life is simply wrong. Married men live longer and are healthier.

http://www.health.harvard.edu/press_rele...th-for-men

It’s simply against nature for most people to be alone all the time. Just like it’s unnatural for a woman to tell a man what to do. No matter how smart you think you are, unless you have one of those naturally solitary personalities, or are rather paranoid and prefer to stay away from potential victimizers, you need to have people around. It’s biology and destiny. It doesn’t matter if you like it, just like it doesn’t matter if you like hypergamy. It’s the law.

I would recommend going somewhere where there isn’t an aberration like American feminism to persecute you for following your natural impulses however.

Post: #17

The fact of the matter is that there is nothing you can do about it. It happened with my best friend and it happened to me after I warned him.

In his case, she was manipulative and set him up just to tear him down (while running thousands of dollars of debt in his name). In my case, I became the "browbeaten husband of a Jew" (my bestfriend's words).

When a man is in love and his whole identity becomes that relationship (which is what men naturally do) he becomes deaf to the naysayers (not necessarily natural, but understandable).

Post: #18

(10-31-2012 08:44 PM)Prophylaxis Wrote:  

Two of my closest mates (who I've grown up with) are now in exclusive relationships with their GF's, moved in together, bake coconut slices together etc. I'm cool with this (maybe not the latter, GROW SOME BALLS), but not when it interferes with their ability to go out and have a good time.

They have recently flaked on holidays I've organised, and various nights out, or insist they have to bring the missus. Neither of their GF's I'm fond of, domineering and manipulative. I see right through them and they naturally don't like me.

What do you do when your best mates get whipped?

It's just an unfortunate part of growing up. I hear you when you say the missies are "domineering and manipulative." But realize its part of their natural gameplan/ power struggle and adjust accordingly. Even if your friends can't see through it, you can. Funny enough, I'm in a a situation where half my friends' gals DO NOT want their husband/BF out with me, and the other half don't mind. When I read your post- I realized what I did right with the ones who "approve" of me is pretend to like them, to talk with them, to complement them, etc. Co-opt them and get them on your side. Let her feel she's still "in charge," of your buddy, then manipulate her to no end. Your buddy will eventually see the light. Just sucks that most dudes are such spineless, Pottery Barn-fantasy enabling accessories.

Post: #19

(11-03-2012 10:10 PM)iknowexactly Wrote:  Minter’s argument that most of the time marriage shortens a man’s life is simply wrong. Married men live longer and are healthier.

http://www.health.harvard.edu/press_rele...th-for-men

You cannot evaluate the prospect of marriage without the prospect of divorce in the 21st century. Women initiate most of the divorces and men have little leverage once they wife up a female. So the effects of divorce should also be evaluated:

http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/heal...52478544/1

The bottom line is that Divorce wipes out the positive health effects that a marriage may have had. A better study would be to compare the life expectancy of a man who has been divorced and never remarried to a man who has never married at all.

Post: #20

This shit happens as you get older. You just have to accept it. If they are good friends, then make peace with hanging out with them in a different way. You're going to have to do more couples stuff and, eventually, more family stuff. It can be fun to spend the afternoon playing with someone else's kids and then getting the fell out of there to go find some strange.

Part of the bachelor lifestyle is finding new running buddies. No crew stays together forever.

Post: #21

(11-01-2012 04:16 AM)Samseau Wrote:  Unless they are your BEST friends, don't even both with them. Just tell them "I'm disappointed you can't come out with me" when they are forced to stay in with their girlfriends.

The key mistake you're making here is that they aren't forced. This is what the majority of the population actually prefers.

Quote:Meanwhile, make new friends.

This is a good advice. However as I said above, this lifestyle is for the very few. Therefore you must be prepared to lose every new friend pretty much the same way. Just take it as granted,

Quote:If it is your best best buddy you've known since you were in highschool or whatever, then it's good to have a heart to heart with him. You won't convince him, but you will plant the seeds of doubt into his mind that there exists something better than his monogamous life with a bitchy woman.

Waste of time. More likely you'll be labeled as someone who still can't grow up, i.e. he's not gonna take you seriously.

Post: #22

(11-06-2012 01:51 AM)oldnemesis Wrote:  

(11-01-2012 04:16 AM)Samseau Wrote:  Unless they are your BEST friends, don't even both with them. Just tell them "I'm disappointed you can't come out with me" when they are forced to stay in with their girlfriends.

The key mistake you're making here is that they aren't forced. This is what the majority of the population actually prefers.

Well fuck them if they don't wanna hang at all. Those aren't friends in any sense of the word.

Quote:

Quote:Meanwhile, make new friends.

This is a good advice. However as I said above, this lifestyle is for the very few. Therefore you must be prepared to lose every new friend pretty much the same way. Just take it as granted,

Yep.

Quote:

Quote:If it is your best best buddy you've known since you were in highschool or whatever, then it's good to have a heart to heart with him. You won't convince him, but you will plant the seeds of doubt into his mind that there exists something better than his monogamous life with a bitchy woman.

Waste of time. More likely you'll be labeled as someone who still can't grow up, i.e. he's not gonna take you seriously.

Actually, I gave this advice because it worked for me with another friend of mine, who I have known since high school. He's basically one of my closest friends.

He was in a relationship with an ultra bitchy woman. For the first year, I put up with it. Eventually I could not take it anymore and told him his girl was a cunt. He refused to believe it. I told him there were better women out there and he could have one if he put in the effort. He didn't believe me.

Then one time we hanging out and his girlfriend started a fight with me (2.5 years into their relationship). I told her to go fuck herself and called her a bunch of other names, and she walked out of the room. After that my friend did not talk to me for almost 5 months.


Suddenly, one day, he calls me up. His girl dumped him. I'm validated. He wants to hang out with me again. We've been spending a lot of time together again and he's ashamed of his past.

He's still a beta but at least he knows the truth.



So it is possible to keep friends who become whipped even if you stand up to them and fight them, because it plants the seeds of doubt into their minds.

Since those seeds contain the truth, it is only a matter of time before those seeds germinate into full fledged beliefs that will shape your friend's behavior. And since you're the one who has planted them, you're the one he'll come back to once he realized what he believed in was wrong.

Post: #23

(11-06-2012 02:15 AM)Samseau Wrote:  I told her to go fuck herself and called her a bunch of other names, and she walked out of the room. After that my friend did not talk to me for almost 5 months.

See this scenario has actually crossed my mind several times in the last year. I'm thinking picking a side and confronting the dragon might be a better route than playing passive-aggressive. At least your mate knows where you stand. Big risk, big reward I suppose.

Post: #24

^you pretty much have nothing to lose at this point besides two spineless dudes. Call the bitches out.

Post: #25

(11-06-2012 02:15 AM)Samseau Wrote:  Well fuck them if they don't wanna hang at all. Those aren't friends in any sense of the word.

That's what I said - there's nothing you can do besides just let them go. You can add "fuck them", this doesn't change anything (nor they would care).

Quote:He was in a relationship with an ultra bitchy woman. For the first year, I put up with it. Eventually I could not take it anymore and told him his girl was a cunt. He refused to believe it. I told him there were better women out there and he could have one if he put in the effort. He didn't believe me.

This doesn't mean she wasn't what he was looking for. Even here in America not everyone tries to get the best they could (and in Europe pretty much nobody does that; and being European myself I consider it ridiculous waste of life efforts), quite a lot of people are fine to settle up with someone they're comfortable with.

Quote:Suddenly, one day, he calls me up. His girl dumped him. I'm validated. He wants to hang out with me again. We've been spending a lot of time together again and he's ashamed of his past.
He's still a beta but at least he knows the truth.

Sorry to disappoint you buddy, but he'll do the same as soon as he meets another chick he's comfortable with. You are just his rebound. Don't expect too much out of it.

Quote:So it is possible to keep friends who become whipped even if you stand up to them and fight them, because it plants the seeds of doubt into their minds.

Unfortunately this is not the case at all.
Why?
Because she dumped him, and not vice versa.
If what you said was true, he would dump her.