megatron
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RE: Disciplining Kids
You know what I actually love to see? And, I know this may come out offensive, but whatever, I think I can safely say this because I worked with a lot of different types of parents, virtually all black, when I worked in the ghetto as a teacher.
The married black, involved parents: the best. They disciplined their kids. They spanked them. They ruled with love but often with fear as well. That's what most kids need. So they don't end up betas, or criminials or junkies or prostitutes.
WASP parents are fucking pussies. There, I said it. Thank God for the Southern and Eastern European immigrants here in the East Coast, parents who know how to scare their kids into submission if they're being fuckwads. Or else the entire white American people would all be a bunch of scared, sackless dweebs. With almost half of them only having one of these dweebs as parents, nowadays.
Sad. I know a lot of you are agnostic or whatever, but Americans used to be happier and more stable when we used to be a more religious country.
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| 11-02-2012 12:06 AM |
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Architekt
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RE: Disciplining Kids
(11-02-2012 12:06 AM)megatron Wrote: You know what I actually love to see? And, I know this may come out offensive, but whatever, I think I can safely say this because I worked with a lot of different types of parents, virtually all black, when I worked in the ghetto as a teacher.
The married black, involved parents: the best. They disciplined their kids. They spanked them. They ruled with love but often with fear as well. That's what most kids need. So they don't end up betas, or criminials or junkies or prostitutes.
WASP parents are fucking pussies. There, I said it. Thank God for the Southern and Eastern European immigrants here in the East Coast, parents who know how to scare their kids into submission if they're being fuckwads. Or else the entire white American people would all be a bunch of scared, sackless dweebs. With almost half of them only having one of these dweebs as parents, nowadays.
Sad. I know a lot of you are agnostic or whatever, but Americans used to be happier and more stable when we used to be a more religious country.
Religion was pretty much the perfect implementation of the "rule with fear and love" ideal.
ie; You fuck up bad and you goin' to hell, son. But just remember, the gods will reward you for being a good boy. It was a fantastic idea that got really out of hand. If people could be taught the ideals of religion, but with a more immediate effect (since today's generation can't comprehend something as far away as the afterlife, nor do they probably care), it would probably make the world a better place - for those willing to follow, at least.
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| 11-02-2012 03:19 AM |
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Lukecan
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| 11-06-2012 03:01 AM |
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bojangles
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| 11-06-2012 09:06 AM |
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The Fantasist
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RE: Disciplining Kids
(11-07-2012 03:49 AM)oldnemesis Wrote: (11-06-2012 09:23 AM)Moma Wrote: I totally disagree with the bolded. Children need to have fear of something.
They fear the punishment, which doesn't have to be physical. Look at the teachers at the school, they maintain the discipline in the class without any need to slap the kids, and it is typically better than at home.
Speaking as someone who has an 8 year old daughter I concur entirely.
I don't smack my daughter,not because I have a moral problem doing so,but because I simply don't need to. My daughter knows if she misbehaves she will go to her room until I allow her out. And she knows I follow through with my threats of punishment so she does not try to challenge my authority. Also slapping teaches her that violence ( I use the word lightly ) is a way to accomplish things in life,when it isn't. If the milk man forgets my milk I don't punch him,so why my daughter?
My father was a terriblly naughty child,always in trouble. His father beat the shit out of him every time he did something bad,had zero effect except now my father hates my grandfather for being such a violent parent ( my grandfather broke my young fathers bones ) and it made my father hard as nails and violent. So if such extreme chastising doesn't work a slap won't either. It's a myth. Every hood rat in the ghetto was beaten,did it stop criminality?!
I would take a guess that almost everyone saying beat a child doesn't actually have a child.
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| 11-07-2012 05:23 AM |
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The Fantasist
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RE: Disciplining Kids
(11-07-2012 05:55 AM)bojangles Wrote: (11-07-2012 03:49 AM)oldnemesis Wrote: (11-06-2012 09:23 AM)Moma Wrote: I totally disagree with the bolded. Children need to have fear of something.
They fear the punishment, which doesn't have to be physical. Look at the teachers at the school, they maintain the discipline in the class without any need to slap the kids, and it is typically better than at home.
Teachers in school don't even maintain discipline anymore, children at schools threaten teachers employment by using blackmail and feigning incidents. It's turning people away more and more from wanting to become teachers, the whole PC environment around schools has meant indisciplined children are the norm.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-...viour.html
Before to most children getting punished at school and having your parents notified was the worst case scenario, you'd be punished at school and then your old man would be on your case which you as a child tried to avoid at all times.
The Mail article is saying the banning of caning has led to a decrease in discipline,but that's bollocks. I was at boarding school in the UK and we were slippered up to 12 years old and then caned from 13 years onwards. Made not a blind bit of difference to any of us. It was a mark of respect to get 6 with the cane,the slipper ( which was really a sports shoe ) didn't hurt at all if you got less
then 6. There was an Arab boy who was caned by his house master every night before lights out because he was so naughty and his parents insisted his house master try to beat him into subservience. Never worked one iota,he was still naughty. I was caned a few times and it stung ( especially if the stroke was off and got you on the back of the hamstrings ) but not enough to scare me not to be naughty again. The only punishment that really worked a letter to our parents or having our weekend 'exiat' pass denied.
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| 11-07-2012 06:38 AM |
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bojangles
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RE: Disciplining Kids
(11-07-2012 06:38 AM)Vorkuta Wrote: (11-07-2012 05:55 AM)bojangles Wrote: (11-07-2012 03:49 AM)oldnemesis Wrote: (11-06-2012 09:23 AM)Moma Wrote: I totally disagree with the bolded. Children need to have fear of something.
They fear the punishment, which doesn't have to be physical. Look at the teachers at the school, they maintain the discipline in the class without any need to slap the kids, and it is typically better than at home.
Teachers in school don't even maintain discipline anymore, children at schools threaten teachers employment by using blackmail and feigning incidents. It's turning people away more and more from wanting to become teachers, the whole PC environment around schools has meant indisciplined children are the norm.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-...viour.html
Before to most children getting punished at school and having your parents notified was the worst case scenario, you'd be punished at school and then your old man would be on your case which you as a child tried to avoid at all times.
The Mail article is saying the banning of caning has led to a decrease in discipline,but that's bollocks. I was at boarding school in the UK and we were slippered up to 12 years old and then caned from 13 years onwards. Made not a blind bit of difference to any of us. It was a mark of respect to get 6 with the cane,the slipper ( which was really a sports shoe ) didn't hurt at all if you got less
then 6. There was an Arab boy who was caned by his house master every night before lights out because he was so naughty and his parents insisted his house master try to beat him into subservience. Never worked one iota,he was still naughty. I was caned a few times and it stung ( especially if the stroke was off and got you on the back of the hamstrings ) but not enough to scare me not to be naughty again. The only punishment that really worked a letter to our parents or having our weekend 'exiat' pass denied.
Fair enough mate, but people feel times have changed here, maybe there's other social circumstances not just disciplining your kids which have led to these.
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| 11-07-2012 08:30 AM |
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Walderschmidt
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RE: Disciplining Kids
I think that corporal punishment is a must for disciplining kids.
They need something to fear that is tangible - getting sent to your room nowadays means going to my computer to listen to music or play XBox or computer games. One of my punishments used to be missing desert. After a while it didn't phase me. I would sneak desert or just didn't care. I used to be punished by being forced to eat cheese sandwiches - that too eventually lost it's power over me.
I always respected corporal punishment.
I'm not saying beat the shit out of your kids - I believe there is a right way and a wrong way. For example, spanking is a good way to do it. You make big sounds (sounds scary), it hurts like hell, and it does not really cause lasting damage other than a sore butt. If I did not eat my vegetables at the dinner table like I was told to or I talked out of line, I would get a smack. Not to the face mind you, too the head (forehead I guess).My father used corporal punishment on all children equally. He taught me to never hit girls as I grew up, but when he spanked my sister as hard as he spanked me, I knew the score.
He didn't always have to spank me or slap me - often times hearing what happened to my siblings when they misbehaved was deterrent enough. I've since developed a habit of trying to learn from other people's mistakes.My father never beat the shit out of me and stopped using corporal punishment at a certain age.
It was clear that when I got punished, it was because I did something wrong, and not to just beat me. I feared disappointing my dad as much as I feared his punishments.
I learned early on that if I admitted my mistake and that I was wrong in doing it, my father would help me correct the mistake and then punish me later, but more lenient. I still feared punishment, but I understood that he was about solving problems and proper behavior, not punishment.
My father has grown more mellow with age. Currently my dad does not use or need to use corporal punishment for me to follow his rules. I know if I get pissy or insubordinate he's more than capable of showing me who's boss should I overstep that boundary. Nowadays, my Dad rewards me for good work instead of punishing me for bad work by helping me travel to the places I want to go (paying for some of the trip cost). I try to do well to make him proud, but also so that he sees it worth to help me do what I want in terms of fun. My parents have no problem with me bringing girls home. We have an unspoken agreement that I don't cause trouble and I get left alone. It is now of more worth to try to do the right thing and not piss off my parents than to do otherwise, even though I grow more independent each year.
By many parent's standards, my parents are fairly relaxed. It is easy to relax a tight leash, but hard to rein in a loose one.
I would say that there is a right way and a wrong way to discipline - but at the end of the day - how you raise your kids is up to you and no one else.
Wald
(This post was last modified: 11-07-2012 04:49 PM by Walderschmidt.)
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| 11-07-2012 04:36 PM |
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Moma
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RE: Disciplining Kids
(11-07-2012 05:23 AM)Vorkuta Wrote: Speaking as someone who has an 8 year old daughter I concur entirely.
I don't smack my daughter,not because I have a moral problem doing so,but because I simply don't need to. My daughter knows if she misbehaves she will go to her room until I allow her out. And she knows I follow through with my threats of punishment so she does not try to challenge my authority. Also slapping teaches her that violence ( I use the word lightly ) is a way to accomplish things in life,when it isn't. If the milk man forgets my milk I don't punch him,so why my daughter?
My father was a terriblly naughty child,always in trouble. His father beat the shit out of him every time he did something bad,had zero effect except now my father hates my grandfather for being such a violent parent ( my grandfather broke my young fathers bones ) and it made my father hard as nails and violent. So if such extreme chastising doesn't work a slap won't either. It's a myth. Every hood rat in the ghetto was beaten,did it stop criminality?!
I would take a guess that almost everyone saying beat a child doesn't actually have a child.
I disagree. I didn't say brutalise the child, I said they need to fear some physical reprise.
You may be lucky you have a child that listens and you also have a girl but it is within the psychology of some to laugh their arses off at timeouts. They do not work across the board.
If timeouts work, great but a smack is also good.
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(This post was last modified: 11-07-2012 05:02 PM by Moma.)
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| 11-07-2012 04:56 PM |
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