Post: #51

It does not matter where the couple is physically located. If you decided to have an LTR with a woman from a different culture you will need to deal with her culture and that almost always implies a level of accommodation and compromise. It is not unique to Asians, if you have a rel with a South American you are going to have to respect and learn whatever culture she is from. East European? Ditto. It is not a sign of weakness to learn and respect another culture, it's exactly the opposite. It is smart, it is strong. Westerners accommodate others because we are in a position of strength. The weakness is in thinking you have to dominate like a ruthless Ottoman monarch. The truly strong have others go along with them because they sense the strength. The truly strong have the intelligence and good sense to accept reality, and reality is that if you learn and respect other cultures you will be much happier for it in most cases. Of course there are exceptions. But in the case of Asian culture, and Indonesian culture in particular it is well worth doing so.

Post: #52

I think East Asian women are very easy to keep happy if you evidence self discipline, hard work and ambition. The expectation is that you're going to work hard to provide for your family, be a stable influences and not make excuses for why those things are too hard. "Following your dreams" and other such horse shit isn't acceptable and there isn't much concept of a "work / life balance".

The deal is that you work and provide and she takes care of the home, raises the kids and gives you sexual release. It's very transactional and your value is based on your value to the family. In Asian cultures, physical attractiveness and charm are far less important than wealth and intelligence.

WASP women were the same way before the massive prosperity and feminism that came in the post-WWII era. This is why you see the "nerdy types" attracted to them - because these types of men tend to earn more and work harder than your average white male, and are appreciated by Asian women and their families accordingly.

Post: #53

(08-16-2018 07:19 PM)tylerburden Wrote:  

(08-16-2018 06:46 PM)Spaniard88 Wrote:  Grow up, man.
[..]

You're naive and reality just slapped you in the face.

Raise your SMV, or more like your MV, and you won't have to experience these kinds of difficulties. Or don't, and blame it on "Asian girls."

Get real.

Dude, why the need to be so condescending, seriously? I'm well aware of what you're saying and you do have a point. I was naive when I met her, and learned my lesson.

There are many guys out there who may come across the same type of rich Asian girl studying in Europe or elsewhere. I'm warning them about the possible pitfalls.

However, it's also about the pedestalization of Asian women in general. Those poor girls from Asia or other regions popular in the manosphere also have their issues, and the message of my post is exactly this - AWALT.

So it's not about trashing Asian women. It's a wake-up call to the manosphere to get real and stop the disinformation machine. You're missing the whole point.

No offense but your original post is very condescending
I mean you are talking about young rich girls living abroad in different countries. Need I say more?
You don't even need to know game/understand women to know how these women act
Just watch modern tv/movies. Young rich girls are stuck up and entitled, everyone knows that bro

Post: #54

(08-21-2018 10:01 PM)the_legend Wrote:  OP was this girl raised in the West or back home? Most Asian girls in the west are to westernized to allow their parents to run their lives.

Hi there, she was raised back home.

I think some people posting here mistakenly think she was super rich. As I said earlier, middle class. Pretty much raised as the only child - otherwise studying abroad would likely have been out of the question. Don't forget education is relatively inexpensive in many European countries and there are students handouts even for those from non-EU countries. Even so, she couldn't afford to spend much at all.

Just to put things in perspective.

Post: #55

The reason why people would be confused is because you mention in the first post that she is upper middle class and that the mother buys 'luxury' items in front of you.

Middle class in the Western sense isnt as applicable and the gulf of those with and without here is vast.

Was this in the Netherlands, they have a lot of educational grants that allow those who otherwise wouldnt have the opportunity to study abroad.

Post: #56

(08-22-2018 11:27 AM)Jefferson Wrote:  Interesting thread.

[..]

Hi Jefferson, appreciate the comment and your criticism. I didn't want to imply that it's specific to Asian women, although I was taken aback by the very materialistic mindset. The problem back then is I was simply not familiar enough with the way things work in Asian countries - I was too naive at that point and hadn't even been over there yet.

You know, I wasn't even looking for an Asian girl at that point, although the idea had certainly crossed my mind and I had often entertained the idea of doing just that. But then I just happened to meet her and to some degree I thought it had been handed to me on a silver platter. Lots of shared values, a similar outlook on life, shared faith. It's only later that I realized just how daunting the cultural divide can be and how unprepared I was for all this. I'm not too proud to admit that. Moreover, I'd say I hadn't fully swallowed the red pill yet. I still believed in unicorns. I wasn't exactly familiar with AWALT just yet. I learned it the hard way.

Reading Return of Kings and other red pill sites, I got rather fed up with the amount of articles and folks promoting Asian girls (or any other non-Western girls, really) and that got me thinking just how many of us young men are reading this stuff, and because they're so fed up with the way things are in the West, are buying into it without being told the whole story, and end up with black/white thinking along the lines of "Western women suck, Asian girls are the way to go". So I wanted to put things a little in perspective here so perhaps they can learn from my mistakes. More importantly, to reiterate AWALT before they completely give up on finding a decent Western woman or venture off to SEA (or anywhere really) unprepared and chasing a fantasy.

Post: #57

(08-23-2018 07:54 PM)KYT88 Wrote:  The reason why people would be confused is because you mention in the first post that she is upper middle class and that the mother buys 'luxury' items in front of you.

Middle class in the Western sense isnt as applicable and the gulf of those with and without here is vast.

Yeah, I do see how I may have confused people there but alas, no way to edit my original post. You know, the problem is even I can only guess as to their status, really. There were so many conflicting things I saw and heard - and the luxury thing was largely a matter of keeping up appearances and rubbing my comparative lack of purchasing power in my face.

Post: #58

(08-22-2018 10:18 PM)CleanSlate Wrote:  Alright, yeah, I missed that. But that further proves my point -- his experience was with a rich girl studying in Europe while they were living in Europe, and her parents treating him like shit while they were in Europe.

Then he comes to this forum and proceeds to broad-brush all Asians, at least half of the world's population by conservative estimates, based on his own unique experience.

If the girl's family had the attitude of entering someone else's house and saying "you gotta follow my rules!" and he allowed it, then it's on him. He chose poorly and then turns around and blames all Asians for it.

You seem triggered somehow but I'm not "blaming all Asians" for anything. If you read my posts, you'd see I even take some of the blame for having been naive. I'm warning people to be better prepared than I was and embrace AWALTIAW - All Women Are Like That, Including Asian Women.

Post: #59

(08-23-2018 08:24 PM)tylerburden Wrote:  

(08-22-2018 10:18 PM)CleanSlate Wrote:  Alright, yeah, I missed that. But that further proves my point -- his experience was with a rich girl studying in Europe while they were living in Europe, and her parents treating him like shit while they were in Europe.

Then he comes to this forum and proceeds to broad-brush all Asians, at least half of the world's population by conservative estimates, based on his own unique experience.

If the girl's family had the attitude of entering someone else's house and saying "you gotta follow my rules!" and he allowed it, then it's on him. He chose poorly and then turns around and blames all Asians for it.

You seem triggered somehow but I'm not "blaming all Asians" for anything. If you read my posts, you'd see I even take some of the blame for having been naive. I'm warning people to be better prepared than I was and embrace AWALTIAW - All Women Are Like That, Including Asian Women.

Fair enough, but your thread title says otherwise.

Post: #60

(08-22-2018 10:02 PM)Teutatis Wrote:  

(08-22-2018 09:28 PM)CleanSlate Wrote:  

(08-22-2018 08:50 PM)Teutatis Wrote:  Why is it always the western man or woman that needs to learn, respect and adapt to everyone else's culture and never the other way? Westerners need to start getting their damn pride back and stop being so weak.

If someone is in their house or on their territory, then he needs to learn, respect, and adapt to their culture. Going into someone's house and say "hey, you gotta follow my rules too!" isn't going to go over well.

Same exact thing if we're in the US and we have immigrants demanding that we learn THEIR language instead of them learning English.

It's not a matter of pride or weakness, it's a matter of courtesy.

Did you miss that it was her and her family who were living in Europe and not the other way? By your own words they were the ones who should be the most respectful since they're in someone else's home. And what I said applies to all western world, it's always westerners who in their own countries and societies have to bend over backwards to accommodate everyone else and respect cultural differences but there's no reciprocity.

I couldn't agree more with what you said. I think I explained in my original post why as Westerners we are in a weak position in these situations - it's partly because of a different mindset. Had I been living in Asia, my family would surely have meddled in the whole affair and have had their say, and things would have been "balanced out". In this situation, everything was on me and nobody had my back. The difficulty I had was in knowing just how far I had to go in accommodating her culture and tolerating her family's involvement - and of course, my ignorance was duly exploited. Eventually, I did pull the plug but I should have done so much earlier.

Post: #61

(08-23-2018 08:32 PM)CleanSlate Wrote:  

(08-23-2018 08:24 PM)tylerburden Wrote:  

(08-22-2018 10:18 PM)CleanSlate Wrote:  Alright, yeah, I missed that. But that further proves my point -- his experience was with a rich girl studying in Europe while they were living in Europe, and her parents treating him like shit while they were in Europe.

Then he comes to this forum and proceeds to broad-brush all Asians, at least half of the world's population by conservative estimates, based on his own unique experience.

If the girl's family had the attitude of entering someone else's house and saying "you gotta follow my rules!" and he allowed it, then it's on him. He chose poorly and then turns around and blames all Asians for it.

You seem triggered somehow but I'm not "blaming all Asians" for anything. If you read my posts, you'd see I even take some of the blame for having been naive. I'm warning people to be better prepared than I was and embrace AWALTIAW - All Women Are Like That, Including Asian Women.

Fair enough, but your thread title says otherwise.

CleanSlate, "all is not gold that glitters" means just that - "it's not as good as it seems". That doesn't translate into saying "All Asian women suck" in my book at all.

Post: #62

Funny that dudes are disqualifying girls in Asia for not being well-read. If you want to talk books, make some guy friends. Girls hardly have good opinions even when they are well-read.

I'll take my "uneducated," sweet asian girl any day of the week over your educated white girls.

Post: #63

(08-23-2018 08:04 PM)tylerburden Wrote:  

(08-22-2018 11:27 AM)Jefferson Wrote:  Interesting thread.

[..]

Hi Jefferson, appreciate the comment and your criticism. I didn't want to imply that it's specific to Asian women, although I was taken aback by the very materialistic mindset. The problem back then is I was simply not familiar enough with the way things work in Asian countries - I was too naive at that point and hadn't even been over there yet.

You know, I wasn't even looking for an Asian girl at that point, although the idea had certainly crossed my mind and I had often entertained the idea of doing just that. But then I just happened to meet her and to some degree I thought it had been handed to me on a silver platter. Lots of shared values, a similar outlook on life, shared faith. It's only later that I realized just how daunting the cultural divide can be and how unprepared I was for all this. I'm not too proud to admit that. Moreover, I'd say I hadn't fully swallowed the red pill yet. I still believed in unicorns. I wasn't exactly familiar with AWALT just yet. I learned it the hard way.

Reading Return of Kings and other red pill sites, I got rather fed up with the amount of articles and folks promoting Asian girls (or any other non-Western girls, really) and that got me thinking just how many of us young men are reading this stuff, and because they're so fed up with the way things are in the West, are buying into it without being told the whole story, and end up with black/white thinking along the lines of "Western women suck, Asian girls are the way to go". So I wanted to put things a little in perspective here so perhaps they can learn from my mistakes. More importantly, to reiterate AWALT before they completely give up on finding a decent Western woman or venture off to SEA (or anywhere really) unprepared and chasing a fantasy.

Hi Tyler, what do you think your mistake was though? It sounds as if you think it was to pick an Asian, or an Indonesian girl. Or do you mean not to be aware of the material demands women would make? Look, I know what you mean about the material mindset, it can be more in the open with Asians, mostly due to the being confronted more with poverty in their countries. But this is a universal trait of all women. It is not an Asian trait per se, hypergamy, seeing what men can offer, is what women are all about. Everywhere. It is a bit of a shame that your relationship did not work out, as it sounded like you were both serious, and you have my sympathies in having to deal with family. That can often be a nightmare. Why do you think it failed though? It sounds as if you think it was the Asian subculture, but that is not really a redpill insight. I don't think the failure was due to any particular trait of all Asian, or even all Indonesian women. But one would have to know the full circumstances. Anyway, don't let this deter you from Asian or Indonesian women. Just take it as a valuable lesson.

Post: #64

(08-20-2018 02:51 AM)remarkable vigour Wrote:  

(08-19-2018 04:29 AM)flyinghorse Wrote:  Great post, mate. I agree with nearly everything you wrote.

I find them a little lacking in personality - haven't met too many well read Asian women.

It would be more accurate if you said "I haven't met too many well read women".

I used to live in a college town and there was an abundance of well read women.

Post: #65

"Asia" is a big place and there are a lot of Asian women. Of course, what we mean here is "oriental" women since we are not discussing Russians or Indians. I take it that the OP's ex was Chinese and upper-middle class. China alone has over 200 million women between the ages of 20 and 34., about 6-times the number in the USA. Then there is Korea and Japan. Then there is a dividing line and you have Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos, Burma and the Philippines (which is sort of its own thing). Then you have Malaysia and Indonesia.

Three general regions, 11 different countries plus bit players like Taiwan, Singapore and Brunei so more than a dozen different cultures and sensibilities. You can't simply "Asian women" together, even less so than saying women from Texas, California, Rhode Island and Nebraska are all the same since they are American.

I grew up in Toronto (10% Chinese, about 30-50% in the North East, Agincourt and Markham), spent 7 years in Vancouver (20% Chinese, 56% in Richmond) and now I have been living in China for 6 years. I have also visited Thailand and the Philippines. I spent 3 years in Toronto teaching business at a private high school catering mostly to Chinese foreign students. In China I teach ESL to high school students.

There are at least two different worlds: 1) my observations of the Chinese dating scene including social science data and 2) my own experiences.

Most Chinese girls snag a boyfriend in high school or college and then court for at least a few but perhaps several years before marrying them. Nationally, 80% of Chinese girls are married before the age of 25. That has to be taken with a grain of salt (as with the 4% national divorce rate) because that includes the 60%+ of the population who are peasant farmers.

Most Chinese girls do not speak English well enough to have a relationship with unless you speak Chinese. Plus, most Chinese girls do not want to date or marry a foreigner.

The major exceptions to the above two points and the general pattern are those UMC or above living in cosmopolitan, tier one cities like Hong Kong, Shanghai and Beijing. There are also pockets in various tier two cities, especially those with significant ex-pat communities.

The rest tend to be outliers. If "mudsharks" are a thing, then maybe they are "snow dogs" or something. Even then, a lot of parents don't want their daughters marrying white guys (or any foreigner) unless they are fairly wealthy and cosmopolitan.

I lived in Changzhou for a year. It is an hour by bullet train from Shanghai and my class schedule was such that I had every second Friday off. So twice a month I would head to Shanghai for a long weekend. I used OK Cupid and could set up anywhere from 1 to 4 meetups/dates. I was in my mid-forties and my target market was late 20s to early 30s. They were universally smart, professional, well educated with good English. Most ranged from pretty to gorgeous with the occasional plain one. Some ONS was there but I never hit it off with any of them until the very last week in the country. She was a fashion model and we had a great time but nothing came of it that weekend.

A couple of years later I was back in China and living in Jinan, a second tier provincial capital. I was introduced to a colleague's husband's colleague and after a double date we started going out. Things went on for a year or so and got rather serious but there were two glitches. As with most Chinese women she had a concern about money. She didn't care that I wasn't rich and didn't badger me about making or spending money. However, she was obsessed with making money herself and worked long hours such that sometimes we would go two or three weeks without seeing each other. Not much of a "relationship". Second was that her mother (her father had died several years ago) was racist. When my gf discussed us getting serious with her mother she was told, " I can't stop you, but if you marry him then you are on your own."

We broke up and I tried my luck at OK Cupid again. As a tier two city, pickins were slim but I met a beautiful 26 year old - 5'9", about 130, with big eyes and Angelina Jolie lips. This too got serious but she had some emotional problems and daddy issues (I was a year older than her father). She has family troubles and argued a lot and her father beat her on occassion. She left home, which is very uncommon for a single Chinese girl in her 20s. There was also the issue that her family would freak if they found out she was getting serious with a white guy who was older than her father. While apparently serious she was flaky, noncommittall and sometimes ghosted me for days at a time. I got sick of that shit and all the family drama and dumped her after a weekend sex romp where she dressed up in a sailor suit.

I moved to Shenzhen, just outside of Hong Kong. For the mist part, I just didn't give a shit. I dated through OKC again. As I hit 50 I had list the inclination to play the dating game. In the background, however, was that model in Shanghai. I passed through the city and we went out on another date. The next year I was there again and we went out on a third date. This time, she completely jumped my bones. Three date rule. . . spread out over 4 years. The next year she moved to Nanchang to live with her parents and I saw her twice more: once as a weekend romp and again while on a business trip.

This could have had legs but she had money issues. She was a daddy's girl dilettante who did modelling and copy writing for a magazine but mostly lived off her father. He was a businessman making about $100k at current exchange rates. He didn't have issues with her dating foreigners but any son-in-law of his had to make at least as much money as he did or he threatened to disown her. This may have been a convenient excuse to land herself a rich guy (by Chinese standards) but in any event, it sort of closed off any long term prospects although she nagged me several times to "do business" on the side as a way to double or triple my income. Not as simple as she would make it sound. Meanwhile, her dad kept setting her up with rich businessmen that he knew. She said they were ugly and okd (which turned out to be the same age as me). She went out with them, they would buy her gifts, and then I would show up and fuck her brains out.

It was at that point that I met my future wife, a Filipina working in China. She's cute, sweet, smart, 4'11", 92 pounds, 17 years my junior, domestic and rather traditional. Hard working and industrious: owns property in the Philippines and is building a custom house on the lot. She has 3 sisters and a brother and there is a lot of family drama, but since we live and work a few thousand mikes apart that doesn't manifest itself more than the occasional heated telephone call (in Tagalog. . . while I step out for a walk).. Since she works overseas her parents and extended family consider her wealthy (by Philippine standards) and that impression has only become worse now that she has married a foreigner. The only other problem is our nightmare visa situation of two foreigners from different countries trying to live and work in China. We seemed to gave worked that out. I reconnected with my contacts in Jinan and I start a new gig at a 20% pay increase with her in tow starting in September.

The point here is that different Asian countries have different types iof girls and within each country there are enough exceptions that you can eventually find one who isn't so stereotypical.

Post: #66

Further to my last. . .

Post: #67

Thanks for sharing your story with some detailed points OP.

It is interesting how a feminine, traditional wife from a non infected country is not always the silver bullet many forum members believe.

I've never found Asians to be that attractive (other than they are mostly slim and feminine) but when in Thailand, seeing a white babe walk down the street amongst 100 thais, she always blows them all out of the water in my eyes.

It seems an Asian can be has hard on a man as the Russian woman, who is my favorite flavor. We going to need balls of steel to deal with them!

But the older I get, the more I accept that women are great to play with and taste good, but FUCK MARRYING THEM.

Again, thanks for sharing mate.

Post: #68

Seems like all three relationships didn’t work out because of parents. Is that the model the first pic?

Post: #69

The thing is, most Chinese girls are rather plain looking. They tend to clean up well because they are slim with long hair so a bit of makeup, a hair dew and some nice clothes go a long way. Day to day however, they just look plain with strait hair, frumpy clothes and oversized glasses. If a white chick stands out in a crowd of Asians it's probably a) she's taller - although there are a lot of tall Chinese girls Shandong, b) they have blonde hair - although some Chinese girls dye their hair blonde too or c) they would stand out in a crowd of western women anyways because they are objectively good looking. A typical American girl parachuting into a Chinese university campus would not be better looking than the majority of the co-eds.

Now, if you don't like almond eyes then that is fair but a lot of guys do or otherwise don't care.

If you aren't in the marrying frame of mind then it doesn't matter what ethnic background the chick has, from your point of view. After my mid30s I tightened up my standards for women. By 40 I was full on serial monogamy rather than playing the field and by 50 I was just tired of the game so I was looking to settle down.

Maybe not a silver bullet - and I didn't come to China as part of some grand pussy hunting strategy - but really, I think I got a better deal than I would have found back in Canada, especially Toronto, in terms of a marriage partner and probably 80% or more casual relationships short of pay-for-play.

I would not recommend marriage to about 95% of guys under 30, 90% of guys in their 30s. In your 50s you are either 1) in the top 5% or 10% of your peer group and can still pull girls under 30 or 35 2) financially secure enough to pay-for-play on a fairly regular basis or 3) looking for your best available play to settle down with.

Post: #70

It's the model in the first pic. She was a photo model as she was too short for the runway. Sailor suit girl could have been a model if she slimmed down / toned up.

In the case of underware girl, it is an open question as to whether she still would have wanted to marry up. Her dad's logic was a bit perverse: marry rich and I give you more money, marry poor and you can stay poor. The parents didn't care who she dated in terms of nationality but they were particular about finances.

For the one in blue, it wasn't her mother that tanked things although her mother would not have made anything easier if we wanted to have kids. In China it is fairly common for the grandparents to take care of the toddler so that the mother can get back to work without worrying about daycare expenses. She wasn't willing to do that.

With sailor suit girl, the fallout with her parents was sort of a blessing since she no longer cared what they thought and I never had to worry about interacting with them. It was actually her grandparents (who basically raised her for the first 12 years) that she didn't want to alienate as they were rather traditional. She wanted to ease into things slowly over the course of a couple of years, but it was still her own emotional problems that made me pull the plug on things.

The OP's story seems to illustrate my point that UMC Asians who are cosmopolitan don't care about your ethnic background but you end up dating or marrying the whole family and they will meddle in your relationship. If the girlvis independent of her family (decent job, doesn't live with them) you don't get as much of that although it may mean they are on fucked up terms with them.

Post: #71

(08-16-2018 02:18 PM)tylerburden Wrote:  To illustrate just how far this can go, I know of a guy who desperately wanted to get married to an Indonesian girl who had been studying in Europe. He would travel abroad to regularly meet her but she would never make an effort to visit him, despite being from a rich family. Her Muslim parents were skeptical so he went as far as to convert to Islam just to be accepted. They married in Indonesia and had a big, fat traditional Indonesian wedding as this was her mother's wish. It must have cost a fortune. His family headed over there to attend. Notice how the Western party would comply with all demands and the Asian party dominated the entire relationship. Quite a price to pay for a woman who may eventually divorce rape you as they now live in Europe.

I'm a British guy of Indian heritage so I can see the western and eastern point of view when it comes to marriages.

The guy who converted to Islam already lost. He should have held his frame and said, "fuck you, my religion is non-negotiable". Plus she's full of shit too - if she was a good Muslim girl she wouldn't even be dating, she would have had an arranged marriage with a Muslim guy. In Indian culture, the woman's religion is irrelevant. The kids will be raised according to the father's beliefs.

I know a British Hindu guy who is married to a British Muslim woman. They met at university, dated for a few years, and then decided to get married. He was never going to convert. His mother tried to do everything in a respectful way, she even sent an invite to her mother for the wedding. When the wedding took place, her mother didn't come and out of all of her siblings only one sister attended. After the wedding I asked him how he felt about his wife's family not attending - he said,"fuck them. We did everything right and they still chose to to come."

After a few years he had some kids, and asked him how the relationship is with her family - he said "it's great". I asked him if he had made any effort with her family - he said, "no, if they want to talk to me, they come to me. After I had my kids, then they wanted to get to know me and see them. They come and visit all the time now. I've never changed in any way".

Men should go into marriage with their eyes wide open if they want a woman from any Asian country - family always comes first in these cultures, and when you marry into these cultures, you don't marry her, you marry her family. A man has to hold his frame when dealing with her family - it comes down to respect - do they respect him? Does he act in a respectful manner to the family? Does he act like he has any balls on him?

If a woman really wants you, she will make the effort, and even go against her family. I used to work with an Indian guy in Los Angeles who started dating an exchange student from China. After she went back to China she kept in touch and then she came back to the US to study grad school full time so she could be with him. His family wasn't cool with her at first, because she wasn't Indian. His parents relented and they've been married a couple of years and have a daughter together.

It seems like a lot of western guys lack confidence in their own culture. Be proud of your culture, and learn how to be polite and respectful, but also how to politely say "fuck you".

Being of an Indian and British background, I'm very proud of my background - I troll most east Asians by telling them that half of them worship an Indian (The Buddha). I am very familiar with Chinese culture and banged many Chinese women, but I don't look up to their culture. I appreciate it's difference to western and Indian culture, but do I want to change myself to become more like the Chinese? Fuck no.

Post: #72

(08-26-2018 07:06 PM)WalterBlack Wrote:  Men should go into marriage with their eyes wide open if they want a woman from any Asian country - family always comes first in these cultures, and when you marry into these cultures, you don't marry her, you marry her family. A man has to hold his frame when dealing with her family - it comes down to respect - do they respect him? Does he act in a respectful manner to the family? Does he act like he has any balls on him?

I do not have experience marrying into Asian families, but I do have experience with LTRs and getting to know the girl's family. I found that I didn't have much trouble getting accepted and respected by the male members of the family. In that regard, Asian men are not much different than Western men: if you are a well mannered, well put together man, you will gain their respect. It has it's nuances and particularities in Asian cultures, but that's basically what it still comes down to.

Female family members, however.... Fuck me, it's like dealing with shit tests from all of them instead of just from your girl. It happens indirectly too, where they try to pull shit behind your back or whisper poison into your girl's ears while simultaneously being all polite in your face. You really have to put your foot down as soon as you even suspect this. And god have mercy on your soul if you happen to make anyone lose face in the process.

Post: #73

(08-16-2018 07:51 PM)Dasein Wrote:  I think the problem is that you really missed the whole point of everything. The lesson is not AWALT at all. Instead, the lesson is that quality feminine women from good cultures and families are going to look for someone that can support a family. Not AWALT. There are shitty single mothers all over the place who would totally be fine with just having a man. There are cultures in Latin America and in other parts of Asia like the Philippines where popping out kids with no planning is just the way things go. There are my single mom section 8 tenants who did not care if they had a future with a man, they just wanted to have kids to get their rent paid.

The whole point of going for foreign women is that many of them are not like that. Let's take this excerpt:

"I didn't have much stability, and neither was I able to save much despite a very simple lifestyle, but she was unable to understand how expensive life actually is in the West, and how difficult it's become to find a stable job. So rather than acknowledging and encouraging my efforts to keep improving my situation, she'd criticize my choices, and be pushing me to get another degree and whatnot. This didn't stem from a genuine concern for me, as I initially thought and as she and her mother would later claim, but from self-centered concerns about her future with me."

So, she saw that you were barely getting by and were not saving much. She was frustrated with your financial situation. She also saw that you were frustrated with your own financial situation. Your mutual frustration lead to your angry outbursts. She probably brought up ways that she thought you could change your life to be able to support a family. What you are calling self-centered is just a very basic desire for stability. To know that kids spawned with you would not end up on the streets or dependant on her parents. That is why the family was concerned.

This is exactly right. No better way to say it.

OP, you can't really paint "Asian woman" with such a broad brush. If anything, I see some good qualities in the woman you were with. She knew what she wanted in life. She made it clear to you. She was close to her family. It didn't work out, but sometimes it doesn't. Still better than messing with western women.