Post: #1

What's up guys,

Long story short I am 24 and really feel that I am at a point in life where I have influence over the trajectory of the rest of my life. I went to school for finance and recently moved to a new a city. I just got a sales job in private equity industry, but really don't know what my big picture is in life.

Just to give some insight, I feel like I have been living my life for other's expectations. I really don't have any skill that I've mastered which is my own fault. My true desire is to live a location independent lifestyle and be financially free. I enjoy writing, so copywriting is something I've considered learning. Also, programming as I know AI is going to be huge. It's just a lot of confusion on my part...it's like I want to do one thing monday and then something different on tuesday. I am a true scatter brain.

In regards to my social life I do not really have one. I exercise every day and play my sport once a week with a group of people and that's it. After a couple of breakups I swallowed many red pills which has resulted in removing myself from dating all together. The only reason I mention this is because it has added to my existential issues. I feel a lot of animosity towards women.

I suppose I am looking for some input from someone older than myself who found themselves in this situation as a young adult. I don't want to look back on my life with regret. The reason I moved 1000's of miles from my hometown was to develop some self understanding, but it is so difficult. Any advice would be much appreciated.

This sort of turned into a small brain dump. TLDR; 24 year old seeks advice on finding his path in life.

Post: #2

I'm also in the Finance/Accounting space.

I can offer up my Finance data sheets. Links below.

They're not just about Finance but rather some of it is about selling yourself. I'm also now in a sales role. So you will especially like Part 3. Of course this is career focused and believe me its more important than pussy.

I'll offer more advice later.

Post: #3

(07-18-2018 10:18 PM)Mikeyd03 Wrote:  What's up guys,

Long story short I am 24 and really feel that I am at a point in life where I have influence over the trajectory of the rest of my life. I went to school for finance and recently moved to a new a city. I just got a sales job in private equity industry, but really don't know what my big picture is in life.

Just to give some insight, I feel like I have been living my life for other's expectations. I really don't have any skill that I've mastered which is my own fault. My true desire is to live a location independent lifestyle and be financially free. I enjoy writing, so copywriting is something I've considered learning. Also, programming as I know AI is going to be huge. It's just a lot of confusion on my part...it's like I want to do one thing monday and then something different on tuesday. I am a true scatter brain.

In regards to my social life I do not really have one. I exercise every day and play my sport once a week with a group of people and that's it. After a couple of breakups I swallowed many red pills which has resulted in removing myself from dating all together. The only reason I mention this is because it has added to my existential issues. I feel a lot of animosity towards women.

I suppose I am looking for some input from someone older than myself who found themselves in this situation as a young adult. I don't want to look back on my life with regret. The reason I moved 1000's of miles from my hometown was to develop some self understanding, but it is so difficult. Any advice would be much appreciated.

This sort of turned into a small brain dump. TLDR; 24 year old seeks advice on finding his path in life.

Hello and welcome.

You should have a browse over at the Wall Street Playboys blog. You are close to their target audience.

http://wallstreetplayboys.com/

Rumor has it that a former RVF member is the person behind that blog.

Read a few of their blog posts, and then if that clicks with you, get their Efficiency e-book since it basically summarizes the major blog content up to when it was written.

Based on what you've written the sky is the limit. It's time to focus, and by the time you hit your 30s you'll be living a very solid life.

We're all gonna make it!

Post: #4

@ Cobra thank you for your response. I read your 3rd data sheet, it is very well written and I will attempt to apply that knowledge as best I can. The honest truth is that in regards to networking I really haven't mastered a skill that would be of value to anyone, in professional situations I tend to feel the "imposter" syndrome which is something I will have to work on. Thank you again.

@Penta- Yes, actually I have read their blog. Their advice in regards to not taking it easy in your 20's resonates with me. The only issue I have with the blog is it is very oriented on the external. It is a black and white depiction of what your life should be..."You should be a millionaire by 30, invest in income producing assets, etc". Financial freedom is important to me, but I am a very modest person. There is not much in this world I want more than the freedom to do as I wish with my time (which is why i desire financial freedom). On another level I want to offer my gift to the world and that is really what I desire to find, what is it that I can excel to a level of mastery.

But I agree with you brother, I think that's what drew me to this forum is that "sky is the limit" mentality of the users here. Thanks for the response.

Post: #5

TLR

If you do things right financially earlier in your life then in your 40s and 50s you will be content with your choices.

If you don't do things right financially then by your 40s and 50s you will end up bitter and twisted.

>Even If< you do everything right financially earlier in your life by the time you get to your 70s you won't give two shits about that anymore.

What you will matter will have been people, the people you shared your life with, not the HB9s you spent a week on the beach with once in Monte Carlo, the people that you shared your life with long term, the extent to which you were able to love them and to receive their love. The ways in which you were able to act that demonstrated that shared emotion. (People plural, not just some wife or lover)

That is the one thing life does not teach us while we are young. And if we ignore it we end up more and more reliant on physical and material mastery and gains which by their nature are not wholly satisfying and the satisfaction gained from which proves far more temporary.

Post: #6

The words you use prompt me to suggest a workbook I've found immensely helpful to illuminate and articulate my gifts. It's also helped me see how various hobbies all relate to each other and given my work added meaning. I suggest you buy and work through (write in!) the paperback version of "Is your genius at work?" by Dick Richards.

Source: early 40s entrepreneur after living multiple lives in tech.

P.S. This is a starting point, not a destination, but it will make so many aspects of your life click in ways you can't imagine. Give it a go and feel free to PM with comments / questions.

Post: #7

Quote:Long story short I am 24 and really feel that I am at a point in life where I have influence over the trajectory of the rest of my life.

You have the first point down, at least for those who don't naturally take to being in the higher echelons of a domain. I know people who are 10 years older than you who never come to the point you are at now. They are just floating and being carried by the ripples of other people's movements. This is the route the mediocrity at best.

If you orientate yourself with goals and stick to pursuing them, you are already in the minority of people. And once you have reached your first small goals, you gain confidence and can move on rapidly. At the moment, the whole edifice of Western society is more or less set up so this never happens for most people. Use that to your advantage. Most people aren't even really competing.

I'd also second the advice to focus more on making money and shooting towards loc. independence over women. I sacrificed pretty much all other aspects of life to become loc. independent. Particularly because of the colossal amount of blue pills I'd swallowed, having a girl around could have sunk it.

Looking back at my life I can see various points at which it could have turned into me being just a fairly well salleried wage slave. And one of them is when the couple of girls that approached me who would have steered my gamma life in their hamstring direction.

When you are location independent, in the sort of places you will go to it's quite likely that the girls will expect an age gap of 5-15 years if they are towards 18 and 10-30 if they are towards 30.

In terms of the global market, your options are better as a early 30s location independent guy out in developing countries than it is as a employee in the US.

The last point I'd add is that your have quite a lot of doubt and uncertainty. You will get rid of that if you give yourself challenges that you overcome that replace them with confidence. The personality changes through experience. Those experiences will all be going places you don't want to go and making decisions you are unsure of. Another reason why so many people are not even competing.

Post: #8

(07-18-2018 10:18 PM)Mikeyd03 Wrote:  What's up guys,

Long story short I am 24 and really feel that I am at a point in life where I have influence over the trajectory of the rest of my life. I went to school for finance and recently moved to a new a city. I just got a sales job in private equity industry, but really don't know what my big picture is in life.

This is called a quarter-life crisis. These feelings will help you get your life going in the right direction. Remember at age 23 your brain finally gets done growing.

One of the big realizations in my life came too late. I really wanted to start my own business, but it requires 2 big things. You have to be able to take risks, and it requires money to start.

If you want to start your own business and become location independant... then start putting money into it now while you can take risks. I blew all my disposable income at your age on traveling places and now I have a family to support... so I can't take risks anymore. Add this to the advice others have given you!

Post: #9

(07-18-2018 10:50 PM)Mikeyd03 Wrote:  @Penta- Yes, actually I have read their blog. Their advice in regards to not taking it easy in your 20's resonates with me. The only issue I have with the blog is it is very oriented on the external. It is a black and white depiction of what your life should be..."You should be a millionaire by 30, invest in income producing assets, etc". Financial freedom is important to me, but I am a very modest person. There is not much in this world I want more than the freedom to do as I wish with my time (which is why i desire financial freedom). On another level I want to offer my gift to the world and that is really what I desire to find, what is it that I can excel to a level of mastery.

But I agree with you brother, I think that's what drew me to this forum is that "sky is the limit" mentality of the users here. Thanks for the response.

No problemo.

I too have that issue with WSP. Reading their content, if you aren't working in tech sales and don't have a million+ net worth by the time you're in your early 30's, you're just a failure at life. But then again I'm probably not their target audience. As for having lots of money and wants, it's good to have a modest mentality, but it never hurts to have lots of cash in the bank and coming in. If you truly are modest, when the money comes rolling in, you'll still be able to maintain your simple and free lifestyle.

Post: #10

Go read some of Aaron Clarey's books. Bachelor Pad Economics and Reconnaissance Man. Live simply. If you don't have a Passport, apply for one now. I also paid extra to get a Passport Card to carry in my wallet. Go get a Global Entry card (includes TSA-Pre). Get a good travel card, I'm very fond of the Chase Sapphire Reserve and use it to pay for your Global Entry. There are lots of good travel hacking videos on YouTube, I'll be buying my next overseas plane ticket with points.

Look up Kyle Trouble, he has some great stuff on location independent businesses and is a good guy to talk to. He also has a lot of good life advice.

Start listening to "The Art of Manliness" podcasts. Some really amazing stuff there. Be warned, I've spent quite a bit on books by the authors he has interviewed.

But really, I mean it about getting a passport. Whenever somebody mentions dealing with a foreign client or work site, let them know you have a passport and can leave in a matter of a couple of hours. In fact, if necessary, you can head to the airport immediately and buy what you need when you get there.

Post: #11

You are doing great. Your sales job in Private Equity seems like a good gig. Congrats on achieving so much at 24.

You are young and have plenty of time to figure things out. Location independence is a good idea, but if I were you I wouldn't necessarily give up on great career opportunities at this stage to try to become a freelancer or "digital nomad". Just like there are good and bad traditional jobs, there are also good and bad location independent businesses. We hear a lot from successful location independent entrepreneurs who brag about their successes on YouTube, forums and blogs, not from ones who have to come back home after they fail, live with their parents and take shitty jobs due to having large resume gaps.

You have the following options which you can also postpone or sequence depending on what's best for you at different life stages:

-Stay in your current job, make money, get valuable experience and contacts.
-Transfer to a better city in the US or even overseas. What part of the world and what kind of women are you interested in? There are Private Equity shops in places like Hong Kong and Singapore, for example. Obviously NY can be an option as well.
-Start a side gig which will eventually become a location independent source of income. Start it while you are working and quit when you make enough money and see good potential to make even more.
-Work until you become financially independent, then retire as early as possible. After that, you can do location independent work as well but you won't have to rely on it for making ends meet.

Take your time and be strategic when it comes to making decisions about your life and career. Live below your means, invest as much as possible, be careful with marriage and children, develop good habits and avoid bad ones.

Post: #12

Women are but men must become.

As a young man, your goal in life is to become a man. You become a man by doing hard things, suffering, and becoming more hardened to life. This also provides the deepest sense of satisfaction.

Women, money, travel, even "friends" are external and fleeting.

Post: #13

Thanks to everyone who has responded, it's all amazing advice.

@bien: I couldn't agree more, people are very important. I have seen a few family members die at a young age and i always said to myself they will never be remembered for their money, grades, external success, but the memories they gave to the people they loved. thank you for the response.

@truth tiger: I will check out that workbook ,thank you for the suggestion! I am all about adding meaning to my work.

@endsexpect: Thank you, yes working for myself is something I absolutely hope to do.

@Gework & cool: Thank you for the responses, both of your responses suggest embracing challenge and welcoming pain coming into yourself as a man. This is something I would really love to hear more on. I am curious how you went about this, is it as simple as doing things you fear (aka public speaking, going out alone, etc.) or do you mean "suffering" in the sense of discipline and just banging out what needs to be done to attain your goals?

@chicane: Thank you for all those resources, I will check them out. I haven't read those books! and i love to read.

@Brodi: Thanks, that's great advice. You're right, you really don't hear about the digital nomads that fail or simply flounder out because their skill becomes obsolete over time. I am currently in Tampa, I just moved a few months ago from midwest. In regards to what women I desire, I personally love latinas/the blonde Norwegian type. But like I said women are no longer much of a priority for various personal reasons. Never lived out of the country before, but I do speak spanish so perhaps latin america. My personal opinion is that long-term the economic power is shifting to the east, could be wrong. "marriage" haha! No way! Thanks for reminding me though!

Post: #14

The red flag that stands out to me is not having a social life and being 1000's of miles from your hometown. Social connection is an imperative aspect of your health so don't underestimate it. If possible, develop relationships with coworkers or the people at your gym since you exercise daily. Make a habit of talking with your friends from your hometown on a regular basis.

I'm a huge proponent of health and fitness but exercising daily isn't necessary in the context of going to the gym. If you know what you are doing you can go to the gym a few days per week and spend 15 minutes walking outside on the other days. I'm not saying everyone should avoid exercising daily. You can exercise daily if you have the time but I think a lot of guys overdo the frequency of going to the gym when they could use some of that time to improve other things like sleep, nutrition, social connection, etc.

Also, welcome to the forum and thanks for following up on your thread. Best of luck.

Post: #15

Good thread. I am in the similar situation in terms of age (albiet a bit older than op) and deciding whether to locate overseas or get the benefits that a career in a big liberal city is providing me. Although I could technically relocate later this year, I feel that I need to make the sacrifice and stick it through for a couple of more years to reach my target.

From my understanding the mid 20s are really when you should be making moves with your career. By either getting started or at least on the right trajectory with a five year plan in mind. As you'll have to make lots of sacrifices which ultimately you can make during you twenties, because you have more energy, more resilient and most likely not going to be providing for a family.

Good thing about living in a lot of parts of the world, in terms of women. Is that men in their late twenties to late thirties still have access to good looking younger women. To be fair even in the U.K, it is pulled off, but especially in countries which still place an emphasis on marriage and family.

Post: #16

OP if you grind it right you can make enough cash young. I know quite a few guys who make 200k+ before 30 and will never make less than that again if they don't want. I should get there too. Almost there but not quite.

Key is to find a high paying career with a good chance of success and ride it. Starting a business is a crapshoot -- you can try, just be aware of the possible of failure.

Post: #17

The confusion you're experiencing is normal. One piece of advice I can give is really focus and stay the course. Unless your finance gig is absolutely unbearable, stick with it. Be careful of dabbling and not becoming an expert.

Things come to fruition over a long period of time. I'm in a different field, but when I first got out of university I was debt ridden and making shit. I was frustrated with my field of choice and decided to take a detour. I did learn a lot, but it wasn't a good decision. I went back to my field of expertise, gave it my all, and specialized even more. It worked out for me. I gained a great network and do pretty well. Finance is a good field with a lot of potential.

The other piece of advice is learn how to negotiate well and maneuver inside an organization politically.

If you do decide to start a business/side gig, do it on the side. It's much easier to succeed when you have a 'f you' fund.

Of course, the live simply, avoid debt, and the other things we talk about on here also apply.

Post: #18

@BirthdayCat; Thanks for your reply, I agree with you on the social connections. I am a bit introverted, but I know from my past that I have the capacity to be an extrovert (it seems that the extrovert side is just harder to sustain) although it would probably add a bit of control to my social life. Working on my nutrition also, currently trying to put on some weight.

@constitution: I feel you man, make those big moves! Feel that I am in the same boat as you in regards to influencing trajectory. Hopefully in a couple years we'll both still be on the forum and can look back at this thread with some joy. Really though for me it boils down to being able to have power over my life and where i am taking it. I know there are objective measures like wealth, status, women, etc (and in all truthfulness i am no where near where i'd like to be in those external criteria) but at the end of the day I just want to find my lane and ride out a journey. Right now life is a bit monotonous and routine oriented, sometimes I don't feel as if I am truly living. Not sure if you can relate to that, but thanks for the reply.

@Qwerty: Grind it I shall! In this current position I am hoping to build a foundation (sales) that could hopefully translate into a side gig (which i'd like to be on internet). I don't know if you've read Millionaire Fast Lane, but the concept that stuck with me in that book was that internet businesses do not have an upper limit in regards to customer reach (aka scale)...obvious, but I think sometimes people overlook.

*Probably better asked on Entrepreneur thread, but i'd love to hear from anyone who has found success making income online.

@Neo:Thank you for you advice neo, it really is helpful hearing from someone who has experience. I will try to be as persistent as I can....but if it ever does become "unbearable" (big if) i wouldn't hesitate to walk away. Moving through an organization politically, i will take that to heart too. Thank you! I'll try and find some books on that topic.

Post: #19

(07-26-2018 10:30 PM)Mikeyd03 Wrote:  @BirthdayCat; Thanks for your reply, I agree with you on the social connections. I am a bit introverted, but I know from my past that I have the capacity to be an extrovert (it seems that the extrovert side is just harder to sustain) although it would probably add a bit of control to my social life. Working on my nutrition also, currently trying to put on some weight.

Some good advice here from other members! I've added some of the books to my reading list, thanks all.

Background on me: I'm a few years older than you, location independent and have attained financial freedom by my owned mind and hands.

@brodiaga mentioned moving abroad - I did that and it was great for me, but it's not for everyone.

At your age my social life was poor, my environment detrimental, my finances a mess and I *really* felt like a looser. I knew I was a capable guy with plenty to offer, lots of hunger for life but due to poor decisions I was where I was. And it was draining on my wellbeing. What happened is that miss opportunity arrived one morning and I was presented with an opportunity abroad and after close consideration I went for it (I was very well prepared mentally for an opportunity like this).

It involved moving to another continent for a job and it made all the change for me. Have never regretted it even though it's been tough. I'll try to make it short n sweet:

- The highs / success you experience will feel much better as you made a big decision and you yourself made it happen
- The lows will be tough as you are alone, but it builds character and make you mentally strong
- You learn a lot about yourself. I've changed from being very shy to comfortably manage teams of people
- It's lonely at times as you will be far away from your safe harbour and developing deep relationships can be tough
- On the other hand you are forced to go out there and meet people. With the right location you can meet fantastic people
- I have lived a much more rich life abroad than I did at home as I've had greater exposure to other cultures, more people, mindsets, business and opportunities have been much more plentiful to me than back home
- It's much easier for me to meet people now than it was back home

This lead to me finding my edge, my skillset and honing them until I could see money coming in. From that point I've become location independent, and for me this is a great life because it has been my design, no one else. I focus on becoming a better version of myself an make myself proud instead of society or those around me.

Bottom line is this was the right choice for me, but might not be for you. What I did was look deep within, understand my values and what was important for me. When you figure out that, it's easier to make a decision. You sound like a capable guy with lots to offer. You are further than most, trust me. You have all you need to chase the life you truly want.

Have a read of this article from Wallstreetplayboys (It's void of that 'become a millionaire by your 30s or you're nothing'). I found this experiment very useful.

I'm happy to go into more detail if you have any questions.

Post: #20

Don’t focus on money. Focus on doing something you love. We spend the majority of our lives working so whatever you do (whether working for yourself or someone else) you must be passionate about it and it needs to fulfill you - otherwise you won’t be willing to put in the long hours every day to make it successful. And when you get good at whatever it is you want to do, the money will come.

“Failure is just a speed bump on the road to success” - Tony Robbins. We learn more from our failures than we do from our successes. Most highly successful business owners went through huge failures to get where they are today. It’s easy to live a comfortable life and fit in, but our greatest achievements come from working harder than everyone else and taking bigger risks. “God put the best things in life on the other side of fear” - Will Smith. To get inspired watch some videos from Steve Jobs, Will Smith’s YouTube channel, Dwayne Johnson’s instagram channel, also Tony Robbins life coaching videos.

Do you have a life coach / mentor? Just like atheletes we need coaches / mentors to encourage us and guide us through life. Find someone older who has achieved success who would be willing to mentor you regularly. And write down your short and long term goals. There’s a YouTube video where Harvard did a study that found people who wrote down their goals were much more likely to achieve them in life than those who didn’t.

This forum is great for advice too

Post: #21

Well to start, I am not an older guy (22), so I can't really give you any advice.

I'll say this; you are not alone in your situation. I feel remarkably similar to how you described.

Facing similar circumstances, I have decided to go all-in, and pursue online income abroad. Will it work? I think so. If it doesn't, What did I lose? A few months of my life spent exploring and experiencing different food culture and women? a few thousand dollars?

I think the real 'risk' is not going for it. Mentally exhausting yourself, in a sterile depressing society, while living with the dream of making it happen. That's not living at all.

Anyways, that's my two cents. If you want to PM me and bounce ideas back and forth, or update each other on our goals, feel free!

Be well