Post: #1976

@Jake Roberts, just read my earlier post.

I meet the girls usually at a classy or above average bar and present myself well dressed.

When I bring the girls home, depending on the girl (if she has been with rich ballers or not), I sometimes tell them that this is my second apartment which I use time to time to crash as its nearer to my work place. I tell them how the apartment is expensive and I am actually paying for the location( the location is pretty sweet in reality, however the apartment is below average). As for the roommate, I make up stories saying that I have my friend and his family over temporarily as they have just moved to the city and are looking for a new apartment.

It's all about being confident and maintaining frame. Sometimes there will be girls who do not buy it. I do not care, if they have come to my apartment then they are free to leave anytime. If they stay, that usually means a bang. I make sure my room is comfy and has a nice TV.

Till few months back I use to have an air mattress and nothing much. I still banged girls at my place. However, it did take a lot of bullshitting and some girls did freak out. The other solution I used to use was book a express hotel deal using priceline or hotwire and then bang the girls there.

Now I do not care much, and just bring the girl to my place most of the times. If I know that the house is dirty (because of my roommates kids) or my roommate's family would be awake or I didn't clean and prepare my room, then only I would get the express hotel deal.

For guys who actually have a decent apartment, you know, maybe a gated community or a high tower apartment with all those amenities and facilities such as a nice pool, then you are in luck as you guys should really exploit these kind of logistics. SA girls especially the young college ones love these kind of apartments as they haven't been treated to ones in real life yet. So when they experience these kind of logistics, they feel overwhelmed and then do not care much about money, thus increasing the bang potential tremendously.

Post: #1977

(07-10-2018 10:37 PM)bk19xsa Wrote:  For guys who actually have a decent apartment, you know, maybe a gated community or a high tower apartment with all those amenities and facilities such as a nice pool, then you are in luck as you guys should really exploit these kind of logistics. SA girls especially the young college ones love these kind of apartments as they haven't been treated to ones in real life yet. So when they experience these kind of logistics, they feel overwhelmed and then do not care much about money, thus increasing the bang potential tremendously.

Yeah, that is actually what happened with the girl I mentioned in this post. She was an undergrad girl and was really impressed with my place, both the location and amenities. But still, the most it got me was a 2nd date blowjob, and she wouldn't get together a 3rd time without discussion of money.

BTW, I actually got back in touch with that girl. I texted her again, and it turned out she was looking for an "allowance" even after I reassured her I was happy to pay for stuff like waxes and transportation expenses. She went to the beach for a week with her family, but called me on the phone when she got back, just to say that she "really enjoyed meeting me" even though what I was looking for wasn't what she was looking for. I was so surprised she actually called that I told her that: "most girls today just go ghost." She said she figured she should call me because she did enjoy meeting me and the dates we did have. Couldn't figure that one out. What could she have gotten out of calling me? Some of you will probably say I should have been able to game her over the phone into meeting up again, but I didn't have the faintest clue how to do that, so I let it go.

(07-09-2018 07:10 AM)Ferrari Wrote:  Need to know where the sorority type girls went to!

I have had the same thought. If there's a category of hot young girls out there who are just curious about dating older, more successful guys, and they used to be on SA, but are not anymore... where are they now?

(07-09-2018 10:04 PM)bk19xsa Wrote:  @AznMarkZuckerberg came across that site after a google search from what Cattle Rustler mentioned in his post. However, I do think I had come across that site once before, maybe a year ago, but did not pay much attention to it. It does seem a female version of RVF with a lot of black girls posting on it for some reason.

There is a newer thread on the cautions of not saving for a sugar baby when she is with a sugar daddy.

https://www.lipstickalley.com/threads/wh...e.1317717/

So many insights into sugar baby game here. The thread is made by a 30 year old black-asian SB who is literally dissing on her friend who has become broke as she didnt save up at all while being with a multi millionaire SB. Female friendship, go figure.

According to the poster, both these girls got into the Sugar Baby game while being in a good University. Got their college paid off and had fun living the lifestyle. The poster snagged an older rich Asian guy and milked his connections to get into a lucrative Finance job, married him later on, without prenups and the guy already having a vasectomy done. This girl is now enjoying the lifestyle majorly, well settled and has money to become completely independent. Where as her friend got a multi millionaire as a SD, paying her 5k a month, enjoyed the lifestyle too but didnt save anything, got fat and her SD dumped her ass and now she is broke and panicking. The poster makes fun of this aspect of her friend and feels proud that she played the game well and did not fall into the trap.

Lot of things to see into the mindsets of these type of females. What gets on my nerves is that these girls are making successful careers out of it while also living a luxurious lifestyle. Literally no struggle or hard work. Not only do they enjoy college life and get their debts cleared but also they get into high paying careers because of these simps' connections and networks. They even marry the guy and get half his resources while not having children, knowing anytime that they can just leave. Some girls like the poster's friend are not shrewd enough to play the long game. However, even her friend got her college paid for and enjoyed a great lifestyle till she neared 30.

As an MBA student, I know the struggles of managing finances while in school and also working my ass off to secure a good career. Men have it real hard while women like these can coast life and enjoy.

Sugar Baby life is such an easy route for young girls now that I believe almost all US college girls will start participating in it. Who wouldn't when you have simps who would take care of their college debt while these girls can go for premium travels, eat in 5 star restaurants and buy luxury stuff, without even sometimes giving up the pussy.

Agree with this. I've been so frustrated by my experiences on the site lately that I've found myself wishing I were truly rich, fantasizing about having enough money (like >$10M net worth) that the amount of money these girls want is pocket change to me, and just paying it. That would make it so easy, plus being able to hold that money over their head would be a great way to prevent their flakiness: "none of this getting a text from me inviting you to do something, then not responding until after the time has passed, with some lame excuse, because in actuality you were holding out to see if something better came along. You do that, no more allowance." But then I think of what it's like to be a young guy, and what I'd be doing, indirectly, to him. If I were some rich guy and helped some chick get through college, somewhere out there there's a young man her own age, a younger version of me, who's now NOT getting through college because he now has to compete with this girl who's getting extra help just because she's cute and has a vagina. Life is really unfair for men these days.

I just got flaked/ghosted on by two more girls this week, in a way that has happened before as well, enough that this is an identifiable distinct phenomenon: a girl will message back and forth with me, be interested in meeting me, but then go ghost, and not only go ghost, but delete her profile from the site. And I know they deleted their profiles, and not just blocked me, because I can log in with my other dummy account I use only for searching, and can't see them then either. The first girl I had gotten to switch over to text, said she wanted to meet me, I suggested a date and time (this afternoon actually,) she responded "works perfectly for me," I replied "sweet. Will you be coming from the university area?" And she never responded. Didn't respond to a follow-up text either. The other girl I had also gotten to switch off the site to texting, and was going to drive from more than an hour away to meet me. She said "you tell me when you're free and I'll be there." I suggested a date and time, and again, that was the last I heard from her. No response to a follow-up text. And both girls have deleted their profiles from the site. This has happened to me numerous times before. Sometimes, girls won't exactly go ghost, they will actually send one final text to me saying "I'm sorry, I just don't think I can do this. Good luck in your search." or something like that.

My hypothesis about what's going on here is that, at the same time these girls are chatting with me, they're getting bombarded with messages on the site from fat, bald, hairy, 60 year old men offering cash for sex, with graphic, explicit descriptions of the fetishes they want the girls to take part in, and this creeps them out. Despite the fact that I'm not one of those guys, this essentially poisons anything and everyone associated with the site in their minds. It's like the girl has a sudden epiphany and says to herself "OMG, what am I doing? This site is about getting paid for sex! I'm nothing but a hooker, selling myself to repulsive guys old enough to be my grandfather!" And she just freaks out, deletes her profile, and cuts off all contact with anyone she met through the site. Has anyone else experienced this?

Post: #1978

Interesting SA Email I got today to vote for their hottest 2019 calendar Girl - my honest feedback is I prefer class over crass (College Students-Recent Grads-YPs) over stripper hot looking hooker banglers - that said there are a few solid WBs in this list... SA Email: We are in the final round of voting for The Seeking Calendar Cover Girl of the Year!
After receiving thousands of entries from all over the world, we narrowed the field to 60 women. Now only 28 women remain.
Who will be the next face of Seeking? You decide!
https://www.seekingarrangement.com/calendar/

Post: #1979

@Arcite

If the SA girls (in my city at the least) agree to meetup over drinks, then they usually do. I always use a decent to above average bar, preferably one near my place. Most of these girls will Yelp the place before deciding and so when they see its actually a cool place, one which they have never been to, then they agree.

On the day of the meet or one day before, I will usually sent a reminder. Sometimes they'll mention something has come up and Ill try and reschedule.

Also, its not very hard to arrange a date. Message tons of them, filter the escorts and ppm girls, and you will get others who will reply. The pattern should be 1. Intro, 2. What you upto/which part of town 3. Lets meetover drinks and get to know each other Unless you seen in their profile or pics or messages something that you can genuinely talk about to them with.

Half of the girls will reply, 'first before we meet , what are you looking for'. Just say a simple one liner as mentioned in an earlier post such as ' a cool girl to spend time with, are you a chilled out person' . If they press on for details then never mention money and just say few of your interests and that you want the girl to enjoy them with you.

Most girls will agree then but if some say no and want ppm or ask for monthly allowance, then ignore and move on.

The rest 50 percent will right away agree. Then its upto you for the date and timings. Usually they would be up for meeting asap.

For the flake, reminders before are key and if they do not respond then do not block. Just sent a text asking what happened and meantime arrange other ones. That is why its important to have a stack of dates ready to go green signal. Its better to flake yourself on multiple dates at same time while going to one than getting flaked on.

Post: #1980

(07-12-2018 05:54 PM)bk19xsa Wrote:  @Arcite

If the SA girls (in my city at the least) agree to meetup over drinks, then they usually do. I always use a decent to above average bar, preferably one near my place. Most of these girls will Yelp the place before deciding and so when they see its actually a cool place, one which they have never been to, then they agree.

On the day of the meet or one day before, I will usually sent a reminder. Sometimes they'll mention something has come up and Ill try and reschedule.

Also, its not very hard to arrange a date. Message tons of them, filter the escorts and ppm girls, and you will get others who will reply. The pattern should be 1. Intro, 2. What you upto/which part of town 3. Lets meetover drinks and get to know each other Unless you seen in their profile or pics or messages something that you can genuinely talk about to them with.

Only about 10% of the girls I message reply. Many of them lately don't even read my message, despite continuing to be active on the site. I've had girls favorite me and then not respond to my opening message.

Quote:Half of the girls will reply, 'first before we meet , what are you looking for'. Just say a simple one liner as mentioned in an earlier post such as ' a cool girl to spend time with, are you a chilled out person' .

That's what I do, but many of them simply don't respond after that.

Quote:If they press on for details then never mention money and just say few of your interests and that you want the girl to enjoy them with you.

Most girls will agree then but if some say no and want ppm or ask for monthly allowance, then ignore and move on.

Most of them won't agree, in my experience. They'll either not respond at all, or press for an explicit promise of money in which case I have no choice but to ignore them and move on.

Quote:The rest 50 percent will right away agree. Then its upto you for the date and timings. Usually they would be up for meeting asap.

For the flake, reminders before are key and if they do not respond then do not block. Just sent a text asking what happened and meantime arrange other ones.

That's what I do, but they never respond to my follow-up text. They just totally go ghost.

Quote:That is why its important to have a stack of dates ready to go green signal. Its better to flake yourself on multiple dates at same time while going to one than getting flaked on.

I'm beginning to realize that, which was why I was trying to set both of the aforementioned girls up for Wednesday afternoon. But both of them ghosted (they didn't really flake because we never actually finalized plans, they just said they were interested in meeting up but when I texted back with a specific time/date/place they totally went ghost.)

I really am beginning to think there is geographical variation at work here.

Post: #1981

This 18yo is so fucking annoying. Says shes free today and then says to my admin assistant shes not free. Yes I am aware there is a mistake. I really need to shut of autocorrect.




What should I text her now.

Post: #1982

(07-13-2018 09:29 AM)Markcrist Wrote:  This 18yo is so fucking annoying. Says shes free today and then says to my admin assistant shes not free. Yes I am aware there is a mistake. I really need to shut of autocorrect.

What should I text her now.

are you texting her at the same time as yourself and the assistant? Kinda ruins the illusion because the whole point is you are too busy to set up the details yourself. If she is free tomorrow why not set something up tomorrow?

Post: #1983

(07-13-2018 01:33 PM)AznMarkZuckerberg Wrote:  

(07-13-2018 09:29 AM)Markcrist Wrote:  This 18yo is so fucking annoying. Says shes free today and then says to my admin assistant shes not free. Yes I am aware there is a mistake. I really need to shut of autocorrect.

What should I text her now.

are you texting her at the same time as yourself and the assistant? Kinda ruins the illusion because the whole point is you are too busy to set up the details yourself. If she is free tomorrow why not set something up tomorrow?

No I text her last week and she said she was free today.

I told her my assistant will be in touch. My assistant contacted her today and she said she isn't free. She still has not read the last message.

Should my assistant double text her?

If so what would be a clever way for my assistant can make her meet at the same place suggested to her today?

Post: #1984

Remember on SA you are they paying customer (College Banglers get free Premium Accounts) Its like a Ladies Get in Free Happy Hour... so YOU have to Control FRAME - the moment you let a Flaky 18 Year Old control frame you are cooked. 18YearOlds are notoriously known for responding to random last minute stimuli like a Butterfly to a field of flowers or a Moth to a light at night... meaning she probably got a last minute offer from her besties...

The moment they are too busy for following up with you they have flaked... just NEXT and ignore her for a few weeks anything else is too try hard... You learn that Women especially young ones love to see how much sexual power they have over the men they randomly meet and use Shit Tests to Mind Phuck you and get you to drop control of the frame.

This is why Men have to use compliance Tests - you test them with where and when to meet, last minute after your meetings via text, telling them what to wear at your meets. Handing them a robe at your hotel room and telling them to go freshen up in the Shower, never asking what they like - just Sharing what YOU like. Tell them to pour you some wine the wine you like and brought and after a few glasses picking her up in the Robe and having her straddle you on top telling her to put on the condom you hand her and telling her to guide you into her man trap and ride you like a sex-starved cowgirl - all compliance tests leading up to Consensual Sex where she could back out at any time... sending her the preemptive anti-LMR bangler's remorse false rape claim text - that you really enjoyed your time with her and lets get together again next week making sure she replies in the positive. Then Archive that Text string. This is a properly Frame Controlled SA seduction with a consensual SB.

All about YOU controlling Frame with a multiple and continuous series of Compliance tests. This is why you keep 3 to 5 plates going at all times and never stop with the compliance tests.

You are the Dominant Alpha and she is the submissive compliant and supportive female - anything else is UNNATURAL and NON-compliance needs to be filtered out asap.

Post: #1985

(07-11-2018 04:49 PM)Arcite Wrote:  Yeah, that is actually what happened with the girl I mentioned in this post. She was an undergrad girl and was really impressed with my place, both the location and amenities. But still, the most it got me was a 2nd date blowjob, and she wouldn't get together a 3rd time without discussion of money.

BTW, I actually got back in touch with that girl. I texted her again, and it turned out she was looking for an "allowance" even after I reassured her I was happy to pay for stuff like waxes and transportation expenses. She went to the beach for a week with her family, but called me on the phone when she got back, just to say that she "really enjoyed meeting me" even though what I was looking for wasn't what she was looking for. I was so surprised she actually called that I told her that: "most girls today just go ghost." She said she figured she should call me because she did enjoy meeting me and the dates we did have. Couldn't figure that one out. What could she have gotten out of calling me? Some of you will probably say I should have been able to game her over the phone into meeting up again, but I didn't have the faintest clue how to do that, so I let it go.

This girl texted me again today, out of the blue, with "I'm thinking about letting you take care of me." [I had already told her I would pay for stuff like waxes and transportation, but not an allowance, so I assume by "take care of" she was referring only to paying for stuff like that.]
I replied: "I knew it, LOL"
She replied "I haven't decided"

Should I text her back at all, or just ignore her and figure if later she comes back with a direct expression of resuming things I'll take advantage of it then? I realize I don't want to reply with anything that seems supplicating or makes her think I don't have other options.

Post: #1986

(07-13-2018 07:42 PM)Arcite Wrote:  This girl texted me again today, out of the blue, with "I'm thinking about letting you take care of me." [I had already told her I would pay for stuff like waxes and transportation, but not an allowance, so I assume by "take care of" she was referring only to paying for stuff like that.]
I replied: "I knew it, LOL"
She replied "I haven't decided"

Should I text her back at all, or just ignore her and figure if later she comes back with a direct expression of resuming things I'll take advantage of it then? I realize I don't want to reply with anything that seems supplicating or makes her think I don't have other options.

what was your intent in texting "I knew it, LOL"? I mean she went full zombie really putting herself out there to text you out of the blue, remember you have very high status being an SD and negging is typically not the play. you shut her down for no reason.

so I would text her back "why don't we try it and see how it goes spa friday?" which is what I would have started with but you can still use it now. go get mani-pedis together (~$60) and you'll be banging her raw that night guaranteed

Post: #1987

Arcite, if you can afford it, invite her on a staycation at a luxury resort in your area - a hotel that has a spa, salon etc. This has worked for me and based on what you wrote, I would say you have about an 80% chance of closing the deal, if you do this.

Post: #1988

(07-14-2018 07:35 AM)billyb Wrote:  what was your intent in texting "I knew it, LOL"? I mean she went full zombie really putting herself out there to text you out of the blue, remember you have very high status being an SD and negging is typically not the play. you shut her down for no reason.

Yeah, my intent was to play it cool, but I forget that I have high status being an SD. I've mentioned this on other threads, but I have an inner game problem wherein I tend to think "people see me as Poindexter from Revenge of the Nerds, therefore hot girls don't like me." So I probably have a tendency to overdo it with the negging and the "pushes" as opposed to the "pulls."

Quote:So I would text her back "why don't we try it and see how it goes spa friday?" which is what I would have started with but you can still use it now. go get mani-pedis together (~$60) and you'll be banging her raw that night guaranteed

(07-15-2018 06:29 PM)LowEnergyJeb Wrote:  Arcite, if you can afford it, invite her on a staycation at a luxury resort in your area - a hotel that has a spa, salon etc. This has worked for me and based on what you wrote, I would say you have about an 80% chance of closing the deal, if you do this.

I agree, this is a great idea and something I would definitely be up for. The problem is, I've already texted her billyb's "spa day" text, and she basically demurred. She responded with "Awh I love that, you are too sweet and I really appreciate you wanting to make me feel good." Then immediately followed up with "You'll never guess what ... I'm at the beach again for the weekend lol" We've exchanged a couple of brief meaningless texts since then, but she's prevaricating, presumably doing what a lot of these young girls do, try to keep a guy on the back burner in case nothing better comes along. She's been active on SA again today, having updated her profile with more pictures.

Young girls today are so incredibly flaky, I don't know how you guys are getting them to actually make and keep solid plans with you.

Post: #1989

The entire post is gold, I want to comment on this part:

(07-13-2018 03:07 PM)Deepdiver Wrote:  Handing them a robe at your hotel room and telling them to go freshen up in the Shower, never asking what they like - just Sharing what YOU like.

All about YOU controlling Frame with a multiple and continuous series of Compliance tests. This is why you keep 3 to 5 plates going at all times and never stop with the compliance tests.

You are the Dominant Alpha and she is the submissive compliant and supportive female - anything else is UNNATURAL and NON-compliance needs to be filtered out asap.

I stumbled onto this line of thinking last year, and I'm glad I did.

I've dabbled on SA occasionally over the last couple of years. Last year I'd driven down to the Sunshine State, and finally met up with one particular SA girl ("Tabitha", 27 years old) my last night there (it was my fault for not pipelining properly, I'd activated a week membership the first day of my vacation instead of the week before, lesson learned). So I'd spent the better part of the early evenings during my vacation messaging women, and over the course of the week found that most of them had things going on and "wished I'd known last week, I could have moved things around and met up with you".

So when Tabitha didn't only respond, but was down to meet up, she was my best lead at that point. But she couldn't meet up until 11:00, but really wanted to go swimming, but if the pool is closed she wants to wait until it's open, etc, etc.
(Reflecting back, it was her hamster needing plausible deniability).

There were two hotels in the area. One was remodeling their pool, and the other hotel was smart enough to capitalize on that and keep their pool open 24/7 (sans lifeguard). I shoot Tabitha a "you're not gonna believe this" text, and she's on her way to the hotel as soon as I tell her about the 24 hour pool.

Tabitha was about an overall 5 on SA, decent face, ok body, and the bang seems to be in the bag. But between the time I gave Tabitha the green light and the time she arrived, at least 4 women messaged me that they were in the area and could meet up for a drink and possibly a swim. So now I'm thinking that I need to escalate rather quickly with Tabitha if she's down, but I also don't want to waste an hour or so with her just to have her leave, and then end up with nothing that night.

Tabitha gets to the hotel, swimsuit already on (she was about a 6 in person), and she meets me at the pool (again, at the time my thinking was that I didn't want to scare the cat by going direct to the hotel room). And she needs the plausible deniability. Worst case if she's not receptive to my advances, I'll tell her I'm leaving early in the am and I need to get some sleep, glad you had fun swimming, etc, etc.

We swam for about 20 minutes (just us in the pool at 11:30 at night), talked a bit about each of our kids, being a parent is tough, and so on. After some making out and light grinding in the water, I get what I thought was LMR. She's looking around, and I tell her not to worry, no one is watching, it's 11:45 at night. She thinks someone might be watching with their lights off from one of their rooms, so I tell her let's go upstairs.

"Ok'"

We get out and dry off, and I take Tabitha's hand as we leave the pool, I'm slightly in front. I'm not dragging her behind me like she's a kid that pissed me off in the grocery store, I'm leading her (if that makes sense). We make out a little in the elevator, and when we get to the room, start making out a little more... I tell her between kisses:
"You (kiss) get in the shower (kiss), I'm going downstairs (kiss) to get us snacks (kiss) and I'll join you (kiss) in a few minutes (kiss)."

"Ok"

Went down to the hotel "store" (a couple racks of snacks in an alcove), got back to the room about five minutes later. Her swimsuit was hanging on the chair, bed covers pulled back, and her humming coming from the shower. I undressed, climbed in with her, made out, hand job, bj, then dried off and climbed into bed. No LMR, ridiculously submissive. Banged her out twice that night, once again in the morning before sharing another shower, and one more time when we were making out while getting dressed.

She left just before checkout, we exchanged follow up texts ("had fun, good time" kind of stuff). And I'm supposed to look her up next time I'm down there, she'll make sure she has more time to "swim".

On the drive back, I had the time to reflect on what I did right and wrong over the course of the week... while I didn't pipeline correctly, I felt that my direction and frame control with Tabitha was what got me the notch. Granted, I was working myself against the clock and kind of fell into that "this needs to happen or you need to go cause I got other women that want to meet up" abundance mentality, but it exposed a part of the game I'd only thought that ridiculously wealthy and/or incredibly attractive men were able to pull off with success.

The next couple of (non SA) women I'd met back home, I'd used the same approach. Frame control, decision making, and plausible deniability (at home I'm doing work on the house "that you should come and see").
Not, "Do you want to come and see what I've done with my kitchen ?", but, (if she's ok to drive) "Follow me back to my place, I'll show you what I'm doing in my kitchen." At that point I'm running Don't Fuck Up game, and the initial bang goes down within the first 20 minutes.

It's been my modus operandi ever since.

Post: #1990

Just had something happen again today which is an identifiable, distinct phenomenon: I'll message a girl, we'll message back and forth a bit, she'll seem interested, I'll message her my Google Voice number to get her to switch over to text, and... that's it. I never hear from her again. She reads the message, but doesn't text me, doesn't reply on SA, and never responds to any attempt at a "restart" message, whether hours, days, or weeks later. Somehow, my sending her a phone number causes her to completely ghost. I'd say this happens with at least a third of the girls I get as far as sending my number to.

Here's how the recent interaction went. I had messaged this girl a few weeks ago, but she hadn't come back to the site. Finally got a message from her today. Her profile talks about how she likes good beer.

Her: Hey
Me: Hey you. Ready for that beer tasting?
Her: Yes haha
Me: Cool, we should definitely meet up
Her: I like how you’re dominant
Me: I like how you're submissive, hehe
Her: Only in the bedroom
Me: Cool with me. You can text me at xxx-xxx-xxxx

That's it. She read my last message but didn't text me, nor reply on the site. Like I said, this happens a LOT. What am I doing wrong? I've tried going softer and "nicer," I've tried being more dominant and cocky and just messaging "text me to meet up. xxx-xxx-xxxx" sooner, but there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason as to when a girl will simply ghost in response to this.

Post: #1991

(07-17-2018 08:04 PM)Arcite Wrote:  Just had something happen again today which is an identifiable, distinct phenomenon: I'll message a girl, we'll message back and forth a bit, she'll seem interested, I'll message her my Google Voice number to get her to switch over to text, and... that's it. I never hear from her again. She reads the message, but doesn't text me, doesn't reply on SA, and never responds to any attempt at a "restart" message, whether hours, days, or weeks later. Somehow, my sending her a phone number causes her to completely ghost. I'd say this happens with at least a third of the girls I get as far as sending my number to.

Here's how the recent interaction went. I had messaged this girl a few weeks ago, but she hadn't come back to the site. Finally got a message from her today. Her profile talks about how she likes good beer.

Her: Hey
Me: Hey you. Ready for that beer tasting?
Her: Yes haha
Me: Cool, we should definitely meet up
Her: I like how you’re dominant
Me: I like how you're submissive, hehe
Her: Only in the bedroom
Me: Cool with me. You can text me at xxx-xxx-xxxx

That's it. She read my last message but didn't text me, nor reply on the site. Like I said, this happens a LOT. What am I doing wrong? I've tried going softer and "nicer," I've tried being more dominant and cocky and just messaging "text me to meet up. xxx-xxx-xxxx" sooner, but there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason as to when a girl will simply ghost in response to this.

why are you asking her to text you??? get her number and you text her. that's basic text game man. you should put some of your texts in the "what should I text next" thread, honestly I think you could benefit from some critiques, just from those couple texts it seems like a leak for you

Post: #1992

(07-17-2018 08:04 PM)Arcite Wrote:  Just had something happen again today which is an identifiable, distinct phenomenon: I'll message a girl, we'll message back and forth a bit, she'll seem interested, I'll message her my Google Voice number to get her to switch over to text, and... that's it. I never hear from her again. She reads the message, but doesn't text me, doesn't reply on SA, and never responds to any attempt at a "restart" message, whether hours, days, or weeks later. Somehow, my sending her a phone number causes her to completely ghost. I'd say this happens with at least a third of the girls I get as far as sending my number to.

Here's how the recent interaction went. I had messaged this girl a few weeks ago, but she hadn't come back to the site. Finally got a message from her today. Her profile talks about how she likes good beer.

Her: Hey
Me: Hey you. Ready for that beer tasting?
Her: Yes haha
Me: Cool, we should definitely meet up
Her: I like how you’re dominant
Me: I like how you're submissive, hehe
Her: Only in the bedroom
Me: Cool with me. You can text me at xxx-xxx-xxxx

That's it. She read my last message but didn't text me, nor reply on the site. Like I said, this happens a LOT. What am I doing wrong? I've tried going softer and "nicer," I've tried being more dominant and cocky and just messaging "text me to meet up. xxx-xxx-xxxx" sooner, but there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason as to when a girl will simply ghost in response to this.

Agree with billyb. In addition, there's a real lack of congruency here that's probably turning her off.

You've clearly convinced her you're dominant. That really sets a certain expectation, and you need to be consistent in order to fulfill that.

Yet, then you take away that promise by handing over your number and asking her to initiate texting, thus giving her the control and asking her to lead the charge.

Does that strike you as especially "dominant?"

On another note, your timing on asking to move to text was a bit awkward. When she said "only in the bedroom," it wasn't simply a sexual innuendo - it doubled as a shit test. In other words, "I'm a strong independent woman you won't be able to dominate outside of the bedroom."

Maybe just my opinion, but I think you should have neutralized this shit test or joked it off before rushing in with a "cool, here's my number." Not only did your last message completely ignore the context of the conversation, making her feel like you're not really participating and are only emptily "conversating" towards an end result, but it also came off as a bit eager.

Your text game definitely needs some further critique and guidance.

Post: #1993

Trimmed for the bullet points:

(07-18-2018 01:49 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  Agree with billyb. In addition, there's a real lack of congruency here that's probably turning her off.

On another note, your timing on asking to move to text was a bit awkward. When she said "only in the bedroom," it wasn't simply a sexual innuendo - it doubled as a shit test. In other words, "I'm a strong independent woman you won't be able to dominate outside of the bedroom."

Yet, then you take away that promise by handing over your number and asking her to initiate texting, thus giving her the control and asking her to lead the charge.

Does that strike you as especially "dominant?"

Your text game definitely needs some further critique and guidance.

+1

This was a stumbling block in my non-SA game as well. I'd always tell them to text me (my thinking being that I was directing them and testing their compliance). But more than half the time the conversation would go cold and I wouldn't get a text.

I sent a few screenshots of my conversations to a couple of forum guys, and they basically said the same thing, you're giving her frame by telling her to text you. She gets to decide whether or not to do so. And she gets to keep you in that hamster wheel indefinitely by not responding on either platform.

Alternatively, asking... no, telling her (politely) to give you her number puts her on the bubble to decide one way or the other if she's truly interested. If she balks, she's a time waster. If she sends you her number, game on.

A good analogy might be breakfast for the kids in the morning. If you ask them, "Do you want breakfast ?", half the time they'll say no, then you have to convince them that they have to eat something (and you've fallen into their frame). Conversely, if they wake up and you tell them, "Pancakes or waffles for breakfast ?", they are put on the spot and have to choose one or the other... that way "I don't want breakfast" isn't a option.

As far as "only in the bedroom", maybe a good response would be "We'll see" or something along those lines (?). Maybe one of the forum members here has a better retort (it would be worth posting in the 'What Should I Text Next' thread). But whatever the response to that "bedroom" line should be, it needs to be congruent with you being the dominant one.

Post: #1994

I have the feeling BB has been using SA. Tell us your stories you know where brahsef!

Post: #1995

So I just paid to get background checked and my reply rate pretty much doubled. It's not that expensive and there are only 4 other background checked dudes in my area. I mean, it doesn't really mean everything you say on your profile is true although it sort of implies it and gives you a lot of extra credibility. Definitely worth it.

Post: #1996

Interesting. I recall chatting to a woman of a certain age on SA who had her background verified. She swore by it and advised me to do the same.

Post: #1997

So Ive been getting a steady lay per week from SA without having to pay. I make sure to tell the girl upfront that I will not be providing any payments as it's not my style. I filter out many women this way but there are a surprisingly high amount that are okay with that and seem to want to go out with a reasonable man. My next filter is to directly invite them to my apartment complex, inviting them to hang in the public lounge and play shuffle board. I ensure them that it is a public safe space, disqualify her, ect. What is left is a woman who is DTF without having to dish out the sugar. This has worked for me on 10+ girls over the past several months.

Post: #1998

(07-29-2018 02:06 PM)docbel123 Wrote:  So Ive been getting a steady lay per week from SA without having to pay. I make sure to tell the girl upfront that I will not be providing any payments as it's not my style. I filter out many women this way but there are a surprisingly high amount that are okay with that and seem to want to go out with a reasonable man. My next filter is to directly invite them to my apartment complex, inviting them to hang in the public lounge and play shuffle board. I ensure them that it is a public safe space, disqualify her, ect. What is left is a woman who is DTF without having to dish out the sugar. This has worked for me on 10+ girls over the past several months.

How old are you, and are you in the Anglosphere?

Post: #1999

(07-29-2018 05:48 PM)Arcite Wrote:  

(07-29-2018 02:06 PM)docbel123 Wrote:  So Ive been getting a steady lay per week from SA without having to pay. I make sure to tell the girl upfront that I will not be providing any payments as it's not my style. I filter out many women this way but there are a surprisingly high amount that are okay with that and seem to want to go out with a reasonable man. My next filter is to directly invite them to my apartment complex, inviting them to hang in the public lounge and play shuffle board. I ensure them that it is a public safe space, disqualify her, ect. What is left is a woman who is DTF without having to dish out the sugar. This has worked for me on 10+ girls over the past several months.

How old are you, and are you in the Anglosphere?

mid 20's, in shape, dark skinned Mediterranean

Post: #2000

Man I'm like on a ridiculous flake streak. Last week every single date flaked last minute. How are you guys screening or using text game to minimize flakes?