Post Reply 
Really Fast Online Personal Loans
Author Message
Kona Offline
International Playboy
******
Gold Member

Posts: 5,320
Joined: Aug 2009
Reputation: 144
Post: #1
Really Fast Online Personal Loans
I need to help someone get a personal loan, fast.

There is an old white man that owes me money. He is my tenant, and I cannot in good conscience evict him. The total I'm owed is about $7500.

This man has a 635 credit score. His monthly income is about $700 from Social Security, and two pensions totaling $600. He has no savings, and no possessions worth a crap. I charge him $700, and that's not going to change. He really only spends about two hundred a month on food. Other than that, cab!e TV for $40. Cell phone sàme.

Based on that score, and that limited income, can any of you direct me to a website that gives fast online loans?

Even figuring out his credit score on annualcreditreport was a fiasco. There's gotta be some site for old people to get loans.

The other caveat is that he can't leave the apartment due to disease. I love everybody, but I'm not putting this nasty fucker in my car. He shits all over and can hardly walk.

Please, help me. I want my money back before this guy dies.

Aloha!
05-07-2018 01:04 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 2 users Like Kona's post:
Handsome Creepy Eel, Built to Fade
Thomas the Rhymer Offline
True Player
*****
Gold Member

Posts: 2,056
Joined: Feb 2012
Reputation: 114
Post: #2
RE: Really Fast Online Personal Loans
How on earth did he manage to con you out $7500? It sounds like the guy knew he would never be able to pay you back.

A beginner's guide to jobhunting and networking
05-07-2018 01:44 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 4 users Like Thomas the Rhymer's post:
Kona, Handsome Creepy Eel, redbeard, Built to Fade
Kona Offline
International Playboy
******
Gold Member

Posts: 5,320
Joined: Aug 2009
Reputation: 144
Post: #3
RE: Really Fast Online Personal Loans
(05-07-2018 01:44 AM)Thomas the Rhymer Wrote:  How on earth did he manage to con you out $7500? It sounds like the guy knew he would never be able to pay you back.

I didnt charge him when he was waiting for benefits to srart up. He was injured and forced to retire. He had a settlement coming but the company is bankrupt.

Aloha!
05-07-2018 01:50 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 2 users Like Kona's post:
Handsome Creepy Eel, Built to Fade
Ice Man Offline
Chubby Chaser
**

Posts: 255
Joined: Feb 2018
Reputation: 6
Post: #4
RE: Really Fast Online Personal Loans
With a 635 and very low income he probably won't get a $7500 loan from anyone. He would be able to get some amount, but don't count on 7500.

Here are some quick online loan places

https://www.lendingclub.com

https://www.dollarinstalments.com (up to 5k)

Here is a good article that lists various online lenders and how long it takes and how much you could potentially get:

https://www.nerdwallet.com/blog/loans/qu...row-money/
05-07-2018 02:34 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 2 users Like Ice Man's post:
Kona, Built to Fade
Ice Man Offline
Chubby Chaser
**

Posts: 255
Joined: Feb 2018
Reputation: 6
Post: #5
RE: Really Fast Online Personal Loans
Should be noted- tread carefully instructing him to get a loan to pay you. When he gets behind and can't pay those people, there are various laws in place regarding coercing old folks to get loans they can't pay, so there is some potential liability if he or some family member later complain about this. You could be perfectly fine, but best to at least get the opinion of an attorney.

Be prepared to just write this one off.
05-07-2018 02:45 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 9 users Like Ice Man's post:
Kona, Handsome Creepy Eel, Jetset, Monty_Brogan, Windom Earle, RoastBeefCurtains4Me, debeguiled, Soothesayer, Built to Fade
Suits Offline
Innovative Casanova
*******
Gold Member

Posts: 9,726
Joined: Feb 2013
Reputation: 239
Post: #6
RE: Really Fast Online Personal Loans
Can't you have this guy work off the loan by babysitting neighborhood children?

I'm the King of Beijing!
(This post was last modified: 05-07-2018 03:09 AM by Suits.)
05-07-2018 03:09 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 2 users Like Suits's post:
Kona, Built to Fade
Ringo Offline
Alpha Male
****
Gold Member

Posts: 1,266
Joined: May 2011
Reputation: 47
Post: #7
RE: Really Fast Online Personal Loans
(05-07-2018 03:09 AM)Suits Wrote:  Can't you have this guy work off the loan by babysitting neighborhood children?

[Image: f1afd3c19e108658cec3bd2ef2f0b793.png]

Datasheets São Paulo, BR | Diamantina, BR | Osijek, HR | My most reliable opener
05-07-2018 04:02 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 9 users Like Ringo's post:
Kona, Handsome Creepy Eel, DJ-Matt, sterling_archer, the Thing, RoastBeefCurtains4Me, redbeard, Gustavus Adolphus, Built to Fade
Simeon_Strangelight Offline
Innovative Casanova
*******
Gold Member

Posts: 16,772
Joined: Feb 2014
Reputation: 212
Post: #8
RE: Really Fast Online Personal Loans
(05-07-2018 04:02 AM)Ringo Wrote:  
(05-07-2018 03:09 AM)Suits Wrote:  Can't you have this guy work off the loan by babysitting neighborhood children?

[Image: f1afd3c19e108658cec3bd2ef2f0b793.png]

If he is not clean enough to ride in Kona's car, then he is certainly trustworthy enough to have babysitting kids delivered to his door.

I don't think that it wold be much of a case of coercion since there are not heritable net assets that would be affected by such a loan. If the guy owned something valuable or an apartment, then there would be a case, but not with zero and possibly no family that is supporting him anyway.

Corporations would have long evicted him and dragged his ass to money collectors. What Kona is doing is more humane.
(This post was last modified: 05-07-2018 04:09 AM by Simeon_Strangelight.)
05-07-2018 04:07 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 6 users Like Simeon_Strangelight's post:
Kona, Handsome Creepy Eel, Davidovich, sterling_archer, Soothesayer, Built to Fade
Jetset Offline
True Player
*****

Posts: 2,313
Joined: Jan 2017
Reputation: 41
Post: #9
RE: Really Fast Online Personal Loans
Lending Club might be the only one that would write a loan at this level, but they'll attach high fees. LightStream is very good, no-fee, and requires strong credit, but I believe they allow a co-signer, if he has someone in his life who isn't a chump. I suppose if you co-signed for him and kept an eye on it, the worst that could happen is you're still out $7,500, but I agree with the above that you're on shaky ground getting involved in an elderly person's finances.

Personally, I'd say helping him figure out his FICO score is way too much involvement - and probably something that could have been done before renting to him. Can he get Section 8/DSS/emergency assistance benefits? If not, perhaps he can ritually throw himself into a fissure and you can write this off as volcano losses.

Hidey-ho, RVFerinos!
(This post was last modified: 05-07-2018 08:37 AM by Jetset.)
05-07-2018 08:20 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 3 users Like Jetset's post:
Ice Man, Handsome Creepy Eel, Built to Fade
Tex Cruise Offline
Wingman
***

Posts: 811
Joined: Jul 2015
Reputation: 10
Post: #10
RE: Really Fast Online Personal Loans
Thread title to OP post count/reputation level does....not..... compute....

[Image: CystM-MalFunkShun.gif]

(01-19-2016 11:26 PM)ordinaryleastsquared Wrote:  I stand by my analysis.
05-07-2018 09:02 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 3 users Like Tex Cruise's post:
Handsome Creepy Eel, Built to Fade, DJ-Matt
Thomas the Rhymer Offline
True Player
*****
Gold Member

Posts: 2,056
Joined: Feb 2012
Reputation: 114
Post: #11
RE: Really Fast Online Personal Loans
(05-07-2018 01:50 AM)Kona Wrote:  
(05-07-2018 01:44 AM)Thomas the Rhymer Wrote:  How on earth did he manage to con you out $7500? It sounds like the guy knew he would never be able to pay you back.

I didnt charge him when he was waiting for benefits to srart up. He was injured and forced to retire. He had a settlement coming but the company is bankrupt.

Aloha!

So he's behind 10 months rent?

It would make more sense to me to rather add a backpay fee to his rent rather than make an old, sick man worse off by putting him into debt. (In other words, you lent him $7500 of rent and now he has to pay you back in instalments, on top of his other expenses).

I think your best best is just to keep him alive as long as possible to milk him out of his money as long as possible. The shepherd is allowed to make money from his sheep.

It seems rather odd to have been merciful to him for 10 months and then to throw him to the loan sharks.

A beginner's guide to jobhunting and networking
05-07-2018 09:37 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 7 users Like Thomas the Rhymer's post:
qwertyuiop, DJ-Matt, Kona, Handsome Creepy Eel, slowpoke, redbeard, Built to Fade
Kona Offline
International Playboy
******
Gold Member

Posts: 5,320
Joined: Aug 2009
Reputation: 144
Post: #12
RE: Really Fast Online Personal Loans
Lending club was more than he had a month.

Lending Tree, however, referred Some offshoot of Goldman Sachs thatxapproved him for five grand and the money will be there tomorrow. He's gotta write me a check since he can go no where. Better becauseche won't blow all the money on whatever crippled white people buy.

I'll just let the rest go, I just need to remember not to have a soft spot for the tenants.

Aloha!
05-07-2018 06:32 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 7 users Like Kona's post:
Jetset, DJ-Matt, Ice Man, Handsome Creepy Eel, RoastBeefCurtains4Me, Soothesayer, Built to Fade
Thomas the Rhymer Offline
True Player
*****
Gold Member

Posts: 2,056
Joined: Feb 2012
Reputation: 114
Post: #13
RE: Really Fast Online Personal Loans
(05-07-2018 06:32 PM)Kona Wrote:  Lending club was more than he had a month.

Lending Tree, however, referred Some offshoot of Goldman Sachs thatxapproved him for five grand and the money will be there tomorrow. He's gotta write me a check since he can go no where. Better becauseche won't blow all the money on whatever crippled white people buy.

I'll just let the rest go, I just need to remember not to have a soft spot for the tenants.

Aloha!

Question is, after getting this loan, will he be able to afford to pay your rent after the debt payments?

A beginner's guide to jobhunting and networking
05-08-2018 01:20 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 3 users Like Thomas the Rhymer's post:
Kona, Handsome Creepy Eel, Built to Fade
Kona Offline
International Playboy
******
Gold Member

Posts: 5,320
Joined: Aug 2009
Reputation: 144
Post: #14
RE: Really Fast Online Personal Loans
^^^ Yes. And he's come to terms with fact that he's never getting his settlement money. I've come to terms with the fact I can't be everyone's hero. I'm only gonna help strippers from now on.

Aloha!
05-08-2018 02:42 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 7 users Like Kona's post:
Simeon_Strangelight, Handsome Creepy Eel, Jetset, Thomas the Rhymer, DJ-Matt, debeguiled, Built to Fade
Simeon_Strangelight Offline
Innovative Casanova
*******
Gold Member

Posts: 16,772
Joined: Feb 2014
Reputation: 212
Post: #15
RE: Really Fast Online Personal Loans
(05-08-2018 02:42 AM)Kona Wrote:  ^^^ Yes. And he's come to terms with fact that he's never getting his settlement money. I've come to terms with the fact I can't be everyone's hero. I'm only gonna help strippers from now on.

Aloha!

And don't forget the financially struggling student girls who are looking for some sugar-kona. One should always have a heart for those.
05-08-2018 02:47 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 4 users Like Simeon_Strangelight's post:
Handsome Creepy Eel, Kona, redbeard, Built to Fade
Handsome Creepy Eel Offline
Innovative Casanova
*******
Gold Member

Posts: 11,959
Joined: Apr 2011
Reputation: 163
Post: #16
RE: Really Fast Online Personal Loans
(05-08-2018 02:47 AM)Zelcorpion Wrote:  
(05-08-2018 02:42 AM)Kona Wrote:  ^^^ Yes. And he's come to terms with fact that he's never getting his settlement money. I've come to terms with the fact I can't be everyone's hero. I'm only gonna help strippers from now on.

Aloha!

And don't forget the financially struggling student girls who are looking for some sugar-kona. One should always have a heart for those.

I think you got the wrong organ there Laugh

"Imagine" by HCE | Hitler reacts to Battle of Montreal | An alternative use for squid that has never crossed your mind before
05-08-2018 05:34 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 2 users Like Handsome Creepy Eel's post:
Kona, Built to Fade
RoastBeefCurtains4Me Offline
True Player
*****

Posts: 2,273
Joined: Oct 2014
Reputation: 24
Post: #17
RE: Really Fast Online Personal Loans
Sounds like you already have a solution, but for people coming in here just from the thread title, check out SoFi. I've been seeing non-stop commercials from them, and I checked them out. I refinanced some credit cards to a lower interest rate with them, and just now refinanced a student loan from 7% down to 5% interest.

SoFi is very easy to apply for, and they charge no fees, points, etc., meaning if you borrow $10,000, you will have $10,000 deposited in your bank account a few days later, and start making payments based on whatever your interest rate is. They offer a .25% discount if you setup automatic payments from your checking. In the case of the student loan, they mail a check to the original student loan company, but in the case of a credit card refinance, they deposit directly to your account and you have to pay off the credit cards. I got a large boost to my credit score when I paid off my credit cards this way.

I think they are targeting people with good credit and high incomes, but if you need a loan and you qualify, they are fast, easy, and they have zero points or fees other than your interest rate, which should come out lower than whatever you are refinancing.

I have no affiliation with them, just passing on my positive experience.

I'm the tower of power, too sweet to be sour. I'm funky like a monkey. Sky's the limit and space is the place!
-Randy Savage
(This post was last modified: 05-08-2018 11:11 AM by RoastBeefCurtains4Me.)
05-08-2018 11:10 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 4 users Like RoastBeefCurtains4Me's post:
Kona, Handsome Creepy Eel, Soothesayer, Built to Fade
Kona Offline
International Playboy
******
Gold Member

Posts: 5,320
Joined: Aug 2009
Reputation: 144
Post: #18
RE: Really Fast Online Personal Loans
Check has been cashed. Mahalo for the help dudes.

Aloha!
05-08-2018 05:38 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 2 users Like Kona's post:
Handsome Creepy Eel, Built to Fade
debeguiled Offline
Innovative Casanova
*******
Gold Member

Posts: 6,845
Joined: Aug 2014
Reputation: 111
Post: #19
RE: Really Fast Online Personal Loans
He was a veteran, wasn't he?

That cancelled out his whiteness for a while.

That is how they get you.

“The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents.”

Carl Jung
05-08-2018 06:04 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 2 users Like debeguiled's post:
Built to Fade, Kona
Repo Offline
International Playboy
******

Posts: 3,154
Joined: Feb 2015
Reputation: 17
Post: #20
RE: Really Fast Online Personal Loans
Fuck if I were him I'd just let those personal loans charge off. Hey, if he doesnt pay them back, you can talk him into paying you instead, monthly payments till your made full. It's not like those companies on the internet can evict him like you can!
05-08-2018 07:48 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 2 users Like Repo's post:
Built to Fade, Kona
Suits Offline
Innovative Casanova
*******
Gold Member

Posts: 9,726
Joined: Feb 2013
Reputation: 239
Post: #21
RE: Really Fast Online Personal Loans
(05-08-2018 06:04 PM)debeguiled Wrote:  He was a veteran, wasn't he?

I wanted to ask the same question. Everyone knows that Kona has a soft spot for vets.

I'm the King of Beijing!
05-08-2018 08:31 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 4 users Like Suits's post:
Handsome Creepy Eel, debeguiled, Built to Fade, Kona
nola Offline
Banned

Posts: 451
Joined: Jun 2016
Post: #22
RE: Really Fast Online Personal Loans
Get him to take out a life insurance policy and make you the beneficiary in exchange for free rent. You grant him an allowance that's enough to pay the premiums. Make sure it's guaranteed issue insurance...
05-11-2018 02:14 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes nola's post:
Built to Fade
Sidney Crosby Offline
True Player
*****
Gold Member

Posts: 2,222
Joined: Jun 2014
Reputation: 13
Post: #23
RE: Really Fast Online Personal Loans
(11-19-2018 07:43 PM)Declan Johnson Wrote:  Nice article, but i already seen it there https://www.google.com/

Ban this faggot
11-19-2018 09:07 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes Sidney Crosby's post:
Built to Fade
Obermarschall Offline
Beta Orbiter
*

Posts: 127
Joined: Jul 2018
Reputation: 0
Post: #24
RE: Really Fast Online Personal Loans
Bondora can be helpful.
11-20-2018 06:26 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes Obermarschall's post:
Built to Fade
wi30 Offline
True Player
*****
Gold Member

Posts: 1,906
Joined: Jul 2010
Reputation: 59
Post: #25
RE: Really Fast Online Personal Loans
Super relevant bump. Kona, did you steal enough Busch Light from Walmart to cancel out your losses?
11-20-2018 10:57 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 2 users Like wi30's post:
Built to Fade, Kona
Post Reply 


Possibly Related Threads...
Thread: Author Replies: Views: Last Post
  10 day water-only fast completed Bain 429 58,029 03-31-2019 06:59 PM
Last Post: Bain
  Budgeting / Personal Finance App Recommendations? the-dream 13 4,151 10-13-2018 08:17 PM
Last Post: monsquid
  What are your 3-5 simple Personal Finance Tips that everyone should know jamaicabound 81 16,455 07-23-2018 06:37 AM
Last Post: JackinMelbourne

Forum Jump:


User(s) browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)

Contact Us | RooshV.com | Return to Top | Return to Content | Mobile Version | RSS Syndication