Post: #1

I've been living here for around 2 years now and studying everyday to improve my language skills. Even though I got way better, it's still not as smooth as my English or native language and so I can get through the whole approach/convo/escalating thing but when it comes to closing, that's where I usually crash.

I already managed to get successful a few times but there is no consistency whatsoever, and the idea of just waiting to become fluent does not make sense, so my question is to the guys who are living abroad where the language is a problem, how do you get around that? some people suggested to hit expat clubs/bars which is fun and all but the local scene here is WAY more interesting and also I enjoy doing day game even though Im shit at it so basically my chances are 9 locals to 1 foreigner..any tips?

Post: #2

I'm doing the same learning my third language in Brasil. I use exactly that as an excuse to approach and close. Hi, I'm learning ( ).. and later you ask them to help you. I know you have probably done it at some point.

Eventually it will force you to be fluent.

In addition, I've seen people in this forum closing without knowing how to speak the other person's language

Post: #3

(05-01-2018 09:36 PM)crispytaco Wrote:  I'm doing the same learning my third language in Brasil. I use exactly that as an excuse to approach and close. Hi, I'm learning ( ).. and later you ask them to help you. I know you have probably done it at some point.

Eventually it will force you to be fluent.

In addition, I've seen people in this forum closing without knowing how to speak the other person's language

Ya I actually use that excuse alot, I guess I need to work on closing more..what do you do when a girl starts mumbling or speaking really fast in her language knowing it might be difficult for you to get it? how do you get around that?

Post: #4

You can open in English if you want, but depending on how international it is, it'll be harder to find girls interested in English speaking guys.

If you can talk about: food, fashion, drinking, music, or travel, (in either language) you'll be pretty set. I've been on dates where the girl, despite learning English, was too embarrassed to speak it until much later. On the plus side, it'll force you to work on conversational Japanese and get better.

If she starts talking really fast, maintain your frame as the leader, and tell her she needs to repeat what she said and slower. Depending on how far you're into the conversation, you could incorporate a playful touch when you tell her to stop and repeat because she's speaking too fast.

Post: #5

(05-01-2018 09:55 PM)hokkaidobryan Wrote:  You can open in English if you want, but depending on how international it is, it'll be harder to find girls interested in English speaking guys.

If you can talk about: food, fashion, drinking, music, or travel, (in either language) you'll be pretty set. I've been on dates where the girl, despite learning English, was too embarrassed to speak it until much later. On the plus side, it'll force you to work on conversational Japanese and get better.

If she starts talking really fast, maintain your frame as the leader, and tell her she needs to repeat what she said and slower. Depending on how far you're into the conversation, you could incorporate a playful touch when you tell her to stop and repeat because she's speaking too fast.

I can navigate my way through those topics, but dropping jokes is still a huge hit or miss, but its a good practice for my conversation skills. People think Im American when I speak English so that's not a problem, its when the conversation gets Japanese heavy is where I sometimes bomb..

Post: #6

(05-01-2018 10:14 PM)MOEJP Wrote:  

(05-01-2018 09:55 PM)hokkaidobryan Wrote:  You can open in English if you want, but depending on how international it is, it'll be harder to find girls interested in English speaking guys.

If you can talk about: food, fashion, drinking, music, or travel, (in either language) you'll be pretty set. I've been on dates where the girl, despite learning English, was too embarrassed to speak it until much later. On the plus side, it'll force you to work on conversational Japanese and get better.

If she starts talking really fast, maintain your frame as the leader, and tell her she needs to repeat what she said and slower. Depending on how far you're into the conversation, you could incorporate a playful touch when you tell her to stop and repeat because she's speaking too fast.

I can navigate my way through those topics, but dropping jokes is still a huge hit or miss, but its a good practice for my conversation skills. People think Im American when I speak English so that's not a problem, its when the conversation gets Japanese heavy is where I sometimes bomb..

Yeah, I know the feeling when they level up their speaking and you're unable to follow what's going on. Some good practice would be to listen to tv talk shows or talk with a friend and they slowly increase the speed at which they talk so you get used to hearing fast Japanese.

For Japanese jokes, just google a few comedians or variety shows. Usually it's a type of back and forth banter, but find something you understand and like. I'm into puns, so I like to play with kanji readings or even make jokes using Japanese and English words together (e.g. "How long have the Japanese been eating eggs? Since a long tamago [sounds like "time ago"]). The person needs to understand both languages a bit to get the jokes, but they find it really clever.

Post: #7

Simplistic but sensible answer: do what you can with what you know while working on language skills

I know it sucks to have a limited pool of options because of language but it is what it is. I live it every day too. Just remind yourself that the limited options there are still better than the ones back home (on the average).

Also, I'd avoid getting too deep in the conversational weeds. Keep it light and throw in a few words/sentences here and there. The bar will be raised very quickly if you even signal that you have a good command of the language.

Lastly, humor is more about culture than the language itself. Typically you have 2 options: play it safe/childish (slapstick, funny faces etc) or stay more edgy if that's your thing (sarcasm, adult topics...). The former has wider appeal but the latter hooks deeper, especially with girls who think they're unique (don't they all?). This one depends on your personality so I'd say whatever you do, don't put on an act.

Godspeed sir!