Post: #1

I hate that I have to ask for advice. However I've put this off for over a month, maybe two, and I will need to do something about it very soon. So where better else to ask than here.

Anyway, I don't want to bore everyone too much with the details of my relationship. I will just try to summarise it quickly.

It lasted for a year and a half. The last six months I put up with too much and things got worse. It didn't help we were living together in a small apartment and I was home a lot of the time for the last six months. We got in a fight over the holidays and Christmas and New Years was a total mess. I don't think it's possible to recover from that now. We broke up and made up a couple times. Then we broke up again and she mentioned going back to her home thousands of miles away to fix up her old house to rent it out.

Great idea, I thought. Please get the hell out of my house. I stopped giving a shit about the relationship, we had sex one last time before she left, and we left on good terms with each other with some hope that maybe we just need some time apart from each other and everything would be fine. Pretty dumb looking back on that.

It was nice being alone and I was much more focused at working. However ny landlord had gotten fed up with me and told me I had to leave because I had two or three loud fights with my girlfriend. As she had left my place and we decided she wasn't going to move back in with me. I told him that she's gone, so there would be no more fights and I would promise to keep it down, so he let me stay.

The next night I decided to hit up a girl who wanted to meet up with me six months ago, but I was in a good relationship at a time and decided against it. I took her to a bar and then back home. Sex was explosive but not that loud I thought. The next day my landlord got a complaint about me and kicked me out. Lol, thin walls I guess. I had to make up some other bullshit reasons for why I was suddenly moving out.

Anyway, weeks kept going past, we didn't talk much and we were both focused on working. I kept it casual with the girl I was seeing and would occasionally message my girlfriend on good terms.

Until, one night she lost her temper at me because I didn't seem to care enough about her work problem (I didn't care that much and I was telling her she shouldnt either, but girls want to be listened to, not just told to get over it). She abruptly told me the relationship was over and hung up on me. I was pissed.... for about one minute, before I laughed it off, left my phone at home and went out with the new girl.

I decided I'm not even going to talk to that bitch again, and that was the final straw. About two weeks later she got back in contact with me and didn't mention the 'breakup' at all. She tried to carry on as nothing happened. Around the time of valentines day and my birthday, I caved in and started talking to her as if everything was fine and we had video chats and started talking every day again.

I realised it was dumb to do that and since then Ive been trying to ignore her as much as possible, which only makes her want me more and only makes her more sweet and friendly when she talks to me.

Things have now gotten more serious with the new girl, she's younger and much sweeter, although I've been kind of distant from her too. She helped me through a few problems and has come round to cook for me and help me when I'm ill, even though I keep to myself and see her once a week. So she's earned her place as my new girlfriend now

Now my first girlfriend will be coming back in a week or two, and I really need to end the damn relationship. I just find it difficult when she's being so nice to me now. So I put it off and focus on work. Then she sends me some sweet loving messages every couple of days I reply because I do still feel love for her and then ignore her as much as I can.

I know I have to break up with her, but I'm undecided as to how to do it. I've thought of a few options, I think once I decide on one I will break up with her. I just don't want to break up with her in a wishy washy way, not really being sure of myself.

First, just tell her that it will be great seeing each other again, but only for a few weeks and then we will be fighting again. So it's better we don't see each other.

Second, I say the same thing but tell her that we can still see each other casually, but we can't be a serious couple anymore and we should see other other people. (I can't turn down sex with her knowing what it's like, fuck.) If she objects it will just turn into a breakup so I haven't lost anything saying this, except I don't think it will go down too well.

Third option. I just try and juggle both girls. Not easy as the new girl is friends with many of the bartenders in town and my roommates and friends now. This will almost certainly blow up in my face in a bad way. Also my first girlfriend will be coming like a thousand miles only to find out she probably should have stayed in her home city.

I know this probably all seems stupid and an easy problem to solve but I keep putting it off and I'm finding it difficult so would appreciate any advice. Thanks for reading all this and giving your opinion.

Post: #2

Demand a threesome.

That's a win-win-win solution to your problem.

Post: #3

I laughed when I saw Suits was the first person to reply, as I already knew this thread would not be going in the direction I was hoping for.

Girlfriend number 1 was up for threesomes but only under the perfection conditions. I half jokingly suggested to the new girlfriend once that she likes girls and she made it VERY clear that she's 100% straight and not into girls at all. So yeah, nothing like that is gonna happen with her.

Post: #4

I've actually done that. She said yes to a threesome to buy herself time but the threesome never materialized. Best I got was her making out with a stripper who was grinding me.

But it's actually not a bad approach. Whatever she hasn't done that you want her to do, insist on it. That's gone well for me before, until it drives them away.

Post: #5

Am I missing something? Does she have something on you or are you scared of some consequence?

If you care about her show her the respect you think she deserves and call it quits in an honest and sensitive way, but be firm.

If she has nothing on you and you don't care about her tell her to kick rocks for some arbitrary reason and ghost

If you want to have your cake and eat it too shoot for the stars man but I'm not sure how you'd pull that off. I'd go the sincerity and honesty route but I'm sure that's not the best game. It really all depends on your frame and value. And if successful it probably won't be for long.

Sex is good? She sounds nice enough. I'd say just send her off if the fights aren't worth keeping her over the other and you can't see her being the mother of your children.

Post: #6

You’re being weak mate and sounds like you’re a bit scared of her or the confrontation.
She is in control.
It will never work and you wil just have to go through it all again.

I’d send her a text now finishing it to save her the trouble of coming all the way back for you, where it will only be harder to do face to face.

Post: #7

I know I'm being lame and weak, but I'm pretty sure I'm not scared of her or confrontation. I don't think there will be a fight or confrontation to be honest and I've had it all before. What's the worst she can do? lol, She doesn't have anything on me or owe me anything.

It's tough to breakup with someone you love and when she's being nicer to me than maybe ever in our relationship, although I know things will probably go bad again after a few weeks or months together. Also I don't see a future together so I shouldn't waste her time.

I think what I'm scared of is giving her up completely. Maybe what you're missing is that I'm pretty much a lone foreigner in this country and its nice to have someone nearby who cares about you and can help out with things. My family are far away so can only talk to them online. I have a lot of friends here but they're mainly just for having a good time. I don't want to go overly beta and attached by opening up too much to any new girls here.

At the moment with her in another city the last few months and us on friendly terms things are great and I wish I could keep it that way, probably the main reason I haven't done anything. I'm a natural procastinator, so I need help otherwise I'll leave it until she's actually in my face or about to fly back or I have a strong reason to break up with her immediately. Right now she's telling me that she's coming back soon. That's probably why I'm finding this more difficult than I should.

Post: #8

You're much better off just calling off the relationship. Sit her down and let her know it's not working out.

The other way is to amp up the beta and neediness to the point that she feels disgusted and dumps you, but seriously just use this for the crazy ones. Start calling her at all times and tell her how you think she's too good for you and you're worried she will leave u. Talk about how depressed you are at work and how everyone is getting ahead of you in life. Ask her if your dick is good enough for her. Smother her with gifts and compliments all day every day. Tell her she reminds you of your mom and how similar both of them are. If y'all are young then talk about how you dream of having 6 kids and retiring to the countryside at 30. Etc

If she's being nice and normal just sit her down and call it off to be honest. It would be the decent thing to do.

Post: #9

What do you want to do with this? You listed three options, which of them do you want?

Post: #10

(04-13-2018 01:30 AM)RedPillUK Wrote:  It's tough to breakup with someone you love and when she's being nicer to me than maybe ever in our relationship, although I know things will probably go bad again after a few weeks or months together. Also I don't see a future together so I shouldn't waste her time.

For a dude with Red Pill in your username, this is some pretty blue bill shit.

On a serious note though, I know what you're going through bro and I have some thoughts based on my experiences.

1. She's probably not somebody you truly love; she's more likely somebody with whom you're very infatuated.

True love - not the Disney variety - is what comes after infatuation has worn off and a man and a woman can work together as companions to productively and reasonably move their lives in the direction they envision.

Sounds like you're addicted to the pussy and the comfort of the familiar, even though you yourself admit that the same problems are bound to recur and there's no future with you two.

A good decision making heuristic I've found when it comes to women especially is to ask yourself the question "is this a full-body YES?" If not, your brain and balls and gut are at odds, and you'll instantly know the right thing to do.

If there's any doubt, there's no doubt. I tend towards the cerebral so this one took some practice for me but it's been very valuable to develop this awareness and it's golden it in its simplicity and effectiveness.

2. If you're considerate enough to not want to waste HER time, why not extend that same consideration to yourself and stop wasting your own time and energy?

Are they not as valuable as hers?

I think you know deep down that you've got to close this door before another one can open.

And it's up to you as the man to close it, lock the fucker up and throw away the key because the reality is that women are monkey branchers.

Chicks will do anything to hold on to you, however tenuously, until they can trade up.

They'll reinitiate contact, humiliate themselves with absolutely no fucking shame, cry and blubber, reminisce about the good times (conveniently excluding your fundamental incompatibilities and recurring issues), use shaming tactics and basically throw every female thespian technique they've ever learned at you just to keep you barely engaged.

If you're still the best option, they'll take it. If they get the opportunity to trade up, they'll take that too. And they'll either leave you in the dust, or keep you at their teat as a backup plan.

3. I've come to the conclusion that 9 out of 10 women don't have the maturity to stay in touch and respect your boundaries after a breakup.

They'll string you along and play the hypergamy game, occasionally vying for reconciliation (in between taking lord knows how many cocks).

That's why there's a NO CONTACT thread in the forum, because women can't be trusted to recognize when it's over and move the fuck on.

At least as men we can detach from our emotions occasionally and take an objective look at our relationships, identify where they're fucked, and make the decision to stop wasting everybody's time on a partnership that will never go anywhere.

4. Always make your future greater than your past.

There are millions of women far superior to this chick you're hung up on who want what you have to offer, and have something extremely valuable to offer you.

Don't stand still and don't move backwards. Be a man, be a leader and be human about it (knowing what you know about female nature) and cut it off once and for all so you can get on with pursuing your highest degree of excellence - hopefully, with a woman who complements you in quality and supports that vision.

Post: #11

Great input above.

What are the chances that if you stay with her, the relationship will be better than in the chaotic past?

Arguments are fine. The occasional fight is tolerable. But frequent issues as you've had are an obvious sign that you two are not as compatible as you once thought and that the relationship is beyond saving.

It's not easy to handle this situation, especially because given all those lows you've had, because when there's lust and attraction it ensures there's some incredible highs as well. I've been there.

End it with this girl and don't look back. You might not be sure it was the right decision just yet, but you will 6 months or a year from now.

Also, don't take for granted that you're in a best case sort of scenario. You already have another girl that cares for you. And don't compare her to your (soon to be ex).

Post: #12

I have a question. What is lacking from your life (elsewhere) that you are subconsciously keen to bring on this drama to spice it up?

This ain't healthy, not worth it and it's just wasting your time and emotional energy with the risk of scarring you or changing you for the worse. Same applies to these women.

Be frank, cut the shit and lay it out as it is.

I cosign everything VV mentioned above.

Post: #13

Ghost her.

Problem solved.

Post: #14

Red

This woman is poison and emotionally blackmails by being nice and promising things are being good.

It's obviously not hard for you to bang a new cute younger and sweet feminine girl. You're already doing that, we've spoke about this girl before

Vincent has give you some pretty solid advice along with other gents on here.

This is the most important thing dudes need to understand:

Quote:2. If you're considerate enough to not want to waste HER time, why not extend that same consideration to yourself and stop wasting your own time and energy?

Dudes that go back and forth with chicks are wasting time, it's like a scab, if you don't let your self heal (ending it and getting over with).

You'll keep picking at it and it'll leave a worse scar (getting back with your ex constantly).

This ex of yours should not be coming to your place anymore.

She has crocodile tears, she acts sweet then blows up when you don't give her enough attentione.


It doesn't matter if you'r alone in a foreign country.

Think about this, a man should be secure in HIMSELF anywhere at anytime - a woman DOES NOT NEED TO REQUIRED TO DO THIS.

You need to work on yourself first, then you can work on women.

Dump the ex, keep the new girl around, but don't fall into the same head over heels trap with her, take it real slow.

Post: #15

Mate you have given it a good go at making it work, and it hasn't. Many many tries.

Time to try out another woman to see if she fits in with you and your life.

Be kind to yourself and her and tell her that its over, we tried and hit her with "we can still be friends".

Post: #16

(04-13-2018 03:06 AM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  

(04-13-2018 01:30 AM)RedPillUK Wrote:  It's tough to breakup with someone you love and when she's being nicer to me than maybe ever in our relationship, although I know things will probably go bad again after a few weeks or months together. Also I don't see a future together so I shouldn't waste her time.

For a dude with Red Pill in your username, this is some pretty blue bill shit.

LOL ok reading that back you're right. It was a little dramatic the way I worded that.

In my defense, partly this is due to my bad habit of procrastination (easily a bigger problem in my life than girls) I've already been through the 'tough' part because I made the decision a couple weeks ago to break up and was sad about it then. I went through all that already. I just had to do the final part of telling her, which wasn't an urgent priority in my life and so I was putting it off. It hurts a little bit right now but I'm already starting to feel better.

Quote:On a serious note though, I know what you're going through bro and I have some thoughts based on my experiences.

1. She's probably not somebody you truly love; she's more likely somebody with whom you're very infatuated.

True love - not the Disney variety - is what comes after infatuation has worn off and a man and a woman can work together as companions to productively and reasonably move their lives in the direction they envision.

Sounds like you're addicted to the pussy and the comfort of the familiar, even though you yourself admit that the same problems are bound to recur and there's no future with you two.

A good decision making heuristic I've found when it comes to women especially is to ask yourself the question "is this a full-body YES?" If not, your brain and balls and gut are at odds, and you'll instantly know the right thing to do.

If there's any doubt, there's no doubt. I tend towards the cerebral so this one took some practice for me but it's been very valuable to develop this awareness and it's golden it in its simplicity and effectiveness.

2. If you're considerate enough to not want to waste HER time, why not extend that same consideration to yourself and stop wasting your own time and energy?

Are they not as valuable as hers?

I think you know deep down that you've got to close this door before another one can open.

And it's up to you as the man to close it, lock the fucker up and throw away the key because the reality is that women are monkey branchers.

Chicks will do anything to hold on to you, however tenuously, until they can trade up.

They'll reinitiate contact, humiliate themselves with absolutely no fucking shame, cry and blubber, reminisce about the good times (conveniently excluding your fundamental incompatibilities and recurring issues), use shaming tactics and basically throw every female thespian technique they've ever learned at you just to keep you barely engaged.

If you're still the best option, they'll take it. If they get the opportunity to trade up, they'll take that too. And they'll either leave you in the dust, or keep you at their teat as a backup plan.

3. I've come to the conclusion that 9 out of 10 women don't have the maturity to stay in touch and respect your boundaries after a breakup.

They'll string you along and play the hypergamy game, occasionally vying for reconciliation (in between taking lord knows how many cocks).

That's why there's a NO CONTACT thread in the forum, because women can't be trusted to recognize when it's over and move the fuck on.

At least as men we can detach from our emotions occasionally and take an objective look at our relationships, identify where they're fucked, and make the decision to stop wasting everybody's time on a partnership that will never go anywhere.

4. Always make your future greater than your past.

There are millions of women far superior to this chick you're hung up on who want what you have to offer, and have something extremely valuable to offer you.

Don't stand still and don't move backwards. Be a man, be a leader and be human about it (knowing what you know about female nature) and cut it off once and for all so you can get on with pursuing your highest degree of excellence - hopefully, with a woman who complements you in quality and supports that vision.

This is all great advice and helps confirm my own thoughts that I'm doing the right thing. I think you are right about love and infatuation. We had a good relationship a lot of the time but big fights. Sexually very compatible.

Post: #17

(04-13-2018 12:24 PM)kaotic Wrote:  Red

This woman is poison and emotionally blackmails by being nice and promising things are being good.

It's obviously not hard for you to bang a new cute younger and sweet feminine girl. You're already doing that, we've spoke about this girl before

Vincent has give you some pretty solid advice along with other gents on here.

This is the most important thing dudes need to understand:

Quote:2. If you're considerate enough to not want to waste HER time, why not extend that same consideration to yourself and stop wasting your own time and energy?

Dudes that go back and forth with chicks are wasting time, it's like a scab, if you don't let your self heal (ending it and getting over with).

You'll keep picking at it and it'll leave a worse scar (getting back with your ex constantly).

This ex of yours should not be coming to your place anymore.

She has crocodile tears, she acts sweet then blows up when you don't give her enough attentione.


It doesn't matter if you'r alone in a foreign country.

Think about this, a man should be secure in HIMSELF anywhere at anytime - a woman DOES NOT NEED TO REQUIRED TO DO THIS.

You need to work on yourself first, then you can work on women.

Dump the ex, keep the new girl around, but don't fall into the same head over heels trap with her, take it real slow.

You're right ex girlfriends are a waste of time and going back is a form of weakness. Someone else described it once as fixing a relationship is like fixing a vase, you can glue it back together, but it won't be the same. The cracks where it broke are still there and it is very likely to break again in the same places.

This helped me realise a while back I should get out of this. I took too much time to be decisive about this.

Post: #18

(04-13-2018 02:37 AM)Wahawahwah Wrote:  You're much better off just calling off the relationship. Sit her down and let her know it's not working out.

The other way is to amp up the beta and neediness to the point that she feels disgusted and dumps you, but seriously just use this for the crazy ones. Start calling her at all times and tell her how you think she's too good for you and you're worried she will leave u. Talk about how depressed you are at work and how everyone is getting ahead of you in life. Ask her if your dick is good enough for her. Smother her with gifts and compliments all day every day. Tell her she reminds you of your mom and how similar both of them are. If y'all are young then talk about how you dream of having 6 kids and retiring to the countryside at 30. Etc

I did just stop talking to her and replying to her messages except for once every few days or so. That just made her nicer to me. So I started being kind of beta, started using smiley emoticons and made sure our conversations were very boring, mundane and non sexual.
I also started complaining to her a lot more. None of that other stuff you mention though.
That didn't work. It's what I've been doing the last few weeks.

Quote:If she's being nice and normal just sit her down and call it off to be honest. It would be the decent thing to do.

That's what I did today. She told me she's rented out her place in her city and will be coming back soon on a bus and asked if she could stay at my place. (I know terrible timing from me, last minute as usual)

I just told her "let's be honest with each other, everything will be great for a few weeks or a month or two and then we will start fighting again"

She blew up at me and got really angry. heh, She was yelling and accused me of seeing someone else, I started to defend myself like I have been defending myself here, by saying I was being quiet and not talking to her much because I was thinking about this decision. I told her at least I told her before she came back to my city and we were together, it's better I did it before.

I quickly realised defending myself was a waste of time. She was angry, got pissed at me for wasting her time and making her worry about me, threw in a couple insults, told me to fuck off and hung up on me.

She's probably kind of right, I should have done this sooner, but I think it would have ended badly whenever I did it. I feel a little bad for doing this right when she was excited to come see me. I think it would have been a lot worse to juggle both girls for a while and then break up with her (which a few weeks back that's what the selfish part of my brain was seriously thinking about)

Post: #19

(04-13-2018 09:37 AM)Nascimento Wrote:  Great input above.

What are the chances that if you stay with her, the relationship will be better than in the chaotic past?

Arguments are fine. The occasional fight is tolerable. But frequent issues as you've had are an obvious sign that you two are not as compatible as you once thought and that the relationship is beyond saving.

It's not easy to handle this situation, especially because given all those lows you've had, because when there's lust and attraction it ensures there's some incredible highs as well. I've been there.

End it with this girl and don't look back. You might not be sure it was the right decision just yet, but you will 6 months or a year from now.

Also, don't take for granted that you're in a best case sort of scenario. You already have another girl that cares for you. And don't compare her to your (soon to be ex).

All of this is very good advice thanks. I agree with all of it. Those recent highs were hard to forget and sad to move on from. I am now looking at the future rather than thinking about the past.

(04-13-2018 12:24 PM)kaotic Wrote:  It's obviously not hard for you to bang a new cute younger and sweet feminine girl. You're already doing that, we've spoke about this girl before

I think that might have been another girl.

(04-13-2018 02:46 AM)SamuelBRoberts Wrote:  What do you want to do with this? You listed three options, which of them do you want?

I guess I would like to be able to juggle girls but I've never been able to deal with the drama, headaches and scheduling. Also the cleaning and the lying. I hate it to be honest.
So I have decided to break up with her.

Post: #20

(04-15-2018 10:31 AM)RedPillUK Wrote:  

(04-13-2018 02:37 AM)Wahawahwah Wrote:  You're much better off just calling off the relationship. Sit her down and let her know it's not working out.

The other way is to amp up the beta and neediness to the point that she feels disgusted and dumps you, but seriously just use this for the crazy ones. Start calling her at all times and tell her how you think she's too good for you and you're worried she will leave u. Talk about how depressed you are at work and how everyone is getting ahead of you in life. Ask her if your dick is good enough for her. Smother her with gifts and compliments all day every day. Tell her she reminds you of your mom and how similar both of them are. If y'all are young then talk about how you dream of having 6 kids and retiring to the countryside at 30. Etc

I did just stop talking to her and replying to her messages except for once every few days or so. That just made her nicer to me. So I started being kind of beta, started using smiley emoticons and made sure our conversations were very boring, mundane and non sexual.
I also started complaining to her a lot more. None of that other stuff you mention though.
That didn't work. It's what I've been doing the last few weeks.

Quote:If she's being nice and normal just sit her down and call it off to be honest. It would be the decent thing to do.

That's what I did today. She told me she's rented out her place in her city and will be coming back soon on a bus and asked if she could stay at my place. (I know terrible timing from me, last minute as usual)

I just told her "let's be honest with each other, everything will be great for a few weeks or a month or two and then we will start fighting again"

She blew up at me and got really angry. heh, She was yelling and accused me of seeing someone else, I started to defend myself like I have been defending myself here, by saying I was being quiet and not talking to her much because I was thinking about this decision. I told her at least I told her before she came back to my city and we were together, it's better I did it before.

I quickly realised defending myself was a waste of time. She was angry, got pissed at me for wasting her time and making her worry about me, threw in a couple insults, told me to fuck off and hung up on me.

She's probably kind of right, I should have done this sooner, but I think it would have ended badly whenever I did it. I feel a little bad for doing this right when she was excited to come see me. I think it would have been a lot worse to juggle both girls for a while and then break up with her (which a few weeks back that's what the selfish part of my brain was seriously thinking about)

Just. Walk. Away.

Stop reacting off her reactions. Stop giving a flying fuck what she says or does.

Tell her you found someone else ten times better than her . Block her. Move on.

If you can't move on, then go out and keep banging chicks until it feels good to have moved on.

Rinse and repeat.

Browning wrote a book called 'ordinary men' about the Einzatsgruppen/ Dad's army reservists who shot women and children in newly occupied territory.
Were they executing under threat of death?
Were their lives in danger?

They were blowing the brains out of kids because they were scared of >upsetting the people around them<.
Some did walk away and they got frozen out.. looked over for promotion.

Sounds like avoiding that level of punishment would be a rationale for killing kids..

Kick this bitch to the kerb.