Post: #76

(02-13-2018 05:16 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  So, RB, you insist that a man should be able to defend his woman yet of the three instances you've provided one ended with you having the shit kicked out of you, another ended with a bunch of street vendors trying to diffuse the situation despite your worst intentions and the third I suspect ended with you scruffing some guy before being tossed out of the bar.

You seem to be confusing the act of starting a fight and the act of actually winning it. Only one of those is handy, but you seem to be an expert only in the other.

Rob would hate going to places, like India, where there are a ton of hawkers trying to peddle their cheap wares. They get in your face all the time there. It isn't personal.

That reminds me of this one time I was with a girl and having some drinks while on vacation. There was a lot of tourists from all over the world which means you get to interact with all sorts of strange people. Well, this one guy was drinking and he was just trying to have a good time. He was a little spastic and it rubbed people the wrong way. He ended up getting into a fight that night with another guy only to return drinking at the bar with me and the girl.

I noticed how he behaved and he didn't stop with me and my girl. He was a nice enough guy who was just having fun. He started getting a little too hands on with my girl so I got up and say that is enough mate. Mind you this wasn't in a angry tone, just a serious one.

He stopped immediately and we went back to having fun. He said to me a couple minutes later he really appreciated that I stopped him when he overstepped any boundaries and didn't take it personally.

We had a great time that night but it could have ended up badly if I were to take Rob's approach. This was much more than a guy getting in your girl's face with a flower.

There is a time when you need to get physical. Like the time, in the same country, where a guy wouldn't leave my girl alone in this club. He was on something and it got to the point where I had to get physical with him to make my point. This was only after I told him to back off.

Rob, the flower stuff is silly to get mad at. No one is trying to hurt you with a flower. I have a feeling this was more about your own ego than it was anything else. Trust me, I've allowed my own ego to get the best of me and I can say it was never worth it.

Post: #77

I don't know whether there are any absolutes in this domain.

My own feeling is that you should not allow yourself to be bullied or intimidated, because this does tremendous damage to your psyche. It is better to be measured, but forthright - even if it leads to violence, than to allow yourself to be cowed by someone using aggression as a weapon.

I remember when I was much younger, maybe 14 or 15, not standing up to someone who was being aggressive towards me, and to this day, I can still get quite pissed off at having been intimidated like this, and my own cowardice in response to it.

I'm sure it was part of the catalyst for my boxing career, and joining the military. It is one thing to balance the pros and cons of a situation and to walk away from conflict. That's prudent and mature, regardless of which outcome you opt for. However, it is quite another thing to allow cowardice to motivate your actions, and drive you towards a particular course of action that you then attempt to justify to yourself as prudence. I think the consequences of that are really very serious, and should be vehemently resisted, even if it may come at some physical cost.

There's very little call for real conflict in day to day life. Most normal men will go a life time without ever actually coming close to it. Should that day come though, and should you behave like a coward, I think you'll find that it can completely blow apart your sense of self and leave you with a very deep and lasting wound. We are all the heroes of our own stories, and to behave in an archetypically unheroic manner could pull you apart at the seams.

Post: #78

(02-13-2018 07:31 AM)H1N1 Wrote:  I don't know whether there are any absolutes in this domain.

My own feeling is that you should not allow yourself to be bullied or intimidated, because this does tremendous damage to your psyche. It is better to be measured, but forthright - even if it leads to violence, than to allow yourself to be cowed by someone using aggression as a weapon.

I remember when I was much younger, maybe 14 or 15, not standing up to someone who was being aggressive towards me, and to this day, I can still get quite pissed off at having been intimidated like this, and my own cowardice in response to it.

I'm sure it was part of the catalyst for my boxing career, and joining the military. It is one thing to balance the pros and cons of a situation and to walk away from conflict. That's prudent and mature, regardless of which outcome you opt for. However, it is quite another thing to allow cowardice to motivate your actions, and drive you towards a particular course of action that you then attempt to justify to yourself as prudence. I think the consequences of that are really very serious, and should be vehemently resisted, even if it may come at some physical cost.

There's very little call for real conflict in day to day life. Most normal men will go a life time without ever actually coming close to it. Should that day come though, and should you behave like a coward, I think you'll find that it can completely blow apart your sense of self and leave you with a very deep and lasting wound. We are all the heroes of our own stories, and to behave in an archetypically unheroic manner could pull you apart at the seams.

There are a million ways to avoid violence without losing face. You can even refuse to fight and still sound strong. Many men have no idea how to be assertive without being a dick. Assertiveness training sounds like psychobabble, but if you don't know about it, look into it, and you can learn a lot.

What the less aggressive guys do is just absorb disrespect till they can't take it anymore, then blow up in an inappropriate manner at the worst possible time with the worst possible person.

Part of the key is to catch disrespect early, name it, call it out, and say what you expect of the other person. Don't use the word disrespect, as that only reminds bullies of how the world disrespects them and they will turn the thing back on you.

Something as simple as "Whatever happened to 'excuse me?' said in a strong voice with good eye contact can forestall a lot of drama.

The guy I like to read is Marc MacYoung, who I have quoted before, because his self defense website is about 99% social skills.

His belief is that your best way to avoid violence is to know how to negotiate in tense situations.

http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/negotiation.htm

There is a lot of gold on his site, and one thing I always remember is his response when walking down the street with a woman, and some guys start challenging him by saying, hey, we want your girl, give us your girl man.

He stares at them with death in his eyes and says:

"That's her choice."

Perfect response.

Verbally he doesn't rise to the bait, nonverbally however, message delivered.

I have no real fighting skill, and I have talked my way out of a ton of potentially hairy situations, all without ever having to lose face, so far anyway.

Reading MacYoung as well as knowing a bit about assertiveness is what has bailed me out.

One thing that happened recently, that I can attribute completely to MacYoung, was a strong arm robbery I was able to avoid because I read this section on his website about the "Criminal Interview."

Basic idea is that criminals 'interview you' to see if you are a good target for a robbery, and if you fail the interview, they leave you alone and move on to someone else.

I was interviewed with the "regular" interview:

Quote: Regular - This is the most common form of interview for muggers. The criminal will approach you under the guise of normalcy, i.e., needing information or small item (e.g. matches). This is a distraction. While he is talking, he is not only getting in position to attack, but a) checking your awareness about what he is doing and b) your commitment to defending yourself.

This is why you should always be careful when someone approaches you in a fringe area and asks for something. Your answer should always be "no" and insist on him keeping his distance. Both muggers and stranger rapists often use this technique.

http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/interview.htm

I was having a smoke under an awning, it was raining and early in the morning, so, still dark, in a marginal area of town, and a couple of guys were walking past on the other side of the street. They stop, stare at me while talking to each other. That was the first sign I should have left, but I was too clueless, so they crossed the street towards me. They were smaller than me, but younger, and there were two of them.

They walk towards me and I say, "What's up guys," and one of them says, "we're just getting out of the rain," which is a good excuse to close the distance without setting off any alarm bells, but I still didn't get it, and I am starting to chat casually with them and I notice that one guys is talking to me, the other is silent, making no eye contact, and walking around to the other side of me to box me in. Finally a warning bell goes off in my head, and before he can get in position, in a extremely loud and super friendly voice I say, "STAY DRY GUYS!" and I walk briskly away from them and down the street.

After a few paces I look back over my shoulder, I see the two of them staring after me with somewhat shocked expressions on their faces, it was like my sudden move, along with the loud voice kind of shook them out of what they were doing, and mentally, they had to regroup.

A few more paces, I look back casually again, and they are following me (thought they wanted to get out of the rain.), and a few more and they are gone, probably down a side street.

Crisis averted. No robbery. No violence. No loss of face. If I ever win the lottery, I am kicking some of it down to MacYoung, his website has saved my bacon on a few occasions.

I still laugh sometimes at the shocked look on their faces when I yelled them to stay dry. I never even let on that I knew what they were up to, I was just, in their minds, a lost opportunity.

Post: #79

So much wisdom in the this thread, simply amazing.

Fighting is scary business.

As someone who has spent much of their developing years in a perpetual state of fear, I believe that no man should ever have to go through this. Which is why I believe every man owes it to himself to at least know how to attack and defend to some basic degree, regardless of the combat system. You will feel much more at peace as you navigate the world, knowing that should you need to, you have at least some tools to protect and defend that which is precious to you.

Boxing was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life, and I wish I had taken it up 10 years sooner instead of 3. I am 27 now, in some of the best shape of my life, and starting an amateur boxing career hopefully this year. In the past three years I have had the honor of immersing myself in a rich boxing tradition at a no-nonsense gym. Boxing has helped me overcome fear and has cleansed me of some of my deepest memories of regrets and shame at feeling fear and not fighting.

I think H1N1 touched on a great point about the pain one can carry from their formative years that manifests as aggression later on in life. I certainly can attest to this as I was a victim of bullying in my early teens. So much so that I contemplated murdering my attackers several times. These days I can look back and mostly shrug, but the visceral and lingering hurt of feeling helpless is very real, and every man owes it to himself to avoid feeling that way in the first place, and one of the best ways to do so is it to gain some confidence in your physical competence.

Also, debeguiled touched on a great point about situational awareness. It sounds like you were incredibly lucky there in avoiding what certainly could have been an attack. I have bookmarked the link for further reading, thank you. But I also think not every guy has the natural capacity for displaying such high levels of awareness as you did. Honestly, its great that you were able to spot them. In my current state, I would have caught it, but this is only because I have read a few books on body language and have devoted hundreds of hours to in field study on the subject. Now I can usually gauge someones intent based on their physical and verbal cues, but this has taken much study and practice.

Two useful books on body language I have found are What Every Body Is Saying by Joe Navarro, and The Definitive Book of Body Language by Barbara Pease. Also, a bonus on female specific body language that I found to be useful was Undercover Sex Signals by Leil Lowndes, which I believe has been circulated on this forum before but it also currently free for kindle users.

At any rate, the more I box the less I find I am aggressive outside of the gym, and I used to have a really bad temper, still do. I am just much better at controlling it now. In fact I am calmer, and I joke more and am generally more cheerful - possibly due to the boost in T from steady and rigorous training. I mostly avoid fights because I can usually see them coming from a mile away now, and would much rather preserve my body for training and smashin' puss.

If you haven't fought before, sign up for a gym: boxing, mma, bjj, right now. You owe it to yourself to overcome fear, to dissolve the ego, to get punched in the face and be humbled. There was nothing more humbling than being tattooed with hooks and crosses in the face all summer long sparring a former top 16 welterweight, then looking at the time clock and realizing it was just me and him in there in the next 3 minutes, and there was nowhere to run or hide, only to double down and fight back. I didn't always catch him but I locked in, and when I caught him I caught him good.

Then when I went back out into the world there was no need to fight. I left it all in the ring. These days I mostly feel empathy for people. I look into their eyes and I can see their pain and hurt and insecurities. Most times fights between men happen unnecessarily because we refuse to truly look at each other, to acknowledge each other, to let go of ego and emotion, to walk way.

Most recently I was out with my girl and her friends, drank too much, and almost got into it with three lacrosse frat bros at the bar. Each of these guys was atleast 6 feet 180lbs. I was by myself at the bar, but came with a group of 5 women, and a guy who I'm 95 percent sure would not have thrown a punch for me. I was in the grips of incredible anger and felt like I could hook the heads off these fools, just because they rolled in like AMOGs and skipped me at the bar. I even walked right through their group, bumping one in the shoulder as I got to the bar. In retrospect, this was especially stupid since I only stand at 6 feet 160 lbs. These guys could have easily mauled me proper before any help showed up. We had a tense standoff and a stare down but ultimately they walked away. (Thank God.) I could have gotten my ass handed to me, or worse, all because I didn't like that I got skipped by the bar!

I quickly realized my luck, grabbed my girl and her friends and casually changed venues. Don't ever go looking for a fight, but if it ever comes to you, by God I hope you know what to do.

Post: #80

Quote:So, RB, you insist that a man should be able to defend his woman yet of the three instances you've provided one ended with you having the shit kicked out of you, another ended with a bunch of street vendors trying to diffuse the situation despite your worst intentions and the third I suspect ended with you scruffing some guy before being tossed out of the bar.

You seem to be confusing the act of starting a fight and the act of actually winning it. Only one of those is handy, but you seem to be an expert only in the other.

Leonard,

First of all, I didn't start any of these fights. In every instance, it was the other guy who put his hands on me or my girl first. I guess you could argue that I should just ignore it if some guy puts his unwanted hands on my girl in a bar or on the street, but I don't see it that way. If it were just words, that would be different, but once some guy touches her and she is clearly uncomfortable, I can't just walk away.

Also, the situation where I shoved the street vendor, he didn't fight back. All he did was bitch to his buddies and flip me off. He was clearly too pussy to punch me after I shoved him. I would say this is pretty close to "winning," unless you think I should have punched him out after I shoved him.

The only situation where I clearly got my ass kicked was with the big guy in the car, and I specifically told that story because it involved me getting my ass kicked, in order to make a point.

I have also been in fights that I have clearly and desicively won. I used to train at a boxing gym. There has also been situations where all it took was a threat and a look on my face like I was ready to fight, and the other guy backed off. Not that I need to prove any of this to you.

So far in this thread, you have referred to me as "batshit crazy," told me not to have kids, referred to my girl as "very low class," and told me I am a shitty fighter who is unable to defend his woman. All this despite the fact that you have never met me or my girl.

This is not the first time you have responded to a post of mine with insults and personal attacks.

I know you have a problem with me because of things I have said in other threads in the past, but is it really necessary to throw all these personal insults at me every time I post something? I mean, obviously you can say whatever you want. It just seems unnecessary and it makes it harder for me to have serious discussions with people.

PS: Notice I don't have a problem with your criticism of how I handled the situations, just the baseless personal insults.

Post: #81

It’s one thing to get into a fight with a random dude in your hometown, someone who you may have a social link to, a person who may give you a beat down, but likely won’t kill you intentionally. It’s an entirely other thing to start shit with an African at the Eiffel tower, who doesn’t have anything to lose and comes from a culture where fighting means killing. I’d say that you got off easy considering that you pushed him in front of his fellow flower pushers.

For the record, I was ripped off by an African at the Eiffel tower in 1999 at the age of 16 and when I told my tour guide, she told me to forget it, so I did.

Post: #82

Rob, you're incapable of even determining what constitutes "starting a fight".

"The guy touched my girl's hair, ergo he started the fight."

Uhh, no. At best he triggered a confrontation. If you wound up in front of a judge and said "your honour, he touched my girlfriend's hair, therefore when I punched him in the nose I was acting in defence of my girlfriend", the Judge would laugh his ass off and then find you guilty of common assault.

He started a confrontation.

You started a fight.

How do you not comprehend this?

Pushing a guy is starting a fight. Putting a flower up to a girl's nose is not. This is something 99% of the 1st world's population recognises inherently. You were guilty of assault when you pushed that vendor, and even if the jury was comprised entirely of RVF members they would still come to that finding.

And you're right that your less-than-commendable posts from months past are going to follow you around like a bad smell. This is not kindergarten where you get to start fresh every day. Members demonstrating a consistently warped world view are not entitled a clean slate when they talk about going ghetto on common street vendors.

Post: #83

This is why the passive aggressives win in life. They know how to do just enough to trigger the aggressives and retain plausible deniability.

Post: #84

Quote:He started a confrontation.

You started a fight.

How do you not comprehend this?

Ok, fair enough. He started the confrontation and provoked me into starting the fight. I think I was justified. If you don't think so, that's fine.

Quote:I'd say that you got off easy considering that you pushed him in front of his fellow flower pushers

And they all but took my side and told him to calm down. I guarantee that if they had thought I was in the wrong, they would have taken his side and been way more aggressive towards me.

Quote:And you're right that your less-than-commendable posts from months past are going to follow you around like a bad smell. This is not kindergarten where you get to start fresh every day. Members demonstrating a consistently warped world view are not entitled a clean slate when they talk about going ghetto on common street vendors.

No, I don't expect to get a "blank slate." I do expect this to be a forum where I can post what I think, get negative feedback if what I'm saying isn't right (like I did in the past), learn from my mistakes and what other forum members say to me, and then move on.

If you think my world view is too "warped" to be able to learn from my mistakes, and that giving me constructive criticism would be a waste of time, then maybe you can just ignore me.

There are plenty of people who had a problem with some of the things I said in the past, but they are not responding to every post I make to insult me and tell me how stupid I am.

Post: #85

When I was a kid/teenager I would fight anyone who even hinted at disrespect. Say, teasing me with a joke I didn't laugh at.

As an adult (30) I've been in under 10 fights. Three were one sided beatdowns when someone stole from me and I wanted to deal with it in house. The rest were self defense.

There's way too many ways a fight can stray from "one on one unarmed combat" and leave you six feet deep.

Post: #86

Delete.

Post: #87

I have a slightly different take on this. I believe that cowardice is a virtue when it comes to psychical altercations.

I learned this lesson when once in the gym I had an argument with a guy much bigger than me. I called him a gaandu (asshole in hindi). In the next 10 seconds I found myself choked against the wall and forced to apologise to get my breath back. That hurt my ego badly since it was rush hour in the gym but it taught me a vital lesson about nature.

Cowardice is nature's protective mechanism and needed for evolution and survival. Will you ever see a dog fight a lion because it wants to feel courageous and not lose self respect? No. It will just move away.

The bravado and all can feel nice but if it does crazy damage to you, it serves a poor example of cost-benefit since no one will remember the fight but for that little amount of self-respect, you'll be fucked for ever.

I have an extreme view on this - I feel it's even ok to be bullied and let your ego suffer than to suffer physical damage.

Bravery is to be reserved for your own life - the decisions you take to move your life towards a vision you have. Not for fights and short term glory oriented things.

I love this quote by Lao Tzu - " A man with outward courage dares to die, A man with inner courage dares to live".

Post: #88

(03-10-2018 12:33 AM)testos111 Wrote:  I have a slightly different take on this. I believe that cowardice is a virtue when it comes to psychical altercations.

I learned this lesson when once in the gym I had an argument with a guy much bigger than me. I called him a gaandu (asshole in hindi). In the next 10 seconds I found myself choked against the wall and forced to apologise to get my breath back. That hurt my ego badly since it was rush hour in the gym but it taught me a vital lesson about nature.

Cowardice is nature's protective mechanism and needed for evolution and survival. Will you ever see a dog fight a lion because it wants to feel courageous and not lose self respect? No. It will just move away.

The bravado and all can feel nice but if it does crazy damage to you, it serves a poor example of cost-benefit since no one will remember the fight but for that little amount of self-respect, you'll be fucked for ever.

I have an extreme view on this - I feel it's even ok to be bullied and let your ego suffer than to suffer physical damage.

Bravery is to be reserved for your own life - the decisions you take to move your life towards a vision you have. Not for fights and short term glory oriented things.

I love this quote by Lao Tzu - " A man with outward courage dares to die, A man with inner courage dares to live".

You call that "virtue". I call that being a little bitch.

Running from confrontations. Accepting bullying... You think THAT doesn't affect your ego and psyche?

Post: #89

(03-10-2018 09:47 AM)Dulceácido Wrote:  

(03-10-2018 12:33 AM)testos111 Wrote:  I have a slightly different take on this. I believe that cowardice is a virtue when it comes to psychical altercations.

I learned this lesson when once in the gym I had an argument with a guy much bigger than me. I called him a gaandu (asshole in hindi). In the next 10 seconds I found myself choked against the wall and forced to apologise to get my breath back. That hurt my ego badly since it was rush hour in the gym but it taught me a vital lesson about nature.

Cowardice is nature's protective mechanism and needed for evolution and survival. Will you ever see a dog fight a lion because it wants to feel courageous and not lose self respect? No. It will just move away.

The bravado and all can feel nice but if it does crazy damage to you, it serves a poor example of cost-benefit since no one will remember the fight but for that little amount of self-respect, you'll be fucked for ever.

I have an extreme view on this - I feel it's even ok to be bullied and let your ego suffer than to suffer physical damage.

Bravery is to be reserved for your own life - the decisions you take to move your life towards a vision you have. Not for fights and short term glory oriented things.

I love this quote by Lao Tzu - " A man with outward courage dares to die, A man with inner courage dares to live".

You call that "virtue". I call that being a little bitch.

Running from confrontations. Accepting bullying... You think THAT doesn't affect your ego and psyche?

Fine, that's your view. For me, a "little bitch" is someone who refuses to live an authentic life.

You show me a person scared to leave the 9-5 because of insecurity but yet have enough bravado to take on 10 men at the local pub. I would still call this person a little bitch.

I judge a person's bravery by the amount of risks they are willing to live the life of their dreams, not by some meaningless fight.

I'm not saying both those aspects are mutually exclusive but just pointing out that people usually give more credit to external bravado then it actually deserves.

And you talk about the ego? Ego is actually the issue why most people never find fulfilling happiness. Read a bit of Buddhism and it'll open your mind up.

Animals live on instinct too so there's no thing to be proud of there. Intuition is higher than instinct and for me the one who knows the difference between the two is the "man".

Post: #90

(03-10-2018 10:37 AM)testos111 Wrote:  SNIP

While I agree that fighting is generally unnecessary and is basically the failure of all negotiation and communication. I'm not condoning random violence.

But, you're talking about just wandering around being taken advantage of, bullied, picked on, intimidated, etc.

I agree with your analogy about the job and overcoming the fear of change. But, you can't live your life being picked on... You don't have to have a fist fight, but you don't just endure it for the sake of avoiding any sort of confrontation.

Post: #91

(03-10-2018 10:48 AM)Dulceácido Wrote:  

(03-10-2018 10:37 AM)testos111 Wrote:  SNIP

While I agree that fighting is generally unnecessary and is basically the failure of all negotiation and communication. I'm not condoning random violence.

But, you're talking about just wandering around being taken advantage of, bullied, picked on, intimidated, etc.

I agree with your analogy about the job and overcoming the fear of change. But, you can't live your life being picked on... You don't have to have a fist fight, but you don't just endure it for the sake of avoiding any sort of confrontation.

Since the topic was about fighting, that's exactly what confrontation would refer to here. Of course I'm not saying that you invite bullying or intimidation at the hand of others. There are ways to deal with that without fighting and just being firm. Being firm can also mean just walking away or talking things out but most people won't do that since it hurts their ego. They would rather get beat up and wear that as a badge of "honour". I see a ton of people like that and for me that's plain stupid.

Post: #92

(03-10-2018 12:33 AM)testos111 Wrote:  I have a slightly different take on this. I believe that cowardice is a virtue when it comes to psychical altercations.

I learned this lesson when once in the gym I had an argument with a guy much bigger than me. I called him a gaandu (asshole in hindi). In the next 10 seconds I found myself choked against the wall and forced to apologise to get my breath back. That hurt my ego badly since it was rush hour in the gym but it taught me a vital lesson about nature.

Cowardice is nature's protective mechanism and needed for evolution and survival. Will you ever see a dog fight a lion because it wants to feel courageous and not lose self respect? No. It will just move away.

The bravado and all can feel nice but if it does crazy damage to you, it serves a poor example of cost-benefit since no one will remember the fight but for that little amount of self-respect, you'll be fucked for ever.

I have an extreme view on this - I feel it's even ok to be bullied and let your ego suffer than to suffer physical damage.

Bravery is to be reserved for your own life - the decisions you take to move your life towards a vision you have. Not for fights and short term glory oriented things.

I love this quote by Lao Tzu - " A man with outward courage dares to die, A man with inner courage dares to live".

I was bullied in 6th and 7th grade. After starting growth spurts (eventually reaching 6'3") I started brutally mashing out anyone who tried some slick shit leading to popularity, pussy, and 3 expulsions. No regrets at all.

You don't need to fight over disrespect. But persistent disrespect (bullying) calls for animalistic savagery.

Post: #93

Quote:I have an extreme view on this - I feel it's even ok to be bullied and let your ego suffer than to suffer physical damage.

That is so silly, I don't believe that you believe it at all.

Bruises heal in days, wounds to your psyche may never heal at all, as your's from the gym incident obviously haven't. Rather than admitting that incident left you broken and fearful, you dress it up as being a virtuous decision, just like SJW's call their cowardice by the euphemism "tolerance".

No, cowardice is not a virtue. This is not year zero, when you can invert any and all values to assuage your feelings.

Post: #94

All talk of running away or throwing down at every slight are tossed out the window when you have a wife and/or kids in tow.

I never quite knew what a measured response to threat vs insult was until I had to shield my loved ones from it. Maybe some of you had a little brother or sister much younger than you at some point in your life. Try to imagine how you would have dealt with these situations if they were in your care. You'll find it mostly comes down to signalling strength while removing yourself from the situation, only fighting if there is no option for extraction and if forced to fight doing so like your life depended on it.

Post: #95

You, sir, are a mega-puss.

This is how it's done:

Post: #96

^Disturbingly I've had to deal with quite a few assholes like that, who thought their small child was a great piece of armour for not getting their asses beat while acting like aggressive fuckwits. I count them among the lowest scum of humanity.

Post: #97

How would you guys handle a situation where you are in a foreign country, don't understand the language (at least on a colloquial level), and you are approached by "toughs" whereby you don't know whether they mean business, are just fucking around, or due to some miscommunication/misunderstanding you think that they mean business, when in reality the opposite holds true?

I've been in these situations a couple of times. Thankfully, just ignoring them, not saying a word/acknowledging them, and moving on was all that was needed. I do wonder how to handle those situations where moving on cannot or does not work.

Post: #98

If they're seriously spoiling for a fight then you're screwed. If not then buy them a drink or play the fool. Have a basic phrase ready for:

"No no no. Russian man very tough. Big muscles. No thankyou!"

Alter nationality and language as required, or if the language skills are lacking then make sure your pantomime is on point and use broken English as above.

A combination of these two has taken several deadly serious situations for me and turned them into pleasant encounters. Those were fights I definitely wasn't going to win.

Post: #99

(03-11-2018 08:05 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  If they're seriously spoiling for a fight then you're screwed. If not then buy them a drink or play the fool. Have a basic phrase ready for:

"No no no. Russian man very tough. Big muscles. No thankyou!"

Alter nationality and language as required, or if the language skills are lacking then make sure your pantomime is on point and use broken English as above.

A combination of these two has taken several deadly serious situations for me and turned them into pleasant encounters. Those were fights I definitely wasn't going to win.

Which one of these two should you emulate?




Winning!



Maybe leave out the kissing part.

Post: #100

I'll admit it's a huge adrenaline rush, even when you lose. I last got into a serious fight in 2011. I might have mentioned it on this forum before, but I white knighted for a girl who was getting pushed around. The guy was a university rugby player or rower, much taller and muscular than me, but I was drunk and thought my intermediate(ish) boxing skills would see me through. I got battered.

Then the girl (turns out she was his girlfriend) I was trying to protect told the police I'd started it for no reason. Thankfully, some local take away owners who liked me and saw the whole thing told the police what had actually happened. I declined to press charges even though I had mutual friends with the guy. Fair fight and all that.

A year and a half later, I'd joined the forum and realised never to white knight in those situations ever again. I doubt I'll ever get into a fist fight again, I'm too old, mature, and simply don't go into those types of environments often enough. But I recommend everyone to learn something like Muay Thai, Boxing etc because in most situations where you're forced to fight, it helps. I was just in there with someone so much bigger that it would need me to be a pro or something for it to negate the size difference.