Post: #1

I'm not in this position but I probably have to prepare early.

Hypothetical: You have a GF. Everything is decent. But she wants to go out clubbing (without you) a lot or has a lot of girls nights out. How do you show that you don't like it without being the jealous BF or controlling BF? What about if she hangs out with her male "friends". How do you lay down the law that it is not acceptable without looking like a butthurt jealous loser?

Post: #2

When she does that it's a perfect excuse to go out with your buddies and chase new poon.
And if you are jealous like that better keep more than one woman around.
Personally I would always have the opposite problem - I'd want to go out without the girl but she would get upset, want to tag along, etc.

Post: #3

Don't keep party girls as "girlfriends." Use them for fucks, and leave it at that.

Fuck lots of girls. This is the best way to take pussy off the pedestal.

Once the pussy is off the pedestal, becoming jealous of one sounds ridiculous.

Post: #4

(03-07-2012 08:43 PM)Skyhigh Wrote:  Hypothetical: You have a GF.

Mistake #1, stopped reading after that.

If you're having an LTR with a chick that still likes to club with the girls, she's too young to be having an LTR.

Post: #5

Skyhigh.
What would you be jealous about?

Your girl going out and dancing w/ some guys, maybe fantasizing about fucking them/actually potentially fucking them?

if you don't get over your jealously about your girl (or any girl) fucking another guy.. I don't care if he is a foot taller than you, his dick is 2x the size of yours and he's a billionaire.... you'll never truly be free of her influence over you. you gotta come to grips with the possibility that your girl will always think about other guys, especially as long as you act insecure. the only way for a woman to truly worship you and only you, is for you to have the power in the relationship and she needs to be completely replaceable. don't let your fear of her going out and being surrounded by other guys a source of insecurity. if anything you should ENCOURAGE her to go out with her friends.

Jealousy = insecurity almost always. and it's very easy to see that in these situations

I can't tell you how to get over it, maybe some here can. but you have to move past it

Post: #6

(03-07-2012 10:30 PM)rozayINTL Wrote:  Skyhigh.
What would you be jealous about?

Your girl going out and dancing w/ some guys, maybe fantasizing about fucking them/actually potentially fucking them?

if you don't get over your jealously about your girl (or any girl) fucking another guy.. I don't care if he is a foot taller than you, his dick is 2x the size of yours and he's a billionaire.... you'll never truly be free of her influence over you. you gotta come to grips with the possibility that your girl will always think about other guys, especially as long as you act insecure. the only way for a woman to truly worship you and only you, is for you to have the power in the relationship and she needs to be completely replaceable. don't let your fear of her going out and being surrounded by other guys a source of insecurity. if anything you should ENCOURAGE her to go out with her friends.

Jealousy = insecurity almost always. and it's very easy to see that in these situations

I can't tell you how to get over it, maybe some here can. but you have to move past it

First off, im not jealous because i dont have a gf

2nd if he was a foot taller than me with a 2x penis he would be an NBA center with a circus freak dick.

Post: #7

(03-07-2012 09:30 PM)MSW2007 Wrote:  Don't keep party girls as "girlfriends." Use them for fucks, and leave it at that.

This

Post: #8

If you are even asking yourself this question is because you suffer from at least mild one-itis, or/and you are not getting enough pussy on the side.

Now, if you aren't jelous, but don't like that in her, here are some things to keep in mind:

* You are fucked, you can't control other people and expect to do what you say.
* You can tell her things the way they are, just do it in a calm i-don't-really-care-I-just-don't-like-it kind of way. Case closed. However don't expect to do what you say.

Post: #9

cool. just trying to help.

you have to address the source of your jealousy or it will be pretty obvious that you're an insecure mangina. I was just laying out a couple of examples.

if you have nothing to be jealous over, then why would you need to actively try to not be jealous or controlling..

Post: #10

(03-07-2012 11:24 PM)rozayINTL Wrote:  cool. just trying to help.

you have to address the source of your jealousy or it will be pretty obvious that you're an insecure mangina. I was just laying out a couple of examples.

if you have nothing to be jealous over, then why would you need to actively try to not be jealous or controlling..

It's not about being jealous or controlling, it's about appearing jealous or controlling in her eyes.

Post: #11

If you're going down the LTR root you just have to accept the risk. If she cheats/you suspect cheating, dump her and get a new one. If not, then all is well. The main thing is not to care. If she fucks some other guy, so be it. Have a nice life etc.

Don't derive happiness or meaning from other people, that way when other people fuck you over you can just deal with it and move on. Jealousy comes from fear of losing her, that's what you really have to tackle.

Post: #12

(03-07-2012 11:53 PM)dulst Wrote:  If you're going down the LTR root you just have to accept the risk. If she cheats/you suspect cheating, dump her and get a new one. If not, then all is well. The main thing is not to care. If she fucks some other guy, so be it. Have a nice life etc.

Don't derive happiness or meaning from other people, that way when other people fuck you over you can just deal with it and move on. Jealousy comes from fear of losing her, that's what you really have to tackle.

So true.

Post: #13

(03-07-2012 11:53 PM)dulst Wrote:  Jealousy comes from fear of losing her, that's what you really have to tackle.

The end game is to not care about losing her, because pussy is pussy and there is always fresh pussy out there to replace her.

Post: #14

I see it as a good thing.

If a girl of mine goes out and finds another guy.. It's a win; I get to break it off guilt-free and get an upgrade.
If she doesn't get with another guy.. I've lost notihng, and she's brought down a peg in terms of relative value.

The end game is finding someone who doesn't do things that piss you off.

Post: #15

(03-08-2012 04:42 AM)Kitsune Wrote:  I see it as a good thing.

If a girl of mine goes out and finds another guy.. It's a win; I get to break it off guilt-free and get an upgrade.
If she doesn't get with another guy.. I've lost notihng, and she's brought down a peg in terms of relative value.

The end game is finding someone who doesn't do things that piss you off.

There is no such person. Even "perfect" couples have things that piss their partners off. Your own tolerance is a big factor.

Post: #16

Women shouldn't have enough importance for you to be jealous. They should be jealous of you, and constantly working for your approval. When you become jealous, you've lost.

Post: #17

(03-08-2012 04:53 AM)dulst Wrote:  

(03-08-2012 04:42 AM)Kitsune Wrote:  I see it as a good thing.

If a girl of mine goes out and finds another guy.. It's a win; I get to break it off guilt-free and get an upgrade.
If she doesn't get with another guy.. I've lost notihng, and she's brought down a peg in terms of relative value.

The end game is finding someone who doesn't do things that piss you off.

There is no such person. Even "perfect" couples have things that piss their partners off. Your own tolerance is a big factor.

My tolerance is pretty high, so girls have to really try to piss me off. Bizarre really that they do, because I tell them beforehand if they do they are out the door.

Post: #18

Girlfriend game is my forte. I normally have a LTR followed by 6 months of debauchery followed by another LTR. However I have no moral problems with cheating, it actually turns me on 10x more than being single and picking up some strange, im guessing thats why I prefer to have a GF. It adds a whole new level.

So heres my scoop:

I was jealous when I was younger. I soon realized it wasnt worth it. I also soon realized the less jealous and more emotionally detached you are, they more it drives them wild. I have had girlfriends try to make me jealous in clubs by dirty dancing with another dude, Im fine with that because I know she is more invested emotionally into the relationship, so when I act that way it affects her much more then when she does it to me. And if she does want to go home with a dude that is a foot taller than me with 2x the dick, even better! Ill find something for myself anyways and cue the duck boats for the next cycle of debauchery.

If you decide the go the girlfriend route, have 2-3 booty calls lines up on the side. If you don't want to cheat thats fine, just flirt with from time to time and keep them attracted. Then when you GF gets all stupid, you already have access to poon.

Also have a rock solid Girl-Bro. Make sure she is attractive, with attractive friends. I have one that I tell about every single adventure I have without fear that she will ever stab me in the back and use that info to try to fuck me over. She also calls me drunk when she is around her friends, so when the time comes I have no need to even to game her friends, she has already gamed them for me. And you have access to social proof that already knows your background, so will not be jealous when your macking while your out with her. As a side note: constantly mack your Girl-Bro. Never fuck her or ditch her for poon unless she is cool with it. She is just way too valuable to lose as a friend, she will supply you with massive amount of pussy through your life. And the six best words she could possibly ever mention to one of her hot friends are "Stay away from Anti, He's trouble".

Continue to network, continue to game, continue to be a man.

Hang out with her male friends with her. Nothing will drive her more bat-shit insane than when her guy friends start to talk to you more then her. Then you never have to worry about them again, unless you piss her off and she goes for the revenge fuck. Which brings me to my next point:

And choose your GF with extreme care. None of this dating someone after knowing them for 2 weeks bullshit. Thats how guys get cheated on.

You do that, and you will never be the butthole jealous loser.

Post: #19

"A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity."

Heinlein

Post: #20

(03-08-2012 07:26 AM)AntiTrace Wrote:  Girlfriend game is my forte. I normally have a LTR followed by 6 months of debauchery followed by another LTR. However I have no moral problems with cheating, it actually turns me on 10x more than being single and picking up some strange, im guessing thats why I prefer to have a GF. It adds a whole new level.

So heres my scoop:

I was jealous when I was younger. I soon realized it wasnt worth it. I also soon realized the less jealous and more emotionally detached you are, they more it drives them wild. I have had girlfriends try to make me jealous in clubs by dirty dancing with another dude, Im fine with that because I know she is more invested emotionally into the relationship, so when I act that way it affects her much more then when she does it to me. And if she does want to go home with a dude that is a foot taller than me with 2x the dick, even better! Ill find something for myself anyways and cue the duck boats for the next cycle of debauchery.

If you decide the go the girlfriend route, have 2-3 booty calls lines up on the side. If you don't want to cheat thats fine, just flirt with from time to time and keep them attracted. Then when you GF gets all stupid, you already have access to poon.

Also have a rock solid Girl-Bro. Make sure she is attractive, with attractive friends. I have one that I tell about every single adventure I have without fear that she will ever stab me in the back and use that info to try to fuck me over. She also calls me drunk when she is around her friends, so when the time comes I have no need to even to game her friends, she has already gamed them for me. And you have access to social proof that already knows your background, so will not be jealous when your macking while your out with her. As a side note: constantly mack your Girl-Bro. Never fuck her or ditch her for poon unless she is cool with it. She is just way too valuable to lose as a friend, she will supply you with massive amount of pussy through your life. And the six best words she could possibly ever mention to one of her hot friends are "Stay away from Anti, He's trouble".

Continue to network, continue to game, continue to be a man.

Hang out with her male friends with her. Nothing will drive her more bat-shit insane than when her guy friends start to talk to you more then her. Then you never have to worry about them again, unless you piss her off and she goes for the revenge fuck. Which brings me to my next point:

And choose your GF with extreme care. None of this dating someone after knowing them for 2 weeks bullshit. Thats how guys get cheated on.

You do that, and you will never be the butthole jealous loser.

Solid post man.

Post: #21

(03-07-2012 08:43 PM)Skyhigh Wrote:  I'm not in this position but I probably have to prepare early.

Hypothetical: You have a GF. Everything is decent. But she wants to go out clubbing (without you) a lot or has a lot of girls nights out. How do you show that you don't like it without being the jealous BF or controlling BF? What about if she hangs out with her male "friends". How do you lay down the law that it is not acceptable without looking like a butthurt jealous loser?

Pick certain types of girls to date. If you're observant enough you can tell which ones are solid for a LTR and which aren't. There's nothing wrong with your girlfriend having a girls night out. The issue arises if and when she starts pulling shit, like saying she'll be home at 10 and then either not coming home at all or coming home hours later. Since I have good 'girl radar' this has never happened to me however it's happened to friends of mine. Personally I would consider that disrespectful and wouldn't put up with it.

Before you date her you should set ground rules. I don't mean having a conversation with her about what they are. I mean that in your own mind, you make the decision beforehand about what's acceptable and what's not. This may vary for different guys. If she's doing stuff that's unacceptable to you, then get rid of her.

I find the best answer to your question is to just eliminate the problem at it's source. What I mean is date girls who don't try to make you jealous and who genuinely want to make you happy. Despite the myriad of slores out there, girls like that still exist.

Post: #22

(03-08-2012 05:01 AM)Aliblahba Wrote:  Women shouldn't have enough importance for you to be jealous. They should be jealous of you, and constantly working for your approval. When you become jealous, you've lost.

This. In every relationship there is one person who has more control than the other. There is one person that wants their partner more than the other. Which one would you rather be? The person who cares the least has the most control.

By being constantly aloof, getting pussy on the side, and generally maintaining a "I don't give a fuck about any girl" mentality, you guarantee that the girl will always want you more than you want her, and she'll be too busy trying to capture your attention to pursue other guys. If you were in a LTR, presumably you would have established enough trust at that point, you would FEEL that this girl would never cheat on you because you'd established so much attraction with her. When a girl is genuinely INTO you, they don't want attention from other guys and they only go out clubbing because it's her gf's birthday or some shit.

Post: #23

(03-08-2012 05:01 AM)Aliblahba Wrote:  Women shouldn't have enough importance for you to be jealous. They should be jealous of you, and constantly working for your approval. When you become jealous, you've lost.

This. In every relationship there is one person who has more control than the other. There is one person that wants their partner more than the other. Which one would you rather be?

By being constantly aloof, getting pussy on the side, and generally maintaining a "I don't give a fuck about any girl" mentality, you guarantee that the girl will always want you more than you want her, and she'll be too busy trying to capture your attention to pursue other guys. If you were in a LTR, presumably you would have established enough trust at that point, you would FEEL that this girl would never cheat on you because you'd established so much attraction with her. When a girl is genuinely INTO you, they don't want attention from other guys and they only go out clubbing because it's her gf's birthday or some shit.

Post: #24

(03-08-2012 10:28 AM)Neo Wrote:  

(03-07-2012 08:43 PM)Skyhigh Wrote:  I'm not in this position but I probably have to prepare early.

Hypothetical: You have a GF. Everything is decent. But she wants to go out clubbing (without you) a lot or has a lot of girls nights out. How do you show that you don't like it without being the jealous BF or controlling BF? What about if she hangs out with her male "friends". How do you lay down the law that it is not acceptable without looking like a butthurt jealous loser?

I find the best answer to your question is to just eliminate the problem at it's source. What I mean is date girls who don't try to make you jealous and who genuinely want to make you happy. Despite the myriad of slores out there, girls like that still exist.

+1. The decision point is not when you're deciding how to respond to her desire to go clubbing. It's when you're choosing a GF, and picking the right one. Personally, if a girl tells me she goes clubbing regularly, I immediately think she's a worthless twat good for nothing but sex. The things that would make a girl like clubbing regularly would make me not like her as a person. But you may be different - you might like a girl who happens to go clubbing a lot. There is a tendency among pickup guys to attribute waaaay too much influence to what you do, and not enough to who she is as a person, before you ever met. There are things you can do, but there are also pre-existing tendencies influencing her actions. Don't take the blame for everything.

Part of my problem with clubbing is that for me to want to commit to a girl, I have to be very high on her list of priorities. Every girl has them - work, friends, hobbies, sleep, etc. It seems like more than ever, girls today may want a boyfriend, but they aren't willing to make him a priority. They fill their calendar with dumb inane shit, don't take breaks from their friends to honestly find a man, and when they do, they don't make him much of a priority. I've mentioned this to non-RVF guys and girls, and they say my requirement that I be a top priority for her is controlling, domineering, stifling, whatever. But I'm just not inspired to commit when the girl herself won't give me my proper due. If you're so 'independent,' you can do without my commitment, and we'll just bang. This mentality also makes 'independent' women and pussy ass dudes really really mad.

If she's routinely doing stuff like this, she takes you for granted, she doesn't respect you all that much, or is just indifferent. Psychologically, the fact that she's putting other things above you is devaluing you in her mind. Otherwise, if you were so valuable, why wouldn't you be a higher priority?

It's easy to mistake sex for affection. But even if girls aren't fucking more guys than say twenty years ago, I definitely see them getting less attached, sex becoming more detached from affection, the whole thing becoming a mechanical transaction. That means when they do fuck you, it means a whole lot less, and that your relationship with her will not change as much as it did in the past. Your relationships have much less foundation than they once did, and she is not giving up as much for them.

Antitrace has a good response too.

Post: #25

Great advice in here, you really should take it to heart. Some smart motherfuckers on the forum today!

1. Only date a girl who doesn't TRY to make you jealous, and isn't a party girl. Party girls are for fucking, good girls for dating.
2. Work on your confidence and game so you KNOW that if you two split up, you are one cool motherfucker who can snag up a new girl (or three) no problem.
3. Don't get one-itis. I.E., don't get so infatuated with one girl that you put her on a pedestal. To combat this, see number two. Or, if you are not in a committed relationship and you are just "dating", have a few other girls you are talking to/fucking. One-itis comes from having only ONE girl. Once you get a couple more, you won't give a shit about any one of them too much.

How old are you? I know the older I get, the less jealous I become. Don't really give a fuck anymore. Girls are completely replaceable. I think age and girl games have a lot to do with jealousy.