Post: #26

The only way a long term relationship can work for you with a girl who has poor relationship sensibilities is if you simply don't care. If you are still banging other girls but just like having this hot piece of ass to go home to and have on your arm at parties then that is the best mentality to have. She really sounds like a "she's not yours just your turn" kind of girl.

Post: #27

(01-23-2018 06:24 AM)Phineas Wrote:  She's 31. Yep total bullshit answer. Her mother also has Asperger's – ie. emotional neglect.
Hey Ends, you made me realise where all this was heading and why I found her so exciting... got myself caught in the ol' BPD beartrap (didn't recognise it as she hasn't been angry with me but has a history of anger outbursts with her friends and past relationships). She certainly has abandonment issues - good call about "being fucked in the head"

So, she has BPD characteristics?

If I were in your situation... this is where I would get her into the kinkiest shit that turned me on. I'd straight bust out the whips and ball gags! I would push her limits in the bedroom and see if she likes it.

If she is really BPD then she will happily play along. Then just let the relationship play out. Eventually her crazyness will exert itself and you can dump her... until she is ready to come back for more. I'd play that game for at least a year or so... Imagine any kinky shit you have wanted to try, but never had the opportunity. If you play it right, BPD chicks are the kind that will actually bring other women to you for threesomes!

Post: #28

In case it hasn't been said, NO!, you cant turn a hoe into a housewife. Move on.

Post: #29

Nope.

Post: #30

She looked you in the eyes and lied to you about cheating on her ex. That should give you your answer right there.

Usually with these Seeking advice posts, the OP usually writes a novel and 99% of it is male hamstring. I think it's hard to see the red flags when it's happening in our own real life. We can give advice and tell others what to do, but when it comes to our own lives....there is always that "Yeah, BUT...".

Just look at your situation from the outside looking in.

Your gut knows what you need to do. Listen to it.

Post: #31

She lied to you about something serious to you. She looked you dead in the eyes and lied to you.

Where I come from this is not relationship material, in fact it's almost criminal.

Post: #32

Red flags

Post: #33

You can take the girl out of the party, but you can't take the party out of the girl.

Post: #34

(01-23-2018 10:29 AM)General Stalin Wrote:  The only way a long term relationship can work for you with a girl who has poor relationship sensibilities is if you simply don't care. If you are still banging other girls but just like having this hot piece of ass to go home to and have on your arm at parties then that is the best mentality to have. She really sounds like a "she's not yours just your turn" kind of girl.

She will never any one guy's.

Next her.

Post: #35

Would you trust a former drug addict to stay clean if giant sacks of heroin were walking around the street and occasionally running daygame on them?

Post: #36

(01-23-2018 08:30 AM)Zelcorpion Wrote:  

(01-23-2018 05:45 AM)Phineas Wrote:  Thanks for the refreshing take Zelcorpian!
The CH article characterises the "game" take perfectly
Have you had experience with whispering?
Whispering is way too high maintenance for me

I had experiences in my Blue Pill Beta-ish days as a young guy - did not pass jack shit.

Later I never ever dated a slutty girl, so my Red Pill awareness and Game were not necessary - except to pair the shit-tests.

But I experienced and saw the difference in some friends who were busy taming hot sluts. It was actually funny for both of us, because both being Red Pill and Game aware we could laugh about many of the behavioral characteristics. She even shit-tested me as she does regularly with many men around. I banged her slutty friends, but had no interest in any relationship, because honestly it's too high-maintenance.

Alas - there are differences between party girls - some are redeemable or controllable, some certainly are not. And obviously you have to take into account that the relationship has a higher probability of falling apart. But I expect this even with good girls, since I am not faithful on my side ever anyway.

Thanks for sharing the experience. This is a refreshing alternative to the "NEXT!" mantra with these sorts of girls... the cost is being willing to put up with more drama and shit testing and run a constant theme of dread (In hindsight, I had been doing this: not something that I want to be doing day in day out long term)

Post: #37

(01-23-2018 10:24 AM)astro Wrote:  Since you brought up BPD (I have been with one), look in to "love bombing" and see if it applies. I was immediately drawing a correlation to your description and my past experiences.

She also wants to use you to get out of Japan. Their culture probably doesn't support the sort of wild chaos she thrives on.

The fact that you had a "cool off" period speaks volumes. You like the special attention she gives. It'll be the best when she thinks you're pulling away, but she will only adapt to dig her claws in deeper. In this sort of a relationship, she may trap you with a child as one of those hooks.

I would write her off as a close call and learn the signs to cut and run earlier. If you follow this path, however, be prepared to hold yourself accountable as you ignored your instincts.

Yeh mate, always hold myself accountable. Re: wanting to get out of Japan... I think you are spot on. Went with my instincts, I pulled the plug, rang her last night and did the official break up. The BPD traits came to the fore as outbursts of anger. When I suggested I might help her get to Australia as a friend the change in demeanour was telling (Not want you think; I was actually testing her motives here)... and disappointing: She was calm and we even left on positive terms. All kinds of messed up really.

Post: #38

(01-23-2018 08:19 AM)not_dead_yet Wrote:  

(01-23-2018 05:45 AM)Phineas Wrote:  Whispering is way too high maintenance for me

Agreed. But how about this variation?

No legal marriage. Fine with a religious ceremony. If she wants to have kids, you'll buy term life naming her as the beneficiary. Now run Dread Game on her as often as needed to keep her in line.

Does Australia have common law marriage? Probably worth running all this by an attorney.

This is an option that hadn't occurred to me. Good to consider. Not what I am after though.

Post: #39

(01-23-2018 10:29 AM)General Stalin Wrote:  The only way a long term relationship can work for you with a girl who has poor relationship sensibilities is if you simply don't care. If you are still banging other girls but just like having this hot piece of ass to go home to and have on your arm at parties then that is the best mentality to have. She really sounds like a "she's not yours just your turn" kind of girl.

Agree with the don't care. Since halting the LTR with her I've banged 4 girls (recruited 3x FBs and when out and met a new girl at a bar). Definitely helps. For me, nothing helps more than time and a new emotional connection though.

Not interested in just having a hot piece of ass... but yeh it is tempting.

Definitely a "my turn" girl. Funny how suckered in I was: She was always very convincing in making me feel uniquely attractive and special to her... (she would monologue about it ad nauseum). I found some past text messages of hers showing that I am just one of many she has either invited to Japan (to either visit or live) or was willing to move country for. Jeeeeezus. Bullet dodged.

Post: #40

(01-23-2018 12:21 PM)EndsExpect Wrote:  

(01-23-2018 06:24 AM)Phineas Wrote:  She's 31. Yep total bullshit answer. Her mother also has Asperger's – ie. emotional neglect.
Hey Ends, you made me realise where all this was heading and why I found her so exciting... got myself caught in the ol' BPD beartrap (didn't recognise it as she hasn't been angry with me but has a history of anger outbursts with her friends and past relationships). She certainly has abandonment issues - good call about "being fucked in the head"

So, she has BPD characteristics?

If I were in your situation... this is where I would get her into the kinkiest shit that turned me on. I'd straight bust out the whips and ball gags! I would push her limits in the bedroom and see if she likes it.

If she is really BPD then she will happily play along. Then just let the relationship play out. Eventually her crazyness will exert itself and you can dump her... until she is ready to come back for more. I'd play that game for at least a year or so... Imagine any kinky shit you have wanted to try, but never had the opportunity. If you play it right, BPD chicks are the kind that will actually bring other women to you for threesomes!

Yeh mate, I'd pushed the sexual boundaries with her whist we were together (didn't get quite to the S&M level, but plenty of domination and then some)... her total lack of hesitancy was yet another red flag. She's at that age where I'd feel bad about pumping and dumping; I know other guys don't care about this, but I knowing that she actually believes she wants to settle down, a pump and dump would mess her up even more. If we were both 5 years younger I wouldn't mind so much.

Post: #41

(01-23-2018 04:11 PM)[email protected] Wrote:  She looked you in the eyes and lied to you about cheating on her ex. That should give you your answer right there.

Usually with these Seeking advice posts, the OP usually writes a novel and 99% of it is male hamstring. I think it's hard to see the red flags when it's happening in our own real life. We can give advice and tell others what to do, but when it comes to our own lives....there is always that "Yeah, BUT...".

Just look at your situation from the outside looking in.

Your gut knows what you need to do. Listen to it.

Great observation [email protected] It has been pointed out in this thread that my judgement was clouded; agreed. Chatting to mates (hat tip, Dream Medicine!) and having some reality checks on this forum have been instrumentally useful. Pushing on after finding deal-breaking red flags revealed... yet more red flags. Lesson learned. Really good to hear from guys who have gone down the whispering route / dread game LTR also.

Post: #42

(01-23-2018 04:21 PM)Transsimian Wrote:  Red flags

Ha! I'm surprised General Stalin didn't post this one first...

Post: #43

(01-23-2018 09:05 PM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  Would you trust a former drug addict to stay clean if giant sacks of heroin were walking around the street and occasionally running daygame on them?

Haha, nice analogy Leonard. I also like "would you trust this girl enough to be your business partner"... although yours is just that more pellucid!

Post: #44

Nice! You must have an interesting future ahead of you now.
But have you thought about what criterias you will have for a possible LTR in the future?

I mean, you wrote "I have my check-list. I have my deal-breakers. I have a strategy.(...)" but it seemed kind of hard to believe that when I read your posts. So what are/were they?
The girl told you about 12 dudes she had already fucked (not having to mention all the other ones). As soon as that got to your knowledge (and as if everything else didn't tell you to leave her), I think that should have been the final straw at least.

I mean, how do you know you're not going to start to rationalize red flags to maybe yellow flags in the future?
I'm not really judging though, guess I'm kind of guilty of that myself.

Post: #45

No. And she's 31, going to hit the wall soon. Skip it.

Post: #46

1. Japanese women over 30 have MAD game.

2. Sex in Japan is not a big of a deal as it is in the west.

3. Japanese women in shitty relationships cheat. See above.

4. She cheated.

5. She lied.

6. She is afraid of starting again at zero month relationships.

7. She is invisible to Japanese men.

Walk bro, but perhaps not before getting the numbers of some of her young, more innocent girlfriends. If you like Japanese women, which if you want to settle down, is a great option.

Post: #47

I think the fact that you're in triple digits and you can't see the enormous STOP sign flashing in front of you is a testament to girls having exponentially better game than guys.

Girls are naturals at manipulating and deceiving men into getting anything they want. This girl in your story is a Grade A Thot who has a double digit cock count, cheated, lied to your face, I won't even mention all the other obvious red flags, and she almost had you inviting her to your country to wife her up and start homemaking. Masterful.

The subtlety of the tools they use is sinister. It can be something as small as a sweet look she gives you when she wakes up, a stroke of your chest when you're laying together, a cute little laugh - she's gaming you, she's doing all these small things that will pile up and make you fall in love with her. They do it almost on autopilot, it is natural to them, but they know exactly what is happening. And then the most obvious weapon - the pussy. Wild, enthusiastic sex will have a blue piller thinking about ring shopping in less than a month. I remember the first girl who pulled me out of her pussy, sucked the come out of my dick and swallowed. I was ready to wife her up almost instantly (she also turned out to be a psycho bitch trying to swindle me into marriage and kids; RVF helped me get that girl, and also saved me from her).

You spend enough time with women, and observe, I mean really observe what they are doing, and you will notice how far ahead they are, and how brilliant it all is. When a woman truly learns how to wield this power, she will be rich, probably famous, with a long line of men she's extracted it all from running behind her. Certainly a few celebrities or even women you know will come to mind.

In the end women are usually going to get what they want, the trick is finding one who wants all the right things.

As for the OP my recommendation is a soft next. Enjoy her while you have her, if you want to, but don't let your guard down again. I think your game is probably far above average, you just had a lapse of judgement which happens to us all. The game never ends gents.

Post: #48

(01-23-2018 10:46 PM)The Alpha Virgin Wrote:  Nice! You must have an interesting future ahead of you now.
But have you thought about what criterias you will have for a possible LTR in the future?

I mean, you wrote "I have my check-list. I have my deal-breakers. I have a strategy.(...)" but it seemed kind of hard to believe that when I read your posts. So what are/were they?
The girl told you about 12 dudes she had already fucked (not having to mention all the other ones). As soon as that got to your knowledge (and as if everything else didn't tell you to leave her), I think that should have been the final straw at least.

I mean, how do you know you're not going to start to rationalize red flags to maybe yellow flags in the future?
I'm not really judging though, guess I'm kind of guilty of that myself.

Hey alpha. You are spot on: There were early red flags but I ignored them. I will elaborate in a post-script reply. My red flag list will remain unchanged. I am happy to share them with you - feel free to PM me.

Post: #49

(01-24-2018 04:28 AM)Gas Wrote:  I think the fact that you're in triple digits and you can't see the enormous STOP sign flashing in front of you is a testament to girls having exponentially better game than guys.

Girls are naturals at manipulating and deceiving men into getting anything they want. This girl in your story is a Grade A Thot who has a double digit cock count, cheated, lied to your face, I won't even mention all the other obvious red flags, and she almost had you inviting her to your country to wife her up and start homemaking. Masterful.

The subtlety of the tools they use is sinister. It can be something as small as a sweet look she gives you when she wakes up, a stroke of your chest when you're laying together, a cute little laugh - she's gaming you, she's doing all these small things that will pile up and make you fall in love with her. They do it almost on autopilot, it is natural to them, but they know exactly what is happening. And then the most obvious weapon - the pussy. Wild, enthusiastic sex will have a blue piller thinking about ring shopping in less than a month. I remember the first girl who pulled me out of her pussy, sucked the come out of my dick and swallowed. I was ready to wife her up almost instantly (she also turned out to be a psycho bitch trying to swindle me into marriage and kids; RVF helped me get that girl, and also saved me from her).

You spend enough time with women, and observe, I mean really observe what they are doing, and you will notice how far ahead they are, and how brilliant it all is. When a woman truly learns how to wield this power, she will be rich, probably famous, with a long line of men she's extracted it all from running behind her. Certainly a few celebrities or even women you know will come to mind.

In the end women are usually going to get what they want, the trick is finding one who wants all the right things.

As for the OP my recommendation is a soft next. Enjoy her while you have her, if you want to, but don't let your guard down again. I think your game is probably far above average, you just had a lapse of judgement which happens to us all. The game never ends gents.

Thanks Gas. This girl definitely had game. She definitely knew how to flaunt her style to achieve her goals. I will include this in the postscript.

Post: #50

(01-24-2018 01:20 AM)Laner Wrote:  1. Japanese women over 30 have MAD game.

2. Sex in Japan is not a big of a deal as it is in the west.

3. Japanese women in shitty relationships cheat. See above.

That's interesting. This girl spoke good enough english for me not to really pay much attention to the cultural factors. Is there anything culturally specific you have observed that indicates a Japanese girl is more likely to cheat (apart from her age)? Anything different to girls from other parts of the world that is.