Post: #1

I stopped this girl on the street. She looked geeky-cute, we talked a little and took her number.
We set up a date and met at a small pub near my place. She seemed smiley and communicative, I did a little kino and threw in some sexual topics during the conversation (for example: she does sculpting so I said it is a sexy kind of art because it is primal and you get you get your hands dirty, and she agreed)

I felt there was a good vibe, so after about half an hour we had an eye gazing moment and I went for the kiss. She didn't want to and looked shy and confused. I shrugged it off, telling her I had to try, and continues the conversation. After we finished the beers we went for a walk in the "random" direction of my place. I gave her an excuse to come up and she did, I showed her some stuff we talked about at the bar, but quite soon she said she has to go. As she went to get her stuff I pulled her close and kissed her. She responded somewhat confused, it felt like a part of her wanted and a part of her did not.

Today I texted her I had fun and we should do it soon but she said that she enjoyed too but not interested doing it again.

Any ideas what I could have improved? Did I go for the kiss too soon?

Post: #2

I think it's gonna be hard to tell for anyone who wasn't there and can only hear you describe it. I usually kiss my dates relatively early in to the first date, like 20-30 min in, and have never had a kissed turned down on a date. Usually they smile and say shit like "wow, just like that?" and then they might tell me they've never been kissed that early.

But I guess it depends on the vibe. I usually start with cracking a few jokes and tease the girl and before you go in for the kiss you wanna establish sharp eye-contact and then stare at her lips. When you get experience you can pretty much tell when the girl wants you do to it too.

I think if the vibe was good enough and if she thought you were attractive enough, it wouldn't have mattered that you kissed her and got turned down.
If something, it shows high confidence and balls to go in for the kiss early on. Something high value males do.

Post: #3

Disagree, "high value males" know when to go in for the kill. Not saying it's wrong to do it in the middle of the date.

Not early, not late, but just at the right time.

That takes, body language, experience, and good game. You're absolutely right about the vibe, that's reading body language and how the girl is talking.

I'll tell you right now - I never makeout with a girl during the first date, only after the date (when I know I can't bang) or when she's in my bed. That's my style - I like to build up anticipation and keep her guessing.


I already see the problem here Horrid - you didn't build enough comfort and you scared the cat.

Let me give you an example, poker (poke her):

You have your hand, noone else can see it, why would you show your cards early to her ?

You need to keep her guessing your motives and your moves.


Half an hour is a small window to build that comfort, what you should've done is had 1 beer hungout for maybe an hour, then switched venues, 1 beer for another hour.

You did a good job of giving her a reason to come to your pad but here's the issue - you showed you hand already so she she already KNEW your intentions of wanting her to come over.

That's another reason why she left your place early, not enough comfort, and she knew your intentions.

If you didn't kiss her, did 2 venues, and invited her over she now has plausible deniability.

A little bit more comfort, showing her stuff you mentioned at the bar - things probably would've gone a bit differently.

You might gotten a makeout or who knows.

At this point she's a dead lead obviously.

Post: #4

(11-08-2017 02:58 PM)kaotic Wrote:  You have your hand, noone else can see it, why would you show your cards early to her?

You need to keep her guessing your motives and your moves.

I see your point on comfort, but if I'm not sexual with her early on, wouldn't it be likely she will consider me a beta who is afraid of making sexual advances? It's probably clear to her that I took her on a date because I am attracted to her.

Post: #5

(11-08-2017 03:57 PM)ilyoTheHorrid Wrote:  

(11-08-2017 02:58 PM)kaotic Wrote:  You have your hand, noone else can see it, why would you show your cards early to her?

You need to keep her guessing your motives and your moves.

I see your point on comfort, but if I'm not sexual with her early on, wouldn't it be likely she will consider me a beta who is afraid of making sexual advances? It's probably clear to her that I took her on a date because I am attracted to her.

Being sexual early on is a double edged sword - a) it depends on who you are like Michele pointed aka "high value male" and b) the type of girl she is (which means screening is needed)

Thing is she needs to comfortable with you in order for you to be sexual.

Sexual advances, is another double edged sword also because it shows your hand early, and if you aren't communicating it in a good a way - then you come off as looking thirsty.

So Meet up>Comfort game>Sexual game>Bang

If you fuck her mind, you'll fuck her body.

You did a cold approach off the street, got her number, set the plans, got her to come meet you, even got her to your place.

There's nothing Beta about that at all - get that out of your head.

Look at what you accomplished !


If she's on a date with you, she entertaining the idea of fucking you, it's your job to sell yourself well enough that she'll sleep with you.

Unfortunately you pushing the kissing turned her off and in turn she wrote you off.