Post: #1

I know this goes without saying up in here, but please don't feed these phucking trolls

Beware of ‘foodie call’ dates who are just in it for a free meal

When Olivia Balsinger first moved to New York after graduating college in 2014, she wanted to experience Manhattan “Sex and the City”-style. Like many millennials working in entry-level office gigs, however, she was limited by a shoestring budget.

“I was in a job that barely paid my rent,” Balsinger, now 24 and living in the East Village, tells The Post.

Going to nice restaurants was out of the question. “I barely had enough money to go to a nice grocery store,” she says.

Rather than scrape by on bargain rice and beans, Balsinger decided to seriously try a friend’s humorous suggestion: Meet guys on Tinder for the sole purpose of scoring free meals.

Soon, Balsinger was meeting men up to twice a week for nourishment-driven dates at pricey bars and restaurants, such as the Roof at Park South in Kips Bay.

“You want to enjoy the city, but you don’t really want to waste two hours of your paycheck on eating out,” she says. “So it’s pretty easy to kind of just say yes if someone’s offering to take you out.”

She recalls one evening when a 30-something European man squired her to celeb-studded seafood spot Catch in the Meatpacking District, where dishes such as truffle sashimi cost $29.

Balsinger admits she had zero attraction to her date. She chose him merely because he seemed successful and “lonely,” two factors suggesting he’d be happy to pay for her company.

“I can only imagine what the cost was — probably, like, a month of pay from my job,” she says of the five-course meal she savored that night.

When the bill came, she coyly fumbled for her clutch in a feigned attempt to pay for her half of the meal. As expected, her date swept in and took care of the tab.

It’s a good thing. “If I had been forced to pay, I probably wouldn’t have been able to eat for weeks afterward,” Balsinger says.

She and her date never saw each other again.

With the rise of dating apps, it’s never been easier to order up a foodie call. According to millennial survey app Winq, in a survey exclusive to The Post, 44 percent of young women have swiped right on a date “because why not; it’s a free meal” — even if they weren’t attracted to the person.

For singles stuck with the tab, the economic toll is considerable. On average, New Yorkers shell out $2,069 a year on dates, according to a 2016 Match survey.

Even celebrities have partaken in the practice.

Yvonne Orji, star of HBO’s “Insecure,” told the Los Angeles Times in July that she regularly dated for free food before getting her big break.

“I used to do foodie calls. I know it’s bad,” she told the paper. “A foodie call is when you’re not necessarily interested in the guy, but you’re also very interested in eating that night — and times are hard.”

She was quick to clarify that the transactions were one-sided.

“It’s very different from a booty call because it really just ends after dinner,” the actress said. Balsinger also follows this practice.

Singles like Andrea, a 35-year-old marketing coordinator and foodie call enthusiast, says her targets understand the deal.

“We both play this game — I act coy, and you woo me and spend money on me,” the Cobble Hill resident, who didn’t want to disclose her last name for professional reasons, tells The Post. “Women make 75 cents to a man’s dollar, and until the wage gap stabilizes, it’s more than fair game for guys to pay.”

Andrea says she goes on up to three foodie calls a week. Her favorite spots are Dream Hotel downtown, as well as Catch.

It’s not just single women going on subsidized dinner dates.

Alex Blynn, a 26-year-old publicist, has gone on dates with gentlemen who seem likely to handle the check.

“There are a lot of places to eat, but my budget doesn’t always allow me to try them,” says Blynn, who lives in Park Slope. “A great way to supplement [my budget] is to go on a first date even if I’m not personally feeling it.”

One man he met at a bar offered to take him to Porter House, an upscale steakhouse in Columbus Circle where a slab of New York strip can set diners back $60.

“It was very expensive,” Blynn says. “I’m glad I didn’t have to pay for it.”

Blynn’s cost-conscious dating habit has occasionally led to something more. In 2015, a guy he met at a club took him to Little Park, a tony restaurant that serves $25 trout inside the Smyth hotel in Tribeca. Blynn was smitten, and the two were together for almost a year.

Nevertheless, Balsinger, on firmer financial footing as a matchmaker at dating service Tawkify, says she now prefers lower-key dates — and genuinely offers to pay her share of the bill.

That’s not to say she regrets her former tactics.

“New York is its own ball game — there is an ‘impress’ factor that guys think they have to live up to,” Balsinger says. “They want to talk to a pretty girl. Girls are offering their time and conversation.”

For any singles worried about being used for a meal ticket, Balsinger says to suggest a low-cost date such as hanging out in Central Park — and observing how matches react.

“If [your match] says no to a simple activity, that’s a red flag,” she says. “Some of my best dates have involved a bottle of wine from Duane Reade.”

Post: #2

Don't do dinner dates in the first place, unless the dinner date is having them come over to your place while you cook and she helps with menial tasks.

Post: #3

Why would you ever take a first date out to dinner? That makes no sense.

Post: #4

Most of the best sex I've ever had involved take-out Thai food - afterwards. I have no problem spending $9 on drunken noodle knowing she's going to be ready for round two once she's had some carbs.

At least in my single days, logistically, my apartment being walkable to a bunch of cheap places like that worked out. The expensive neighborhood should be too much of a pain in the ass for her to spontaneously ask to go there.

Post: #5

I've been killing it lately by just inviting chicks over for dinner, drinks and to lounge by the pool.
I got one coming over today. I watch the weekly grocery ads and stock up on shit like steaks and lobster tails when they're on sale. They think I'm going all out but in actuality, I'm spending like $7

Post: #6

Women, using men, for free meals?

The hell you say!

Next you're going to tell me not to get married!

Post: #7

It’s “cool’ to brag about this now as a girl...it’s like the equilvalent of the guy bragging to his friends he nailed the hot chick.

It’s gone mainstream, but there’s always been chodes being chodes since the dawn of time.

Post: #8

SIMP's are gonna SIMP.

I had a girl get all butthurt on Tuesday thinking we were going to dinner.

Had a good laugh, because I told her that the last thing I want to do is point out food in her teeth.


I don't mind paying for a drink but this "foodie call" is a crock of shit.


Bitches have been using beta bucks forever.

Post: #9

(09-01-2017 11:36 AM)DimeBait Wrote:  She and her date never saw each other again.

I like how this is just glossed over. Oh, I'm sure he tried to contact her again. She probably ghosted him or blew him off with some "I don't think we're a match" crap.

I hope that truffle sashimi gave her diarrhea.

Post: #10

Quote:Nevertheless, Balsinger, on firmer financial footing as a matchmaker at dating service Tawkify, says she now prefers lower-key dates — and genuinely offers to pay her share of the bill.

In Paul Graham parlance that's called a Submarine.

AKA -- now we know which matchmaking dating service employs a PR firm to spin crap like this to get them mentioned.

"So we're going to do a story about foodie calls -- get those millennial clicks, hate-readers and all, and then at about 80% through the article, we'll name drop you."

"K" ::signs check::

Post: #11

What's hilarious about Yvonne Orji is that she's a virgin, and is saving herself for marriage.

Post: #12

(09-01-2017 11:36 AM)DimeBait Wrote:  Singles like Andrea, a 35-year-old marketing coordinator and foodie call enthusiast, says her targets understand the deal.

(09-01-2017 11:36 AM)DimeBait Wrote:  “We both play this game — I act coy, and you woo me and spend money on me,” the Cobble Hill resident, who didn’t want to disclose her last name for professional reasons, tells The Post. “Women make 75 cents to a man’s dollar, and until the wage gap stabilizes, it’s more than fair game for guys to pay.”

More than fair to pump and dump. Not even that will be an option for her, soon enough.

Post: #13

Only in NYC can a 35 year old still play that game.

Post: #14

"“Women make 75 cents to a man’s dollar, and until the wage gap stabilizes, it’s more than fair game for guys to pay.”"

heh

Post: #15

New graduate on Entry-Level salary lives in East Village and cries she is poor. She would have more money if she lived Jersey side or in Queens of course but this isn't part of her plan. Fun-cation in the city to burn through cash, carbs, and cocks.

On the meals, I really think dinner dates are odd and gross , last thing I want is a girl with smelly breath when I'm trying to make out with her. Drinks, are supposed to keep things light and not tight, make things more social.

I have no idea how "dinner dates" became a thing, must be some old school beta game from the 80s that has not died. Maybe "Big Food Lobby" created this stuff just like DeBeers made the same surrounding the diamond wedding ring.

I'll crush a meal with a girl I've fucked and I am comfy with, I'd feel better if it is at my crib as well. In all honesty only girls I actually date or LTR I will actually enjoy eating with as I enjoy them being around anyhow.

Post: #16

(09-01-2017 11:43 AM)Remington Wrote:  Don't do dinner dates in the first place, unless the dinner date is having them come over to your place while you cook and she helps with menial tasks.

I consider it a little offensive to woman to categorize blowjobs as menial tasks.

A quality pole-polishing requires skill, determination and commitment. Nothing menial about that.

Post: #17

I'm going to flip the script and say that a lot of the hate for taking a girl out for dinner on this forum is irrational and most of the various reasons people have to not do it are not really sincere and just a guise for "I'm broke but don't want to admit it".

It's not a foolproof plan but it's certainly not the sin of seduction that people here like to imagine.

Some advantages of dinner dates over other types of dates...

- You're going to eat anyway, right? Why not have some great food prepared for you with some good company.
- It feels like a "proper date" to the girl. She feels like she's been treated like a lady so won't feel like a slut going back to your place afterwards.
- The right amount of distractions. For the most part, it will just but you and her so plenty of opportunity to talk and get to know each other. However, gaps in the conversation and lulls are absolutely fine because you'll need some time to actually eat, look at the menu etc. Something like a coffee date can become too boring and the vibe will die if you're not careful but those lulls that would be fatal in a coffee date do not matter in a dinner date. Also you will get much more chance to get to know each other and flirt and become comfortable together than a date doing an activity or cinema.
- Comes to a natural close at about the right time that leaves you both wanting more. After you finish your meal, you will get the bill and then go. There's not really any excuse for hanging around any longer. If you got on well then you won't want to leave each other yet but will feel quite comfortable together so where can you go? Back to your place of course! Compare this to a drinks date which can go on forever by having a drink after drink (each of which doesn't really have a time limit like a meal) and before you know it, she's too tired or drunk and distracted or needs to be up early in the morning for work.

Post: #18

My first date "blueprints" are always the same. Meet at my place ideally. Tell her we're walking to the vibrant downtown area to have a drink. Have a drink at my favorite bar while also building a social group. I always end up forming a big group or running into other regulars. Get the girl a couple drinks, chat, socialize, whatever.

Bounce to another spot on the way back to my house. One more drink and a bit of intimacy. Back to my place for some fucking.

Dinner date? I don't give a bitch shit but hard dick and liquor

Post: #19

Quote:I'm going to flip the script and say that a lot of the hate for taking a girl out for dinner on this forum is irrational and most of the various reasons people have to not do it are not really sincere and just a guise for "I'm broke but don't want to admit it".

Even if that is the case, so what? Having the money to take the bitch out isn't even the point being made by critics of the strategy.

If I had a billion dollars, I still wouldn't take a girl out on a dinner date, at least as a first date.

Quote:Some advantages of dinner dates over other types of dates...

- You're going to eat anyway, right? Why not have some great food prepared for you with some good company.
- It feels like a "proper date" to the girl. She feels like she's been treated like a lady so won't feel like a slut going back to your place afterwards.

1. Good company? Why do you assume that's what they'll be? Just because she's nice to look at?

2. You're projecting; you have to make her feel like that slut who does get fucked on the first 'date'. If you don't somehow ping those nodes in her brain of wanting to be a whore that night, even discretely, you're not getting any pussy.

(ok you can talk about anti slut defense or some other bullshit, to which I would say something to the effect of " you want to make her feel like that slut, but also not". It's that dichotomy that they love)

Quote:- The right amount of distractions. For the most part, it will just but you and her so plenty of opportunity to talk and get to know each other. However, gaps in the conversation and lulls are absolutely fine because you'll need some time to actually eat, look at the menu etc. Something like a coffee date can become too boring and the vibe will die if you're not careful but those lulls that would be fatal in a coffee date do not matter in a dinner date. Also you will get much more chance to get to know each other and flirt and become comfortable together than a date doing an activity or cinema.

I feel like the lulls in the conversation that result in any dinner date are awkward, TO THEM more so than us, and therefore will have an impact on the outcome of the date. Especially FIRST dates. These bitches are more insecure than the average beta, when you really get down to it, so they are going to default to "omg this silence is so awkward" mode MUCH QUICKER than you, because they just can't stand to feel uncomfortable, even for a second.

Quote:- Comes to a natural close at about the right time that leaves you both wanting more. After you finish your meal, you will get the bill and then go. There's not really any excuse for hanging around any longer. If you got on well then you won't want to leave each other yet but will feel quite comfortable together so where can you go? Back to your place of course! Compare this to a drinks date which can go on forever by having a drink after drink (each of which doesn't really have a time limit like a meal) and before you know it, she's too tired or drunk and distracted or needs to be up early in the morning for work.

For the bolded part...no way man! If you're drinking heavily with a chick on the first date I say that alone is a good sign and gives you a much greater chance at pussy...which is the goal, right?

------

Basically, the executive summary is that when you offer to take a girl out to dinner as a first date, you are leading off with the wrong impression. You are first and foremost signaling your 'good guy' credentials which is the opposite of what gets you pussy.



Also, I simply don't like to break bread with people I don't trust. And there's no reason I trust a girl whom I've just met, and more importantly, haven't banged.

Post: #20

(09-02-2017 03:41 AM)the-dream Wrote:  I'm going to flip the script and say that a lot of the hate for taking a girl out for dinner on this forum is irrational and most of the various reasons people have to not do it are not really sincere and just a guise for "I'm broke but don't want to admit it".

It's not a foolproof plan but it's certainly not the sin of seduction that people here like to imagine.

Some advantages of dinner dates over other types of dates...

- You're going to eat anyway, right? Why not have some great food prepared for you with some good company.
- It feels like a "proper date" to the girl. She feels like she's been treated like a lady so won't feel like a slut going back to your place afterwards.
- The right amount of distractions. For the most part, it will just but you and her so plenty of opportunity to talk and get to know each other. However, gaps in the conversation and lulls are absolutely fine because you'll need some time to actually eat, look at the menu etc. Something like a coffee date can become too boring and the vibe will die if you're not careful but those lulls that would be fatal in a coffee date do not matter in a dinner date. Also you will get much more chance to get to know each other and flirt and become comfortable together than a date doing an activity or cinema.
- Comes to a natural close at about the right time that leaves you both wanting more. After you finish your meal, you will get the bill and then go. There's not really any excuse for hanging around any longer. If you got on well then you won't want to leave each other yet but will feel quite comfortable together so where can you go? Back to your place of course! Compare this to a drinks date which can go on forever by having a drink after drink (each of which doesn't really have a time limit like a meal) and before you know it, she's too tired or drunk and distracted or needs to be up early in the morning for work.

This is some of the stupidest shit I've ever seen. Dinner dates are for girlfriends and maybe long term fuck buddies, not girls you're just fuckin every now and then or girls you just met.

A dinner first date is just stupid, inefficient, and totally playing into the woman's hands. You think it's about money?!?!?!

LOL pimp card revoked nigga

Post: #21

Yes I was overglorifying dinner dates and some of my points are massively reaching and a bit silly... but the point that I'm trying to make is that posters here are overdemonzing them and their points are massively reaching and a bit silly too.

Post: #22

(09-02-2017 05:01 AM)the-dream Wrote:  Yes I was overglorifying dinner dates and some of my points are massively reaching and a bit silly... but the point that I'm trying to make is that posters here are overdemonzing them and their points are massively reaching and a bit silly too.

Like with everything game related you have to read the situation but acting like most of these are worth and deserve a dinner date is silly. Most all these chicks deserve is a cheap and fast meal before or after you fuck like the cheap and fast hoes they are.

Post: #23

(09-02-2017 05:01 AM)the-dream Wrote:  Yes I was overglorifying dinner dates and some of my points are massively reaching and a bit silly... but the point that I'm trying to make is that posters here are overdemonzing them and their points are massively reaching and a bit silly too.

You are living in SEA? Completely different ball game to NYC. Also a bit rich for you to imply guys are "broke" given this fact.

These days I even won't bring a girl out for a drink, if I can avoid it.

Post: #24

(09-02-2017 03:41 AM)the-dream Wrote:  You're going to eat anyway, right? Why not have some great food prepared for you with some good company.

We're eating. Good conversation happens over cocktails, while looking at museum exhibits, or between orgasms, not while chewing.

Even conventional non-RVF wisdom has long noted that this is precisely why "dinner and a movie" is the world's worst date idea. You're merely in each others' presence, not getting to know each other.

Quote:It feels like a "proper date" to the girl. She feels like she's been treated like a lady so won't feel like a slut going back to your place afterwards.

It's a one-off that takes up a good chunk of the evening. Taking her to two bars and a taco truck with maybe some window shopping on the way will read better for comfort-building purposes. This also provides numerous natural breakpoints if you need to bail.

Quote:The right amount of distractions. For the most part, it will just but you and her so plenty of opportunity to talk and get to know each other. However, gaps in the conversation and lulls are absolutely fine because you'll need some time to actually eat, look at the menu etc. Something like a coffee date can become too boring and the vibe will die if you're not careful but those lulls that would be fatal in a coffee date do not matter in a dinner date. Also you will get much more chance to get to know each other and flirt and become comfortable together than a date doing an activity or cinema.

You need to work on your conversation skills, then. I've had to train the LTR to wear something extremely low-cut when we go out to dinner just so I have something interesting to think about while we can't talk. It's her tits or the waitress's tits.

Quote:Comes to a natural close at about the right time that leaves you both wanting more. After you finish your meal, you will get the bill and then go. There's not really any excuse for hanging around any longer. If you got on well then you won't want to leave each other yet but will feel quite comfortable together so where can you go? Back to your place of course! Compare this to a drinks date which can go on forever by having a drink after drink (each of which doesn't really have a time limit like a meal) and before you know it, she's too tired or drunk and distracted or needs to be up early in the morning for work.

This shouldn't be an issue if you're maintaining frame and leading her. A drinks date can spiral out of control with you shelling out too much money and hher getting too drunk and her ASD warning her that she's a drunk slut and needs to bail, or it can go like this:

#1: You buy drink 1.

#2: She buys drink 2. If she has a problem with that, she's already failing compliance testing and is a waste of your time. Start over with the 6 you penciled in as a backup.

#3: You've been here for a while. If this is going well, it's time to suggest that the two of you check out a swanky lounge, and don't mention that it's walkable to your place. This is the place with dim lighting and extremely plush seating where you're going to escalate kino.

#4: You buy drink 3 and, if you're looking to make a major investment, an appetizer.

#5: Visit your place to play her some music, show her the view, let her try this great wine you opened before it goes bad, use your hot tub, turn off the stove, whatever.

#6: Blast on her face.

#7: What is it now, 11:30? She has to work in the morning and can't stick around for round 2, put her in an Uber home and text the 6. Tell her a work thing ran late and see if she wants to eat takeout and watch Netflix. Wash your dick first, or don't. Some women just get hornier when they suspect they're getting seconds.

Post: #25

(09-01-2017 12:18 PM)kaotic Wrote:  SIMP's are gonna SIMP.

I had a girl get all butthurt on Tuesday thinking we were going to dinner.

Had a good laugh, because I told her that the last thing I want to do is point out food in her teeth.


I don't mind paying for a drink but this "foodie call" is a crock of shit.


Bitches have been using beta bucks forever.

Same happen to me last week. A tinder chic came to meet me 1 block from my apartment (I live in the mid of the bar area in the city I am in). When we met, I told her I needed to get my jacket and she can join me for 1 Pisco sour freshly made by me before going to X Bar for drinks. She agreed. (¨Yeah, so cold in here, can't believe you are only wearing a t shirt¨)

We went upstairs, started preparing the drink and she said. So which restaurant are you taking me?

I laugh and said, we can order food here later after we have some drinks. I know this amazing Peruvian food delivery place....

She said, that she was really hungry. I gave her one of those airline peanuts you get in the lounge at the airport. She got super pissed off and told me to take her home.

I ask for an UBER but not before going for the kiss, which actually happened for 2 seconds after she nervously said she had a boyfriend and left. Jesus Christ

I am glad I put the UBER on cash only mode LOL.

NEVER DO DINNER DATES, ALWAYS EITHER DRINKS AT YOUR PLACE OR DRINKS AT BARS CLOSE TO YOUR PLACE. I DON´T EVEN DO COFFEE DATES ANYMORE.