Post: #1

Not looking to learn a pick-up (because i have speech disorder and i look unattractive), but this forum seems closest to the thematic of my problem.

Very desperate to get laid however i am in Los Angeles surrounded by millions of women every day but cannot do anything i feel my hopelessness and it scares me i will die lonely if i don't change that.

I am 33, have no social skills (lifetime in front of computer), have no idea how to even start a conversation with women or where to look for them.

Totally normal however i look like "serial killer" to most, people in school at first reacted to my looks same as people do now, but after they know me, they been my best friends (guy's) and were fascinated by my intelligence.

Meeting women on street is not the same - its all about looks and what you can say at the moment to get her attention, i suck at both.

Dating sites don't work either i never get reply's when i post my picture, I feel awkward in bars, prostitutes are expensive.

Where to find women and how can i find and approach women?

Tell you truth i don't care if she is mentally challenged or disabled in some way i just need to unload badly. Please help i feel more desperate every day!

Post: #2

(07-08-2017 01:07 AM)MrVon Wrote:  Not looking to learn a pick-up

Start looking to learn. Inner Game is the way.

Looking like a serial killer ain't necessarily that bad



But seriously you can improve your appearance, do more digging.

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Post: #3

Okay lets imagine i got built and bought a closet full of awesome expensive clothes, my confidence went up a big time, still i am at ground zero in trying to get laid, what do i do from then?

Post: #4

You're not going to die lonely first of all. If we can't get you laid in the states, you can at least get married to cute fillipina. They'll marry anyone.

As far as now, you need to start with your looks. It's hard for me to give you advice on what to do without knowing what you look like and what you need to fix.

As far as your speech disorder, it can be masqueraded behind very direct dance floor game where no talking is involved, just touch and kissing, but you're a long ways from that level at the moment..

Post: #5

Accept your lot and try to do something about it. Success is never guaranteed but what the fuck else are you going to do?

And if you have doubts about the efficacy of self-improvement, consider this Ukrainian girl who learned how to be a human after being convinced she was a dog for six years!





From a literal animal to a speaking woman, our malleability is incredible.

Post: #6

(07-08-2017 01:32 AM)LINUX Wrote:  You're not going to die lonely first of all. If we can't get you laid in the states, you can at least get married to cute fillipina. They'll marry anyone.

Yep for cash they would or to get in US, but this wont last long.

(07-08-2017 01:33 AM)QuietDog Wrote:  Accept your lot and try to do something about it. Success is never guaranteed but what the fuck else are you going to do?

And if you have doubts about the efficacy of self-improvement, consider this Ukrainian girl who learned how to be a human after being convinced she was a dog for six years!

...

From a literal animal to a speaking woman, our malleability is incredible.

Imagine a physical brain damage there's no way to fix it. i have it, aphasia.

Post: #7

(07-08-2017 02:08 AM)MrVon Wrote:  Imagine a physical brain damage there's no way to fix it. i have it, aphasia.

Have you tried making an instagram account and searching hashtags similar to #aphasia and reaching out to women who also suffer from your disorder? No one in this world has to be alone, there's always someone out there dealing with the same shit.

Post: #8

(07-08-2017 01:22 AM)MrVon Wrote:  Okay lets imagine i got built and bought a closet full of awesome expensive clothes, my confidence went up a big time, still i am at ground zero in trying to get laid, what do i do from then?

Expensive does not equal good. Buy clothes that FIT you. A cheap shirt that fits you will look leaps and bounds better than a designer shirt that is too baggy or tight. Trust me on this. Hit up a TJ Maxx or ebay. If you have some money you can get a cheap dress up shirt from Charles Tyrwhitt for 25-30 bucks your own custom size!

What do you do for a living?

Have you attended meetup.com groups? Find something that interests you and go, meet some people, make friends. This will help you develop your social skills. You cannot go from being reclusive to busting macks left and right, you gotta crawl before you run. Learn simple and neutral questions for girls such as "whatcha think about the weather?" or "what kind of music/food/drinks do you like?", like a baseline question.

LINUX is right about the filipinas. Some won't leave you after they get your green card. They might be dumb but they tend to stick around. Google around and you'll see pic of them next to an obese old fat guys using an O2 mask on the street.

There is probably a dating website for people with your condition or other conditions. Also, search Facebook Groups. There's 1.5 billion people on FB, someone probably has it too. I mean, there's a dating website for people with STDs so anything is possible out there.

Post: #9

I cannot speak for your situation, but I imagine you've gone though and may be experiencing some of the things I have. I had rhotacism, the inability to pronounce 'r' sounds, for the first 18 years of my life. I still struggle with it now, but it's not nearly as bad as before.

I didn't even think there was anything wrong with how I talked until middle school. Kids mocked how talked, I realized I couldn't even say my first or last name right (the real kicker is that my first, middle, and last names all had 'r's), and after I heard a recording of my voice I gave up entirely.

I completely stopped talking to people throughout middle school and high school. I felt embarrassed and ashamed of how I talked. There were so many regretful situations where I wished I had spoken up, but failed to do so because I didn't want people to hear how I talked. With no other outlet for myself, my computer became my best friend for the entirety of school.

I decided something needed to change after high school, so I sought out a speech therapist. I got a job as front desk assistant to force me to interact with people even if I felt like I really didn't want to. I've done a number of other things to help me along. I'm 22 right now, and I've made lots of progress but I still have challenges talking to people and other things.

(I realize this whole thing is getting lengthier than I originally planned, but bear with me.)

My point to all this rambling is that while you may feel like you're in a dark place right now, if you keep at it, you can definitely build a better future for yourself. I'm glad you came here to ask for help because it means you've realized you want to make some changes in your life, and you want to know how to go about it.

What type of aphasia do you have? I had a professor who taught a Speech Disorder class, and he had a severe stutter. However, he completely owned it with a genuinely positive and upbeat attitude. Depending on what aphasia you have, you'll have to find a way to make the most of it and accept it.

It's hard to gauge the full brunt of your situation, but I'm willing to wager there's a lot of background obstacles holding you back besides just getting laid. I think getting yourself properly socialized beyond the computer screen is really important.

I agree with Linux. I think you should look into finding an aphasia support group and even checking out CBT or some kind of therapy. Having a nonjudgmental place where you can be vulnerable and heal your inner turmoil and struggles helps a lot. Not to mention, it's almost guaranteed everyone in an aphasia support group has struggled with a lot of the things you have.

Post: #10

this may be a jump in the deep end, but try doing open-mic comedy.
I was at a gig last year and one of the other comics also had a speech problem (brain injury) as well as limited use of his arm.
He was actually funny, though, and the audience gave him time to finish. more than one joke was about his condition, too.
Remarkably, he'd managed to impregnate and marry a girl, and he had got a paid booking, neither of which I've managed yet.

In London, I've seen comics with moderate autism, lisps and stutters, so who knows? Obv, most of these aren't professional, but still.
And I don't know dick about this side of things, but there might be nootropics that have some positive effect. Do your own research, course.
If comedy is a bridge too far, try putting stuff on youtube.

Post: #11

(07-08-2017 02:30 AM)LINUX Wrote:  

(07-08-2017 02:08 AM)MrVon Wrote:  Imagine a physical brain damage there's no way to fix it. i have it, aphasia.

Have you tried making an instagram account and searching hashtags similar to #aphasia and reaching out to women who also suffer from your disorder? No one in this world has to be alone, there's always someone out there dealing with the same shit.

Social networks / dating sites are most frustrating because slow and chucks have like tens of hundreds people writing to them.

P.S. My condition is pretty rare and occurs mostly at 50+ years of age here's typical age group https://www.instagram.com/sayaphasia/?hl=en

Post: #12

Possibly relevant: The role of piracetam in the treatment of acute and chronic aphasia.
I really can't qualify thr 'possibly' part enough; don't start popping this on my recommendation, talk to a neurologist or similar.

Post: #13

(07-08-2017 02:45 AM)Cattle Rustler Wrote:  [quote='MrVon' pid='1607784' dateline='1499494922']
What do you do for a living?

Have you attended meetup.com groups? Find something that interests you and go, meet some people, make friends. This will help you develop your social skills. You cannot go from being reclusive to busting macks left and right, you gotta crawl before you run. Learn simple and neutral questions for girls such as "whatcha think about the weather?" or "what kind of music/food/drinks do you like?", like a baseline question.

Currently i drive Uber and have plenty of conversations there, my main occupation is PHP/MySQL programming for the web.

Guess my problem is being afraid of speak and approaching people, because i cannot recall doing it ever on my own and now when i need it i can't force myself and don't know how.

Post: #14

OP, it's dishonest to introduce new information/excuses for every piece of advice you get. Come clean with everything wrong with you up front or accept that it is irrelevant. Because it is ALL irrelevant. Sure you've got some brain disorder. Now what again makes you think you can't find a woman?

Because on this board, we've heard everything. And the one thing the excuse makers all have in common is they would rather make excuses than change. They're comfortable where they are. Complaining and feeling sorry for themselves.

Do you REALLY want a change in your life? Here is how you go about it.

First, take EVERY piece of advice you get on this thread, think about it deeply, and respond to the person who wrote it. You will keep this thread alive and get top notch advice as long as you stay active. Do not make any excuses for why you can't do it.

Next, read everything you can on RVF. just keep searching and reading.

How to talk to women? You talk like you do any other person. Stop putting them on a pedestal. They are people just like you. Talk to them about the same things you talk to anyone else about.

Your goal shouldn't be to figure out the trick to make a woman like you. Your goals should be to 1) always be bettering yourself and 2) find a woman who likes you for who you are.

In a city like LA, do you really think there isn't at least one oddball girl who will find you nice?

Post: #15

You don't wanna learn game, but the advice you're asking for can only be answered with game.

Also, what's so bad about dying alone. Just make sure you have lots of sex before that.

Here's the advice Mystery has for you.

Post: #16

Do you speak english fluently?

I started with 'how are you', 'hey what's your name' because I had an accent and the noisy environment made it worse. I used to get turned down after hearing 'what????'

Once they could understand this simple phrase, I had to work on the next one and the next one.

So what's your excuse again?

Post: #17

OP, what's your fitness level at? You said you have spent most of your life behind a computer so I'm curious if you're overweight.

It sounds like a lot of your hesitation to approach is because of your speech disability. And rightfully so. Several ways have been suggested in this thread to fix that and/or work around it until you find a solution.

Another thing that I would suggest is: GET IN THE GYM. You're 33, so you still have plenty of time to sculpt the body you want. It has been said countless of times on this board and other places that one of the first things a woman will notice is your body. She won't know anything about your speech, personality, lack of social skills, etc. All she will know is that your physical build gets her vag juices flowing. This is what you want, as it will slowly build your confidence as your work on the other aspects of yourself.

Do you think Lou Ferrigno let his disability get in the way of him (Hulk) smashing pussy? Fuck no. The women he fucked didn't give two shits either. Now, you're not Lou Ferrigno but the point is the hill may be a little steeper for you but the reward is still within reach.

It will take work and dedication. How bad do you want it?