Post: #51

J_Sway,

Your experience about being married in a foriegn country away from your family goes slightly against the grain of this thread -- i.e. taking your wife into your extended family as well as your own.

Since that is not possible in a foreign country far from yours, I'd like to hear more about your experience. For me, getting married and raising kids in the west is absolutely out of the question, save for extenuating circumstances. It is far more likely I would get married and raise my family in a foreign country (which one -- TBD). So I would like to research in advance how to make it work, and part of that is talking to other expats who has already been there before.

Post: #52

(07-06-2017 05:43 AM)oldbeliever Wrote:  I read your "engagement story" and it's inspiring.

You remind me of some Asian ethnic group in Russia, where the woman moves to the husband's family house after the marriage, they give her a new name and she belongs to the new family. I wonder how to find a woman that agrees to these terms in the western world, without her friends that tell her how she would be oppressed and abused. You live in Australia, how do you keep those people from influencing her? Which church do you attend with her if at all?

Women instinctively want to belong to a strong man who sets boundaries and rules, and is willing to enforce them. My wife is just open and vocal about wanting it. She was not so subtly hinting that she wanted my family name, and also wanted a Vietnamese name (I'm Viet). It was her own initiative to officially and legally change her middle name to this one.

As for protecting her from those people, it is a daily battle, but there are a few crucial advantages in our corner:

1: She follows my lead, and nobody else's. When my leadership is strong, she will never listen to others over me.

2: I already know every trick those people have in their book to try to sabotage us. I learn from the collective experience of all the men here and on similar sites. I actively teach my wife exactly what to expect from those people. Essentially I'm teaching her Game and The Red Pill daily (parts that are relevant to her).

3: One of the major rules I set for our life together is that we want only positive inspiring people in our life, people who are successful and supportive of us. Anyone who is negative, who attacks us in any way, direct or indirect, who does not support our goals or worse, gets in the way - those people are promptly removed from our life, and it doesn't matter if they're close family or friends for years.

From this rule, she's weeded out all negative friends and relatives whose presence in her life had never been positive, and made some new great friends who inspired her to be a better wife and (future) mother.

From the same rule, her old church and all the Churchians in it are gone from our life. We don't want losers who talk a lot about Christ but take no action to follow the Bible's teachings to lecture us how to live our life. We are still looking for one that's not yet compromised, but it's a hard find in our city.

Post: #53

(07-06-2017 10:12 AM)Jetset Wrote:  No offense

None taken, but in the light of your backpedaling on your usage of "severe", you might want to look up the meaning of flawless in the dictionary

Post: #54

(07-06-2017 06:03 PM)CleanSlate Wrote:  Your experience about being married in a foriegn country away from your family goes slightly against the grain of this thread -- i.e. taking your wife into your extended family as well as your own.

Follow up to this. What about guys going wife-hunting who don't have decent families of their own in their home countries and/or their families are not a point of support?

I would assume the answer is to stay in the wife's country, but open to hear other suggestions. Supportive in-laws can be great for help raising the kids.

Post: #55

Screening the parents is a big part of Indian culture. Things to look at are:

• Is their house clean? If they think it's OK to not keep their house clean when there are guests, then how is the house when nobody is visiting?
• Do the parents have good manners?
• Are the parents and daughter respectful to each other?
• Are the parents still married after all these years?
• Do the parents have good relationships with their own siblings?
• Are the grandparents (if still alive and living in the same country) treated respectfully by the parents? It's a disgrace in Indian culture to put your parents in a nursing home.
• Did they offer you food and drink when you met them?
• Is the mother fat?
• Does the father drink too much?
• Does the mother act disrespectful to the father?
• Do the parents ask their daughter to serve you when she comes to visit? This shows how humble the woman would be, instead of being raised to be a princess.
• Do the parents want you to move in with them (if you marry), or are they OK with their daughter moving in with you? Any woman who is not willing to move to be with you is not worth being with.
  

A couple of years ago Sikh told me that his brother went to meet an Indian girl for potential maaraige. Apparently the girl was cool, but the mother was a rude bitch to the father. He bailed.