Post: #26

No.

I used to when I was still more amateur in game, but I've completely removed it from my toolbox.

I would rather drop a girl than self-deprecate. You'll understand why when you progress further in game.

Post: #27

Serious question what do you guys consider self-depreciating humor? I've seen no hard concrete examples in this thread yet.

My take is never insult a self-perceived weakness about yourself (that you aware self aware) to others. Making fun of social situations and your faults is different, but interested to hear others takes.

Post: #28

I'm black and I use self-depricating humor, but it is a very slippery slope and I have to choose my targets very wisely. There are girls you do this with and girls you absolutely do not do this with--it all depends on the dynamic you have established. And I've found personal stories that are somewhat embarrassing have a much higher success rate than flat out digs at myself. The goal for me is to show that I don't take myself super seriously despite the air of confidence I give off.

Post: #29

Sure, all the time. It makes you more accessible if you might otherwise give the impression of being too aloof or intense, or generally intimidating. It works very well with both men and women. It's very helpful if there is an obvious disparity between you and the person you're talking to (social class, intelligence, etc). Making a joke at your expense, that acknowledges the difference that the other person will be acutely aware of (and uncomfortable with if the disparity is not in their favour), and which lightly sends you up, will make the other person much more at ease in your company and allow you to build a rapport.

The other day I was on a train with a burly chap who was a fan of one of my local football teams - he had the club badge tattooed prominently on his neck, and the initials on his knuckles. I was in a sports jacket, tie, horn rimmed glasses, and chinos, sat opposite him. I struck up conversation, and he was clearly uneasy (I also have a 'posh' accent). A little bit of conversation on the league followed, he warmed up very slightly, and he asked if I played football. I responded (smiling and obviously making fun of myself and acknowledging some of the things about me that would have been making him ill at ease), 'Good god, I can barely navigate a train carriage without tripping over my own feet, I'd be hopelessly out of place on a football field'. I'm a little over 6'1 and currently about 195lbs lean. He gave me a grin and said that no, I looked like I was an athlete. I dropped that I'd boxed a bit etc, and from there on it was feasts of reason and flow of soul.

By the time I got off the train, you could hear the milk of human kindness sloshing about in this chap, and we'd had a very warm and satisfying conversation.

Same principle applies with girls. If she looks intimidated, or over-awed by your magnificence, there's no better way to let her in than to be self deprecating. Equally, if you can pull it off it is a great way to display confidence. To identify a (relative) weakness and make fun of it whilst also carrying a tone that shows you're in no doubt of your fundamental high value can be a very effective way of making people warm to you. Noone wants their time in someone's company to serve as a constant reminder of their own inadequacy, or the paucity of their lot. Self-deprecating humour, done right, doesn't actually lower you in the eyes of your audience, it raises them in their own minds to your level, and they feel greater for your friendship and attention.

Post: #30

Right, but what you are really saying is, be high value, then self deprecate as a way to show high value modesty.

Post: #31

(06-16-2017 01:40 PM)debeguiled Wrote:  Right, but what you are really saying is, be high value, then self deprecate as a way to show high value modesty.

Nicely summarized. However, I would add that being high value is not an act it's more a state of being.

Post: #32

(06-15-2017 10:28 PM)dknightbro Wrote:  No.

I used to when I was still more amateur in game, but I've completely removed it from my toolbox.

I would rather drop a girl than self-deprecate. You'll understand why when you progress further in game.

Totally agree. I used to years ago but fucking blame that on TV and Western culture. When I would meet girls from Asia and Europe, they wouldn't get it because they're used to their men being strong men.

It's only Western women who get the humor, in my experience. With that being said, am I able to laugh at myself once in awhile, totally but I've already established a strong masculine frame RIGHT FROM THE START so that anything else i say later in relationship is always in the subconscious.

Post: #33

I think it's important to note that self depreciating humor often just plain doesn't work via text messages/etc.

I use self depreciating humor almost constantly with (american) girls, and Bacchus explained the type of situations I tend to use it in.

I've been guilty more than a few times of slipping up and thinking I can make a joke like this over text messages. An example is "I'm a virgin / I've never had a girlfriend before" in person, she gets it, over text it is likely to leave a nagging thought in her mind that you're some kind of weirdo. Humor in general is tough over texts (and a loosing game), but especially this kind.

Even when you think you are on the same page as a girl, it's very easy for something like this to be misconstrued.

Post: #34

I don't think self depreciating humor is self depreciating as long as you have the proper don't give a fuck mentality. I constantly joke about how I can't shop like a normal human when talking to girls.
Most of the times when I use it I use exaggerating facial expressions and body language to display that it "aint no thang" and that I don't really care what they think about said flaw. Im already making fun of her anyway so who really cares at the end of the day

Post: #35

It should be used ONLY to demonstrate that you are ZFG type of guy. I confine it to anecdotes which are amusing and where some people might have gotten upset with the situation but I just saw the funny / amusingly fucked up side of it enough to tell the tale with a smile.

This signals that you are easy going and comfortable in yourself; traits which play well with most women.

Post: #36

I use self deprecating humor with the agree-and-amplify application.

An example I get pretty frequently:

Girl in bar: "You seem kind of cocky, you meet a lot of girls like this?"

Me: "Girls? Ha! I wish. Girls don't like me. I'm ugly and I smell bad."

With a big shiteating smirk of course. They literally have nothing to say after this, every time. The only thing is you have to be ready to change topics immediately because it's so disarming.