(03-15-2017 06:28 PM)Moma Wrote:  Balance is important..I don't think a heavy lean in either direction is beneficial.

We'll just have to agree to disagree here, cause you're talking about balance and compromise vs going hard in one direction. In your view, it's either you're 100% game or 100% on your mission.

It's rare that either approach works out.

WIA

It's got to be holistic...to me going 100% and not compromising means you have the finances to sustain yourself
and your family and quality women/relationships that make you happy.

It's like basketball, a team has to work on multiple skills at the same time...you just can't focus on shooting or passing the ball
or just setting up positions alone...you've got to do it all to win the game.

I think that balance b.s. is false equivalence.

The path most men are on is wealth acquisition.
Through amassing resources, they can attract.

They attempt to amass wealth through employment. Not because they looked at the numbers and made a deliberate decision, but because they've been told by important people in their lives as well as the culture at large, and in many cases forced into it by the state.

They fail.
Millions fail
Billions fail.
Everywhere, all the time, chances are very high that anyone reading this is failing.

Decades in the money game and still failing.

This has always been a falling strategy for the vast majority. Educate, specialize, work for someone, then profit. Save your pennies, live below your means, invest...

Replacing your income in your golden years with a 401k drawdown is success? It's so easy how come more people haven't done it?

This idea is as foolish as eat less calories and do steady state cardio and you'll lose weight...because your body is a bomb calorimeter and operates on simple physics.

As opposed to understanding your body is a complicated biochemical system, it's merely a dumb engine.

These are well known strategies that everyone tries to do and the vast majority fail, they fail time and time again, and they fail hard.

That's why the game has always been important. It shows the average guy that all that bullshit he believed in about women was entirely false. That he was purposely lied to sometimes makes him mad, but the anger passes. Hedonism replaces stoicism.

That's why this whole idea of balance or of one or the other is bullshit.

Guys need to basically rethink what they're doing. They need to get out of this limiting belief system.

There is opportunity cost, but these are misunderstood by most, because of this pernicious idea of one or the other, of balance, of dividing your week like 40 hours to my job, 60 hours to sleep, 8 hours in the gym, 6 hours at the club, etc

That's how guys think - and then they wonder why they don't have what they want.

Gonna spend my youth in schools and work to make money later to get girls later

Gonna spend my time in the gym so that i can flex on chicks later

Always later, always in some roundabout fashion.

Just no. Say no to the bullshit.

WIA

Apollo is onto what I am saying. Balance doesn't mean denying anything. Archie, your naming of the extremes of those who pursue a 9-5 or employment and fail is not someone who sought balance.

What I do agree that game is holistic. Many things are holistic meaning that they should now become incorporated into one's way of being as a lifestyle. My idea of going 100 percent at game is to be always thinking about it (I am assuming we are talking about lays here), always trying to pull lizards, get SNL's, upgrade to the 8's, 9's, 10s of our locale where every major second of one's being involves trying to pull the lizard in. If that is not what you mean then I apologise.

If you are talking about always being aware of the Game and roping it into one's way of living, spitting at work, meetings, conferences, events WHILE pursuing some form of dream (let's assume it's some form of financial independence) then I totally agree.

To me, 100 percent game and commitment is travelling the world until one is 50 years old just to slay lizards, making just enough to get a bed under oneself, put food in one's mouth and some in the lizard and running through them, Kiev, Poland, Brasil, Colombia, Thailand etc. For one to make more than enough to put food in one's mouth then they have some sort of lucrative business or they are in such industry where the conquest of lizards also satiates their loins but substantially floods their coffers with loot. If the person is in that industry then I see nothing wrong and I still wouldn't see that as 100 percent game since they are in the ideal position where an ideal balance is struck. The truth is, not everyone wants to or is cut out to be in that sort of industry. If they are not, they still need to eat and they still need currency to move around and do different things. They still need to work or hustle. I am not saying that while they do that, they just cut off game but again, a balance has to be struck.

It's very similar to fitness, which one can say is an aspect of game especially if you start to sculpt your body by defining your muscles so that you pique lizards sexually just from a visual standpoint. I believe in the fitness piece as I have seen it work for myself but I don't subscribe to the mindset of one dedicating 100 percent to that element. In the instances, I mention, I still speak towards striking a balance. I

Archie what I want to ask you is this: Give me a clear example of what it is to pursue Game 100 percent and list the rewards and I will counter that by stating what happens if balance is not sought.

(03-16-2017 06:26 AM)Moma Wrote:  What I do agree that game is holistic. Many things are holistic meaning that they should now become incorporated into one's way of being as a lifestyle. My idea of going 100 percent at game is to be always thinking about it (I am assuming we are talking about lays here), always trying to pull lizards, get SNL's, upgrade to the 8's, 9's, 10s of our locale where every major second of one's being involves trying to pull the lizard in. If that is not what you mean then I apologise.

It's not at all what I mean.

(03-16-2017 06:26 AM)Moma Wrote:  If you are talking about always being aware of the Game and roping it into one's way of living, spitting at work, meetings, conferences, events WHILE pursuing some form of dream (let's assume it's some form of financial independence) then I totally agree.

That's also not what I mean.

Both of these flow into the same compromising narrative.

(03-16-2017 06:26 AM)Moma Wrote:  To me, 100 percent game and commitment is travelling the world until one is 50 years old just to slay lizards, making just enough to get a bed under oneself, put food in one's mouth and some in the lizard and running through them, Kiev, Poland, Brasil, Colombia, Thailand etc. For one to make more than enough to put food in one's mouth then they have some sort of lucrative business or they are in such industry where the conquest of lizards also satiates their loins but substantially floods their coffers with loot. If the person is in that industry then I see nothing wrong and I still wouldn't see that as 100 percent game since they are in the ideal position where an ideal balance is struck. The truth is, not everyone wants to or is cut out to be in that sort of industry. If they are not, they still need to eat and they still need currency to move around and do different things. They still need to work or hustle. I am not saying that while they do that, they just cut off game but again, a balance has to be struck.

Yeah, I'm not talking about some RVF fantasy land either.

(03-16-2017 06:26 AM)Moma Wrote:  It's very similar to fitness, which one can say is an aspect of game especially if you start to sculpt your body by defining your muscles so that you pique lizards sexually just from a visual standpoint. I believe in the fitness piece as I have seen it work for myself but I don't subscribe to the mindset of one dedicating 100 percent to that element. In the instances, I mention, I still speak towards striking a balance. I

Archie what I want to ask you is this: Give me a clear example of what it is to pursue Game 100 percent and list the rewards and I will counter that by stating what happens if balance is not sought.

I'm not even talking about pursuing game 100%, or doing it halfway, or doing it a little at a time.

I'm saying that is the wrong paradigm.

I can break down a "holistic" schedule of
- eating properly
- working out effectively
- training your eye for style
- incorporating approaches in your daily interactions
- using strategy to climb the corporate ladder
- judiciously using your time/multi-tasking your meeting of new sexy women

But that's not at all what I'm talking about.
To even go down that route would betray the spirit.

All of that game/life/work balance basically fits game into the framework of your daily.

This is bigger than that.

Most guys are thinking about how.

I'm thinking about why.

What is this thing that men are trying to achieve?
Why do they want that that thing?
Why are they going about it in a particular fashion?

Game is merely a tool here - but it's a tool that gets you to rethink what it is you want.

Most guys just use game to get the things they've been told to want
Things that have been marketed to them.

There are deeper questions here.

Going back to the original thought of men wasting their lives in pursuit of the "brass ring" - ideally that's what game can show you. That you are wasting your precious life, your time..

1) That the way you're going about life isn't working. Most people aren't meeting these goals in life that they set.

2) That the things that you're going after - it's not clear that getting the "thing" will get you what you actually desire.

Man is an animal, but not merely an animal.

I know a lot of dudes just want me to break down technique and give insight - but the very top of this pyramid is how you view life.
Like the jungle analogy

- one guy is just chopping trees
- his manager is telling him to sharpen his knife and how hard to chop and when to chop
- the leader look at the map and says "wrong jungle"

To get better at this game thing, one needs to lift their perspective.

Like I was intimating in the limits of cold approach - the limit is literally in the word -"cold". How do I make approaches WARM? That's where social circle, online game, and basically playing with ideas bigger than just looking good and having some good lines and comebacks.

That should make sense to guys. That they have more tools in the tool box, more things that they can try out.

But does it ever get them to THINK?

If man views life as one where things are separate and distinct entities but also can be incorporated into your life - that's basically a trap.

It's like the guy who memorizes all of the openers he reads online.
Maybe he can with practice, construct new openers, but does he ever get to the point where he understands the purpose of the opener and comes at the problem from a different angle?

-------------------------------------------------
100/0, 50/50, 60/40, 0/100

^That's how I interpret what these guys are saying.

"Here is how I allocate my time."

I'm not even saying 100/100 - like being a pimp or a strip club manager.

Even if I was saying such nonsense - we both know that such allocation is some bullshit. People try this stuff and fail, over and over again.

I'm saying that guys need to reevaluate their time and their goals and what they want.

I don't know what you guys want.

I do know that the mentality that divides the world into
- all game
- all money
- all working out and clothes
- 50/50 or
- game integrated into everything

is just the wrong paradigm entirely.

Guys struggle with not thinking like this because they need something else to replace it immediately, or they can't cope.

The follow up question to what I'm saying will always be

"What else is there?"

And dudes get frustrated because the answer doesn't come to them easy.

That's the point though.

They've been spoonfed and indoctrinated so thoroughly that they literally cannot imagine anything other than these reductive ideas.

So to recap

1) The idea of extreme or balance is wrong
2) How do you know it's wrong?
You look at the world and see that most people FAIL when they try either.

3) Fail how?
Whatever it is they're trying to achieve they aren't getting it.

4) So what conclusion should one draw from going to the extremes, being balanced, being holistic?

That it fails. Fails spectacularly and regularly.

5) Now what?

Rather than pursue something we know, WE KNOW, fails - we should then THINK about other ways to do it, but also about other goals and other values, etc.

We need to reexamine what it is that we're trying to do.

Where cats come into a post trying to shut it down - i'm trying to open it up.

I get lurkers inboxing me on the regular, agreeing with me, or asking for particular advice.

That's cool and all, I love the peeps.

But I'm trying to get folks to think differently.

WIA

For me, balance doesn't fail. It's the most practical approach to things and provides a safety net to things. I have seen the guys who have utilised balance and I like what they have accomplished. I don't get too caught up on terms and start to hang onto them doggedly without opening my mind to possible adjustments. I use terms as guidelines to modus operandi in life. My statements are based on moving around a little, seeing what's out there and moving towards the things I like.

Ultimately, this percentage or mindset can not be answered without asking specific questions to see where one would like to go, where one currently is and what they are doing in their current situation to get where they would like to be. For all we know, they may already be doing the right things. If they are in aligment with their dreams and their modus operandi is deemed as a balanced one, how can we call it a fail?

If success was widespread, you'd see it in the culture. You'd see it in the stats.

Individual reports of happiness and contentment camouflage the truth.

WIA

Maybe I am not speaking for the masses but for myself and the people I gravitate towards. I know many people that are happy and I don't study the stats. Happiness which is related to self perspective of success is also relative. Those who were once happy with perhaps a handful of lizards, fertile farmland, animals or machines to help till that land and grow stock or breed stock to sell for a living, became dissatisfied when the city person came around flashing excitement and promise.

The farm person decided to forego his current state of affairs and move to the city in pursuit of happiness or what he thought it was. After some years of doing the city thing, even though he conquered it and was king of the metropolitan jungle, the farm person felt unfulfilled. He gave up his throne and crown and went back to his farm.

I think that guy who travels around and tastes different things can decide for himself what works without looking at stats. A huge problem I see is that guys don't travel and have a very narrow outlook on things. Many times they will use inaccurate measuring tools such as dating apps or a few reports to report whether a location will work for them in regards to lizards and even style of ekeing out a living. A person who has moved around substantially at some point will be able to make a better decision. Even if they seem to lean more in one direction from an outsider's standpoint, internally, that is a balanced modus operandi because that person gathered enough life experience AND processed it correctly to make that personal choice.

@WIA: What are some other paradigms? Other cats have ideas...but we gotta pay rent, too!

@Moma: Agree that more cats should travel, should taste different flavors of life. Still gotta make it to Africa and SE Asia...

I'm glad I read this thread. I have a presentation in a few minutes, and i'm surprisingly calm

I think I know what WIA is getting at here. Balance fails because you honestly don't want to do something by setting time tables or setting goals based on perceived needs. To achieve success AND satisfaction you're going to have to want to do it.


If you're not doing something because you genuinely want too and because you enjoy doing it then you're falling into a destructive paradigm which explains the reason for the failure of modern men.

I've always noticed this, people are miserable because they truly don't want to be working at X place, or living in a situation less than they want, etc. They don't enjoy their own station in life because of all the propaganda being shoved in their face saying they need more.

On the other hand, I've personally mellowed out and need few things. The most outrageous expense and want being the pair of over ear headphones I purchased a few weeks back. Otherwise I'm firmly satisfied on good food, good tobacco, and good company.

My fitness is a problem and I should seriously consider buffing out, but I'm warming up to it and easing into a more regular gym investment because I'm slowly starting to enjoy venting my frustrations physically and the gym is the perfect place to do so.


It's all about my self interest at the end of the day and what makes me feel good. Therefore other than work my time table is extremely flexible and I do as I want. And make time even if it costs me sleep.

Maybe because I'm young this differs from the normal person and I'm able to do this, but I can't live any other way.

(03-16-2017 05:14 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  I think that balance b.s. is false equivalence.

The path most men are on is wealth acquisition.
Through amassing resources, they can attract.

They attempt to amass wealth through employment. Not because they looked at the numbers and made a deliberate decision, but because they've been told by important people in their lives as well as the culture at large, and in many cases forced into it by the state.

They fail.
Millions fail
Billions fail.
Everywhere, all the time, chances are very high that anyone reading this is failing.

That's why this whole idea of balance or of one or the other is bullshit.

Guys need to basically rethink what they're doing. They need to get out of this limiting belief system.

WIA

Archie, You can't game in heaven(As far as I know)...

You also can't beat the clock. As soon as you're born it starts winding down.
It's good to question the choices in your life and why you are doing it.
That's what made the Stoics like Marcus Aurelius famous.

However they also agreed that philosophy(stoicism) is meant
as a tool to make better decisions in one's life. And until the day Jesus comes back, a brother is going to have to sleep, eat, find a roof over his head
and occasionally find a few honeys that agree with him....

I disagree with your failure assessment though, wealth and status may a
preoccupation today...however it's also an ancient past time....even the
Romans chased after wealth and status...the main priority however has
always been the same, find food, shelter and raise the next generation.

As long as you're breathing, can find the means to sustain yourself and
can have children over the long run that's pretty successful...accumulating
wealth beyond that becomes a game...so even if you fail or succeed and
become a millionaire/billionaire as long as you get the essentials I'd call that
having a successful life.

Ultimately we're all on the clock...you can chop up your time however you
see fit. However practically you have to have a way to manage your time.

Even the Sun rises and sets on a schedule...

(03-14-2017 06:42 PM)kirdiesel Wrote:  

(03-14-2017 05:57 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:  ^Yeah I would say most girls are different at home compared to being away from home.

Keep trucking, you have the drive to make it work.

Just because the German guys get the girl, doesn't mean they can keep them.

We discussed your situation on our last show.

Good to hear my situation is noteworthy. I am in the trenches grinding out here.

I still hope one of you passing through or living in Germany come visit at some point but after my posts about life here I can understand why none of you don't haha.

Find me some cheap accommodation and I am there.

Only reason I haven't spent more time in Germany is because of the strong currency. I prefer the cheaper EE spots down below.

My partner in crime has been talking about Cologne for ages.

Could be a sign.

delete

balance is BS. I want it all

I'll give my insight for what it worth about "thinking differently" :
I'm employed for a mediocre income but since recently I start seeing guys who are under me, technically speaking, being self employed and selling scripts to editors, on the side, for (huge) extra cash...
I start understanding why and how some guys keep going out after work, drinking shots and banging interns (with their wife consent) while others keep going back home, right after shutting down their pc, to listen to and not even fuck some angry wife...
Guys going to some crowded gym taking 1h to make 8x5 bench press due to the amount of people waiting while some other got themselves some good physique without even lifting dumbells and never spending more than 2h training...

All this kept bothering me because I've suspected something was wrong but never even see those things from my pov and as a caribbean born and raise in Paris, family kept telling "You can't see how wrong you are..." but not giving me even a cue...

I can relate, for real now, to the "biilions fails" part but didn't think about how deep this goes...

(03-16-2017 10:20 AM)rudebwoy Wrote:  

(03-14-2017 06:42 PM)kirdiesel Wrote:  

(03-14-2017 05:57 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:  ^Yeah I would say most girls are different at home compared to being away from home.

Keep trucking, you have the drive to make it work.

Just because the German guys get the girl, doesn't mean they can keep them.

We discussed your situation on our last show.

Good to hear my situation is noteworthy. I am in the trenches grinding out here.

I still hope one of you passing through or living in Germany come visit at some point but after my posts about life here I can understand why none of you don't haha.

Find me some cheap accommodation and I am there.

Only reason I haven't spent more time in Germany is because of the strong currency. I prefer the cheaper EE spots down below.

My partner in crime has been talking about Cologne for ages.

Could be a sign.

What is "cheap"? I could look some up some Airbnb and sort out perfect logistics for you.

Its not expensive to party or eat here. I am able to game for UNDER 50€ per night..

I recently went through some health "scare", for the first time in my life I thought about death.

While I waited for those results in that month or so, I thought about what I would do if the answer to the tests were not favourable. I thought about places I have not been yet, I didn't think about money/career and all those other things we strive for. I didn't even think about women, I thought about what I would LOVE to be doing instead of what I do on a regular basis.

The results came back negative, I am 100% healthy and I reacted like I won the lottery.

I had a friend pass away recently, he was living in Dubai making serious cash, driving a Porsche (his 3rd) and living in a beach side condo. He had a dark side, he loved to smoke the "Charlie" (coke) in large quantities when he was back home in the UK. I told him more than once to take it easy with that stuff. He died last month at age 33, what a complete waste of a life.

I have another friend who had a job offer recently in Europe. The company sent him a LearJet to fly him there, so you can imagine what kind of job this is and what it pays. This friend is also very miserable and thinks money is the only thing that matters. He doesn't spend a bad penny and won't spend money on things that I would. He hasn't a girlfriend in several years.

Both examples are to highlight that chasing money and career isn't the only thing in life.

We are here for a limited time, no one knows exactly how long.

I am not sure what balance is but I know working 9 to 5 and commuting gives me little time to find balance. If the gig is stressful it makes it even worse, you never really seem to turn off.

I had a friend from overseas call me yesterday to invite me to some festival in St Maarten, of course I couldn't make it on such short notice. I laughed and asked him how much vacay he gets, as it was his second holiday for the year. The first being a trip to Africa. I am starting to think I need to move to where he is living and change my career goals.

Disclaimer - I am not taking sides on the debate, I am not sure I know what the question is. LOL

So true. I make decent coin, but never had a real vacation and haven't been outside North America! I'm desperately seeking to get my priorities aligned with the essence of my overall well being.

(03-15-2017 06:20 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  What they don't have are the memories of having a girl take you back to her place and finding out she lives with strippers.

Did they go to Rio during Carnival?
Blow their savings on a crazy idea?

They played it safe and lost, lost big.

WIA

This struck a chord with me, I always wanted to go to Brazil from the time I was a wee lad. It seemed like a magical place, the women, the sun, the beaches, the music. I must have played the girl from Ipanema song a thousand times when I was younger.

My friends were lame when it came to travelling, I kept reading the BS about don't go by yourself as it is dangerous. I played it safe and have mild regrets for not taking the plunge.
Sure I could go now, but today is a different age.

Society programs us to do well in School, go to University, get a good job, buy a place, find that wife and have children. Today that program seems to have a massive virus.

@Dimebait - travel homie, leave North America.

delete

(03-16-2017 01:47 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:  The results came back negative, I am 100% healthy and I reacted like I won the lottery.

Also, glad to hear everything checked out with your health brother!

(03-16-2017 02:01 PM)DimeBait Wrote:  

(03-16-2017 01:47 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:  The results came back negative, I am 100% healthy and I reacted like I won the lottery.

Also, glad to hear everything checked out with your health brother!

Thanks DB, it was the same thing we were talking about in the over 40s thread.

Folks be dropping fierce these days, I can't stress enough to live YOUR life to the fullest.

Okay, that's enough preaching from this old timer for one day.

Kirdiesel,

Not sure what kind of music you listen to but Mos Def is passing through Cologne on April 9th. I'll be catching his concert here in Amsterdam on the 3rd. His new vibe (Yasiin Bey) is not really my thing but he was one of my favorite rappers (Black Star is a timeless classic) so I have to see him at least once in concert.


As for the game/life/work debate, I have historically leaned more towards Moma's perspective of maintaining balance but I do see WIA's point. Especially as he brings up the importance of asking ourselves what we want out of life and why do we want to achieve that. Maybe we are pointlessly beating our heads against the wall as there might not be a definite answer that is universally applicable for all men.

It's crazy how black people are treated as less in America. After everything we have gave and sacrificed. Shit really the world.

The articles and the comments being posted makes me feel sad.

@Top Shelf

What are you talking about?

WIA