Post: #1851

Hendrix, Congrats dude, that's an awesome accomplishment. I had a lot of work buddies who were a significantly older than me who worked out of NYC and didn't drink. I asked why finally and a lot talked about how their old coworkers either drank themselves out of a job, or out of life entirely

Post: #1852

**Warning: Soppy bollocks post below**

Four months in to my second year on the wagon I feel now is a good time to gather my thoughts and let the good men of RVF's drinking wagon know where I stand.

As alluded to in my last post I completed the 1-year wagon on 28th Sept 2016. What I failed to mention was that on a stopover in Melbourne to see some childhood friends on my route to NZ for a year, I (with my friends) had a bit of an MDMA binge. Now I have taken the drug before but always in conjunction with alcohol; in fact, I'd never taken any drug sober. Fuck me. The empathy, compassion, and oneness I felt for my fellow human was like nothing I'd ever experienced before. I realised how much shitty behaviour (particularly my own) was the product of insecurity. Though the following days were quite rough mentally as my serotonin levels returned to normality, the days turned into weeks and I noticed some minor, but growing changes in my mental state.

Like a previous poster, I too had a 'depressive streak' in me. For whatever reason, I had spent much of my life past the age of 10 vaguely 'pissed off', grumpy, and even bitter without ever really understanding, or caring to understand why. This 'unhappiness' has been a huge positive for me in many respects - once I finished university I set of travelling and working across the globe to, what I thought, would 'fix me'. While I've had a raucous good time at stages, one thing I've learnt is that I can travel all over the world, as far away from 'home' as one can go, I will still have to deal with one constant; myself.

While I was a man of the bottle I found night game quite 'easy. I didn't struggle to bang 6s regularly, and to borrow a quote from DT "while I'm no Brad Pitt, under favourable lighting conditions, a drunk girl might decide she would have sex with me". To be frank, while I was aware of daygame, I made a decent enough living in bars that I didn't think I 'needed' it. 5 months into the wagon I spent a month in Mexico City and pulled (she pulled me) a chick who I banged for the month. I thought "this sober game isn't so bad". (One of my greatest fears of giving up the booze was the ensuing loss of pussy). Buoyed by this 'success' I spent the next 6 months kind of strolling through life expecting pussy to fall into my lap. How wrong was I.

So, for the four months following the MDMA everything was quite rosy; I was enjoying my life, even if I had no passion for my finance job, my general outlook was good. Early January, disaster struck. Or at least what felt like disaster - for about a week straight I had daily bouts of two hours of what I can only describe as intense depression, to the point where my head actually hurt. As I wallowed in it I actually thought "this could be me for life". I flirted with the idea of going to see a shrink, but self-critical is my nature, and I knew that "anyone who goes to see a psychiatrist needs to have their head examined". I also thought about trying some LSD to see if that would help.

I self-diagnosed the problem as loneliness and decided what I needed was female attention. I'd often thought online dating was the last-chance saloon so never used it, but here I was, in the last-chance saloon (and I couldn't even fucking drink!). Okcupid depressed me further, and after one nothing date I though "this isn't going to do". Like I said, I'd never tried daygame before but was privy to its existence. I dusted down Roosh's 'Day Bang' and went looking for the nuggets. At the time, I was also reading Tom Robbins 'Jitterbug Perfume' and came across this quote, which hit me like a metric tonne of bricks:

"Reality is subjective, and there’s an unenlightened tendency in this culture to regard something as ‘important’ only if ‘tis sober and severe. Sure, and still you’re right about your Cheerful Dum, only they’re not so much happy as lobotomized. But your Gloomy Smart are just as ridiculous. When you’re unhappy, you get to pay a lot of attention to yourself. And you get to take yourself oh so very seriously. Your truly happy people, which is to say, your people who truly like themselves, they don’t think about themselves very much. Your unhappy person resents it when you try to cheer him up, because that means he has to stop dwellin’ on himself and start payin’ attention to the universe. Unhappiness is the ultimate form o’ self-indulgence.”

I had spent my whole adult life thinking happiness was for stupid people. After all Hemingway said "happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know". This was gospel to me, and confirmed my existing narrative. I was a total misanthrope. Robbins quote made me face my 'demons' - like Gandolf and the Balrog on the Bridge of Khazad-dum. Shockingly, when I got down there and the veil fell I saw that there were no demons. The emperor had no clothes. The demons were narcissistic fabrications by my (mind) ego so that I could always see myself as some type of quasi-tortured-genius who was capable of so much but would never achieve it because he had 'issues'. What a steaming pile of shit. Drinking alcohol made me more introspective, made me indulge this fantasy even further. Was I addicted to alcohol? Who knows. Who fucking cares. I was definitely addicted to myself.

As TLOZ mentioned in a previous post the whole 'underlying conditions' mantra is for the most part total horseshit. I suspect this may resonate with a lot of hard drinkers, and long-time drugs users - often the user isn't addicted to the substance, he's addicted to himself.

Now I can't believe how happy I've become. I have quite my nonsense finance job and am training to be a barista. Though I very much in the beginners’ stage of daygame, I secured my first number today from a cute Colombian, and probably have quite a few local girls wondering where the nearest pets hop actually is I now go to the supermarket at peak time because I know it's the best time to ask hot babes for their muesli recommendations.

Most of all I feel full of energy, every day I go to bed excited about the day to come, the range of possibilities before me. I'm in better shape than ever and feel for once that I 'understand' life, which is to say I don't understand it at all. But I've embraced this. And as Alan Watts said, all the energy I was expending on my ego and on self-defence has become available as I've realised that "I don't have to let go. . . . . because there's nothing to hold on to"

Thanks again TLOZ and all you other guys.

Post: #1853

I told myself on New Year's Eve this year that I would not have a drop of alcohol this year, just to try it out.

So far, only strayed once - was out with a friend on February 1, he ordered a pitcher of beer and kept bitching at me to drink some and help him out. After telling him no for the better part of an hour, I poured half of a cup and nursed it while we played pool. (It didn't matter much, as I chased it with plenty of club soda and O'Doul's, but I think I could have just kept saying no.)

So far, I've noticed that - without night game in my life - it isn't all that bad being alone in my own apartment when I have little to do. I have to get creative when talking to girls now, and can't just invite them out for a beer as a reflex. When summer rolls around, though, that's when I'm going to be in some uncomfortable social situations.

Post: #1854

3extra,

That was an interesting post and I have a few things to say about it, some of which you and perhaps others may find surprising. They are at a level of abstraction that I usually don't go into in this thread, but I feel these things strongly, and so I would be remiss if I did not express them.

The single best thing about your post is its simple statement of the fact that you are still on the wagon after a year and four months. That is what one might call the controlling fact of the situation, and it's a great fact for any man who truly needs the wagon; it's the one fact that matters more than any other. As long as you are a man in need of a wagon who is on that wagon and continues to be on it, you are on a fundamentally correct path, a path that saves you from the death in life of being a drunk. Stay on that wagon for as long as it's necessary -- which is always longer than one might think -- and you are good to go for most if not all intents and purposes. There is little more that needs to be said about this but the basic reality of the situation is what must be acknowledged first and foremost, with a nod as brief as it is grave.

Now I would like to address some of the other things you write about in your post. You speak of "letting go of the self" in a context in which I might be expected to embrace it. Indeed, don't I always talk -- in this thread and others -- about the depredations of psychology, and how a man is apt to lose the world of objective reality and all its endless interest, variety, and comedy if he dwells too much on the rapidly exhausted and vacuous vagaries of his own self? Shouldn't the avowed realization of the futility of battling imagined "inner demons" and "underlying conditions" and the decision to simply let go of all that be music to my ears? Isn't that what I'm always preaching in one form or another?

Well, yes but not quite. Or to be more precise, I should say: yes, but not at all like that. The "letting go" of certain Eastern religions -- or more so their modern proselytizers like this Alan Watts character whose fruity voice on video seems to be everywhere all of a sudden -- is not the same as the "letting life come to you" that I often talk about in this thread; indeed it is in an almost sinister sense its exact opposite. Let me explain.

As I have written about elsewhere on the forum, the most fundamental belief of almost all intelligent men of this time (and for a very long time already) is what I call nihilism: the idea that the world is objectively "meaningless" and that this "meaninglessness" is known to be true all the way down the line. Almost all moves on the chessboard of thought that have occurred in the past century can be understood as reactions to this idea -- even, and in fact particularly, those that seem to reject it. The harrowed, frantic quest for "meaning" that is the hallmark of so many contemporary quasi-religious ideologies is nothing more than an expression of the absolute certainty of "meaninglessness" all the way down the line.

The characteristic moves of the the Eastern religions -- as interpreted by their western proselytizers like Watts and others -- are no different. They too feel that there is an "emptiness" and a "meaninglessness" at the center of everything but they make the particular move of affecting to embrace this perceived emptiness as a "letting go". It is, indeed, a move of great sleaze; they talk about letting go of the self or of "desire" or "control" but what they really mean is letting go of life itself because, after all, we all know that there is nothing there. That is precisely what Watts is saying at the end of that video; that is what is meant by there being "nothing to hold on to".

What seems like an experience of profundity and liberation turns out to be, in fact, an illicit embrace of oblivion felt as sweetness -- something very similar in kind to the oblivion offered by certain drugs; it is unsurprising to see these two things go hand in hand, and unsurprising to me that you mention drugs in a pointed way in your post as things that have also played a role in your process of "letting go".

A man who loves drinking and drunkenness is often a man drawn to the savagery of oblivion (although the forms offered by alcohol and some of the other and emptier drugs are quite different from each other). It is easy to persuade oneself that one's "letting go" is a turn away from the self and towards "life"; and it's true that in some ways almost any relaxation and relinquishment has great rewards -- for a time -- for the brain that hungers for it; and the happiness that follows it can be genuine and can put one momentarily in league with life. However, like almost all rewards of ultimately illicit origin this one carries a price and that price can become very steep over time.

The price, for example, can be this: a man who affects "letting go" in a way that seems like a revelation of life but is, in fact, an abdication can, by degrees, find himself on the path to becoming a loser. There is a seductive ease to giving up that "boring finance job" and training to be a barista instead; isn't that what "letting go" is all about? And the result is that some years later one is no longer young, and has not achieved financial security; and not only that.

The bad joke is that by "letting go" in this way one has missed some of life's deepest and subtlest opportunities, the opportunities that come from modesty, patience and effort practiced over long periods of time. One has missed one of the few things in life that can be properly called mystical: the way that a man and his supposedly dull and "soul-crushing" work grow sweet together through the earnest daily application of directed effort, how the sustained detailed attention to objective reality makes a man better and shapes him, like the weather, by infinitely slow degrees into something that is far more in league with life -- with the world as it really is -- than can be given by any cheap and passing ecstasies that come from relinquishing these humble efforts.

The idea that I have of "letting life come to you" is that one gives in to life as it is, to life as a daily and seemingly dry and unglamorous effort of which the wagon itself is such a fitting avatar and companion. There is indeed a "giving in" involved, but it could not be more different than the giving in of the would-be mysticism that is at its heart an abdication of life and a turning towards oblivion. The subtle rewards that I speak about are just that -- subtle; they are not experienced as a wave of happiness or ecstasy, but as the slow accumulation of sweetness, gratitude, and comedy that come to a man who has brought himself in league with life by virtue of modest daily attention to its incessant demands, coupled with an almost glancing appreciation of its sidelong, seemingly accidental but in fact indelible and profound beauties. It is not something that happens in a day or in a month but it amply and luxuriously fulfills the most underappreciated of all sayings, that patience is its own reward.

I hope you find these thoughts to be of some use.

Post: #1855

Damn. Now there's some food for thought.

Insightful as ever TLOZ. Lots to ponder from that.

Post: #1856

Checking in at just over 500 days on the wagon - officially the longest I've ever been sober. Overall I feel good, but there are moments when I sense that I'm pushing through "the long, punishing lengths of time" that the wagon requires. Throughout much of this time, I have been letting my life slow down as a result of sobriety, rather than shoehorning sobriety into my life. The latter was how I approached the wagon back in 2013/2014. I kept the same late hours, hung out with the same people, went to the same places. I tried to prove to myself that I could live the exact same life - just without booze. Continuing that lifestyle started to feel more like a chore and made me uncomfortable. It was a shit approach. This time around, I'm enjoying what a life devoid of all the nonsense of hard drinking has given me. Regular sleep. Early hours. Motivation for fitness and work and relationships. A remarkable consistency to get up everyday and handle my shit with a clear head and sound (if rather pasty) body.

That being said, I was in Las Vegas a few months ago for a conference (one of several annual trips I make to the desert for work). My boss is a sweet guy with four kids, so these work-related getaways are practically a vacation for him. As such, he treats us to a lot of clubbing and dinners and bottle service and blackjack. By the end of the week, I was so burned out on the scene. I genuinely enjoy Vegas, and accept it for the soulless adult Disneyland it is. But I can only correct coworkers' blackjack basic strategy so many times (I play impeccably). I can only drink so much club soda, poured by a lazy bottle girl with conspicuous bolt-ons. I can only hear the first 90 seconds "Black Beatles" so many goddamn times. By the final night, I was getting manic. I needed relief. I needed to tune out. When I got back to my hotel, I popped open the door of the minibar and stared at a 40 ml bottle of Grey Goose for a good 10 minutes. I listened to the fridge thermostat click on and off, and finally said aloud "Jesus Christ man, you don't have to this. You don't have to do any of this." I closed the fridge, and packed up my shit to head home. That whole week was just another extended period of trying to prove that I can party and stay out and be fun while staying sober. But who was I trying to prove this to? Myself? My coworkers? Who cares. I'll be in Vegas again in March, and if I'm not feeling up for bottle service at Hyde 4 nights in a row, I'm just going to punt. It's that simple.

In all fairness, that was just a small stumble. Overall, things have been so much better that sometimes I lose sight of what life was like before I put down the sauce. For now, I'm going to re-read the TLOZ entry above. Lots of good stuff in there.

Post: #1857

10 years for me today, and extending for year number 11.

Post: #1858

Congrats man. That's a big milestone.

Post: #1859

Good morning.

Checking in at 1 year and 5 days.

I mentioned before that when I took my decision to stop drinking, I knew it would be permanent. I had had enough of the lost time, the feeling like shit, stuff going wrong in my life.

That time I was sat in Barcelona airport, hungover, feeling like death and decided to quit there and then. I'd spent the weekend watching my mates in a stag weekend causing chaos, making fools of themselves, wasting time, money and their Heath.

It was enough. I'd partied pretty hard from when I started drinking around 15/16 years old to 39. I was tired of it all.

Looking back, I'd dipped my toes in the water a couple of times. I came to lurk at this thread about 2 years ago, I did a 6 week detox of sorts in Autumn 2015 and noticed the benefits then but I wasn't ready.

I read Alan carr's book, that was interesting but it still didn't feel quite right. I guess the moment has to come to you that you decide enough is enough.

When I look back at the stuff I used to do when I was drinking, I'm amazed that I am still alive. From a habit of drink driving, falling asleep in the car with the engine running while drunk, intervening in or starting fights in bars, walking home so drunk in sub zero conditions, falling over bashing my head and being unconscious, full of drugs and alcohol in some very dodgy places in Ibiza etc etc. The list goes on and on and on.

Probably in hindsight, it may have cost me my marriage but there were other reasons for that. I am glad that I'm in a calmer place now.

With the extra time I gain from not being hungover, being able to spring out of bed early in the morning and get stuff done, I have achieved much in my first wagon year.

I have a daughter
I got married to my girl
I started two new business
I finished my qualifications in the Swiss national ski system that means I have the right of establishment of a ski school here in the country that I'm loving more and more
I bought a house high in a hillside over looking some iconic mountains
I'm better at what I do. In every respect.


And I feel like I'm only really just getting going. The time you save by not being in the drinking matrix allows you to be so much more productive.

A lot of society, especially up here in the mountains, is built around bars and alcohol. At first it was very difficult to go to bars because people would give me shit about not drinking all the time. That has passed now, they accept what I'm doing.

When you sober up, you see the matrix for what it is, you see that people are masking the emptiness or the pain in their lives with alcohol. Humans are essentially social beings though so you have to play in the matrix a bit but I don't spend nearly as much time there now as I did.

Finally, and this is important for those lurking or considering a wagon , you can still get exactly the same buzz, that warm fuzzy feeling as getting drunk, from a good night out with friends, a meal or something. The alcohol isn't necessary. I was out last night with two friends for a pizza and I haven't laughed so hard for ages, no one was drinking. The laughter and fun of being with good friends is all you need,

ALL ALCOHOL DOES IS MAKE BORING PEOPLE SEMI INTERESTING.


Sign me up for another year LOZ.

in addition a to the wagon this year, I need to get more control of my diet as the alcohol has been replaced by a craving for average quality food and sugary stuff but that will come. Ski season is difficult to eat well.

I also intend to covert the garage in my new house to a gym and be more regular in there too.

SP

Post: #1860

Ski pro, congrats on the 1 year; you made a great decision at the right time and now you are reaping all the benefits. +1 rep point from me.

It's a pleasure to welcome you back on board for year 2 as of February 10, 2017, and I look forward to hearing more from you here as time goes on.

Post: #1861

I am writing this to hold myself accountable for giving up the booze. I currently have 0 motivation, chronic depression and am in constant people judging or pleasing mode

i need to do this or i am going to hit rock bottom if I’m not already at it.

i need to be mindful of how much better i feel by Wednesday and ensure i know the feelings i get from alcohol will return if i go back.

Cutting down does not work as even a few makes me sluggish and time after time a few on a Thursday turns into drinking for the whole weekend and spending a full Sunday sucidal.

Have been reading this thread for quiet a while and decided that its probably the best place to join.

Congratulations to everyone killing it.

Post: #1862

Hey everyone. I didn't think I'd ever find myself on this thread, but here I am.

The short version: I didn't drink for several years, but I started up again last year. I've been drinking heavily two, sometimes three nights a week for 8 months or so now.

I need to stop - It's been fucking with my work, relationships, and life. And I don't think my body can't tolerate this anymore at age 38. I often feel awful physically and I'm getting mad out-of-shape.

I cut back on it this month and noticed some withdrawal effects; insomnia, anxiety. It's clear to me that I thought I could control myself, but I cannot.

I've been reading the thread and I think I'm also ready to get on board. I've gotta, but I admit that I'm afraid of what life will be like. I loved rolling out solo, having a couple drinks and doing my best to run some approaches in the city on the weekends - I only got lucky a couple times but I always enjoyed it. I don't think I'll be able to keep that up when I stop. And then I'm just an aging bachelor man, in a house, and except for the couple of nights a week I go to hang out with my girl ~20 miles away, sitting here way out in the suburbs. I think the alcohol is...was my cruch for dealing with the necessity of being here (family obligations) in a place that I finally don't really want to be. And when I stop I know the urge to leave will become overwhelming.

Post: #1863

(02-26-2017 12:16 PM)XPQ22 Wrote:  I've been reading the thread and I think I'm also ready to get on board. I've gotta, but I admit that I'm afraid of what life will be like. I loved rolling out solo, having a couple drinks and doing my best to run some approaches in the city on the weekends - I only got lucky a couple times but I always enjoyed it. I don't think I'll be able to keep that up when I stop. And then I'm just an aging bachelor man, in a house, and except for the couple of nights a week I go to hang out with my girl ~20 miles away, sitting here way out in the suburbs. I think the alcohol is...was my cruch for dealing with the necessity of being here (family obligations) in a place that I finally don't really want to be. And when I stop I know the urge to leave will become overwhelming.

XPQ22, the fact that at a mere 38 you unselfconsciously refer to yourself as "aging" is all the proof you need that you should get on that 1 year wagon, and now.

You are only "aging" because the hard drinking is aging you. Rather than be afraid of what life will be like, stop destroying your body and brain with alcohol, start sleeping well (get a light box -- it will rout your insomnia and depression/anxiety if used correctly and consistently), get in shape, and you will realize just how young you really are and just how sweet life can be when you're waking up every morning feeling strong, refreshed, and ready for the day.

And for every once-in-a-blue-moon bar floozy that you will miss having unmemorable drunk sex with, you will find a sweet daytime bitch and will relish fucking the shit out of her, stone cold sober, hungry, and as hard as you were at 23.

You owe this to yourself, and you will not regret it. Make a real commitment and see it through.

Post: #1864

I was just thinking about how different my mind frame is now that I am about 1.5 years on the wagon. When I was drinking but desperate to quit, I would have read Lizards 10 year post and been almost demoralized. How can one envision staying sober for ten years? I would want that RIGHT NOW! Then drink a week later because ten whole years was just too much for me to comprehend and I would get overwhelmed with self doubt.

Now I just see it as an interesting milestone -- time has passed and life went on for the Lizard, he just happened to make a decision to let it unfold without the booze. I can't even predict tomorrow most of the time -- why get all wrapped up about something so foreign as ten years in the future?

As the wagon rolls on, I have found that I go through different emotional stages. There was the early high of putting some months together, the grind of months 6-9 or so when time just seemed to stand still, then a year passed, then six more months... right now, I am grateful to have come to the realization that patience is truly a skill that must be developed. I used to be all about immediate gratification, but now I've really embraced the fact that if something is worth having, it takes time to build. Some people just have that innate realization -- look at all the guys who have lifted for a decade plus to build a good physique. I never really embraced that fact of life until I quit drinking to be quite honest...

To this point, it's safe to say that the biggest benefit of hopping on the wagon is that now I understand that in order for something great to happen, putting in a little bit every day and staying patient is one of the greatest virtues a guy can develop. I know that it seems silly to have to point that fact of life out, but I never really *understood* it until now... there are no shortcuts!

Post: #1865

(02-26-2017 09:40 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  You owe this to yourself, and you will not regret it. Make a real commitment and see it through.

So yesterday was March 1st. I've had nothing since last Friday - the longest stretch in nearly a year - and I'm doing okay.

It seems easier to break it into smaller pieces. I'm going to check back in around April 1 with an honest report on how it's gone so far.

But that's just a mental checkpoint; my intent is to keep it rolling however it's been. I'm considering myself "all in" for a year as of March 1st.

It's taking me a really long time to hit "post reply." What did all that drinking ever get me? Hit it. Hit it!

Post: #1866

(03-02-2017 10:02 AM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

(02-26-2017 09:40 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  You owe this to yourself, and you will not regret it. Make a real commitment and see it through.

So yesterday was March 1st. I've had nothing since last Friday - the longest stretch in nearly a year - and I'm doing okay.

It seems easier to break it into smaller pieces. I'm going to check back in around April 1 with an honest report on how it's gone so far.

But that's just a mental checkpoint; my intent is to keep it rolling however it's been. I'm considering myself "all in" for a year as of March 1st.

It's taking me a really long time to hit "post reply." What did all that drinking ever get me? Hit it. Hit it!

Stay strong. You're getting close to the window where your brain will start bargaining with you to abandon the wagon because it is missing the toxins. Things like... oh, maybe I'll just keep it to the weekends, or I can probably just cap myself at 2 drinks per day...

Post: #1867

(03-02-2017 06:36 PM)DTD309 Wrote:  Stay strong. You're getting close to the window where your brain will start bargaining with you to abandon the wagon because it is missing the toxins. Things like... oh, maybe I'll just keep it to the weekends, or I can probably just cap myself at 2 drinks per day...

Yeah, I figure the first couple weekends are going to be the hardest - I know I have to avoid any places where alcohol is served entirely, at least to start, because I've been definitely been having some cravings and I know I'll slip.

I usually spend one weekend evening at my girl's place though and she's not a drinker so that will help. I'm fortunate that none of my crew in general are big into it; I was honestly the "bad" one so I have less to worry about from a social-pressure angle.

Post: #1868

I read this thread when it started, but didn't check it since then. I've been sober since August 18 of last year, so I'm hoping to make it at least a year if not more.

Post: #1869

(03-02-2017 10:02 AM)XPQ22 Wrote:  But that's just a mental checkpoint; my intent is to keep it rolling however it's been. I'm considering myself "all in" for a year as of March 1st.

XPQ22, just to be clear -- are you in for a 1 year wagon as of March 1, 2017?

Post: #1870

Well, this post was a long time coming. First posted like 2 years ago, and read it over and over as nothing changed. But no rock bottom injuries or law problems. Rather just disappointed friends. Already told my 4 best friends, and sat my parents down in the living room for a conversations. I said "I need to talk to you guys" and they're on board for a sober year with no offers. They think its a great idea. They thought I was going to say they were getting a grandchild. So 1 year. Mar 6.

Post: #1871

(03-05-2017 09:15 PM)Seadog Wrote:  Well, this post was a long time coming. First posted like 2 years ago, and read it over and over as nothing changed. But no rock bottom injuries or law problems. Rather just disappointed friends. Already told my 4 best friends, and sat my parents down in the living room for a conversations. I said "I need to talk to you guys" and they're on board for a sober year with no offers. They think its a great idea. They thought I was going to say they were getting a grandchild. So 1 year. Mar 6.

Seadog, that's great to hear.

You are making the right decision, and I like the way you went about it. You made a commitment to your family and friends -- and here, of course -- and now your pride is staked on seeing it through. It will be a difficult year for you at times but a great one when it's all said and done. You'll just need to be patient and stick to your guns no matter what happens. That's the only way.

Welcome aboard as of March 6, 2017 and I look forward to hearing more from you here as time goes on.

Post: #1872

Hi guys, I'm in for 12 months no drinking challenge as of today, 12th March 2017!

Its come at the right time. Writing this, I feel a bit scared. As if, I'm losing something brilliant, even though I know I am not. I have reflected a lot on it, and I know stopping for a defined period of time is going to be a brilliant thing for me.

I quit my corporate job a few weeks ago. I am actually going abroad to teach English in SE Asia for a 12 month period or so, although I don't leave until September.

So in the meantime, I have a few part time jobs lined up, whilst I am studying for my TEFL qualification. I'm entering a period of change, adventure and personal/professional growth and I think marking this period as a time where I stop drinking alcohol to help my growth over the coming year is going to be a brilliant idea.

I'm excited and a little nervous about doing this! But hell, the time has come. I've lurked and occasionally posted on this thread for ages, but the time is right. I'm looking forward to the challenge itself, and I'm curious to see my body and brain will change. In my adult life, I think the most I have gone without alcohol is one month. This is going to be an incredible game changer I am sure!

Looking forward to this guys and I will be checking in to let you all know how its going, and best of luck to everyone else currently on their year or starting around now.

Lets do this!

Post: #1873

(03-12-2017 10:46 AM)Georges89 Wrote:  Hi guys, I'm in for 12 months no drinking challenge as of today, 12th March 2017!

Its come at the right time. Writing this, I feel a bit scared. As if, I'm losing something brilliant, even though I know I am not. I have reflected a lot on it, and I know stopping for a defined period of time is going to be a brilliant thing for me.

I quit my corporate job a few weeks ago. I am actually going abroad to teach English in SE Asia for a 12 month period or so, although I don't leave until September.

So in the meantime, I have a few part time jobs lined up, whilst I am studying for my TEFL qualification. I'm entering a period of change, adventure and personal/professional growth and I think marking this period as a time where I stop drinking alcohol to help my growth over the coming year is going to be a brilliant idea.

I'm excited and a little nervous about doing this! But hell, the time has come. I've lurked and occasionally posted on this thread for ages, but the time is right. I'm looking forward to the challenge itself, and I'm curious to see my body and brain will change. In my adult life, I think the most I have gone without alcohol is one month. This is going to be an incredible game changer I am sure!

Looking forward to this guys and I will be checking in to let you all know how its going, and best of luck to everyone else currently on their year or starting around now.

Lets do this!

Georges89, that's a great decision. I know you've followed this thread for a while and I'm happy to see you posting here having made this commitment.

Please don't be nervous; rather, relax into the wagon and think of this as something you are doing for the long haul -- it will take many days and weeks and some months and seasons to add up to that year. Do not expect anything in particular, any "game changers" from one day to the next -- rather, be patient and trust that both the obvious and the subtle benefits of the wagon will come to you over time if you just let them. All you need to do is to follow through on your decision, and it's a simple enough task since no one is going to force that drink down your throat. Just do that and let the rest take care of itself.

Welcome aboard as of March 12, 2017 and I hope to hear more from you here over time.

Post: #1874

(03-12-2017 11:10 AM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  

(03-12-2017 10:46 AM)Georges89 Wrote:  Hi guys, I'm in for 12 months no drinking challenge as of today, 12th March 2017!

Its come at the right time. Writing this, I feel a bit scared. As if, I'm losing something brilliant, even though I know I am not. I have reflected a lot on it, and I know stopping for a defined period of time is going to be a brilliant thing for me.

I quit my corporate job a few weeks ago. I am actually going abroad to teach English in SE Asia for a 12 month period or so, although I don't leave until September.

So in the meantime, I have a few part time jobs lined up, whilst I am studying for my TEFL qualification. I'm entering a period of change, adventure and personal/professional growth and I think marking this period as a time where I stop drinking alcohol to help my growth over the coming year is going to be a brilliant idea.

I'm excited and a little nervous about doing this! But hell, the time has come. I've lurked and occasionally posted on this thread for ages, but the time is right. I'm looking forward to the challenge itself, and I'm curious to see my body and brain will change. In my adult life, I think the most I have gone without alcohol is one month. This is going to be an incredible game changer I am sure!

Looking forward to this guys and I will be checking in to let you all know how its going, and best of luck to everyone else currently on their year or starting around now.

Lets do this!

Georges89, that's a great decision. I know you've followed this thread for a while and I'm happy to see you posting here having made this commitment.

Please don't be nervous; rather, relax into the wagon and think of this as something you are doing for the long haul -- it will take many days and weeks and some months and seasons to add up to that year. Do not expect anything in particular, any "game changers" from one day to the next -- rather, be patient and trust that both the obvious and the subtle benefits of the wagon will come to you over time if you just let them. All you need to do is to follow through on your decision, and it's a simple enough task since no one is going to force that drink down your throat. Just do that and let the rest take care of itself.

Welcome aboard as of March 12, 2017 and I hope to hear more from you here over time.

Hi Lizard,

thanks for your words of wisdom and for welcoming me onboard. Congrats on your 10th year.

I like what you said about 'relaxing' into it, that definitely resonates.

Truly, it is now a simple enough task especially given I am no longer working in an environment where there is peer pressure to drink.

Looking forward to touching base on here soon.

Post: #1875

I'm just checking in, things are going ok for me but not great. Or not the way I would like.

I'm in the middle of a child custody situation that is really frustrating. I know I'll likely have to end up paying 25% of my gross income each month to the Laotian peasant that is my twin daughters mother.

I remember a friend's comment when I first heard that I was going to be a father and not just to one child but twin girls.

After telling him and without skipping a beat he said "You should name them Karma and Irony".

It's so true.

I get them one day a week and while I don't think I have a moral obligation to care for them, I see my face in them, and I love them.

I sometimes wish I'd never met them. They are very sweet, so sweet that it sometimes brings a tear to my eye. Watching them play with other children, watching one be so shy she has her head down and her hands together in front of her, feeling left out but too shy to join in. The other running around girlishly oblivious to her sister but then running over to hug her and then other children hug her too and I think "My God, how can I just leave them to turn into a nasty little monster like their mother"?

The truth is I want this shit to be over. I just want to minimize the damage to my finances as much as possible, leave and do what the fuck I want without being stuck in godforsaken Las Vegas.

I love them, but I can't help but feel like the one or two days a week I have them is making a bit of fucking difference. Their mom has dyed her hair blonde, and has a tattoo of a bird on her shoulder.

She's shit out another kid by a beta provider who she treats like a resented servant.

The job I have is not what I thought it would be, I see zero chance to turn it into a location independent venture.

It's not terrible, my boss is cool. The people I work with are cool.

The problem is Las Vegas.

Unless you are encountering girls in "the industry" all you see are disgusting ghetto trash.

I haven't seen a decent looking white girl sans all the bullshit (tats, extensions, etc etc) since I arrived here.

I'm dating a Filipina who's gorgeous and loyal, and who takes care of my daughters and loves them, but I'm tired of just her.

I feel anxious, cooped up, and stressed.

Last week I walked into my boss's office and said I'd like to put in my resignation. He talked me into finishing out the month and then reevaluating the decision. I said "ok but I need to leave and will be back Monday".

I bought a ticket to Santo Domingo for later that night and was upgraded to 1st all the way through.

Which brings me to the relevance of this post on this thread.

I said, "I'm going to get drunk". It was in a detached way but once I said it I felt real fear about going back once I realized it was a possibility.

I collected three 10 year old Glenlivet whiskeys, two Woodford Reserve bourbons, one Tito's Vodka, and one Sapphire Gin (that blue gin).

I knew I wouldn't drink them of course but I knew I COULD drink them.

My intent was to just give them to the girls I'm seeing (none have wanted any so far) so they are in my bag here at the hotel.

Really, nothing is so bad as what I went through the last 3 years, a few on the forum know that I was falsely accused of sexual assault roughly 3 years ago and I had a trial and everything last year (I'll write a post eventually, so much to go into) where I was found not guilty.

Compared to that, this stuff is peanuts regarding stress, but regarding the regret I may have with my children it is far greater.

I intend to quit this job, and start work with a massive medical marijuana company. I feel the opportunity is too great to pass up to join a burgeoning industry in a company that's well positioned.

It will also not be location independent, but I think I'll at least enjoy what I'm doing instead of putting up with drudgery day in and out.

Anyway, 3 years coming up in may of no drinking. Posting here I guess was a way to sort my thoughts a bit. Thanks for listening.

edit - congrats LOZ for your 10th year.