Post: #151

(02-15-2016 07:23 AM)Ringo Wrote:  Good thread.

Broke up with girlfriend of 3+ years (with a few gaps in between) yesterday.

Great girl, clean break. It just wasn't working out for us anymore.

Signing in here to make myself accountable - been sucked back into a relationship more than once before.

Time to remove the rust and get back on the game.

I've been thinking a lot about this girl recently.

Every time I run into her at some social gathering, she comes on to me strong.

She has this innocent vibe that I miss a lot and always look for in other girls.

Today my good buddy at work tells me he matched her on Tinder.



A timely wake up call.

Post: #152

(01-30-2017 09:33 AM)Ringo Wrote:  

(02-15-2016 07:23 AM)Ringo Wrote:  Good thread.

Broke up with girlfriend of 3+ years (with a few gaps in between) yesterday.

Great girl, clean break. It just wasn't working out for us anymore.

Signing in here to make myself accountable - been sucked back into a relationship more than once before.

Time to remove the rust and get back on the game.

I've been thinking a lot about this girl recently.

Every time I run into her at some social gathering, she comes on to me strong.

She has this innocent vibe that I miss a lot and always look for in other girls.

Today my good buddy at work tells me he matched her on Tinder.



A timely wake up call.

Yup. It's called fading affect bias. The good stuff lingers in your mind, the bad dissolves into the ether. And you don't want to think what dirty stuff she's been up to since you've broken up.

But we shouldn't be too hard on ourselves - we're only humans, after all, not emotionless machines. There's never perfect information available so you can't tell if getting back necessarily would make it worse. Personal experience and circumstantial evidence points for the worse long-term, though.

Post: #153

A good thing to think about to prevent contact is to remember how in the end usually the relationship devolves to the point where all you're doing is negotiating with the other person over changes one or both of you want to make for things to work. Unless there is a genuine epiphany or game-changer that has taken place, those irreconcilable differences will still be there. (And I mean genuine, not just a case of, let's say, a woman attempting to monkey-branch back.) Plus, those negotiations are simply NOT fun, sexy, or romantic. Starting a new relationship tabula rasa is so much more appealing than trying to mentally compartmentalize past conflict with an ex in order to try again.

Post: #154

(01-30-2017 09:45 AM)ksbms Wrote:  Yup. It's called fading affect bias. The good stuff lingers in your mind, the bad dissolves into the ether. And you don't want to think what dirty stuff she's been up to since you've broken up.

But we shouldn't be too hard on ourselves - we're only humans, after all, not emotionless machines. There's never perfect information available so you can't tell if getting back necessarily would make it worse. Personal experience and circumstantial evidence points for the worse long-term, though.

What screws with my head is: while my gut tells me to consider getting back with her, I really believe jariel's rule for ex's exists for a reason. As I said, I've been sucked back into a relationship before.

So, what do you do?

Follow the gut, at the overwhelming risk of being disappointed and digging an even deeper hole from which you'll have to get out of?

Or do you follow a personal rule, created for a reason, at the cost of having your instincts constantly nag you?

I've no plan on breaking and going back but the above is often on my mind.

Post: #155

(08-03-2016 12:42 AM)DrCotard Wrote:  

(07-09-2016 11:15 AM)DrCotard Wrote:  

(06-03-2016 12:40 PM)DrCotard Wrote:  Starting this year, I soft-nexted a girl who friendzoned me years ago. Well, she friendzoned me because I was a guy who behaved like a beta bitch without game and she lost interest when I didn't push for the bang.

Surprisingly, she's writing me e-mails asking me "When are we going to see each other?". I don't know whether to respond her e-mails with a dick pic (not of my junk obviously) or don't write her at all.

Update: she made me a call yesterday and I didn't answer the phone. Feels good to avoid contact with a girl like her.

Update 2: she finally understood that I nexted her. It's quite liberating to know that I definitely got rid of a girl who wasn't worth the hassle. Anabasis, if you're reading this thread, I want to congratulate you for this thread.

Update 3: Actually, she keeps pestering me with WhatsApp messages, but I haven't answered any single message. She refuses to understand that I have definitely cut contact with her.

Post: #156

(01-31-2017 01:32 AM)DrCotard Wrote:  

(08-03-2016 12:42 AM)DrCotard Wrote:  

(07-09-2016 11:15 AM)DrCotard Wrote:  

(06-03-2016 12:40 PM)DrCotard Wrote:  Starting this year, I soft-nexted a girl who friendzoned me years ago. Well, she friendzoned me because I was a guy who behaved like a beta bitch without game and she lost interest when I didn't push for the bang.

Surprisingly, she's writing me e-mails asking me "When are we going to see each other?". I don't know whether to respond her e-mails with a dick pic (not of my junk obviously) or don't write her at all.

Update: she made me a call yesterday and I didn't answer the phone. Feels good to avoid contact with a girl like her.

Update 2: she finally understood that I nexted her. It's quite liberating to know that I definitely got rid of a girl who wasn't worth the hassle. Anabasis, if you're reading this thread, I want to congratulate you for this thread.

Update 3: Actually, she keeps pestering me with WhatsApp messages, but I haven't answered any single message. She refuses to understand that I have definitely cut contact with her.

You obviously made the right call by nexting her, by cutting your losses. You want to learn from your mistakes and not let this happen again. She represents a former self to you, one that you want to leave in the past.

Or, shes totally ready to bang. If, and I mean if, you want to give it a shot, just ask her to show up to your place with wine and food. Then try to get the bang. If she says no, and gives you more drama, block her for real. Like completely block her number for good. I would only do this if she represents nothing more than sex to you.

Only do this if its not going to mess with your head. If you think you are not about to go there with her, I wouldn't do this.

Post: #157

(01-29-2017 02:00 PM)Graft Wrote:  I really just want to know what caused the entire thing, just because the relationship seemed highly intense, with her expressing her undying loyalty to me, then "poof."

I'm not actively going to try to hit her up, I'm strict No Contact, but I definitely have some unanswered questions about the relationship and what exactly happened.

My experience is asking a girl why she left you usually offers little-to-no value because they either won't tell the truth or they can't rightly say because they may not even know themselves. It may hurt more than it helps if her answer is misleading, though if you are really good at interpreting girl speak you may possibly be able to glean the real reason out of her response.

In any event closure is for the birds.

Post: #158

Going through like my fifth breakup with an LTR that I'm thinking I should finally just let go.

This song helps:

Post: #159

(02-02-2017 12:10 PM)Vaun Wrote:  

(01-31-2017 01:32 AM)DrCotard Wrote:  

(08-03-2016 12:42 AM)DrCotard Wrote:  

(07-09-2016 11:15 AM)DrCotard Wrote:  

(06-03-2016 12:40 PM)DrCotard Wrote:  Starting this year, I soft-nexted a girl who friendzoned me years ago. Well, she friendzoned me because I was a guy who behaved like a beta bitch without game and she lost interest when I didn't push for the bang.

Surprisingly, she's writing me e-mails asking me "When are we going to see each other?". I don't know whether to respond her e-mails with a dick pic (not of my junk obviously) or don't write her at all.

Update: she made me a call yesterday and I didn't answer the phone. Feels good to avoid contact with a girl like her.

Update 2: she finally understood that I nexted her. It's quite liberating to know that I definitely got rid of a girl who wasn't worth the hassle. Anabasis, if you're reading this thread, I want to congratulate you for this thread.

Update 3: Actually, she keeps pestering me with WhatsApp messages, but I haven't answered any single message. She refuses to understand that I have definitely cut contact with her.

You obviously made the right call by nexting her, by cutting your losses. You want to learn from your mistakes and not let this happen again. She represents a former self to you, one that you want to leave in the past.

Or, shes totally ready to bang. If, and I mean if, you want to give it a shot, just ask her to show up to your place with wine and food. Then try to get the bang. If she says no, and gives you more drama, block her for real. Like completely block her number for good. I would only do this if she represents nothing more than sex to you.

Only do this if its not going to mess with your head. If you think you are not about to go there with her, I wouldn't do this.

Thanks a lot for your feedback. I sense that she's restarting contact because she doesn't want to lose me (in the provider sense AKA the chump mode )

Post: #160

I need to hang this up on my wall. I've torpedoed the immediate "after period" of two girlfriends breaking up with me due to me wanting to get "closure" in some way, and then I just blew up on them.

This most recent one I blew up on Jan 16th, and I've blocked on social media, for my own benefit.

In general, I'm thinking that the women who break up with me are the much harder ones to go no contact with (which when I type out, seems obvious).

Post: #161

Hey Guys, Chiming in on the No Contact Thread, I'm using this as an outlet for some kind of closure, Starting NC today with my Ex-Fiancée, found out she was on dating sites actively my entire last tour, and I didn't find out for three months after returning home, and after knocking her up w/ the intention of marriage, after confronting her about it, she packed up and left with no defense or explanation, Can't
allow myself to contact her, at all costs, strength be with me. Day 1 NC.

Post: #162

(02-03-2017 07:31 AM)PV2X Wrote:  Hey Guys, Chiming in on the No Contact Thread, I'm using this as an outlet for some kind of closure, Starting NC today with my Ex-Fiancée, found out she was on dating sites actively my entire last tour, and I didn't find out for three months after returning home, and after knocking her up w/ the intention of marriage, after confronting her about it, she packed up and left with no defense or explanation, Can't
allow myself to contact her, at all costs, strength be with me. Day 1 NC.

Remember that silence is power. Do not contact under any circumstances and give up that power.

Post: #163

(02-03-2017 07:31 AM)PV2X Wrote:  Hey Guys, Chiming in on the No Contact Thread, I'm using this as an outlet for some kind of closure, Starting NC today with my Ex-Fiancée, found out she was on dating sites actively my entire last tour, and I didn't find out for three months after returning home, and after knocking her up w/ the intention of marriage, after confronting her about it, she packed up and left with no defense or explanation, Can't
allow myself to contact her, at all costs, strength be with me. Day 1 NC.

This is really fucked up, something a weaker dude might doing something harmful to himself over. I'm sorry to hear. Try to hold out and build up your inner resistance. Peace and prayers your way.

Post: #164

(02-03-2017 06:28 PM)Mayweather Wrote:  

(02-03-2017 07:31 AM)PV2X Wrote:  Hey Guys, Chiming in on the No Contact Thread, I'm using this as an outlet for some kind of closure, Starting NC today with my Ex-Fiancée, found out she was on dating sites actively my entire last tour, and I didn't find out for three months after returning home, and after knocking her up w/ the intention of marriage, after confronting her about it, she packed up and left with no defense or explanation, Can't
allow myself to contact her, at all costs, strength be with me. Day 1 NC.

This is really fucked up, something a weaker dude might doing something harmful to himself over. I'm sorry to hear. Try to hold out and build up your inner resistance. Peace and prayers your way.

Thank you Brothers, I am a strong individual, but your support is greatly appreciated, I will check in. I pray this never happens to any of you. May we all take note, and further realize there true nature.

Post: #165

(02-03-2017 07:51 PM)PV2X Wrote:  

(02-03-2017 06:28 PM)Mayweather Wrote:  

(02-03-2017 07:31 AM)PV2X Wrote:  Hey Guys, Chiming in on the No Contact Thread, I'm using this as an outlet for some kind of closure, Starting NC today with my Ex-Fiancée, found out she was on dating sites actively my entire last tour, and I didn't find out for three months after returning home, and after knocking her up w/ the intention of marriage, after confronting her about it, she packed up and left with no defense or explanation, Can't
allow myself to contact her, at all costs, strength be with me. Day 1 NC.

This is really fucked up, something a weaker dude might doing something harmful to himself over. I'm sorry to hear. Try to hold out and build up your inner resistance. Peace and prayers your way.

Thank you Brothers, I am a strong individual, but your support is greatly appreciated, I will check in. I pray this never happens to any of you. May we all take note, and further realize there true nature.

That's all sorts of messed up. I've never had something as extreme as what's happened to you but the only thing you can do is keep yourself busy and keep to a regimented schedule of action. Sitting around, sleeping, ruminating will only make things worse.

Since you mentioned you've been deployed, I have no doubt that you have the strength to endure this and become stronger.

Good luck brother.

Post: #166

(02-03-2017 08:04 PM)BetaNoMore Wrote:  

(02-03-2017 07:51 PM)PV2X Wrote:  

(02-03-2017 06:28 PM)Mayweather Wrote:  

(02-03-2017 07:31 AM)PV2X Wrote:  Hey Guys, Chiming in on the No Contact Thread, I'm using this as an outlet for some kind of closure, Starting NC today with my Ex-Fiancée, found out she was on dating sites actively my entire last tour, and I didn't find out for three months after returning home, and after knocking her up w/ the intention of marriage, after confronting her about it, she packed up and left with no defense or explanation, Can't
allow myself to contact her, at all costs, strength be with me. Day 1 NC.

This is really fucked up, something a weaker dude might doing something harmful to himself over. I'm sorry to hear. Try to hold out and build up your inner resistance. Peace and prayers your way.

Thank you Brothers, I am a strong individual, but your support is greatly appreciated, I will check in. I pray this never happens to any of you. May we all take note, and further realize there true nature.

That's all sorts of messed up. I've never had something as extreme as what's happened to you but the only thing you can do is keep yourself busy and keep to a regimented schedule of action. Sitting around, sleeping, ruminating will only make things worse.

Since you mentioned you've been deployed, I have no doubt that you have the strength to endure this and become stronger.

Good luck brother.

Thanks My Brother! Yeah man, Keeping it Alpha. It is a test, but also, a blessing in disguise and a lesson to be learned, My only hope is that others learn from this. And adhere to there own personal policy to prevent it.

Post: #167

I feel myself wanting to contact my 2016-TR. Last we "spoke" was mid-January when I blew up on her over chat, and then blocked her on Facebook.

I have another account, and I looked up her profile today and saw she deleted a profile photo of us together. I've been re-reading the rant I sent her before I blocked her and I am starting to feel remorse.

What am I trying to get in contact with her for? A kind word? - I was being treated rudely even when I was trying to be civil, so it's foolish of me to think I'd get a kind word when now she has every right to be a bitch to me.

Am I still holding out hope? - Honestly, as fucked up as it sounds, perhaps. She's the best LTR i've had, and I think that my issues came down to me not being mature enough for her at this point of my life (that sounds beta, but whatever).

I have gotten back to gaming, and have added another notch since then (a notch I am trying to spin into a plate). But today for some reason is just...hurting.

Post: #168

(02-04-2017 12:39 PM)MaceTyrell Wrote:  Am I still holding out hope? - Honestly, as fucked up as it sounds, perhaps. She's the best LTR i've had, and I think that my issues came down to me not being mature enough for her at this point of my life (that sounds beta, but whatever).

That's the key word. Had. Not have. Had. She is longer yours. May have been the best one you had but your lease is up. There's always a new one around the corner.

No matter what people say it will take time if you truly cares about her but you can't torture yourself. Don't find yourself Facebook stalking her. Embrace your new found FREEDOM and take full advantage of it.

Post: #169

She has sent me ten messages without a reply from me. Must suck to be a whore.

Post: #170

(02-05-2017 07:10 PM)PV2X Wrote:  She has sent me ten messages without a reply from me. Must suck to be a whore.

Stay strong Airborne. They are experts at manipulation.

Post: #171

(02-05-2017 07:10 PM)PV2X Wrote:  She has sent me ten messages without a reply from me. Must suck to be a whore.

Think about it this way: Women need attention from external sources. You are a source of attention she craves. Therefore she "pings" you to get that attention.
If you respond, doesn't matter of positively or negatively, she gets what she wants.
A reaction and therefore attention.
Each ping is to check if you are still "on the leash".

Post: #172

All The Way Vinman, All the way. Thanks brothers, I will admit it is difficult, and she is adept at manipulation, and seems very convincing, but I will not.

Post: #173

(02-06-2017 06:26 PM)PV2X Wrote:  All The Way Vinman, All the way. Thanks brothers, I will admit it is difficult, and she is adept at manipulation, and seems very convincing, but I will not.

I'm sending you a PM.

Post: #174

Seeing how I've never, ever had an issue with women I am trying to go no-contact with contact me & me have to muster the strength to ignore it, makes me realize how all the more beta I have been over my entire history of women.

Post: #175

So Valentine's coming... and I'm single and no prospects (though been trying hard) and that makes me sad. And have irrational thoughts of re-contacting my ex. Even though I know she's seeing a new guy. What's the point, then? At best, I'd be politely told to go away. I guess it makes me angry that pretty girls have it so easy...