Post: #1826

Chaos, man, that post really made my day. Thank you for it. I've wondered quite a few times about how you were doing but didn't want to ask.

Congrats on the 1 year -- that is a big deal; and a +1 rep point from me that it will be my great pleasure to give you. And further congrats on reupping for year 2 -- year 2 is in many ways a bigger deal than year 1 because it's the one that seals the deal. All you need to do now is just stay the course.

I did not get a chance to welcome you aboard for that first year, which is more than fine -- I respect the idea that you did not want to say anything until it was done. But that makes it all the sweeter for me to have the year 2 honors.

Chaos, welcome aboard for year 2 as of January 8, 2017 and I look forward to hearing more from you here as time goes on.

Post: #1827

^Thanks sir.

Honestly I think I would never gotten the idea of a sober year if it was not for this forum.
God knows what the hell had happened during 2016 if I didn't put down the bottle.

Kudos to you Lizard and the other participants of the wagon.

Post: #1828

Do you guys recommend AA? I've searched and found meetings online in chat rooms. This might work for me

Post: #1829

(10-13-2016 11:00 PM)DTD309 Wrote:  I'm back stateside now. Good cruise, but time again to cut off the booze.

My second first-year wagon began day 1 on 10/11/2016. This is approximately 3 months after completing my initial wagon year on 7/4/2016. Although I have shared tales of woe here from my ill-fated attempt at moderation post-wagon, I cannot emphasize enough the mistake that I made attempting an intermission.

The prospect of this second wagon does not draw apprehension within me at all as the goal I know personally to be fully achievable. I am realizing the choice needs to be more of a durable lifestyle adjustment and not an annual goal, at least for me.

Just checking in. Today marks 3 months on the wagon. This wagon, 90 days in, is significantly easier than the first. I think there is a learned perseverance that stays with you.. another positive benefit. Just wish I wouldn't have taken 3 months off between the wagons.

DTD

Post: #1830

Checking in during my second wagon attempt in this thread, I recently passed 100 days without alcohol or marijuana. I had planned on a full-Mormon wagon but about 2 weeks ago I started drinking coffee, I will continue to monitor how it affects me. Other than that things have been much easier this go around without too many strong cravings. I’ve certainly had some difficult times where drinking 12 beers or smoking a bowl seems like a good idea but these cravings pass soon enough and I know where that road leads to. I’ve been around alcohol plenty of times and only once did I want to join in. I’m sure difficult times are in my future but I’m confident I’m better suited to handle them now.

Post: #1831

(01-09-2017 02:53 PM)AlphaGrowthHormone Wrote:  Do you guys recommend AA? I've searched and found meetings online in chat rooms. This might work for me

I had this same internal struggle when I kept going back to drinking because I was so miserable trying to do it alone, and I remember asking my friends sister who had gotten sober through AA. She told me that regular drinkers never have "AA" cross their minds... What a gut punch... I started going soon after that and haven't drank since. Worked for me, mainly because it was an external commitment to prioritize sobriety. I never got too involved in the weird subculture or anything -- I just went in and listened to old men of all professions, educations, skill sets and life experiences talk about little things they had picked up along the way that helped them stay off the booze. Was a good way to get some different perspective and get out of the prison that my own mind had become. Delicious Tacos has a great post here:
https://delicioustacos.com/2014/02/16/we...powerless/

Quote:AA sucks except there’s always the one guy. That’s why you go back. I’ve been to a bunch of them now. And it all sucks except fifteen seconds out of the hour is perfect. Plus the ass crack.

He is right... No matter how many women whine about some retarded bullshit in the search for validation or how many brain damaged idiots ramble on about the most non sensical crap, there is always one guy who says something meaningful that describes your current lot in life perfectly and a potential pathway out of it.

There are lots of things you can do if your drinking is becoming a big problem, AA is just one option. I never did the chat room/internet based thing but maybe it will help, look at how much value people have gotten out of this thread alone as an online resource. In fact, I highly recommend this thread because many guys including Lizard of Oz have moved on from drinking without something like AA. Many have read Allan Carr. It just depends on what perspective "clicks" with you -- there is no set route on this journey, just find what works for you if you are in a place where you feel that it's time to address your drinking. I still remember great posts by guys like Charlemagne in Sweatpants, Felix88, 3extra and Reaper23 (banned) because the words they typed just clicked with my frame of mind. Good luck with whatever path you take man...

Post: #1832

Mad respect, but no idea how you guys do it. Life is so boring without alcohol.

Post: #1833

(01-13-2017 10:52 AM)Adrenaline Wrote:  Mad respect, but no idea how you guys do it. Life is so boring without alcohol.

I strongly felt that way for the better part of 15 years. I would probably still feel that way if not for realizing that "boring" was a huge upgrade from the baggage I collected from those 15 years of "excitement."

It is probably fair to say I am a boring person now. Or maybe I was always boring, but just with frequent hangovers? Hard to say for sure since I don't have my old set of drinking friends anymore...

DTD

Post: #1834

I am on board as of January 1. I usually would only drink about 1-2x per month but when I did it was typically 3-5 drinks. Not sure why I am getting on board, but am a guy who thinks self control is one of the best avenues to growth. I already do intermittent fasting and just thought this was the next step for me. Hoping to hit a year then see how I feel at that point in time.

Post: #1835

Reached two months on the wagon this week, on 1/11. It's been smooth sailing up until then, but the past few days have been tough. This is the point where I had to buckle down and commit to the wagon long-term. I've had thoughts like 'I can handle just drinking occasionally', and especially 'Do I really need to stick it out through the whole year?'. I had to solidify my reasons and remember that I staked my honor on not having a single drink all year. The worst of it is over, and I'm ready to stay on the wagon for a long time. Browsing reddit.com/r/stopdrinking helped my resolve as well.

Picked up some craft non-alcoholic beer to sate the urges a bit. Not ideal, but better than failing. Today I had some ideas that give me a great direction for the next year, and a quest to work on that will lead to my ideal career down the road. I'm considering these ideas and new path as my reward for sticking to the wagon and recommitting to it.

I had some struggles with weed early this year too. Picked some up at the start of the year, had an incredibly fast downward spiral and ended up flushing the rest of it. Gave in to temptation again a few days later, bought some, smoked, ended up flushing that stuff too. Quit weed for at least a year as of 1/11. The way I see it, I have to buckle down and rid myself of the habits that are holding me back one by one. Drugs and alcohol are a trap. They promise you happiness but leave you with despair and a suboptimal life. I'm thankful to be rid of them for good.

Best of luck to all of you on your respective wagons, as always!

Post: #1836

(01-13-2017 05:36 PM)DRE Wrote:  I am on board as of January 1. I usually would only drink about 1-2x per month but when I did it was typically 3-5 drinks. Not sure why I am getting on board, but am a guy who thinks self control is one of the best avenues to growth. I already do intermittent fasting and just thought this was the next step for me. Hoping to hit a year then see how I feel at that point in time.

DRE, if you are not sure, maybe you should think about it a bit more. What you are describing is very moderate drinking, and you might want to consider whether you really want to commit yourself to the 1 year wagon and deny yourself the civilized pleasure of the very occasional drink with friends or on particular occasions.

This thread is for guys who have drunk hard enough and for long enough that they have started to take some real damage of both the obvious and subtler kinds; and for them the 1 year wagon -- a full year without ever having a drink at any time for any reason -- is the best and often the only way to stop going along a truly destructive path. If that is not your situation, the wagon may not be for you.

Please give it some more thought, and if you are certain that you want to commit and stake your pride on doing a 1 year wagon as of January 1, please post here again and I will welcome you on board.

Post: #1837

15 days in. Getting a lot of work done. Written more blog content than I have in months.

Girls here in Vietnam seem impressed by me not drinking. Most of them don't like/can't handle their booze anyway.

There's a strong culture of socializing over coffee here (although the local men are beer guzzlers) so it would be easy to stay sober in this country, I think. Love the cafe culture which has been feeding my creativity (sorry LOZ but constantly breaking the 1 coffee a day rule during this trip!). Nice being somewhere without such strong peer pressure to drink alcohol. Goes to show that it's all relative.

Had a minor mishap. Got offered a free drink sample while on a dinner date. Assuming it was a juice of some kind, I instinctively took a sip before realizing it was British cider! Oops. Gave the sample to my date who then told me she doesn't drink either. Haha. I'll still count myself as staying on the wagon as the sip was 100% not deliberate.

As noted above, I wasn't drinking too heavily in 2016 or 2015 for that matter, but I'm looking forward to a year of creativity, hard work and healthy living. Plus plenty of adventure of course.

Hopefully people don't mind my contributions as a (formerly) moderate/social drinker. I'm well aware that the real target of this thread are guys who really need to stop and I think LOZ is doing God's work by helping and mentoring people along. So I don't want to trivialise that very important task. Please take my contributions as they are - the experience of one dude making some life changes.

Actually, a couple of friends said to me privately that I don't need the wagon. Obviously that's 100% my call. However, I think that everyone, whether heavy or relatively moderate drinkers, can still reap the benefits of a year's wagon. Alcohol isn't necessary for a happy and interesting life. FACT.

The cost savings of cutting it out are immense and I just feel plain better in general. To the guys reading who are on the fence, remember that you don't need to be an "alcoholic" (whatever that means) to consider this. Think of it as a fun challenge and a very deliberate way of building up some masculine self-discipline.

Post: #1838

Count me in on this challenge too. I've always been a heavy drinker, but I've toned it down the last few years since entering my late 20s. That shit is expensive, the hangovers kill productivity, and there are terrible long-term physical consequences from long-term heavy drinking.

Had my last drink on 12/28, when I ironically got drunk with my alcoholic father while visiting for the holidays. I've also been a big pot smoker for more than a decade, and this weekend is my last hooray.

I've just got too much to do this year. I started a freelance career a few months ago and the business has really blown up, plus I have some creative projects on the side that I really want to devote my time to--including learning an instrument. I'll revisit my thoughts on the matter next January.

Really excited to take part in this challenge. I've seen this thread for years now but thought it would be too detrimental to my social life. Fuck that! I've spent years improving myself and I no longer feel like I have to rely on alcohol as a crutch on dates or during night game. Plus, if all else fails just order a club soda with lime...

Post: #1839

(01-13-2017 10:52 AM)Adrenaline Wrote:  Mad respect, but no idea how you guys do it. Life is so boring without alcohol.

Adrenaline, the idea that life can ever be "boring" or that this is an important category to consider is one that belongs to the great health and vulgarity of youth, as does hard drinking. Both have an unquestioned place at 20, and a more tenuous place at 25; and both should fade rapidly as one enters one's thirties.

If a man has neglected these truths for too long, the wagon is the best way to realize them both: one gives up the physical vice and endures the "boredom" that follows, and is taught, by slow degrees, what the depths and sweetnesses of life really are. Once he has tasted them, a man can never again take that inane idea of "boredom" seriously and it falls away along with some of the other vulgarities and stupidities of youth.

Post: #1840

(01-14-2017 02:34 PM)Bushido Wrote:  To the guys reading who are on the fence, remember that you don't need to be an "alcoholic" (whatever that means) to consider this. Think of it as a fun challenge and a very deliberate way of building up some masculine self-discipline.

Bushido, you are of course free to approach the wagon in this spirit. But there is a great difference between this and the position of so many other guys for whom the wagon is a matter of nearly life and death; the prospect of terrible physical decline in some cases or, which can be even worse, the spiritual death-in-life that is visited upon the hard drinker who has overstayed his time. Please understand what this difference is and that it should be respected.

This thread should be reserved, for the most part, for those to whom it is of grave and life-changing importance. It is not just another "self improvement" adventure. Everyone is free to comment, of course, but please keep this difference in mind.

Post: #1841

Quote:Bushido, you are of course free to approach the wagon in this spirit. But there is a great difference between this and the position of so many other guys for whom the wagon is a matter of nearly life and death; the prospect of terrible physical decline in some cases or, which can be even worse, the spiritual death-in-life that is visited upon the hard drinker who has overstayed his time. Please understand what this difference is and that it should be respected.

This thread should be reserved, for the most part, for those to whom it is of grave and life-changing importance. It is not just another "self improvement" adventure. Everyone is free to comment, of course, but please keep this difference in mind.

I apologize if my post came off as flippant too. I meant no disrespect towards those who are truly struggling with alcohol and need to quit for their health and to avoid hitting rock bottom. I've been there and I understand the uphill battle they face.

I guess I may as well add my story to the thread. My dad was a heavy drinker turned alcoholic when I was growing up and I picked up his penchant for women, whiskey and cigarettes at a young age. Had my first drink at 15 and instantly fell in love. Drank regularly, but socially, throughout high school and college. Looking back, though, I can now see the signs of trouble.

Fast forward to 2012 and I'm going through a rough divorce, only to wake up one day and realize that I'm a full blown alcoholic. At this point I was going straight home from work to pound a fifth of Rye (always my favorite) before I passed out, with a stop or two at the bar in between. What had started out as some friendly drinks with college friends or colleagues had slowly devolved into full blown alcoholism.

What really started freaking me and convinced me to quit was two things: waking up with receipts in my pocket and realizing that I had gone all over town, completely blacked out (living on the East Coast at the time and didn't drive, thank god), and realizing that my health was beginning to deteriorate. I was suffering from constant muscle cramps (I have a potassium deficiency and literally couldn't keep enough of the mineral in my body because of alcohol's diuretic effects), was constantly getting sick, and had ulcers so bad I had to go to the emergency room.

I was incredibly drunk one day (had drank a whole bottle of cask strength whiskey without realizing the proof) and decided to empty my liquor cabinet and quite cold turkey. That lasted all of one day! Haha. I'm sure anyone who has tried to quit on their own can relate.

But I kept at it. It took about 5 or 6 times of me drunkenly pouring the rest of my booze down the sink at the end of the night before it finally took. Stopped drinking completely for over nine months.

I was also a heavy pot smoker at the time and quite smoking weed a couple weeks later. Gave the both of them up for nine entire months.

Once I felt that I was in a better mental space and had escaped the lure of the bottle, I decided to occasionally have a drink or two with friends. Now I'm not going to lie and say I've never gotten drunk since and I always moderate myself to a drink or two. It's quite the opposite. I settled into a pattern of letting "the beast in me" loose once every month or two. I'd get absolutely shit-faced drunk to the point where I never wanted to taste alcohol again, and that would last about a month before I'd feel the urge again.

Now while I've beat the burden of drinking heavily everyday, I know that binge drinking regularly is not healthy and WILL cause damage in the long run. Especially considering the years of daily drinking that I put my body through. I've seen this with my dad and his friends. They are all military veterans in their 50s and 60s, dealing with the health effects of hard drinking but still can't pull themselves away from the bottle. I don't want that to be me in 20 years.

This is where I find myself today. I'm ready to give up alcohol for good. It offers no benefit to me, and I've drunk enough whiskey for ten lifetimes.

If anyone on the forum is going through the early stages of giving up alcohol, or just wants to discuss the possibility of doing so, feel free to PM me or ask me in the thread. Lizard of Oz started the thread and has done a terrific job helping others struggling with alcohol to work through their demons, and I'm happy to help in whatever way that I can.

Edited: Fixed quote box.

Post: #1842

Donkey George,

No apology is necessary. However, in reference to your post before the last one: are you in for the full year as of December 28, 2016?

You say you are "ready to give up alcohol for good", but that starts with 1 year -- 365 days with not one drink, at any time, for any reason. If you are ready for that seemingly more modest but very specific commitment, please confirm and restate your start date and I will then welcome you aboard.

Post: #1843

(01-15-2017 09:00 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  Donkey George,

No apology is necessary. However, in reference to your post before the last one: are you in for the full year as of December 28, 2016?

You say you are "ready to give up alcohol for good", but that starts with 1 year -- 365 days with not one drink, at any time, for any reason. If you are ready for that seemingly more modest but very specific commitment, please confirm and restate your start date and I will then welcome you aboard.

Yes, I am all-in for the full year as of 12/28/16.

Post: #1844

Donkey George, thank you, and welcome aboard as of December 28, 2016. I look forward to hearing more from you on this thread as time goes on.

Post: #1845

On the 21st November I made a post to say I had decided to give up alcohol permanently. It was made slightly impulsively, due to a number of personal matters. However, I've managed to stick to it to this day, and I feel as though I have regained control of my life. I've been able to set goals, and achieve them.

I read a lot of the pages for this thread. You have no idea how much it helped me see the light! Thank you!

Post: #1846

(01-16-2017 03:28 PM)JonnyOxford88 Wrote:  On the 21st November I made a post to say I had decided to give up alcohol permanently. It was made slightly impulsively, due to a number of personal matters. However, I've managed to stick to it to this day, and I feel as though I have regained control of my life. I've been able to set goals, and achieve them.

I read a lot of the pages for this thread. You have no idea how much it helped me see the light! Thank you!

Jonny, I remember your post. I'm very happy to hear that you've found this thread to be helpful.

I think that in response to your post from November, I suggested that instead of deciding to give up alcohol permanently, you should do something more concrete: give it up for 1 year, starting on a particular date, and making that an ironclad commitment. That's still my suggestion -- if you'd like to commit to a 1 year wagon, please do so in this thread. If you haven't had any drinks since November 21, that can be your start date.

Post: #1847

I lasted 4 weeks. Damn. Back at it again. Totally regret drinking.

Post: #1848

Found this thread back in early 2014. I went on for five months, and then gave it up because I started a new job and decided it would help. I started to drink heavily each weekend, and I realised I wasn't getting anything out of it. I made a commitment to the one year wagon again on the 12th Jan 2016, but didn't post it on here.

The year rolled by and I can safely say that I've completed a full year without a single drop of alcohol, as of last week. I've lurked and revisted the thread from time to time, in case Lizard posted any more wisdom, and to remind myself why I was doing it.

The first 3-4 months are easy enough - the health benefits are immense and you realise it's not awkward to say no to others who want you to drink. 'No thank you' is better and more final than 'I'm fine thanks' or 'I'm not drinking tonight/this year'. Now I don't care one bit if someone is offended that I won't drink. In fact I don't really spend much time around people getting drunk anymore because it's not fun.

One of the biggest tests came when I was in Poland, visiting extended family, and I was asked to toast vodka. Offence was taken, and everyone was shocked that I refused to drink it, or even 'wet my lips'. Five minutes later everyone had forgotten about it anyway. No one cared, and I didn't have to deal with having failed myself for fear of social consequences. I'm proud of myself for being able to say no.

My lifestyle has changed a lot. I'm in NYC and used to hit bars all the time. Now I'm focused on my passions - writing, reading, sport. I'm not chasing pleasure, even though when my will breaks, I'll eat something unhealthy. My weight has dropped substantially - from 165 at 5'9 to 149lb and I'm more muscular. My body is able to focus all of its regenerative capacity on healing daily wear rather than large doses of depressants and all the hormonal imbalances.

The other big one is testosterone. Now while this reading is over more like 20 months, you can still get a pretty good sense of what you have to gain from this:
Testosterone Feb 15: 16.3n/mol
Testosterone Oct 16: 29.5n/mol

I wasn't even overweight back then, but I've had to buy a whole new wardrobe, about 7k later. It's worth it. I've done a mix of low carb/bodyweight exercises/HIITcardio.
One of the harder things is the 'letting life come to you' way that you must cultivate, since instant release and social bonding can't be opened from a bottle. Same goes for confidence. It helps that I have an LTR but even girls that I talk to I'm more confident now without alcohol. It makes me less vulnerable somehow.

I'm making a commitment to another year, starting from 12 Jan 16. I've thought about just trying another beer, since I know I don't have the urge or the cravings anymore. But I remembered Alan Carrs book, and I realised that I don't really want to. I would insist on reading it for anyone starting out. Not reading is how I was able to rationalise coming off it the first time.

The big impacts of the 'wow health, wow productivity, wow self-knowledge' aspects of being off the sauce feel like they're kind of over now (but I still enjoy looking younger, more energetic and healther every day), and they are definitely worth it. Thing is I don't know what benefits year two will bring, and I don't want to break a streak that I'm proud of. It's also much easier to build and maintain good habits (money, health and social) when you're almost never in bad decision making mode or poisoning recovery mode.

Anyone wondering if they can do this, you definitely can. To give myself some credit, I've accomplished more in the last 12 months than I did in the three years before that. (Health, started a business, developed a great relationship, improved family relations, completed a qualification, advanced career hugely).

Thanks to all the other posters and thanks to Lizard for the thread.

Post: #1849

Hendrix90210, thank you for this great post. It made me very happy to read it.

Congrats on completing the 1 year wagon, and a +1 rep point from me. And I think you will see that your decision to reup for another year will prove to be crucial; the second year is the one that consolidates and deepens all the gains made in the first. It is really the key in many cases.

Welcome back aboard as of January 12, 2017, and I look forward to hearing more from you here as time goes on.

Post: #1850

If I am not mistaken, two days ago I reached month number 5. Am actually stoked and sincerely surprised.
At first I was still killing the urge with a lot of non alcoholic beer, but in the last two months even those have become very irregular, it's become more of a treat when I hit the big supermarket where they have my Favorite variant.
My finances are very thankful as well...