Post: #26

Ohh boy. I have strong feeling that senior members who gave you (good) advice earlier in this tread , will tear you a new one.

Post: #27

Glad you realized those 4 points.

But you need to move on and cut this chick out of your life ASAP.

DO NOT CONTACT rule should be enforced and delete her from all your social media.

You're WAY to hungup on this woman.

Post: #28

(12-16-2016 01:28 PM)kaotic Wrote:  Glad you realized those 4 points.

But you need to move on and cut this chick out of your life ASAP.

DO NOT CONTACT rule should be enforced and delete her from all your social media.

You're WAY to hungup on this woman.

6th day of NC. I am beating myself up about everything, it is my fault that this didnt work out, what I am beating myself up most about is that I didnt sleep with her.

I have a date tonight and another date with someone else on Monday.

Post: #29

OP, you overloaded this 17 y.o. with words and actions that confused her, upset her, put her off you and more. You gave her too many things to process, without reading her well enough to be able to do the right thing at the right time. Meanwhile you thought this was game.
Hard luck, look to the future.

In short, you should have set the scene for sex, seeing as you once had comfort at 100% judging by how she acted child-like around you, looking at you as a protector.
You didn't transition to sexualising the time spent together. 4 months means you blew many opportunities.
Good luck next time with reading girls and acting accordingly. You need to play the part (her fantasy perception of you) until you get the bang, without wasting too much time.

Post: #30

(12-21-2016 11:26 AM)brick tamland Wrote:  OP, you overloaded this 17 y.o. with words and actions that confused her, upset her, put her off you and more. You gave her too many things to process, without reading her well enough to be able to do the right thing at the right time. Meanwhile you thought this was game.
Hard luck, look to the future.

In short, you should have set the scene for sex, seeing as you once had comfort at 100% judging by how she acted child-like around you, looking at you as a protector.
You didn't transition to sexualising the time spent together. 4 months means you blew many opportunities.
Good luck next time with reading girls and acting accordingly. You need to play the part (her fantasy perception of you) until you get the bang, without wasting too much time.

You are right. I did try and sexuaise things, we would have very heavy make-out sessions and she used to love me giving her neck bites, we did other sexual things too but this was all in my car where we couldnt escalate further. the scene was not right.

We agreed we would sleep together but then there was no contact from either of us for 3 days. This is where she met someone else and had sex with him within a month. She broke it off with him and came back to me, things were going good again, the friendship talk came out of nowhere for me because her actions said otherwise a couple of days before, kissing me, head in chest, hand in hand. Seeing each other, she wanted to see me more and for me to buy her flowers.

Maybe she just didnt want a ltr, she is 17, id love to have her as a f*ck buddy.

Post: #31

(12-21-2016 10:15 AM)wonderer1 Wrote:  

(12-16-2016 01:28 PM)kaotic Wrote:  Glad you realized those 4 points.

But you need to move on and cut this chick out of your life ASAP.

DO NOT CONTACT rule should be enforced and delete her from all your social media.

You're WAY to hungup on this woman.

6th day of NC. I am beating myself up about everything, it is my fault that this didnt work out, what I am beating myself up most about is that I didnt sleep with her.

I have a date tonight and another date with someone else on Monday.

Who cares if you didn't bang her ? There's plenty of other girls out there.

Yes most your pain was self inflicted but guess who can fix that ? YOU !



Remember the stages, it's okay to feel the way you do, BUT you have to keep moving forward !

Post: #32

(12-21-2016 12:59 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(12-21-2016 10:15 AM)wonderer1 Wrote:  

(12-16-2016 01:28 PM)kaotic Wrote:  Glad you realized those 4 points.

But you need to move on and cut this chick out of your life ASAP.

DO NOT CONTACT rule should be enforced and delete her from all your social media.

You're WAY to hungup on this woman.

6th day of NC. I am beating myself up about everything, it is my fault that this didnt work out, what I am beating myself up most about is that I didnt sleep with her.

I have a date tonight and another date with someone else on Monday.

Who cares if you didn't bang her ? There's plenty of other girls out there.

Yes most your pain was self inflicted but guess who can fix that ? YOU !



Remember the stages, it's okay to feel the way you do, BUT you have to keep moving forward !

What hurts the most is that I made all the mistakes.

Was it really all me? I didnt text for 3 days but I couldve been busy / in hospital? She couldve talked to me about it? She could not have seen someone else behind my back? She didnt want a relationship longer than 3/4 months? These are some of the things which make me think yes I did things wrong, but she didnt help the situation either and some of the blame could be on her.

Thanks for your help.

Post: #33

You didn't make all the mistakes but you also let her get away with a few things.

At this point she doesn't matter, you need to learn from your mistakes and fix that moving forward.

You can keep crying over 1 girl in this world or move forward and meet another 1000 - it's your choice.

She isn't the special little snowflake you think she is.

Post: #34

(12-21-2016 01:50 PM)kaotic Wrote:  You didn't make all the mistakes but you also let her get away with a few things.

At this point she doesn't matter, you need to learn from your mistakes and fix that moving forward.

You can keep crying over 1 girl in this world or move forward and meet another 1000 - it's your choice.

She isn't the special little snowflake you think she is.

Can you expand? I will use it as an opportunity to learn and grow. I will be keeping to no contact and will move on. I have two dates lined up.

Post: #35

(12-04-2016 02:42 PM)wonderer1 Wrote:  There was a point early on where she bluntly said she didn’t want to see me anymore. This was because she was subtly asking for a relationship a number of times which I was too arrogant in my response. I went ghost for a day and then went a bit AFC – said I wanted her. It worked on this girl and we started seeing each other again.

She said she didn't want to see you anymore, that was her Trump card, she played it and you folded. You didn't maintain frame.

You should've bailed right then and there since you didn't want a relationship.

Quote:We had lots of dates since then and everything was great. We had planned going to a play for some time, she bought the tickets for us, and we were both very excited for it, we agreed a couple of dates ago that we would sleep with each other that weekend, but I didn’t mention it again as she said she was scared and would need to think about it.

Seriously, you guys "planned" to have sex ?

You just let it happen and escalate, actions speak louder than words.

You scared the cat.

Quote:I then went ghost for a day, then re-initiated again, asked her how her weekend was, she said she was studying (a lie) again a few texts, I wanted to gauge her interest, I wasn’t getting much response. I then ghosted for another day, where I then initiated for a fourth time, I said have you heard from your cat in Russia, I got a lengthy response which I was pleased about, I then said again that I missed him, she replied “he doesn’t miss you” no laughing faces or “haha’s”, I then asked how she was where I got no reply. I tried to call her two days after to find out what was going on, she didn’t reply, said she couldn’t talk, so I said its fine im going to London anyway, so she told me to piss off.

She wasn't responding to you much, that's a red flag, then she told you to fuck off.

Once again, you should've left and ended it there. She blew you off and was doing her own thing.

Quote:The next day I apologized, and put my feelings on the line, I still didn’t know what was actually wrong at this point.

Big mistake, makes you look weak and you lost your frame.

Quote:She texted a few days later saying: I’m upset about you, in my opinion the relationship cannot continue. Ps you should hold your tounge when you talk to me. Her grammar isn’t great, and I wanted to speak to her on the phone, she wouldn’t pick up, I said call me because I don’t understand.

She said: im trying to say I don’t want to talk anymore, so you can continue to sleep with your “crown” on your head.

I didn’t respond, a few hours later I get a : you are a beggar who costs nothing. She was twisting when I used to call myself a king against me, she did used to laugh at these jokes of mine.

Once again, she's literally telling you to fuck off, you pissed her off and now you look like a little bitch because you're trying to confess your love to her.

Quote:I thought maybe also she wanted to hear was an apology so I said sorry again. She then said: and I have news for you, I have another man. Shes not lying, I saw a pic on her social media with him.

So you double down and spill your heart out again and apologize, wrong move, and she burns you by saying she has another dude.

At this point it's time to move the fuck on but you aren't having it.

Quote:I then said ok, and then put my heart on the line again, said the last 4 months weren’t a joke and so on, she then blocked me. I had ordered some flowers a few days before which were due to arrive in a couple of days.

She blocked you, seriously, move on dude.

The flowers arrived, she unblocked me then said thank you she loved them. I apologized, she said ok but to never be mean to her again. She called me excited, asked when we could meet, I saw her yesterday.

Quote:She's setting the terms for the relationship moving forward, lose/lose for you.

Quote:It was like nothing had ever happened, I brought up the situation because I wanted to know what had happened, as I still wasnt sure, and wanted to avoid it from happening again, her response was that she was thinking about herself and that relationships are hard. I found this response weird, as if this was the case why was she insulting me and saying I was being mean? I then joked around with her having another guy, I asked if she was seeing someone, she said she had been but not anymore and that he had gone back to his home country, she also deleted the photo of them two off social media. I wont be bringing him up again, me and her have never had a talk about seeing other people after 4 months. I said to her if anything happens where you get upset again she needs to tell me so that we can sort it out, she agreed.

She didn't want a relationship obviously, she's too lazy to have one and she young wild and free.

She basically hooked up with this dude who was visiting and the came back to you - YOU WERE SECOND PLACE.

Quote:This is where we are now, we're talking all ill be seeing her again next week. She didn't let me kiss her yesterday.

What are your takes / advice going forward? or feedback on this interaction.

You got this girl flowers, kissed her ass, and she didn't let her kiss you ?

(12-04-2016 05:53 PM)wonderer1 Wrote:  Update -

She uploaded the picture of the flowers to her social media earlier, she deleted it, shes now re-uploaded the picture of her and the guy. I dont follow her on that social media

Once again she's playing you for a fool.

(12-16-2016 10:03 AM)wonderer1 Wrote:  Update -

We started seeing each other again, it had become like old times, we were making out and she was kinoing me, hand in hand, head in my chest, she would give me good night texts with love hearts. She asked me to get her flowers the next time I saw her, I didnt do this.

Then yesterday I saw her and she said I was too good for her, and that she doesn't deserve it, said her emotions are all over the place, up and down, and that if we carry on we'd end up in a massive fight and not speaking, she said she could see as better as friends for years to come. She asked if I thought we were compatible.

THIS. This right here is her basically hamstering her reasons of dumping you or you breaking up with her first.

I

Quote: told her no, I cannot be friends with you if there are feelings, I told her to think about what she wants and I will not see you anymore. She was still sure she wanted to be friends and told me to think about it. We left the bar and she looked upset, I walked the other way.

She's shit testing you, she wants you to be her orbiter.

Quote:She also talked about the other guy and how they still speak, she was calling him her ex, said that she had told him to F off, and she doesnt want to be with him. I think they had sex, she talked about how they had an argument about using protection, she wanted to, but he didnt. She also told me the truth about her age being 17.

Here's a fact: SHE WAS STILL TALKING AND HOOKING UP WITH THIS OTHER GUY.

She also lied about her age, I'm sure she's lied about a few other things as well.


I'm not going to be nice about this AT ALL.

She played you like a fiddle, you were made a fool.


You're a paper tiger when it comes to game and didn't learn anything during your relationship.

You learned AFTER you finally had the balls to dump her.


Yet you keep coming back here crying about how you did everything wrong - this women was TOXIC and played with you while having another man in her life.

Virgin or not, I don't give a fuck, this is a bad person in your life.

You cut bad people out of your life.

SHE IS NOT UNIQUE
SHE IS NOT SPECIAL
SHE IS TOXIC
SHE DOESN'T DESERVE YOU
SHE WILL BE MORE HORRIBLE
SHE WILL DO THE SAME SHIT OVER AGAIN
SHE ISN'T THE ONE FOR YOU

Post: #36

(12-21-2016 02:22 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(12-04-2016 02:42 PM)wonderer1 Wrote:  There was a point early on where she bluntly said she didn’t want to see me anymore. This was because she was subtly asking for a relationship a number of times which I was too arrogant in my response. I went ghost for a day and then went a bit AFC – said I wanted her. It worked on this girl and we started seeing each other again.

She said she didn't want to see you anymore, that was her Trump card, she played it and you folded. You didn't maintain frame.

You should've bailed right then and there since you didn't want a relationship.

Quote:We had lots of dates since then and everything was great. We had planned going to a play for some time, she bought the tickets for us, and we were both very excited for it, we agreed a couple of dates ago that we would sleep with each other that weekend, but I didn’t mention it again as she said she was scared and would need to think about it.

Seriously, you guys "planned" to have sex ?

You just let it happen and escalate, actions speak louder than words.

You scared the cat.

Quote:I then went ghost for a day, then re-initiated again, asked her how her weekend was, she said she was studying (a lie) again a few texts, I wanted to gauge her interest, I wasn’t getting much response. I then ghosted for another day, where I then initiated for a fourth time, I said have you heard from your cat in Russia, I got a lengthy response which I was pleased about, I then said again that I missed him, she replied “he doesn’t miss you” no laughing faces or “haha’s”, I then asked how she was where I got no reply. I tried to call her two days after to find out what was going on, she didn’t reply, said she couldn’t talk, so I said its fine im going to London anyway, so she told me to piss off.

She wasn't responding to you much, that's a red flag, then she told you to fuck off.

Once again, you should've left and ended it there. She blew you off and was doing her own thing.

Quote:The next day I apologized, and put my feelings on the line, I still didn’t know what was actually wrong at this point.

Big mistake, makes you look weak and you lost your frame.

Quote:She texted a few days later saying: I’m upset about you, in my opinion the relationship cannot continue. Ps you should hold your tounge when you talk to me. Her grammar isn’t great, and I wanted to speak to her on the phone, she wouldn’t pick up, I said call me because I don’t understand.

She said: im trying to say I don’t want to talk anymore, so you can continue to sleep with your “crown” on your head.

I didn’t respond, a few hours later I get a : you are a beggar who costs nothing. She was twisting when I used to call myself a king against me, she did used to laugh at these jokes of mine.

Once again, she's literally telling you to fuck off, you pissed her off and now you look like a little bitch because you're trying to confess your love to her.

Quote:I thought maybe also she wanted to hear was an apology so I said sorry again. She then said: and I have news for you, I have another man. Shes not lying, I saw a pic on her social media with him.

So you double down and spill your heart out again and apologize, wrong move, and she burns you by saying she has another dude.

At this point it's time to move the fuck on but you aren't having it.

Quote:I then said ok, and then put my heart on the line again, said the last 4 months weren’t a joke and so on, she then blocked me. I had ordered some flowers a few days before which were due to arrive in a couple of days.

She blocked you, seriously, move on dude.

The flowers arrived, she unblocked me then said thank you she loved them. I apologized, she said ok but to never be mean to her again. She called me excited, asked when we could meet, I saw her yesterday.

Quote:She's setting the terms for the relationship moving forward, lose/lose for you.

Quote:It was like nothing had ever happened, I brought up the situation because I wanted to know what had happened, as I still wasnt sure, and wanted to avoid it from happening again, her response was that she was thinking about herself and that relationships are hard. I found this response weird, as if this was the case why was she insulting me and saying I was being mean? I then joked around with her having another guy, I asked if she was seeing someone, she said she had been but not anymore and that he had gone back to his home country, she also deleted the photo of them two off social media. I wont be bringing him up again, me and her have never had a talk about seeing other people after 4 months. I said to her if anything happens where you get upset again she needs to tell me so that we can sort it out, she agreed.

She didn't want a relationship obviously, she's too lazy to have one and she young wild and free.

She basically hooked up with this dude who was visiting and the came back to you - YOU WERE SECOND PLACE.

Quote:This is where we are now, we're talking all ill be seeing her again next week. She didn't let me kiss her yesterday.

What are your takes / advice going forward? or feedback on this interaction.

You got this girl flowers, kissed her ass, and she didn't let her kiss you ?

(12-04-2016 05:53 PM)wonderer1 Wrote:  Update -

She uploaded the picture of the flowers to her social media earlier, she deleted it, shes now re-uploaded the picture of her and the guy. I dont follow her on that social media

Once again she's playing you for a fool.

(12-16-2016 10:03 AM)wonderer1 Wrote:  Update -

We started seeing each other again, it had become like old times, we were making out and she was kinoing me, hand in hand, head in my chest, she would give me good night texts with love hearts. She asked me to get her flowers the next time I saw her, I didnt do this.

Then yesterday I saw her and she said I was too good for her, and that she doesn't deserve it, said her emotions are all over the place, up and down, and that if we carry on we'd end up in a massive fight and not speaking, she said she could see as better as friends for years to come. She asked if I thought we were compatible.

THIS. This right here is her basically hamstering her reasons of dumping you or you breaking up with her first.

I

Quote: told her no, I cannot be friends with you if there are feelings, I told her to think about what she wants and I will not see you anymore. She was still sure she wanted to be friends and told me to think about it. We left the bar and she looked upset, I walked the other way.

She's shit testing you, she wants you to be her orbiter.

Quote:She also talked about the other guy and how they still speak, she was calling him her ex, said that she had told him to F off, and she doesnt want to be with him. I think they had sex, she talked about how they had an argument about using protection, she wanted to, but he didnt. She also told me the truth about her age being 17.

Here's a fact: SHE WAS STILL TALKING AND HOOKING UP WITH THIS OTHER GUY.

She also lied about her age, I'm sure she's lied about a few other things as well.


I'm not going to be nice about this AT ALL.

She played you like a fiddle, you were made a fool.


You're a paper tiger when it comes to game and didn't learn anything during your relationship.

You learned AFTER you finally had the balls to dump her.


Yet you keep coming back here crying about how you did everything wrong - this women was TOXIC and played with you while having another man in her life.

Virgin or not, I don't give a fuck, this is a bad person in your life.

You cut bad people out of your life.

SHE IS NOT UNIQUE
SHE IS NOT SPECIAL
SHE IS TOXIC
SHE DOESN'T DESERVE YOU
SHE WILL BE MORE HORRIBLE
SHE WILL DO THE SAME SHIT OVER AGAIN
SHE ISN'T THE ONE FOR YOU

This really hit home. Thank you. She is nothing. if she ever reaches out I really want to tell her to fuck off

Post: #37

(12-21-2016 02:47 PM)wonderer1 Wrote:  This really hit home. Thank you. She is nothing. if she ever reaches out I really want to tell her to fuck off

Wonderer I'm just giving you some tough love, I'm seeing it from an outsiders perspective and I've been right where you with a girl who I thought was everything.


No need to tell her to fuck off, just delete anything you get from her, matter of fact you should be blocking her from all your social media and text apps.

Post: #38

Props to Kaotic for breaking it down and helping a brother.

OP - there are billions of women in the world.

One of them was interested in you, millions more will be.

Now, go find them.

Soon this girl will be a distant memory.

Post: #39

Quote:This really hit home. Thank you. She is nothing. if she ever reaches out I really want to tell her to fuck off

Don't tell her to fuck off. If you get a message from her, turn on your read receipts and let her know you read it. In 2016 an average looking girl can get attention and reactions, verbal and non verbal, from too many places. Take time rebuilding yourself, and deconstructing your inferiority complex that led to you being hung up on someone that long, with no sex and minimal return affection wise. Next time she bumps into you in a public space she needs to not be able to recognize you mentally or physically. Gone will be the days of jumping at her every text like its a direct deposit and you'll just treat her like one of the guys.

Women HATE to see guys doing better without them. It drives them up the wall. Especially if they have to hear about how you've got a new wardrobe and a new bad bitch on your arm who listens to you and adores you because the man you've become warrants her attention and admiration.

Fuck this girl .

Delete her number but keep the lessons from this fresh at the front your mind. Screenshot disrespectful texts from her for motivation and review them like a textbook to see exactly what you don't want from women. Delete the text thread from her and stop rereading it. Clear her social media out of your browser cache.

To give you a personal example: I've bumped into girls I made beta mistakes with, revealing lesser sides of myself and when they saw me again after a year or however much time passed and they couldn't recognize me. My mindset had shifted so much it made them completely insecure. A guy who was once triple texting them wouldn't even come over to say hi to her. She couldn't understand it. Another time a girl who stood me up, tried to hug me when we met again and I stuck my fist out for a fist bump instead. Keep these hoes at a distance when they act up. Only give women one chance to waste your time. Not even Warren Buffet gets his time back. Treat women who waste it like the black plague.

All the power that women have is the power we give them. The likes we give them, the IG comments we give them, the stares, the double/triple/quadruple texts. All from us. A woman who receives no attention and is not desirable to men has little to no social currency (google: SSBBW's, if you don't believe me).

You do the courting. You do the fucking. You plan the logistics. You do the approaching. Not women. This is a problem related to your construct of relationships and where you fit in that idea in your head. Out of the both of you, you're the one that takes real action in nature.

You're the real prize.

Start acting like it.

Church



P.S. I can PM you some videos to help you figure things out

Post: #40

[quote='Mayweather' pid='1470538' dateline='1482518617']

Quote:All the power that women have is the power we give them. The likes we give them, the IG comments we give them, the stares, the double/triple/quadruple texts. All from us.

That is solid gold Mayweather. Internalizing that single concept is the path to success. I feel that applies to a lot more than just women...

Post: #41

(12-16-2016 10:03 AM)wonderer1 Wrote:  4. she does not know what she wants

Most women say they want one thing and do another anyway. You always have to go deeper than trying to get them to declare what they want.

Post: #42

35 days no contact. shes reached out once to say happy new year and asked why i hadnt spoke to her, also said I shouldnt be a bastard by not replying. I didnt.

I was spinning another plate but shes gone now. I still think about the ex. I need to spin more plates.

Post: #43

(12-04-2016 06:30 PM)philosophical_recovery Wrote:  

(12-04-2016 05:53 PM)wonderer1 Wrote:  Update -

She uploaded the picture of the flowers to her social media earlier, she deleted it, shes now re-uploaded the picture of her and the guy. I dont follow her on that social media

Stop doing that to her social media and fill your time with something else. Hopefully something productive.

Girls love Facebook because they can use it to publicly shit on you, and you can't say anything about it without admitting that you cyberstalked them. If it weren't for Facebook, if she wanted to shit on you, she would have to be the one to reach out to you, thereby showing that SHE is the one still thinking about YOU (rather than the other way around).

What's really great is when girls use Facebook to shit on you; then all their friends, relatives, orbiters, etc. pile on; and then they want to re-invite you into that social circle.

Facebook brings out the worst in women, as they use it as a rather effective tool for humiliating and mindfucking men.