Post: #26

@JBPoqueliche , sounds like you may be in love with "mother Russia"

Post: #27

Awesome thread JB, getting me excited about Russia next year. +1 from me. It makes me think I need to go back to having pics in my stories as well. The pictures really help bring the story to life. Keep it up.

Post: #28

(10-09-2016 10:10 AM)20Nation Wrote:  Awesome thread JB, getting me excited about Russia next year. +1 from me. It makes me think I need to go back to having pics in my stories as well. The pictures really help bring the story to life. Keep it up.

@20Nation, I checked out your blog and it looks like you might be in the neighboring country of Lithuanian now. What are your experiences there so far?

Post: #29

(10-09-2016 06:47 PM)TripleG Wrote:  

(10-09-2016 10:10 AM)20Nation Wrote:  Awesome thread JB, getting me excited about Russia next year. +1 from me. It makes me think I need to go back to having pics in my stories as well. The pictures really help bring the story to life. Keep it up.

@20Nation, I checked out your blog and it looks like you might be in the neighboring country of Lithuanian now. What are your experiences there so far?

Yeah I was there for a week. I'll write about it in the next few weeks. Maybe it was because I've been living in Ukraine, but I was disappointed. Girls seem a lot sluttier, but i didn't like it nearly as much as I thought I would.

Post: #30

@20Nation Cheers man. Will post more. Been gone for a while. Soon another thread should follow about a Colombian raid.

@TripleG Much apreesh, man

All right here we go.

Post: #31

Day 6

Woke up with a smile from ear to ear. Banging this girl put my mind at ease. Trip was coming to an end and the pressure was there.

She was sweet, well-spoken and could not stop touching my dick in the morning. The perfect guest.

Things would fuck up soon.

My mate woke up and told me that his male cousin would come around and visit for a few days, maybe staying in our flat. I did not mind as he was family. I had no right to say anything. Wingman warned me "He is a bit of a villager". That was not an understatement.

Fat but with broad shoulders and a thick neck as they only do them in the Caucasus,it was the archetype of the cousin that everyone is ashamed of. Dark haired, dark skined, sleepy eyes and features that are a dead give away that he is not a Slav. The characteristics that makes girl disapear magically in FSU.

Not an ounce of game, rude and obnoxious. Spits everywhere. Apparently he works at night in Moscow in a towel-packing factory. This will be fun.

We had a double date planned with my wingman, my blue dress and her friend. Sold the idea of making french food at our place. Village boy insisted on me asking them to bring an extra friend, which I did not do, fuck him.

My wingman also had a girl coming for him from Moscow after the potential dinner date. Did not bang her but came close and he would work on that.

Blue dress and her mate flaked so I left the apartment to the wing while i had to hang out with Village Boy. A fucking nightmare so I left him at the uncle's house while I went for a long run.

Came back at the uncle's HQ waiting for my mate to finish. While we waited with Village Boy, a small sign gave away his absolute cunty nature. The uncle has a small York. I hate those little shits but this one was not mine, was quiet and slept most of the time.

Dog was asleep. Village boy comes close to it then tells me "JB, look, look!". Then he fucking wacked the dog on the head full force. The poor shit ran away in panic, crying and hitting the walls, Village Boy laughing out loud. That guy is a tool.

It was friday night, probably one of the best and only nights to score in the town's main club, the Пряник (Prianik). I was eager for my wing to wrap it up so we could hit the town in style. His girl arrived at 20.00. The clock strikes 21.00, 22.00, 23.00, 00.00. Being in touch with him, he confirms that he has still not banged her and s still tallking his way in.

I start getting impatient. The uncle keeps giving us shots of cognac and took us out back to shoot a few pistol rounds at a tin can. Pretty drunk and at 20 meters, still managed to hit the can, so I am happy. It became really hard when we tried to shoot a standing cigarette at the same distance. None touched it.

The uncle's awesomeness, hospitality and good mood make up a bit for Village Boy's stupidity and my wing's slowness.

Against common sense, I decide to hit the Prianiik (prestige club) with the Village Boy.

We can't get changed at the appartment so headed for the club, smelling like shit anyway. I had a shirt and leather shoes on so no worries.

Taxi reaches destination, we get in. Some slender girls wave at me as they pass us in the queue, giggling and saying "Je t'aime". Can't remember them, Maybe I approached them while a bit tipsy.

Leave our jackets and OF COURSE, Caucasus Village Boy and his trainers are refused by the security. "Go and get changed then come back" they said. Village Boy starts swearing and reducing his changes of being accepted at all, I take him away. I am fuming but not surprised. If I were one of the bouncers, I won't let that knob in either.

We lost an hour. It's 2.30. We rock up at our flat. Wingman just got inside her. I am inches away of torching the place. Tells me to go back to the club and that he will join us there. We get changed, take the taxi for the second time. Get in teh club. Of course, girls are gone, it's a sausage fest with the last Chechens trying to score the fat birds that linger on the dance floor.

Wing rocks up. I calmed down a bit. Propose to bounce to the place where I met my girl. My wing jokes around on the way. Mood is better. All of us are now well dressed.

3.30. We arrive at this place, the "Miod" (honey), I hear the crowd and the girls squealing inside.

I felt what a shark must feel when he detects a drop of blood in the water. Last chance. I am fired up. The Village boy is especially loud and makes a spectacle of himself.

We empty our pockets to pass the metal detector. The bouncers refuse the Village Boy and put us in the same bag. No Honey for us.

Our Redneck boy asks why. "Face control" which means"You smell trouble a mile away, you mountain goat. You can get stuffed."

My wing (from the Caucasus as well but not as obvious or stereotypical)and I got in the night before so it's the village boy's fault again. Nowhere else is open. I am silent and bitter. That cunt single handedly turned a good night into a fucking nightmare. Jaded, I reach home and process to get drunk on excellent ice-cold vodka ("Belaia Beryoza" white birch. Strongly recommend). Wing goes back for round 2 with his girl.

Village boy asks if he can share the couch/bed with me. One look at my drunk angry face gives him a quick answer.

Post: #32

Day 7

Forgot to drink water before going to bed and I woke up with a hangover from the 7th circle of hell.

Dressed up and went for a walk, trying to freshen up the mind.

I am still angry from the previous night's fiasco. Get in touch with my wing and we have a small walk.

We talk from one man to another, with no bullshit. I explain how leaving me with that village cunt was not cool. He understands, tell me he will kick him out of the appartment for tonight and say he will make it up to me. We shake hands. That's it.

Lunch and delicious, strong coffee at the uncle's joint. He is really an authority. Former wrestler, with a belly like an air balloon and a heart even bigger. His wife is pretty, friendly and half is age. She cooks like a chef.

We take the 4X4 then head for the countryside to visit Leo Tolstoi's house in Yasnaya Polyana.

   

The old man must have felt great here. The city life was turning him mad and he decided to leave, stay in the wild and farm the land, renouncing his money and copyright royalties.

I can understand him on that. I hate the metropolis. People are weak. The city is an evil force that sucks people in and weakens them.

   

The long walk around the estate gave me some new energy.

   

I passed by the mausoleum of Leo, stayed with the old man for a bit then walked on.

On the way back, we took some pics near the monuments of the Heroes of the Great Patriotic War on Tula's Square.

   

I was in touch with my blonde and she was keen to meet up. She worked as a waitress in a local karaoke restaurant so she invited us over. We had a great time, eating smoked herring and some awesome russian pickles.

People all around were having a good time and merrily drinking vodka. We sang some french songs and the girls from the next table came to chat a bit and compliment us. They were nicely dressed but were not extremely pretty.

We went out for a smoke. Two guys came out, drunk as hell. Shortly followed by two other drunk guys yelling and hurling insults at them, one with a vodka bottle in hand. I was calm and just stabilised my body on my two feet, ready if one entered my space.

The two last guys started throwing punches very clumsily with the whole body weight and striking with the sides of their clenched fist. The two first guys just curled in standing balls and hardly fought back.

One was knocked to the floor and got kicked a bit. Mainly the ribs, nothing crazy. The second backed off while the two last guys threatened him with a bottle, still yelling and following him towards an adjacent street.

None of my business. We finished our cigarettes then went in. A few minutes later, we saw the two first guys with barely a scratch, drunkenly getting a report from the cops that were passing by.

   

I was somehow glad than none of them got stabbed by a broken bottle or laid somewhere in a pool of blood.

From what I heard, the argument started from one of them jumping the queue at the cloak room. The cops were basically telling them "Lads, you are smashed. They are far away now. You lost, go sleep it off".

Sang one more Joe Dassin song. The couples of the room started slow dancing to our rythm. An old dude with a beaming smile shook our hand and thanked us a lot for singing this classic from his youth.

My girl finished her shift and told me she would get changed and come back.

She took a taxi and came an hour and a half later, dressed like she was going to the club. Nice white skirt, high black boots, she really looked good.

   

We came back, had a bottle of wine then banged like animals. Fucked her even harder. Now the blood was on every square inch of the sheets. I felt relaxed and got some well needed sleep.

She left the next morning and I spent an hour cleaning the blood stains wit hot water and baking soda.

Post: #33

Day 8

Sunday. It's the uncle's birthday. He rented a datcha outside of town for the day. An awesome spot with sauna, pool table, all wooden. Great stuff. We also made shashliks and they had the whole night to marinate. Was truly looking forward to it.

I did a NYE in such a house a while back in the Balkans and it was probably one of the best parties I ever had.

My blonde sent me a text, asked if she did not hurt me, as she left me claw marks on the back when she climaxed. Almost healed already.

We meet the uncle. I give him a bottle of Armenian cognac as a present while the boys gave him a hunting knife. Really cool tool. It looked like one of those Finnish hunting knifes with an eagle head as a pommel. He left it in the car boot (important element for the future)

We drive to the dacha, eat a snack then shoot some pool. Some guests came over and the men call us outside while the girls prepare the salad inside. The wind is chilling and winter is almost here.

   

Because Russia with no leather jackets is not Russia.

   

We put the veggies and skewers (as long as swords) on the mangal (open fire charcoal grill). The smell is amazing. It is soon ready.

   

We pour a shot of ice cold vodka, pour a bit on the floor for the ones that left us then give the first share of meat to the host and guests.

   

Frozen vodka like that is like honey. We drink some more and toast to the health of the uncle.

   
The meat ready, we throw a whole trout on the coals. It is quickly done and we rush inside near the heat of the hearth. The feast is ready.

I have never tasted skewers like that in my life. The company is amazing. We joke away, sing traditional songs while drinking cognac and sharing precious moments. Fuck clubs, fuck table service, fuck the bass and the bottle rats. This is where it is at.

We keep drinking then go to the sauna for 30 minutes, to sweat the booze and drink some more. We sweat heavy drops and alternate with the pool of ice cold water. Best feeling of all. Go back upstairs and repeat.

Flash forward 5 hours. My wing and I are drunk like skunks. We get too deep in our convo like everytime we get drunk. What I did not know is that a few days before his heart stopped working, his dad died. The mother saw the whole male branch of the family almost wiped out.

He stayed a few days between life and death. Doctors were pessimistic and his mom called the Orthodox priest to come to his hospital bed, to give him the unction in case he would not make it.

Then a new heart was available and he survived the transplant. Lost 20 kilos. Came back on top. Now feels like he was given a second chance and blesses every day he sees the sun.

Powerful shit.

   

We danced drunk with one of the small children of the assembly then hit the hay.

Post: #34

Awesome report JB. It reminds me of my own forays into provincial Russia back in '09 and '13. A trip back is well overdue. Russia is the big granddaddy of them all. Unpredictable, warm, enchanting, violent and friendships made that will last a life time. Only the hardened dare venture beyond the MKAD. I'm glad I did.

Fuck Kiev.

Post: #35

Day 9

Woke up after an hour of sleep. We are still quite drunk and we need to drive back to our crib.

As we are about to reach destination, we see a barrage of cops from the ДПС (traffic polices) The wing is still smashed on the wheel. If we get caught with my French passport, there might be trouble.

We get closer and closer. Finally they signal us to carry on and decide to search and breathalise the car in front of us. Lucky.

Crash home for a bit. Quick nap, then last meal of the apostles. The uncle gives me a liter bottle of Beluga (prestige vodka) as a gift. We drive back to Moscow in the evening, our luggage chocker full with salty cheese and tasty stuff.

As we reach Moscow's outskirts around 3 in the morning, the ДПС stops us for real this time, noticing the 4X4 late a night with darkened windows and two Caucasus dudes at the front.

The cop declines his rank and name then asks me if I have any weapons or drugs. Answer by the negative, making sure to hide my accent and call him "Komandir" (commander) as I have seen in Russian movies.

He searches my bags and every single crumpled paper in my pockets. Then searches the boot. This is now that I remember that the uncle has the hunting knife stashed there. Cops find it plus another knife.

They lecture the uncle that he can kill someone with that and that he should be stored in a box at home. Uncle just smiles and says that there should not be so much fuss for that kind of toothpick.

They let us got bribe free. They leave me at the airport and I proceed to sleep a bit in the lobby until the metro station opens.

Post: #36

Day 10

Leave the airport for a very long ride and find the hostel that I booked where I will spend my last night.

   

I notice that the hostel is really close to the Central Сynagogue of Moscow. Jews come and go under the eye of the ОМОН (the riot police) that have two KAMAZ (love that name don't know why) vans always parked here, to deter Russian guys from throwing molotov cocktails on the building or beating up the Jews that come out after prayer.

   

   

I observe that as soon as the Jews come out, they remove their kippah and prayer scarf, scurry away from the entrance, in fear of being targetted.

I also notice a lot of African guys doing the sandwich men and advertising cellphone shops. It is a weird picture in central Moscow.

   

Arrive and I am greeted by a bald, spectacled, effeminate man that takes my card details. I can only describe him as a skinnier version of Mister Garrison from South Park.

I am completely out of cash except a few measly roubles and I can only pay by card. Very bad idea as the following events will show.

His body language, weakness and features smell of treachery. Swipes my card first then points at a sign saying that to stay I have to pay a fee of 800 roubles (11 euros) for "foreigner visa registration". A scam abviously.

Not a lot but I hate when they try to take me for a ride.

Then he passes me a badly printed booklet in 10 languages, just a copy paste of long line of small characters, legal text to prevent the foreign pigeons from asking too much questions.

I can only imagine how they swindle the polite Chinese and Japanese students that never want to cause a fuss.

Call my wing and put Mr Garrison on the phone. Hear him speaking slowly but loudly and Garrison lets me in without paying the toll. I am knackered and just crash for a few hours.

I am woken up by Garrison who starts writhing his hands in the fear of getting slapped, seeing my groggy, surly look as if he just opened my sarcophagus.

If you send subconsciously the image of danger, your whole life will change.

"I am so sorry, Mr JB, your card has been blocked." So here I am, 100 roubles left in my pocket with no card working. No worries I just bullshit a bit and he lets me go.

Pasta tonight.

Did not know it yet but my card data had been stolen form an ATM a day earlier. Get a call from the bank telling me they are weird withdrawals on my card. They tell me the amount, sounds about right.

Ask them to confirm it was in russia. Long silence then confirmation. OK Thanks, some glitch no doubt.

Get a lot of tinder matches compared to Tula, with girls that answer almost instantly.

I get an expert friend of mine on the phone who clearly confirms that teh foreign visa registration can be done for free at the local police stations.

Just be careful if you venture in Russia for more than 4 days, maybe you should register with every cop station around, which I did not do.

Never withdraw money from street ATM's, always in banks even if there is a little fee.

Post: #37

Day 10 bis

That afternoon I walk around Moscow to see the awesome monuments like the Kreml, St Basil's Cathedral and its colourful cupolas.

   

The red remparts and the eternal fire burning for the soldiers that died during the Great patriotic war of 1941-1945

   

   

Unfortunately, Lenin's mausoleum was closed that day.

   

I pass near the Gostini Dvor where Bentleys and black SUVs are parked with their muscular chauffeurs. White haired men come out of the cars with their golden Rolex, broken teeth and prison finger tattoos.

I swim in a scene of "Eastern Promises"

I really notice that poor and average Russian guys do look like shit and don't make efforts. The contrast is incredible with their women.

   
Military Museum

I pass around the Military Museum and two smiley girls with a camera interview me for their university project. They ask me about Russian films and if I have seen any.

I speak about the few I saw in Russian and they seem impressed. Try to extract them for a coffee but they have more shooting to do. Once again, the one that stays here for one month + would be the king.

   

   
Plaque to commemorate the victory of Saint Alexander Nevski against the Swedes and other Northerners

   
Comrade Lenin doing some Day Game.

Finished my tour then headed home at night time as the winter wind was rising.

Amazing city. Got some sleep and get to the airport.

I get in touch and one fellow RVF member sheds some light on the registration scam. He tells me to be careful as one day he remained stuck in Minsk on his way home because he did not do such registration.

He was lucky to have met a cop that liked to talk about MMA. They bonded and the cop forced the next bus driver to take him.

Apparently, that could result in a huge fine. Ideal for someone in a hurry, with no card and enough cash to buy half a rabbit's dick.

I rehearsed an explanation for the passeport control and notice that in my line (the one for foreigners, 6 mean lookig cops are waiting and taking 3 small Vietnamese travellers in a room, before sitting them down and asking them a lot of questions. The Viets look terrified.

I switch lines to take the Russian one. The custom girl tells me it's Russian citizens line. I explain with a smile that I was mistaken and seeing that I am already here, if she could work her magic and make me pass.

She smiles, stamps the passport and back home we go.

Here ends my Russian raid.

Post: #38

Epilogue & datasheet

Lads, I am overall very satisfied about my trip. Really unpredictable and sometimes with bits of brutal reality. One girl in 10 days. Could be better but I did not come back with my dick under my arm.

Met amazing people and had really the impression of being on another planet.

Datasheet:


Things to do in tula:

- The Weapons Museum (awesome and needs at least 3 or 4 hours)
- Tolstoi's House in Yasnaya Poliana (really relaxing atmosphere, worth the short trip)
- Tulski Kreml (fortifications)
- Eat ginger bread, it's the local speciality and Armenian salted strin cheese ("chechil")
- Eat at the Hinkalnia near the Kreml, some Georgian dumplings (khinkali)
- Shoot some AK's

Day game spots:

- Prospekt Lenina
- Ulitsa Sovietskaya
- Tula's uni district
- Shopping center Gostini Dvor

Night game spots

- Prianik : (last floor of Gostini Dvor) amazing, high standard club. reasonable prices for foreigners. Cool karaoke room to chill. The highest SMV girls are there. No girls dance with men. Direct approaches don't work too well. Try the balcony for some cigarette game. Saturdays much beter than Fridays.

- Miod : only spot with a bit, really a bit, of life from Wednesday. Bit more relaxed atmosphere. Hit or miss. Did not see how it was on weekends

- Hardy Bar: Did not go there but heard it was good on the weekend and more of a bar than a club where girls are friendly. But bouncers are dumb as shit so avoid if you don't look Russian


Final recommandations

- If you want legions of Russian girls that like foreigners and might consider one night stands, avoid Tula. Sleepy town all week. Try Moscow or Saint Petersburg instead.

- Weather gets very rainy from September to April

- If you don't speak Russian at an advanced/intermediate level, you're done. With everyone and girls in particular.

- Tinder is not popular in Tula. Forget it. Don't know about Instagram

- I can't stress this enough. DO NOT go out alone at night if you look foreign. It is asking for being robbed or attacked. Many areas in tula have no public lighting
No probs if with locals. .

- Bring dollars in cash. Its the second currency used here and you can buy anything with dollars.

- Russians notions of politeness is different. I rarely here Thank you coming from clerks and sometimes no hello. People will come to you and tell you "Give cigarette" that's the way it is. No thank you and no please. you'll get used to it

- Be extremely careful about ATM's (only withdraw from inside a bank): Got my data stolen. Cunts withdrew 600 USD in Denpasar, Indonesia. Cunty bank clerks back home did not tick as they saw a foreign name on the transaction and thought Denpasar was in Russia.

- Get an apartment near Gostini Dvor

And here we go again...

Stay tuned as in a week and a half, starts my 20 day Colombian raid: /thread-59135.html