Post: #1

Forgive me for the naivety, I'm still learning.

Anyways, I've met this cute girl maybe four times through my roommate. She seems pretty interested. I've never properly asked anyone on a date before so I'm not sure how it works.

What's the best way to do this without tainting your social circle...would a straight up text saying, "hey it's gyro, let's grab lunch sometime this week?" be good or is it far too direct far too fast? Should I ask in person?

Thanks for helping in advance.

Post: #2

I think it would also help to know how you got her digits (or whatever the hell the kids use these days.) Did you ask (and if so how did it go down), did she proactively give them to you, did you get her contact info through your roommate or her friends, did you hunt her down on IG, did you friend request her on FB, etc.

Important details

Where I'm going with this is that if you number closed her I think hitting her up for a meet via text is fine, but if you're just sitting on her FB friends list with everyone else I wouldn't hit her up that way out of the blue, since that's what everyone else is doing, I'd probably prefer to put my bid in in person.

Post: #3

I got her number like two weeks ago, I told her I would hit her up to come with me to a football game the following day. She was pretty enthusiastic/no defense on the number close. I ended up being really busy the next day, so I sat on the number till now. I saw her yesterday and we vibes pretty well, hence this thread.

Is it too late at this point?

Post: #4

Rule number one: do not use the word "date."

It's "hang out." You aren't asking her "out." You are "hanging out."

Your purpose is to isolate her to somewhere that enough comfort can be built that you can smoothly transition into increasing sexualization and an eventual bang.

The best way to make sure that this never happens is to scare her off by using serious words like "date."

Rule of thumb: a woman with a sexual history involving three or more partners will not be able to not have sex if she is in a sexual situation with a man who meets a certain level of sexual attractiveness.

Assuming that you are attractive enough for her to sleep with you, your only job is to isolate, build an appropriate level of attraction and then make the move physically by escalating to penis in vagina.

The best way to make this happen is by pre-seeding with some friendly conversation about interests and once she shows interest in a certain area (such as cooking), you can follow it up by suggesting that the two of you get together to do the thing that interests both of you.

With friends circle game, I'd avoid a more traditional date like lunch or anything formal at all. Just "hang out" at your place.

Post: #5

(09-27-2016 11:18 AM)Suits Wrote:  Rule number one: do not use the word "date."

It's "hang out." You aren't asking her "out." You are "hanging out."

Your purpose is to isolate her to somewhere that enough comfort can be built that you can smoothly transition into increasing sexualization and an eventual bang.

I agree with this. Even an in person pitch shouldn't be like "Hey would you like to go on a date on Saturday."

Via whatever method, the purpose of the pitch is simply to come to an agreement that you are both going to be somewhere physically at the same time, where the whole social circle isn't going to be breathing down your neck, and you can isolate to move things along. So long as there are logistics set up to bounce somewhere the bang can go down, the actual nature of this physical location doesn't matter so much. Park bench, science museum, whatever, it's worked for me.

Post: #6

You should make a move so subtly that when the girl is not interested she can shoot you down equally subtly.

– Give the girl you like more attention in group conversations, engage her more in any kind of way. It could be some flattering words, could be some teasing, could making fun of her, could be appreciating something about her, spending more time together, whatever. Point is that attention by itself IS your signal that you’re into her. She will get it. Other girls will get it too. That’s how they recognize what’s going on, that’s how you let her know you like her.

– Flirt in between normal conversation to avoid being viewed as classic friend. She should feel you have some intentions towards her.

– Talk one on one with that girl more than with the others, have deeper conversations in private. Build connection.

– Share same hobbies, be in the same team at work/school, go to the same places, find ways to be together more often. Use any excuse you can.

The whole point of this is to give a girl chance to meet you and also give a choice to dismiss you in very quiet and polite way (usually by excusing herself from the situation) so there is no “story” about you. Nobody notices. Nobody gossips about you. Sure she can tell her friends that you made a move, that’s fine, but she won’t have reasons to talk shit about you behind your back.

Notice that usually when 2 people within the same circle are attracted to each other and start fooling around they keep it secret. Even though others can sense that something is going on between them both but the way they talk to each other is still vague enough that it’s not clear whether they’re dating or not yet. Then few weeks later, after they’ve been on few dates together they hand out with friends holding each other hands as now they are ready to show it. That’s how things go down usually. That’s the classic route. If you want to go on a date with a girl you know then this is how you do it.

That's the safe way.

The risky way is when you hit on her in obvious way. When you try to express your romantic interest in a very obvious way out of the blue or you start hitting on a girl with your/her friends around. That’s bad. That draws too much attention to the fact that you’re interested in her and you put you and her on the spot. What’s even worse is that you have no idea whether she’s even slightly interested in you or not in the first place. That’s too much pressure from the get go. Not good.

That's the classic route. The next level is to become that popular flirty social butterfly fun guy that girls like but don't treat too seriously -> https://goo.gl/nCTYQO

Post: #7

I wish this thread was made a few months ago. I missed out on ALOT of opportunities for this because I wasn't sure how to approach the situation.

Post: #8

(09-27-2016 10:17 AM)Gyro Wrote:  Forgive me for the naivety, I'm still learning.

Anyways, I've met this cute girl maybe four times through my roommate. She seems pretty interested. I've never properly asked anyone on a date before so I'm not sure how it works.

What's the best way to do this without tainting your social circle...would a straight up text saying, "hey it's gyro, let's grab lunch sometime this week?" be good or is it far too direct far too fast? Should I ask in person?

Thanks for helping in advance.

No. If i take your statement that she seems interested at face value then your approach is the best. However I'd make it a coffee, at a time a bit more suitable to any possible same day pull (late afternoon after work/classes are over), and suggest a specific time.

instead of "let's grab lunch sometime this week", say 'let's meet up for a coffee after class/work Thursday."

If she likes you she's either going to say yes or propose an alternate time/date(which you should accept if given). Then just meet her and focus on learning everything you can about her and ask good questions. Don't act like an interrogater but also try to lead the conversation so that she does more talking than you do. It goes particularly well then you suggest going back to your place (for a purpose, showing her something your into or watch a show you talked about) and you know what to do from there.