Post: #1

I have been going out consistently since October last year, approached about 800 girls, gotten 70ish numbers, been on 10 dates + some 5-6 instant dates, gotten laid once, got a *near* lay once, and got a make out once.

When I started out, small successes would make me excited and I felt that I was always improving. Getting phone numbers, going on instant dates, or even cold approaching and having a good 10-minute long interaction were all new to me, so I felt good about doing it.

Then I got laid from a cold approach early July this year. It made me feel like a king for a week. But soon things turned to shit. I started setting a higher bar for myself and phone numbers and instant dates stopped making me feel good.

Now every time I go out I want to see signs that I am improving and failing to see that in the last two months I feel kind of lost.

Not sure exactly how anyone of you will help me without knowing me or meeting me in person, but I will write down some details about me. If anyone has any suggestions or would be up for meeting/doing a Skype call with me that will be much appreciated.


Details:

I turned 30 two weeks ago, live in Toronto, am 5'10", on the skinny side (that's a whole different story... I've been lifting weights consistently for about 2.5 yrs now... have seen some results but they aren't too impressive). I grew up in India, moved to Canada about 7-8 yrs ago, and have a *slight* Indian accent. I look avg and I have been working on my fashion for a while and dress reasonably well now. All of this is based on feedback I've got from others.

I do mostly daygame. Out of the 800 approaches mentioned above, around 200 were in nightclubs and bars and 600 on the streets and malls in the day time. This is roughly what happens when I approach:

20% of the times the girl will just say "I am in a rush" or "I am busy" and keep walking. Or perhaps entertain me for 1-2 sentences and then leave.

70% of the times I will have a longer interaction. She will stay for a bit, chat with me, then say she has a boyfriend or make some other excuse for not giving me her number.

Less than 10% of the times she will give me her number but most of those numbers don't lead to anything. I think around 70% of the numbers I get don't even reply to the first text and 30% just fizzle out after a few texts.

I have an incredibly hard time getting a girl out on a date. A lot of the dates that I do end up having are just spur-of-the-moment dates, i.e., I will approach a girl, go for a quick instant date, and then bounce her to a proper date to a bar.

I don't think I have learnt a lot of "game" skills so far. The only skill that I *have* learned are:
1) Being comfortable approaching.
2) Teasing her.
3) Passing shit tests.

There are things I could potentially work on, such as:
1) Smile more.
2) Speak louder.
3) Eliminate accent.
4) Show more emotions. Many people that know me in real life have said I have a "robotic" demeanour.
5) Persist more.

But I can't figure out what exactly it is right now that's stopping me from getting the results I want. Inner game-wise nothing much has changed from the past. I have always felt like I am an awesome person who sucks with women and I still feel the same. In every aspect of life other than game I feel confident, but when I approach a girl my default mindset is that she is not attracted to me.

Let me know if you have any more questions.

Post: #2

I don't have any particular advice right at the moment, but as a guy living in Boston which has a "culture" very similar to Toronto, I can certainly understand your frustration. I think the Bay, DC, Toronto, Boston, cities like that have a "hard mode" reputation for a reason. At the end of the day, I think the cold approach in these places will keep getting more difficult. Social circle is probably king.

Quote:Less than 10% of the times she will give me her number but most of those numbers don't lead to anything. I think around 70% of the numbers I get don't even reply to the first text and 30% just fizzle out after a few texts.

Unfortunately, your real-world approach results seem fairly congruent with mine, a guy in a different age group, likely of a different race, probably with a totally different life experience, look, and personality than you, so take that for what it's worth. I've come to realize that quickly taken #'s don't mean much of anything. Pulling the girl will require much more screening, persistence and work over a longer period of time.

For my part I wouldn't worry too hard on "improving" your already slight accent for chicks. Do it if you want to for you, not them. Besides, accents are cool. That should work as a feature, not a bug.

I like to think of it as training with a weighted bat, though. Let's stay hopeful for the future! 30 is a great age to be.

Post: #3

XPQ is right about the accent. I would only say you would need to improve if you didn't speak English very well. That would cause a communication problem. Having an accent for you gives you an edge. It makes you more exotic and it's an easy way to get a girl invested in you. She can ask you a question about your accent, and you can tell her where it's from and give a spiel of some interesting or different things about your country.

Post: #4

I'm sure there's a lot we could fix on the technical side. My rough diagnosis is that you aren't generating enough attraction to make the phone's solid. The fact that you are going for and getting instadates is a good sign. But those instadates need probably need work in order to get her to invest more and like you more.

And just recognize that being an Indian guy with a slight accent means that your interaction has to be much tighter than a guy in her same demographic.

Short guys, obese guys, us black guys, foreigners - the women we interact with often have a dream guy in their minds - and we just don't fit that image. In my demographic, the chicks all want these dark chocolate, 6'5", muscular, super rich, corporate types. They want someone they can show off to their friends, post on instagram, bring home to their mothers, etc. It's like being the human male equivalent to a pair of Christian Louboutins.

So some of the game is making her feel like she's talking to Anil the Annihilator or Anil the Mystic but she's talking to Anil who looks like an Accountant.

But before we get all "game geek" on you -

Do you enjoy talking to strangers?

When guys don't, they come off robotic.

And if you're always angling for something, it's hard to not sub-communicate that to the girl. "This guy wants something from me, and it's creeping me out"

Fixing that part will get you to the next level.

WIA

Post: #5

Here's a thing I did when I was first starting out. I became a regular at a local Starbucks. I went there initially because I liked the tea, and they had free fast WiFi (I'm self-employed.) But I noticed that the staff was a regular rotation of local college girls.

I didn't really try to run game on them...service industry workers are the most difficult to game as they're trained to be friendly. And I don't shit where I eat. But I just came in as a regular and chatted with them. Kept doing it until these girls would actively seek me out on their lunch breaks to chill with. It wasn't for tips - I never tipped them. I just endeavored to be the guy they looked forward to coming in in the morning, the guy who always had an interesting story, the guy who when I was away for two weeks and came back they'd ask "Hey, what trouble have you been getting yourself into? ; )" Let them "friend zone" me, whatever.

The goal: become completely comfortable just interacting with women.

Post: #6

Join SA and pretend to be an investment banker or something that is congruent with your personality and lifestyle (check the SA game thread). From that site you can get as many first dates as you can handle. Most of them will not be successful but it's a good way to get enough dating experience under your belt that you should be more comfortable talking to women in general.

Post: #7

Maybe you're just codeine crazy

Post: #8

(09-03-2016 04:38 PM)King of Monkeys Wrote:  XPQ is right about the accent. I would only say you would need to improve if you didn't speak English very well. That would cause a communication problem. Having an accent for you gives you an edge. It makes you more exotic and it's an easy way to get a girl invested in you. She can ask you a question about your accent, and you can tell her where it's from and give a spiel of some interesting or different things about your country.

There is no way that in Canada an Indian accent would give you an edge or advantage of any kind.

You'd benefit from meeting up with some local RVF'ers in Toronto, go out with them and then can help you, boots on the ground.

Post: #9

(09-03-2016 05:27 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  I'm sure there's a lot we could fix on the technical side.

Nice. I love the optimism.

Quote:And just recognize that being an Indian guy with a slight accent means that your interaction has to be much tighter than a guy in her same demographic.

Do you think eliminating the accent will help?

Quote:But before we get all "game geek" on you -

Do you enjoy talking to strangers?

I'd say I'm neutral about it. If the stranger looks worth talking to, then yes I do enjoy it. Not sure if this answers your question. Anyway, feel free to get game geek on me though.

(09-04-2016 01:26 AM)Sidney Crosby Wrote:  There is no way that in Canada an Indian accent would give you an edge or advantage of any kind.

You're right. I've never had a girl express any signs of attraction right after finding out where my accent is from. But my accent is at a point where about 70% of the girls from non-English speaking countries think it's American. And my success rate (in terms of phone numbers and dates) seems to be higher with girls from non-English speaking countries. Wonder if that's related.

I do remember once a girl at a nightclub to be strangely attracted to my accent, but it was because she'd thought it was British.

Quote:You'd benefit from meeting up with some local RVF'ers in Toronto, go out with them and then can help you, boots on the ground.

Yes, I was hoping one of them would see this thread!

Post: #10

I would say you can focus on three things: Looks - improve your face/facial hair/hairstyle or clothing/accessories (edgy piercings/tattoos)

Communication style - verbal communication and smiling/friendly non-verbal things such as walking confidently and making eye contact.

Here's the biggest thing with forming a relationship (dating) and long-term attraction -- Lifestyle Game

A girl wants to be attracted to your Lifestyle (and the long-term experience of hanging around you).

Some girls like foreign guys and a foreign lifestyle (foreign culture/language/food).
But realistically, most westernized(white) girls want someone with a westernized lifestyle.
If you're a hippie/skater dude then you're going to attract girls who are into punk guys/toking hippie stuff/artsy stuff.
If you're catholic, then you have a better chance at dating/marrying all those catholic girls.
If you're rich, then some girls like flashy rich guys that have nice cars and go to nice dinners.
If you're atheist then you'll attract the artsy/liberal/goth girls.

Basically, your lifestyle determines what type of girls will be attracted to you. In turn, your inner confidence will grow because you know those are the type of girls that want you and want to have a relationship with you. Determine what type of girl you want to date, and figure out what types of things she likes, and think if you have compatible lifestyles and personalities. If she prefers a certain type of guy, then you might need to slightly change your lifestyle to gain her attraction.

Post: #11

(09-04-2016 09:28 AM)future Wrote:  You're right. I've never had a girl express any signs of attraction right after finding out where my accent is from. But my accent is at a point where about 70% of the girls from non-English speaking countries think it's American. And my success rate (in terms of phone numbers and dates) seems to be higher with girls from non-English speaking countries. Wonder if that's related.

I do remember once a girl at a nightclub to be strangely attracted to my accent, but it was because she'd thought it was British.

Maybe you should try to speak with a slight British accent and turn yourself into a positive stereotype. Give it a try for a few weeks and see if it improves your game.

Also, you should focus more on social events and social circle. If you are just doing street approaches, it is too short a time period. A lot of western people are uncomfortable at first around foreigners. It may take several days for some people to get comfortable and enjoy being around you and understanding your culture. They just might not know many people from your country and it takes time to learn and become friends.

At social events/parties/sports/classes there is less pressure on dating, and more mutual interest around a hobby, so people will spend more time getting to know someone platonically as friends first. There is less pressure to reject a person right away. It may take several hours or days for a girl to trust you and see a foreigner as a potential boyfriend.