Post: #1

Hello all.

Recently i push myself to approach girls. But it just doesnt happen. I sit and think about it and found out the reason. Before saying the reason, i would like to tell you some other things.

# i dont care what other people thinks if i approach.
# i dont care if she rejects me.
# i dont care if she wears bitch shield upon approach.


what i care is CONFLICT. i am afraid of conflict. This fear is one and only thing keeps me back. I just afraid if she just yells and bring attention to situation and things get worse after that. I just cant get over this fear guys. Yes, simply, i am afraid of pussy. It was hard to deal with the real reason behind my failure. And im telling this without regret. I am afraid of pussy.



Now, just tell me, how do you keep approach without fearing conflict?

Post: #2

Are you afraid of guys white knighting for her and beating you up? Or just of her yelling and shit?

Post: #3

(09-01-2016 01:30 PM)Red_Pillage Wrote:  Are you afraid of guys white knighting for her and beating you up? Or just of her yelling and shit?

If she yells, whiteknights are ready to jump in, as you know. I would say both.

Post: #4

I got punched in the face by a chick at a bar once. It wasn't from an approach, though. It was a friend of an ex girlfriend right after we split. She didn't connect well so I didn't even bruise. But I was about to swing back and then realized I was surrounded by white knights who were waiting for me to do just that. I didn't totally let it go, though. I hit her where it hurts by telling her she's a fat slut, that my ex would talk mad shit on her so she would feel stupid for acting violently on her behalf.

Anyway, don't worry about it man. Embrace that fear. It's highly unlikely that an approach will end in you getting your ass kicked as long as your not being a retard.

Post: #5

As someone who gets rejected lots, I can say it doesn't 'usually' get confrontational.....as in, a risk of getting slapped or getting into an argument.

Usually after I open, she'll just look at me like ''why are you talking to me?!'' sort of thing, and maybe ignore me or walk away. You kind of get used too it and it doesn't really hurt.

The closest i've got to an actual confrontation was about a month back when I approach a girl and said
''Hi! I like your hat''
and she was like ''thanks'',
and then about 2 seconds later, this girls female friend came over to me and said:
''Why are you talking to my friend? You don't know her. Leave her alone''

I replied something like
''Well nobody is talking to you, and i'm sure if she wants me to go away, she can tell me herself''

Then she carried on like
''Just walk away. What do you want?!!!''

Then I said ''Listen. You're not pretty enough to be this rude. Just F off''

Then she went ape-shit at me and tried to grab me and called me some names/insults/tried to hurt my feelings.

Then some white knight came over being all brave, but when I went to grab him by his neck, the bouncers intervened. Then I got a cab home!

Post: #6

Highly unlikely if that will happen. Unless perhaps if you go after Lindy West looking land whales which I doubt you will.

Most girls in a day game environment will avoid conflict. The most common rejection will be "I have a boyfriend" or "I'm sorry busy."

You have to face your fears in life head on and see what happens.

Do an experiment. Approach 10 girls in the next week and report back here how they responded.

Post: #7

(09-01-2016 01:48 PM)subterfuge Wrote:  Then she went ape-shit at me and tried to grab me and called me some names/insults/tried to hurt my feelings.

Then some white knight came over being all brave, but when I went to grab him by his neck, the bouncers intervened. Then I got a cab home!

Little Dark's son ?

Post: #8

(09-01-2016 02:09 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(09-01-2016 01:48 PM)subterfuge Wrote:  Then she went ape-shit at me and tried to grab me and called me some names/insults/tried to hurt my feelings.

Then some white knight came over being all brave, but when I went to grab him by his neck, the bouncers intervened. Then I got a cab home!

Little Dark's son ?

Little Dark told them all to go home. Sub got into a cab and told the driver to take him home.

Post: #9

Is this a common occurrence?

Are you giving off a creepy vibe?

What type of girls are you approaching?

Post: #10

(09-01-2016 01:27 PM)Euphoria Wrote:  Hello all.

Recently i push myself to approach girls. But it just doesnt happen. I sit and think about it and found out the reason. Before saying the reason, i would like to tell you some other things.

# i dont care what other people thinks if i approach.
# i dont care if she rejects me.
# i dont care if she wears bitch shield upon approach.


what i care is CONFLICT. i am afraid of conflict. This fear is one and only thing keeps me back. I just afraid if she just yells and bring attention to situation and things get worse after that. I just cant get over this fear guys. Yes, simply, i am afraid of pussy. It was hard to deal with the real reason behind my failure. And im telling this without regret. I am afraid of pussy.



Now, just tell me, how do you keep approach without fearing conflict?

Over time and approaches you will begin to see a trend. One is that 'pretty' girls will never give conflict. The second is that most girls are actually quite receptive to strange men. At least for a minute.

Again, time will also allow you to see 'your type', or a consistent type of girl that will usually be receptive and open.

I can almost guarantee you that no attractive woman would make a scene on the street.

However, you must screen somewhat, for things like:

- Short hair
- Quick mannerisms
- More than usual revealing clothing (unless they are Asian)
- Surrounded by girls much lower attractive level

In bars, many girls go out hoping for some kind of drama. If they are in groups of girls, drama has likely been simmering since they met up. Remember, women are hyper competitive. All it takes sometimes is an awkward approach to set them off.

I am not sure where you live, but I can almost say with certainty that you are not likely to ever have any major confrontation with a woman. Unless you start dumpster diving far below your worth. Chicks see right through that one.

Post: #11

Honestly man. You're more likely to get laid if a girl even feels emotion from you. Plenty of chicks who were mad during the approach ended up going home with me or my friends.

What you need to watch out for is apathy. If a girl humors you and her tone is that of one where you feel like a bug that needs to be swatted that affects/annoys me more, and that can be turned around with a well timed verbal parry(the kind that makes her majesty think "How dare you insect?") to change her emotional state so it's not too big of an issue. The key thing about a girl yelling at you or calling you a jackass is reframing it by teasing her about her outbursts.

It's all about frame at the end of the day.

Post: #12

(09-01-2016 03:07 PM)UlteriorMotive Wrote:  Is this a common occurrence?

Are you giving off a creepy vibe?

What type of girls are you approaching?

I havent approached yet. I did some approach back in day though. I am confident and cool, no problem about that. My vibe is okay. All i need is overcoming this fear. I feel like woman are waiting my approach to yell at me.

(09-01-2016 03:22 PM)Laner Wrote:  

(09-01-2016 01:27 PM)Euphoria Wrote:  

Over time and approaches you will begin to see a trend. One is that 'pretty' girls will never give conflict. The second is that most girls are actually quite receptive to strange men. At least for a minute.

Again, time will also allow you to see 'your type', or a consistent type of girl that will usually be receptive and open.

I can almost guarantee you that no attractive woman would make a scene on the street.

However, you must screen somewhat, for things like:

- Short hair
- Quick mannerisms
- More than usual revealing clothing (unless they are Asian)
- Surrounded by girls much lower attractive level

In bars, many girls go out hoping for some kind of drama. If they are in groups of girls, drama has likely been simmering since they met up. Remember, women are hyper competitive. All it takes sometimes is an awkward approach to set them off.

I am not sure where you live, but I can almost say with certainty that you are not likely to ever have any major confrontation with a woman. Unless you start dumpster diving far below your worth. Chicks see right through that one.

Yes i heard about it.. Prettier girls are nicer towards strangers. Luckily there is a girl locally. Which comes to park every evening with her sister. She just sits and draw things to book while her sister plays. She is Russian and cute. She is totally approachable, but thing is even she scares me off.

(09-01-2016 03:26 PM)Comte De St. Germain Wrote:  Honestly man. You're more likely to get laid if a girl even feels emotion from you. Plenty of chicks who were mad during the approach ended up going home with me or my friends.

What you need to watch out for is apathy. If a girl humors you and her tone is that of one where you feel like a bug that needs to be swatted that affects/annoys me more, and that can be turned around with a well timed verbal parry(the kind that makes her majesty think "How dare you insect?") to change her emotional state so it's not too big of an issue. The key thing about a girl yelling at you or calling you a jackass is reframing it by teasing her about her outbursts.

It's all about frame at the end of the day.

I am okay if i would succesfully approach and open her. Thing is , will she be receptive?

Post: #13

(09-01-2016 03:52 PM)Euphoria Wrote:  

(09-01-2016 03:26 PM)Comte De St. Germain Wrote:  Honestly man. You're more likely to get laid if a girl even feels emotion from you. Plenty of chicks who were mad during the approach ended up going home with me or my friends.

What you need to watch out for is apathy. If a girl humors you and her tone is that of one where you feel like a bug that needs to be swatted that affects/annoys me more, and that can be turned around with a well timed verbal parry(the kind that makes her majesty think "How dare you insect?") to change her emotional state so it's not too big of an issue. The key thing about a girl yelling at you or calling you a jackass is reframing it by teasing her about her outbursts.

It's all about frame at the end of the day.

I am okay if i would succesfully approach and open her. Thing is , will she be receptive?

Can you make her feel a certain way?

Post: #14

(09-01-2016 04:00 PM)Comte De St. Germain Wrote:  

(09-01-2016 03:52 PM)Euphoria Wrote:  

(09-01-2016 03:26 PM)Comte De St. Germain Wrote:  Honestly man. You're more likely to get laid if a girl even feels emotion from you. Plenty of chicks who were mad during the approach ended up going home with me or my friends.

What you need to watch out for is apathy. If a girl humors you and her tone is that of one where you feel like a bug that needs to be swatted that affects/annoys me more, and that can be turned around with a well timed verbal parry(the kind that makes her majesty think "How dare you insect?") to change her emotional state so it's not too big of an issue. The key thing about a girl yelling at you or calling you a jackass is reframing it by teasing her about her outbursts.

It's all about frame at the end of the day.

I am okay if i would succesfully approach and open her. Thing is , will she be receptive?

Can you make her feel a certain way?

Ofcourse i can. I have no problem at anything except my fear. I have charming personality, i can easily make her smile and feel attached to me. All i want is overcoming my confrontation fear.

Post: #15

OP
One thing you have to understand about women is they want men to approach them. This is why I have always been a fan of direct approaches. Your giving her a compliment. Making her feel flattered. If I get a rejection or blown out of the water. I just laugh it off. She wasn't worthy of my love juice anyway.

Whatever your going to do in life give 100%. Roll the dice and let the chips fall where they may.

Post: #16

Join some martial arts gym. Thats the only way to overcome your fear no matter what us here will say.
After get used to getting punched or choked by a guy, you will fear no girl.

Post: #17

(09-01-2016 04:11 PM)Euphoria Wrote:  

(09-01-2016 04:00 PM)Comte De St. Germain Wrote:  

(09-01-2016 03:52 PM)Euphoria Wrote:  

(09-01-2016 03:26 PM)Comte De St. Germain Wrote:  Honestly man. You're more likely to get laid if a girl even feels emotion from you. Plenty of chicks who were mad during the approach ended up going home with me or my friends.

What you need to watch out for is apathy. If a girl humors you and her tone is that of one where you feel like a bug that needs to be swatted that affects/annoys me more, and that can be turned around with a well timed verbal parry(the kind that makes her majesty think "How dare you insect?") to change her emotional state so it's not too big of an issue. The key thing about a girl yelling at you or calling you a jackass is reframing it by teasing her about her outbursts.

It's all about frame at the end of the day.

I am okay if i would succesfully approach and open her. Thing is , will she be receptive?

Can you make her feel a certain way?

Ofcourse i can. I have no problem at anything except my fear. I have charming personality, i can easily make her smile and feel attached to me. All i want is overcoming my confrontation fear.

You talk a big game, but you aren't doing it. All fear has a cause. If you can do it then there's no better advice than to simply keep doing it.

The first step is you not anyone else. No responses. Nothing. It's all you. There's no work around to this. You have to move. Are you expecting us to provide a magic potion that'll get you off your ass? Booze might be an answer but that's not sustainable.

Post: #18

I don't know about other guys, but I sort of feel that approaching women requires someone to have a "Salesmen Mindset"

Meaning, imagine yourself as a salesman or a party promoter and your job is just to talk to every girl on the street for a few minutes and convince her to buy whatever you are selling (in this case, a future date or even just a smile and phone number).

As a salesman, you have to be fearless because there will be girls that aren't interested in buying what you're selling, but if you have a good enough "sales pitch" (2-5 minute opener) then there will be some girls that are interested in having a longer conversation.

Another important thing to understand is calibrating your energy levels. Some environments require high-energy shouting (like a club). Other situations require a more low-key approach. Talking to a girl on a park bench is a more low-key situation IMO - you don't want to be too loud and scare her, you want to be nice, calm, and want her to feel safe.

I read a story one-time about a redpill virgin who was telling every girl on the street "You're the most beautiful girl I have ever seen!" - way too much over-kill, pedalizing, and a conversation killer. In most situations, its enough just to say "Hi, how is your day going" and building comfort and attraction from there.

Post: #19

(09-01-2016 02:18 PM)Red_Pillage Wrote:  

(09-01-2016 02:09 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(09-01-2016 01:48 PM)subterfuge Wrote:  Then she went ape-shit at me and tried to grab me and called me some names/insults/tried to hurt my feelings.

Then some white knight came over being all brave, but when I went to grab him by his neck, the bouncers intervened. Then I got a cab home!

Little Dark's son ?

Little Dark told them all to go home. Sub got into a cab and told the driver to take him home.

Little Dark would be disappoint.

Post: #20

(09-01-2016 04:40 PM)Rocha Wrote:  Join some martial arts gym. Thats the only way to overcome your fear no matter what us here will say.
After get used to getting punched or choked by a guy, you will fear no girl.

this is really helpful and makes sense. i think im just being bitchboy..

Post: #21

I had a bit of anxiety when approaching in the beginning.

I used a system to help me get over it, although I do get patches of it crop up again here and there.

I viewed approaching as not a way to get numbers but to get used to the idea of talking to a woman in an environment at the time I deemed uncomfortable.

My Routine was to keep talking to a minimum as I would run out of thing's to say.

Approach girl -->"You're cute, what's your name?" / judge reaction / If good --> "I have to run for a meeting, we should get together sometime what's your number?" If bad --> (exit)

I repeated this some 20-30 times before I had no more anxiety.

I only got 2 numbers during this time and I didn't care as I just wanted to get over the first hurdle.

Post: #22

(09-01-2016 08:06 PM)jcrew247 Wrote:  As a salesman, you have to be fearless because there will be girls that aren't interested in buying what you're selling, but if you have a good enough "sales pitch" (2-5 minute opener) then there will be some girls that are interested in having a longer conversation.

Yeah. I'm frankly way more afraid of having my time wasted by a weak lead/tire kicker than any kind of "confrontation."

The worst that's ever really happened to me is a girl might say "Do I know you?" in vaguely hostile manner, or give me a bitchy look, or simply ignore me (that happens fairly often.)

If I get the "WTF do you want?" vibe from her, or she gives me a look like this:



I just smile, say "Have a nice night" and walk.



Problem solved in 99% of cases.

(09-01-2016 01:48 PM)subterfuge Wrote:  The closest i've got to an actual confrontation was about a month back when I approach a girl and said
''Hi! I like your hat''
and she was like ''thanks'',
and then about 2 seconds later, this girls female friend came over to me and said:
''Why are you talking to my friend? You don't know her. Leave her alone''

The cool thing about interpersonal conflict is that people often give you the instructions on how to avoid that conflict right from the start. It's usually a good idea to listen to them. You should've made your exit immediately at that point - I thought the goal was to get laid.

Quote:I replied something like
''Well nobody is talking to you, and i'm sure if she wants me to go away, she can tell me herself''

Then she carried on like
''Just walk away. What do you want?!!!''

Then I said ''Listen. You're not pretty enough to be this rude. Just F off''

Then she went ape-shit at me and tried to grab me and called me some names/insults/tried to hurt my feelings.

Then some white knight came over being all brave, but when I went to grab him by his neck, the bouncers intervened. Then I got a cab home!

She went ape-shit after you escalated instead of walking away? No fooling? That's what always happens, as surely as night follows day - you got what you were asking for. Good thing you didn't get knocked out...

Post: #23

(09-01-2016 01:48 PM)subterfuge Wrote:  The closest i've got to an actual confrontation was about a month back when I approach a girl and said
''Hi! I like your hat''
and she was like ''thanks'',
and then about 2 seconds later, this girls female friend came over to me and said:
''Why are you talking to my friend? You don't know her. Leave her alone''

I re-read this post and i think that girl was cute. Can you imagine the situation? Little children in shape of woman bullies you. Im serious, it is funny. I think im starting to think im afraid of ready-to-atack white knights. Since you are guilty - until proven innocent in current era, subconsciously i may think that the males will come to help then things get worse and bam, you are in mercy of police department.

Post: #24

(09-02-2016 04:02 PM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

(09-01-2016 08:06 PM)jcrew247 Wrote:  As a salesman, you have to be fearless because there will be girls that aren't interested in buying what you're selling, but if you have a good enough "sales pitch" (2-5 minute opener) then there will be some girls that are interested in having a longer conversation.

Yeah. I'm frankly way more afraid of having my time wasted by a weak lead/tire kicker than any kind of "confrontation."

The worst that's ever really happened to me is a girl might say "Do I know you?" in vaguely hostile manner, or give me a bitchy look, or simply ignore me (that happens fairly often.)

If I get the "WTF do you want?" vibe from her, or she gives me a look like this:

I just smile, say "Have a nice night" and walk.

Problem solved in 99% of cases.

I don't really think 5 minutes of talking to a girl is wasting your time - what are you in a rush for?

Think about the "Art of a Conversation" as its own entity. Forget about what happens afterwards (numbers or dates). Just live in the moment of having a conversation. You can talk (indirect game) about the weather or ask for directions. If she is friendly, then maybe you can start flirting more. Make sure to always smile (so you appear friendly and not scary) and to make eye contact. If you are a good-looking guy women won't be angry that you want to talk to her.

Think about your "conversational goal" is to make her day happier. Your goal is not to bother women, but to say something that will make her smile and make her happy. You have the upper-hand and control because you have the power to make her smile. Every woman wants to meet a man who can make her day happier and better.

Don't be too pushy, just say "I don't want to bother you, but I just wanted to say that you looked really pretty, and I wanted to say hello."
Calibrate your energy levels to "comforting yet flirtatious" for cold-openers.

Post: #25

(09-02-2016 08:26 PM)jcrew247 Wrote:  

(09-02-2016 04:02 PM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

(09-01-2016 08:06 PM)jcrew247 Wrote:  As a salesman, you have to be fearless because there will be girls that aren't interested in buying what you're selling, but if you have a good enough "sales pitch" (2-5 minute opener) then there will be some girls that are interested in having a longer conversation.

Yeah. I'm frankly way more afraid of having my time wasted by a weak lead/tire kicker than any kind of "confrontation."

The worst that's ever really happened to me is a girl might say "Do I know you?" in vaguely hostile manner, or give me a bitchy look, or simply ignore me (that happens fairly often.)

If I get the "WTF do you want?" vibe from her, or she gives me a look like this:

I just smile, say "Have a nice night" and walk.

Problem solved in 99% of cases.

I don't really think 5 minutes of talking to a girl is wasting your time - what are you in a rush for?

Think about the "Art of a Conversation" as its own entity. Forget about what happens afterwards (numbers or dates). Just live in the moment of having a conversation. You can talk (indirect game) about the weather or ask for directions. If she is friendly, then maybe you can start flirting more. Make sure to always smile (so you appear friendly and not scary) and to make eye contact. If you are a good-looking guy women won't be angry that you want to talk to her.

Think about your "conversational goal" is to make her day happier. Your goal is not to bother women, but to say something that will make her smile and make her happy. You have the upper-hand and control because you have the power to make her smile. Every woman wants to meet a man who can make her day happier and better.

Don't be too pushy, just say "I don't want to bother you, but I just wanted to say that you looked really pretty, and I wanted to say hello."
Calibrate your energy levels to "comforting yet flirtatious" for cold-openers.

I found any compliment as pedestalizing attempt, therefore i am not fan of it. I would rather go indirect. Or just '' Hey '' if direct is prefered.