Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

Mrs. Chocolate · 12-18-2011 06:36 PM

Well guys, I need help to figure out what is going on here...
See, I was exchanging emails DAILY with a guy that I met and finally after 3 weeks (not earlier due some issues we both had) I went in a date and he kissed me in the very end.
He said later he had no idea that we could have been in a date. OMG.(If I could express my face at time for you, I would... anyway..)
So far, so good.
Then, last thursday we met again and it was nice (now completely sure that it was a date situation), but he is shy and I don't know how to deal with it nor bring his personality out (meaning break the ice).
Is he a beta?
Maybe.
Is he LTR material? Not sure and don't care that much. Is been good taste something new instead of more caverman/agressive game.
Any thoughts?

Samseau · 12-18-2011 08:08 PM

See, you're talking to men here Mrs. Chocolate. We think in terms of purposes and functions. Just what are you trying to achieve here? What is your goal?

Not LTR? So you just wanna bang the guy? Make a move!

Caligula · 12-18-2011 08:54 PM

How did you start corresponding with the guy?

You sound confused.

Yeah he sounds beta. But that's not necessarily a bad thing if you're looking for someone to settle down with. Are you attracted to the guy at all? Anyway, if you don't care if he's LTR material just help him along and get the bang.

Amour Fou · 12-18-2011 11:26 PM

Figure out what you want with this guy and don't be afraid to take initiatives.

And don't keep endlessly luring him in.

el mechanico · 12-18-2011 11:32 PM

Mrs. C Do the same thing we do. Pour booze in him.
[attachment=3891]

Mrs. Chocolate · 12-19-2011 06:49 AM

(12-18-2011 08:54 PM)Caligula Wrote: How did you start corresponding with the guy?

You sound confused.

Yeah he sounds beta. But that's not necessarily a bad thing if you're looking for someone to settle down with. Are you attracted to the guy at all? Anyway, if you don't care if he's LTR material just help him along and get the bang.

I am confused by his behavior.
I skipped that part before because I thought it didn't matter. We met at work (but we are not co-workers) and mutual friends, then he added me on FB, we started to talk, he asked me out (due to my and his work/college - I am a Post Grad student and he is a Bsc student - schedules it was hard to meet each others) ... and there you go.
I don't care if I he will be my boyfriend or not because is to soon for that and it's been nice to spend time together I will stay around until is fun. When is not anymore I am leaving, rather I am his girl or just a friend with benefits. Cool

What I really wanted is break the ice between us and see someone more loose. In the moment we kissed I could notice that he is the type of guy who knows what he is doing and knows how to hold a girl (Imagine that, this is rare nowadays). Therefore, despite his shyness he can please me.
I asked you guys about him because I needed a men perspective. If I ask to my girlfriends, they will say something else. Now I need men' opinion.

WestIndianArchie · 12-19-2011 08:54 AM

(12-18-2011 06:36 PM)Mrs. Chocolate Wrote: Well guys, I need help to figure out what is going on here...
See, I was exchanging emails DAILY with a guy that I met and finally after 3 weeks (not earlier due some issues we both had) I went in a date and he kissed me in the very end.
He said later he had no idea that we could have been in a date. OMG.(If I could express my face at time for you, I would... anyway..)
So far, so good.
Then, last thursday we met again and it was nice (now completely sure that it was a date situation), but he is shy and I don't know how to deal with it nor bring his personality out (meaning break the ice).
Is he a beta?
Maybe.
Is he LTR material? Not sure and don't care that much. Is been good taste something new instead of more caverman/agressive game.
Any thoughts?

He might not be that into you.
You've already given him the go ahead, and he's not going ahead.

Move on.

Amour Fou · 12-19-2011 11:02 AM

I honestly and humbly believe that women's opinion is less fruitfull both for man and for women... obviously especially for men, but for women as well... they have less capability for pragmatism, and that is very important when considering any interaction between men and women. Any interaction between different human beings, really...

Beyond Borders · 12-19-2011 12:42 PM

Just take the initiative and lead the situation (after pouring some booze in him as El Mechanico suggested). I'd advise against being overly suggestive verbally or talking to him straight up about sex - if he's really shy, this could scare him and he probably won't put on a good show because he'll be nervous.

Just get drinks with him and lead the situation by escalating. From there allow the situation to unfold naturally while being a little more aggressive with your actions rather than words. The booze may even give him the confidence to take the lead from you.

have fun Mrs C

~~esperar~~ · 12-19-2011 01:05 PM

If you just wanna fuck him, get him alone, take your clothes off, bend over in front of him, and ask him to slam it to you.

Beyond Borders · 12-19-2011 01:09 PM

(12-19-2011 01:05 PM)esperar Wrote: If you just wanna fuck him, get him alone, take your clothes off, bend over in front of him, and ask him to slam it to you.

It depends on how old he is and how shy he is.

Believe it or not, there are a lot of guys who wouldn't be able to handle this. It's kind of like how most guys are too overwhelmed to perform adequately when they have two women even though most say it's their ultimate fantasy. The difference is that these shy guys can get overwhelmed by just one woman if she comes on too strong.

speakeasy · 12-19-2011 03:37 PM

I'm not clear what it is you want from the situation. Are you looking for a serious boyfriend? Just someone to hang with and have fun and some physical action?

I'm sure there is something you must like about him beyond his shyness, otherwise this wouldn't be something that is bothering you. Do you like him overall enough to plow through the shyness issues? Also keep in mind some people are just slow to open up and once they are comfortable may act completely normal. How well do you know him and how many dates have you guys been on?

iknowexactly · 12-19-2011 06:58 PM

Unfortunately I think you can assume he's not super hot for you, or kissing you would have driven him nuts.

That "get naked" thing is more from frat boy movies than actually a turn on for me.

Some guys are just not that sexual. With me, if I'm not really hot for a chick I dread the pressure they usually put on me for LTR after I fuck them, and I have to keep putting them off. That can keep me from screwing a girl who's available.

Mrs. Chocolate · 12-20-2011 05:13 AM

The get naked thing will certainly work, but is too much for my personal taste.
@speakeasy: I like to hang out with him, but I'm not sure if I want to be his girlfriend, as I told before. I don't want to plan those things.
We had two short dates last week, and he still send me emails about how am I.
If he is not that into, why is he in touch yet?
after holidays, I will schedule a pic nic at the park and see how it goes.

Riker · 12-20-2011 06:00 AM

Maybe he is doing all this a bit on purpose to have you think a lot about him and get you really into him...

Pilgrim37 · 12-21-2011 04:28 PM

(12-20-2011 05:13 AM)Mrs. Chocolate Wrote: The get naked thing will certainly work, but is too much for my personal taste.
@speakeasy: I like to hang out with him, but I'm not sure if I want to be his girlfriend, as I told before. I don't want to plan those things.
We had two short dates last week, and he still send me emails about how am I.
If he is not that into, why is he in touch yet?
after holidays, I will schedule a pic nic at the park and see how it goes.

Ask him if you can suck his cock...his response or lack off will tell you what you want to know Smile

speakeasy · 12-21-2011 08:32 PM

(12-20-2011 05:13 AM)Mrs. Chocolate Wrote: The get naked thing will certainly work, but is too much for my personal taste.
@speakeasy: I like to hang out with him, but I'm not sure if I want to be his girlfriend, as I told before. I don't want to plan those things.
We had two short dates last week, and he still send me emails about how am I.
If he is not that into, why is he in touch yet?
after holidays, I will schedule a pic nic at the park and see how it goes.

After the holidays?? That's like 3 weeks from your last date. When you're at the very beginning of dating someone, 3 weeks is an ETERNITY to wait for your next date. You should rethink that part.

Timoteo · 12-21-2011 11:18 PM

(12-21-2011 08:32 PM)speakeasy Wrote:
(12-20-2011 05:13 AM)Mrs. Chocolate Wrote: The get naked thing will certainly work, but is too much for my personal taste.
@speakeasy: I like to hang out with him, but I'm not sure if I want to be his girlfriend, as I told before. I don't want to plan those things.
We had two short dates last week, and he still send me emails about how am I.
If he is not that into, why is he in touch yet?
after holidays, I will schedule a pic nic at the park and see how it goes.

After the holidays?? That's like 3 weeks from your last date. When you're at the very beginning of dating someone, 3 weeks is an ETERNITY to wait for your next date. You should rethink that part.

I agree. Three weeks is too long. You need to give him some before the holidays. Maybe bring in the New Year with him. At the same time, his emails should be doing more than asking you how you are. He should be trying to arrange to see you again soon.

~~esperar~~ · 12-22-2011 08:06 AM

(12-20-2011 05:13 AM)Mrs. Chocolate Wrote: The get naked thing will certainly work, but is too much for my personal taste.
@speakeasy: I like to hang out with him, but I'm not sure if I want to be his girlfriend, as I told before. I don't want to plan those things.
We had two short dates last week, and he still send me emails about how am I.
If he is not that into, why is he in touch yet?
after holidays, I will schedule a pic nic at the park and see how it goes.

Why is it too much if you just want to get plowed? Do what I said. He does like you, or he wouldn't speak to you. Hell, I'd even suggest "raping" him.

~~TheAntiWhiteKnight138~~ · 12-22-2011 12:09 PM

Some of the "just take off your clothes" suggestions here are a bit over the top being that this guy is a beta. He'd probably piss his little johnnies and call it a night

OP, if he won't man up and take you down, I'm sure one of us on here would. Men's internal instincts surround sex, give him a few more cues and clues physically and if he doesn't react ditch him. Most women tire of betas after a while anyway and end up in bed w/ the neighbor while he's away. Add in drinks at his or your place and see what happens

GL

Mrs. Chocolate · 12-22-2011 04:53 PM

Update:

He asked me to go to his place next monday. Let's see how it goes.

haywire · 12-22-2011 05:17 PM

(12-22-2011 04:53 PM)Mrs. Chocolate Wrote: Update:

He asked me to go to his place next monday. Let's see how it goes.

Get the bang and make us proud.

speakeasy · 12-22-2011 06:09 PM

(12-22-2011 04:53 PM)Mrs. Chocolate Wrote: Update:

He asked me to go to his place next monday. Let's see how it goes.

Mrs. Chocolate · 12-23-2011 09:18 AM

(12-22-2011 05:17 PM)haywire Wrote:
(12-22-2011 04:53 PM)Mrs. Chocolate Wrote: Update:

He asked me to go to his place next monday. Let's see how it goes.

Get the bang and make us proud.

LOL. I tought that you might think that I am a b* for it.

Timoteo · 12-23-2011 05:39 PM

(12-23-2011 09:18 AM)Mrs. Chocolate Wrote:
(12-22-2011 05:17 PM)haywire Wrote:
(12-22-2011 04:53 PM)Mrs. Chocolate Wrote: Update:

He asked me to go to his place next monday. Let's see how it goes.

Get the bang and make us proud.

LOL. I tought that you might think that I am a b* for it.

I like that he stepped up and asked you over to his place. I hope he plies you with alcohol, gets you to his sofa and proceeds to grope and kiss you. It's time for you to consummate this relationship.

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode The shy guy - help me out.
Author	Message