Post: #1

[Editor's note:

This is a true story. Some details have been changed.

Part 1 can be found here:

/thread-51328.html

Part 2 can be found here:

/thread-51334.html

Thanks for reading.]

“In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.” –Albert Camus

An Invincible Summer

The sun was out in full force, feeling warm on my face. Not a cloud in the sky. I was sitting outside at a bar with a cute blond girl, having a “deep conversation” about writing. I felt like I’d had this conversation before.

“So you want to be a writer?” I asked her. She wasn’t bad looking, and I could probably take her home, but I was bored. So very bored. I’d rather be home reading or in the woods hunting than chatting with her at a bar.
“I went to school for writing. It’s just, I don’t know what to write about. Or how I would even get started.”
“Why not start a blog?” I asked her, looking at my old Casio watch, which was more comfortable than the expensive one I’d bought last year. I’d had this same conversation with many “aspiring writers.”
“I dunno. I’ve never thought about it. I mean, what would I write about? What do you write about?” she asked.
“I just sit at the keyboard and bleed…” I told her, drifting off.

Most of my evenings were spent in bars approaching random women or on dates with women I’d met online. I’d grown tired of it, although I’d gotten proficient at it through practice, studying game, and debriefing with Chris. I was turning a good bit of dates into casual relationships, and had a decent amount of women in my life.

But I still felt empty.

Most of the dates started to feel the same. I was playing from a script rather than actually enjoying an evening with another human being. Shit test? Respond with canned line I found on Heartsie’s Crib Sheet of Game. Text message after the date? Respond with something short and ambiguous per McQueen and RooshV text game. IOI? Call her “babe”, escalate, and kino – straight Mystery Method. Maintain eye contact, open posture, ask feel good questions and don’t talk too much about yourself. Let it slip late and casually in the conversation about my career. “Let’s go have a glass of wine and watch a movie at my place a few blocks away.” I had it almost down to a science.

Game is more a matter of competence than confidence.

Dating had ultimately become more of a chore than something I enjoyed. Worse, dating was taking up most of my time, and a good bit of money. I was skipping gym sessions in favor of going on dates, and spending hours exchanging messages online. When I wasn’t working, I was either setting up dates, going on dates, going out to approach women, or reading about game.

Slowly I realized something. Between Erin and dating, women had become the center of my life. Everything I did was centered around meeting and attracting women.

Why was I doing this? Did I really need a woman to make my life meaningful?

I started asking myself bigger questions. Why was I so intent on meeting someone? Rather than game, I became interested in self improvement.

I started to focus my time on the things I actually enjoyed – building my business, going to Crossfit, developing wealth, shooting guns, hiking, hunting, traveling, learning, community activism, working on my house, riding my bike, reading, and writing. I became president of my neighborhood civic association, and well known around town for community activism. I ran a political campaign. I taught myself how to cook, because that seemed like something interesting to do. Cooking was something I could do for me, instead of taking dates out to fancy restaurants.

I got rid of my television. Often I would stay in and just read books and cook dinner for myself. If I went out, it was because I felt like spending time with someone for the sake of good conversation. I didn’t have to impress anyone.

Instead of going out to meet women or on dates, I started going out for myself. As I got more into my hobbies, my group of friends expanded without much effort. I took a real interest in getting to know people, too. My friends started to include people from all walks of life. Waitresses, chefs, real estate developers, strippers, business owners, MMA fighters, you name it. As my circle of friends started to expand, so did my business.

For the first time in my life, I didn’t feel like I was chasing something. I no longer needed validation from women. The only person I needed validation from was me.

Women started coming into my life organically, and sometimes by going out and approaching the ones I felt like talking to. Cold approaches no longer phased me. I had so many good looking female friends that talking to women wasn’t frightening anymore. And if I got rejected, so what? Her problem, not mine. My life would go on.

It became more a matter of who I wanted to keep in my life, rather than trying to attract new people into it. At 33 years old, I found myself the owner of a thriving business, a homeowner, and with little debt. My best years were still to come. Women no longer controlled my life, but sometimes they compliment it.

One summer afternoon I biked to the private swim club where I’m a member. When I arrive there, the hot waitress gives me a big hug and kisses my cheek. I know her socially. “Hank!!!!! The owner said to send you out a drink on the house. You look so cute with your hair all messed up!” I grin and wink at her, sipping on scotch.

Life is good.

I hadn’t thought about Erin in awhile until I bumped into one of her friends that afternoon. Megan, a friend of mine, pulls a chair up next to me, and we make light conversation:

“Why don’t you buy me a drink, Hank?”
“Your flirting needs work…” I respond out of habit, and continue reading my book.
“You jerk!” she says, and punches me on the arm.
“That’s Mister Jerk to you. Now go get me a scotch before I die of thirst.” Megan obliges and brings me over a drink. It’s funny how women like being told what to do.
“What are you doing, Hank?”
“Planning a vacation somewhere out of the country, maybe Vietnam.”
“So… you don’t talk to Erin anymore, do you?” she asks me, a bit off the cuff. I can tell she’s trying to probe me. Erin and Megan are friends.
“Nah. I haven’t spoken with Erin in over a year. Why do you ask?”
“I guess you didn’t hear? She got back together with her ex husband, and then they broke up again.”
“I’m sure she’ll meet someone cool and settle down.” I didn’t care. It’s her life to live however she wants. Just not something I want to be a part of.
“Oh, she did. She’s with Marcus now. They’re engaged, and she’s pregnant.”
“Huh? Marcus? Isn’t Marcus is married?” I could believe it. But I could.
“Yeah, I know, it’s crazy! Apparently Marcus left his wife for her. They’re buying a house together or something. Marcus said something about his soon to be ex-wife not wanting kids. I know Erin wanted kids soon. She’s 36 now. They’ve only been together for like three months. Isn’t that nuts? It’s kind of sad that Marcus had to sell the house in the divorce. I liked his place.”
“I mean, that’s cool I guess. Everyone deserves to be happy. And I like him. He’s a good guy. Decent job in insurance, nice house, knows sports. He’ll be a good father and loyal husband.”
“Between you and me, Hank, I think he’s kind of a pussy…” she says, grinning.

Laying poolside and sipping scotch, I start to think about everything. In another life, Erin would have moved into my house. Maybe we would have gotten married, had children, and even joint bank accounts. A few years ago I would have let that happen. In fact, at the time, that’s all I wanted.

A few days later, I get a text from Erin out of the blue asking if we could catch up. She must have talked to Megan. I don’t respond. That week, someone was knocking on my door. Erin showed up at my house unannounced. She is still pretty, but she looked her age at 36 and had gained a few pounds.

“Hey Hank. I was in your neck of the woods and figured I would stop by to say hi.” Except all the feeling was gone. She was just another girl.
“Can I come in?”
“I’m sort of in the middle of a something now.”
“Your work is more important than me, Hank? Don’t you miss me? It’s been so long.”
“Be well”, I said, and closed the door.

A couple of weeks later, Erin sent me an email saying “Hank, you’re being so immature. I thought you were better than that. I can’t believe you’re still mad at me!”

But I wasn’t mad at her. I mean, how could I be mad at her?

Erin broke my heart into pieces. But when all was said and done, she left me better than she found.

A better man. A free man.

Post: #2

Bet this Erin has a notch count in the 300s

Post: #3

Great writing.

I have a request for you in part 4. You really need to nail Megan.

Post: #4

(10-29-2015 10:01 AM)Dino Wrote:  Great writing.

I have a request for you in part 4. You really need to nail Megan.

Maybe he already has.

Post: #5

Great post Hank! You did the right thing bro.

Post: #6

(10-29-2015 10:31 AM)CleanSlate Wrote:  

(10-29-2015 10:01 AM)Dino Wrote:  Great writing.

I have a request for you in part 4. You really need to nail Megan.

Maybe he already has.

Man I hope so. Hopefully word got back to Erin and she got even more to think about after that door slammed in her face.

However, we all know you can't teach women lessons - but you can at least fuck their friends.

Post: #7

Awesome post Hank read all of parts. I myself just got out of a ltr of 6 years so to say am a beta is a understatement. But after reading your post's first thing am doing is going to improve myself get in shape , get some new hobbies and after that learn all about game.

Post: #8

Your writing hit right in the feels.

Went through almost the exact same scenario this summer in a shorter timeframe and sans the full-circle ending.

Signing up to read anything else you cook up.

Post: #9

Did Marcus and Erin have a healthy child? Did they live happily ever after?

So many unanswered questions. This romance novel sucks.

Post: #10

Another solid part 3.

Dude you gotta write a short book about this ! Goddamn you can write !

Post: #11

Great writing Hank!

Enjoyable, cringe worthy read. At least I knew that it would end well.

Post: #12

I think this whole story resonates with so many of the guys on here. Break ups is what caused most of us to discover game after all.

Post: #13

I'd like to know more about Will.

Post: #14

A book would be awesome. I enjoyed reading your story man. We all started somewhere, your story is encouraging.

Post: #15

Read the whole story in the Uber this morning on the way downtown to run some day game. Great read.

Post: #16

Was actually looking for part 2 and 3 in the original post, great read. Keep writing these short stories, I enjoy reading them.

Post: #17

Good post how many years ago did this all happen ?

Post: #18

That was a good read - excellent writing Hank, thanks! And it's good to hear that you made a conclusion for yourself what matters in life. It inspires me, even though my situation is "more favourable". Keep writing (I probably don't need to mention that since I've seen the superb threads started by you recently)!

Post: #19

I've done the Chris thing for few people, and had 1 bro do it for me before he got married to the wrong female. God.

You thought about giving back/ mentoring others?

Post: #20

(05-07-2016 03:36 PM)xmlenigma Wrote:  I've done the Chris thing for few people, and had 1 bro do it for me before he got married to the wrong female. God.

You thought about giving back/ mentoring others?

That's why I write on this forum.

Post: #21

This is so relatable it's scary, in particular the evolution of dating from an excitement to a chore.

5+ years ago, I had crushes on girls. Remember that word, "crush"? Every little interaction with a girl I "liked" left me all giddy and warm and fuzzy on the inside. It didn't matter if her stomach wasn't flat, or she wasn't my usual type, or we had nothing in common; there was just something profoundly intoxicating about certain girls; the way they acted, the way they smelled. I loved being around girls. Dates were a big deal. I looked forward to them from the second they were arranged. I never worried about needing to "kino" or "escalate" to keep a girl interested. I ended up liking pretty much every girl I went on a date with, even though none of them were particularly hot at this stage. It never failed that I would dream about how awesome it'll be to see her again, and exuberantly wonder if she's "the one."

Heaps of game material, countless first dates, a handful of brief flings, and two relationships later:

What the fuck is a "crush"? Just about every girl I come in contact with, I'm put off either by how fat she is or by how lame and stupid and unoriginal the words that come out of her mouth are. If I've ejaculated in the past day, I feel absolutely no compulsion to go out of my way to interact with girls.

Dates are now mass-produced off of an assembly line. Selecting which girls to spend my valuable time on is a matter of checklist criteria. 5'11"? That'd be emasculating being at eye level with her. Next. Looks like there might some flab underneath that shirt? Next. Hairdresser? We'll have nothing to talk about. Next. Below 21? She'll be a time-waster. Next. 30 or above? Next. Arm tattoo? Next. Lip ring? Next. Short hair? Next. Interested in "social justice"? Next.

A date is not a nice afternoon/evening spent with another human being to look forward to, it's a performance I'm obligated to put on. I prepare a mental script of how it needs to go down, and where and how I'll "escalate," to make sure I give myself the best chance possible.

I have no patience to tolerate annoying behavior from girls. If she starts taking over a day to reply to texts, sending laconic two word replies, shooting down all my ideas without proposing a good alternative, making up bullshit excuses to postpone/cancel, or being weird and incoherent, I next her without a single regret.

I'm bored to pieces by 90% of the girls I meet, even ones that are pretty cute. I go months in between meeting a girl who provokes some semblance of an emotional response from me.

Your story is some indication that this is a natural progression after learning game, which is comforting.

Post: #22

If anyone is interested...

Marcus and Erin got married and bought a house in the suburbs. She sold her business to make it happen. Sadly, she gave birth prematurely and lost the kid. It devastated her emotionally. At 36 she's probably not going to get another chance, and she realizes that. Of late she has become defined by her depression. Despite her shortcomings, she used to be a vibrant, happy person. That's gone. Which is sad. I'm still friendly with both her and Marcus, and refer them work on occasion.

Me? I'm headed to the pool because it's nice out...

Post: #23

Do you have a blog?

Post: #24

(05-08-2016 10:58 AM)glugger Wrote:  Do you have a blog?

Yeah, but it's not game or red pill related. It's a legal blog. Rated by the American Bar Association in the top 100.

I write red pill stuff here.

Post: #25

Quote:But I wasn’t mad at her. I mean, how could I be mad at her?

Erin broke my heart into pieces. But when all was said and done, she left me better than she found.

A better man. A free man.

Good read. The above really stuck out to me. Keep it up Hank