Post: #1

I am referring to the red flags that have been mentioned on an earlier thread. I met a girl who I've taken out three times already (she's 21) but she has two red flags which were mentioned earlier. For one, she has a history of an eating disorder (anorexia), which leads me to believe that her family might have some sort of line of mental problems. Also, she lost her virginity at a young age (14).
Aside form that, she's from a well to do family and is always down to hang out at any given time when she doesn't have school work and her parents pay for all her expenses.

Post: #2

This should be in the game forum or subforum.

What you do is up to you. She has two red flags that you know about. That number may increase in time. If your needs are being met, I think it's fine to date, nothing is forcing you into a LTR or greater commitment.

I will say though, every time I've ever had to do a mental cost/benefit analysis on a girl, or tried to rationalize away something that was a red flag, it was the first sign of trouble. It's when my gut tells me that something is wrong, and time has always proven it right. YMMV

Post: #3

(03-30-2016 11:42 AM)thoughtgypsy Wrote:  This should be in the game forum or subforum.

What you do is up to you. She has two red flags that you know about. That number may increase in time. If your needs are being met, I think it's fine to date, nothing is forcing you into a LTR or greater commitment.

I will say though, every time I've ever had to do a mental cost/benefit analysis on a girl, or tried to rationalize away something that was a red flag, it was the first sign of trouble. It's when my gut tells me that something is wrong, and time has always proven it right. YMMV

Thanks. Do you think I should delete this question and move it to the Game forum?

Post: #4

While guys will give you advice, only you know if it is worth it. Some guys can handle girls with issues, some cannot. By all means, I hope guys would give you some feedback. But at the end of the day, only you know if you can and that is after you remove your ego from the analysis and any desparation you may have. Plenty of guys have chased crazy because they were too eager.

And not all red flags are alike. She has a bunch of guy friends? No biggie unless you want something serious, if you just want to bang it. No problem. She talks about having been raped or accused others of rape, maybe you just wanna fap that night.

Post: #5

I don't date a girl with ANY major red flags. Minor red flags need to be viewed in context so you don't confuse a "red flag" with the normal personality quirks that everybody has.

Post: #6

As long as you can control your reactions and the flow of the dates I don't think there will be problems, hell, I've done it myself a couple of times and that was in my pre-redpill days (unfortunately I didn't recognize them as red flags at the time...).

See it as application of the knowledge you have received from this forum, you already are ahead of many men, don't be afraid to make another step towards the unknown...and stuff.
Have a good time, hopefully get the crazy bangs and if you are carefull, you won't have to worry where it will lead, she will probably initiate the break-up, you weren't planning on LTRing her anyway...

Just make sure she doesn't make any false accusations ;-)

Post: #7

Fuckbuddy maximum. Freaks are awesome in bed.

Never get emotionally involved with any of these girls though, they're more prone to every bad behaviour we describe on this forum.

Post: #8

(03-30-2016 05:11 PM)Splord Wrote:  As long as you can control your reactions and the flow of the dates I don't think there will be problems, hell, I've done it myself a couple of times and that was in my pre-redpill days (unfortunately I didn't recognize them as red flags at the time...).

See it as application of the knowledge you have received from this forum, you already are ahead of many men, don't be afraid to make another step towards the unknown...and stuff.
Have a good time, hopefully get the crazy bangs and if you are carefull, you won't have to worry where it will lead, she will probably initiate the break-up, you weren't planning on LTRing her anyway...

Just make sure she doesn't make any false accusations ;-)

Actually, the problem is that, save for these two reg flags, she checks out as a normal, average girl. She has parents who never divorced, a great relationship with her dad, a stable family, somewhat religious.

Post: #9

Date? As in bang on the regular? Sure, why the fuck not?

Marry? Probably not.

Post: #10

(03-30-2016 11:30 AM)johnbozzz Wrote:  For one, she has a history of an eating disorder

Tuth cosigns.

When it comes to red flags and other topics of personal concern, evaluate how comfortable/uncomfortable you are with it.

If it bothers you even a little bit and you can't fully see past it, then it's never going to get better and guarantee will evolve into a wedge between you and this girl.

As for my personal opinion - you've only taken her out 3 times. If she's cute then bang away and keep it casual and see how it goes. You're looking at the end of the 4th quarter before the coin toss. Don't worry about LTR material yet unless you are specifically wife-hunting or something.

Post: #11

If I only hooked up with girls in their late 20s-early 30s who only had a single red flag, I'd probably never get laid, unfortunately.

Post: #12

There are Red Flags and then there are Red Flags. If a Red Flag informs me that a pattern of bad behavior will continue, then I won't ever abide a single red flag of this type and date a girl. In preservation of my self-interest, I don't "date" girls that are bad long term bets in case an accident occurs and I get stuck with them. ONS and the like is another story. I'm not sure if early sex and conquered anorexia are Red Flags for me, assuming the cock carousel hasn't been constant. Eating disorders can be conquered and permanently left behind. Temporary mental health issues are fairly common and everyone is vulnerable to them given enough stress.

Post: #13

(03-30-2016 07:16 PM)HankMoody Wrote:  Date? As in bang on the regular? Sure, why the fuck not?

Marry? Probably not.

Yeah Hank sums up my thoughts on this. Then again, just from being on this forum, I don't ever plan on getting married.

These days there's no such thing as a girl with no red flags

Post: #14

(03-30-2016 07:16 PM)HankMoody Wrote:  Date? As in bang on the regular? Sure, why the fuck not?

Marry? Probably not.

Sigh -- I agree with this in principle; I like repeat business.

However, since I'm a cool person, any girl I can tolerate enough to "date" or bang on the regular is likely pretty cool too, despite flaws/flags that make her less LTR-worthy. Hence it's never JUST sex, there is some pre/post sex hanging out, having fun experiences, etc.

As I get older and less excited about juggling multiple chicks, this makes me more susceptible to catching feelings. It's hard not to catch feelings for a cool girl you're having great sex and spending time with, even when you know it's not good to LTR her up. So far I've been alright at ending mini-relationships before they get too far, but it's not always simple.

"Harden the fuck up!" I know... it's difficult.