Post: #26

"What do I want?"

That is the question you have to figure out. Don't let this week pass without finding an answer to that question. Go to the library for as many hours a day until you figure out that question and then work your ass off. One BIG thing you have going for you is you have no debt(I assume) or any kids. But you will never be happy until you can answer the question you asked of "what do I want?" It's the most important question everyone of us will ever ask and the hardest one to answer because only you yourself can answer it. Also, drop the technology and spend more time amongst others. By the end of tomorrow you should have an organization which you will volunteer six hours a week. You will be rewarded more than the organization I promise

Post: #27

Somehow, I instinctively knew OP was Scandanavian by about halfway through his story. I instantly thought of this:

Post: #28

why do people think its a troll?

Ront, I can relate to you.

Internet addiction is a very serious threat to me getting shit done too. But you can use it to your advantage.

My suggestion would be to stop playing video games and spend your time on the internet looking for ways to improve your situation:

researching trade schools
learn programming
applying to better jobs

Post: #29

OP had a girlfriend in his early 20's, claims that he is muscular and good looking and is still whining. I am pale as a ghost, have scars, don't have a girlfriend currently, and am not good looking yet I go out every weekend drinking, gambling, hitting on girls, and playing team sports. I live in one of the toughest cities in the world for pickup and get shut down all the time, I rarely score but when it happens it makes it so much more special. So I could complain about my mediocre looks and lack of success but what good would it do? Thus you have to do your best to maximize what God has given you. To me, i've had the fortune of having a close group of friends with whom I can kick it anytime of the week and the last thing I would ever do is stay in my mom's basement and whine about life.

I don't feel sad for OP at all. Many issues can be fixed by learning game or going out and building a social circle. Go back to video-gaming, if that's what feels natural to you. Join a World of Warcraft group in your town or better yet attend a video gaming conference, i'm sure you'll meet plenty of other nerds that you can relate to. If you insist staying at home then I recommend you start by reading Neil Straus' Game or Rollo Tomassis "The Rational Male" perhaps by some sheer miracle these books will change your outlook on life and inspire you to be more of a man than you currently are.

Post: #30

Go read/ listen to David Deida - Way of the Superior Man.

Post: #31

Alright I will chime in for you here since I recognize a lot of the mannerisms you exhibit through my own life experience and you remind me a lot of my Swedish roommate.
I think you have a severe case of homeostasis. Apparently you have one of the big regimes of life pretty much down which is health. This is a good start, unfortunately you severely lack in the regimes of career/finance/purpose and socialness. One might define another by mindfulness/experiencing new things/travel/efficiency/work ethic but I can't find a nice encompassing word for that one. Let's save the last for a little later

My biggest question is why you got expelled from your university, was computer science that boring to you? The biggest thing to fix your social circle is to get out of the house into a bigger city since I am imagining you living in a small village shithole. Since I've lived in Sweden for a few months I know that most of Scandinavia is pretty generous when it comes to loans (atleast Sweden is) so you don't have an as big problem when you are moving out and having to pay your new rent without the help of your mom.

Now my path for you is going to involve you going to university since it is close to me, affordable for you and will make you a career as well as give access to university socialness. However, there are millions of paths that lead to Rome and if you can suddenly develop amazing work ethic this is probably not the best due to your age.

I hope to God your interest still lies somewhere in STEM or perhaps business if you decide sales is the way to go (you said you tried it for 2 months, but this is incredibly lackluster throughput for a skillset as massive as sales, furthermore I can't imagine your work ethic being developed enough). Next, you realise this is your last shot and you work your ass off to rush through your education with top notch understanding as well as become more social with emphasis on the former. The latter will not be too easy since you are 27 and time is definitely not on your side but since you say you are fit this shouldn't be as much of a problem. There are enough good (not amazing) universities throughout Scandinavia, pick one in a big city (100k pop minimum).

Since you are likely too late to start in Jan/Feb (try if you can!) you will start next September, that means you have 9 months left to wait until your new life begins. Your job is to spike your homeostasis out of its current form. I would recommend gaming your village/city to the ground so you lift your game from ground zero to level one, don't care about what others think of you, it doesn't matter as long as you don't end up in jail or get a false rape accusation. Even if you say hi to someone on the street and then realise you're scared shitless and run away it is better than the disgusting media-addicted drone state you are in now. Jump in a river, take cold showers, go hike through a forest solo for two weeks, train for an Iron Man if you're fit. There's so many stuff you can do to wake up your brain, don't wait until you think you have the best one. Go do.

I sense an excuse of "I used to be so social/cool/potent when I was a kid, why can't I magically rise to the occasion and be like that again"-mentality. I've had my little pro-gamer time as well in my youth. Just because it is different than watching TV/ hunt for news about celebrities doesn't make it productive. It doesn't work like that man, you've been down a slope of lazy, negative momentum for a really long time. Push the downward spiral up with little bumps, claw upwards in that deep ocean you're in. An interesting tidbit is that you do have the motivation to go to the gym. Try and slightly bend that motivation, pick up a martial art, speak to the people there.

You've seen through shards of the matrix in your youth, there is no going back, no happiness in your homeostasis. Be glad you have been awakened from the herds of sheep around you and appreciate, but you have to work, do and move. You sure as hell won't start making the best decisions immediately. Atleast you're moving. Motion is life.

Post: #32

Get your driver's license. Many jobs require it, and not having one will be a red flag to the women you'll soon be meeting.

Once that's done, you'll have accomplished something you can cross off the goal list you've no doubt made by now, and then you can build from there using some of the other suggestions here.

Good luck.

Post: #33

I saw that you have computer skills. Why not learn a computer language or two (complete two or three classes on Coursera or EdX), then once you have those, take a coding boot camp (MUST have job placement assistance) and use it to break into IT?

To motivate yourself, no gym or anything you find enjoyable until you do a couple lessons first thing in the AM.

Some of these boot camps even offer loans. It would be faster than a traditional program.

Another one - not sure if you're religious but if you are, finding a church that suits you and asking the pastor for advice might help and he might connect you to someone who might help. But you'd need to make that church a regular habit.

What state are you in?

Post: #34

My own actionable suggestion: Start looking at entry level sales jobs. Some of commissions-only, and some only require a high school degree. But they are legit jobs, and in the case of commissions-only jobs, the employer will be more inclined to hire you since they only have to pay you on successful sales you lock down. Then after even just a year or two years, you now meet the requirements for the base-salary jobs, and can discreetly apply to others.

So practice your interviewing technique. All the hardship in your life, like your dad passing away, toughened you up and taught you to be self-sufficient. Whatever happened in the past has led you to this point and given you a determination to prove yourself. Explain that you've been reading sales books by Brian Tracy or Neil Rackham. Torrent the books or just read up summaries on them. Really learn to sell yourself and work on your phone/Skype presence.

This will be important to any job, but the thing about sales is that the hiring managers specifically use your interviewing ability as one criterion. The sales field also looks favorably on retail and customer-relations experience. So even if you get a job at a restaurant or something, a couple of months there will help. But for the sales I outlined, you should be able to jump straight in. Think about the narrative you want to tell and why it leads you to whatever industry you want to go into.

I think it's a viable option for you if you really are in a nothing-to-lose situation. They are all pyramid-based schemes where only a few top performers make any money, but if you can apply that mentality and relentless pursuit of perfection as you did with CounterStrike, you will be one of those top performers and you'll have a new lease on life.

I graduated in May 2015 from a very good American university and had a few problems of my own. I had to get trazodone and a few other prescriptions to deal with horrible insomnia (fortunately it happened right after I graduated somehow, after I completed my senior design project). I started applying to jobs late. Then I choked endless interviews away, until I finally nailed one and got an offer in the SF Bay area in sales at a tech company and kept everything on track. I feel some sort of resonance for you because in my junior and senior year, I experienced a catastrophic death of my willingness to pursue my degree subject, but forced myself onward just to get my degree.

I hope this helps. Whatever you do, it'll be the right decision. I believe in you and your Swedish Piratebay genes.

Post: #35

OP reminds me of me.

Post: #36

^ You guys should form a social club together.

Post: #37

Go Kerouac on everyone's ass

Post: #38

Please don't go to the Thailand or the Philippines. There's enough guys in those places already who can't stop talking about how they used to be cool. Find a purpose, fix your life and then move to a country with a million beaches.

Post: #39

Lots of good advice in this thread.

I don't think the OP is ready to start traveling to remote countries for the girls.

Start with the basics... take a driving course, get that driver's license, take up programming or sales, start lifting, join a coed sports league, anything to get out of the house. Those are things that you can start doing immediately.

In the medium to long term, think about what kind of career you want to go into. Get your own apartment. Or just get a good paying job to make some bank in order to start a business later. Take some weekend getaways a couple times a year. Maybe a one week vacation to the beach to recharge your batteries.

Post: #40

I like the idea of getting your drivers license. Simple actionable step, an easy win.

What's your use of internet porn like? Hopefully not way too frequent.

My suggestion: send Xmas greetings to a bunch of people from your past and present. Your social network may have atrophied due to a lack of initiative on your part.

Give yourself a task to think of three people and write them a quick chat or message. You may need to add them on FB or Skype so that you can message them. You may even need to ask one of the people you wrote yesterday if they have a current contact for X friend you have in common. Do this for three new people each day.

Post: #41

Lots of good advice in here, either for the OP or any future readers who find themselves in a rut.

OP, first and foremost, end the pity party. It is okay to unload all of that here once, but don't mope to us anymore, to friends and family either, and most importantly to yourself.

Sure you may not be where you thought you would be at 27. Most of your friends from high school are probably married with kids and a mediocre job. Half of them would trade to be in your shoes with no responsibilities or baggage in a heart beat.

You have been successful in the past when you have applied yourself be it in video games, getting a gf, getting fit. The good news is that means you are not defective, when you have desired something and gotten after it you have achieved it.

You are where you are right now because of bad habits. Bad work habits, bad social habits, bad mental habits. The challenge is that you are the only one who can change those habits, your mom can't do it for you, strangers on the internet can't do it for you, old friends can't do it for you.

If you haven't figured out your life purpose yet that is okay, most people never do. Until you do figure it the most important thing to do is to do something. As mentioned by others here start small. And start NOW.

Momentum in little victories will do more to change your state than dreaming about some big achievement that is years away (college degree, wife, running a business, sipping bourbon on a balcony in Colombia while two hot chicks rub your dick).

You have to crawl before you can run. The difference between sitting still and crawling is far greater than the difference between crawling and running a fucking marathon. Once you are in motion you start to figure things out and shit happens.

Post: #42

(12-14-2015 08:10 PM)Matrixdude Wrote:  why do people think its a troll?

Rambling almost incoherent thoughts with various different contradictory things expressed in an overly emotional way (e.g. classic signs of a female typist). This might be a quirk of being a non-native speaker of English, but definitely gives me warning flags.

Post: #43

I am assuming the OP is real, and serious. If that is the case, OP, here is your plan:

1. Don't even think about girls right now. You're in monk mode long term until you get your shit together.

2. You're done with video games and fucking around on the Internet forever as of right now. This is not an option. Cold turkey. Uninstall CS, WOW, League of fucking Legends, all that shit. This is an addiction and it is taking life away from you, you need to kick it. Also, turn off all of your social media accounts for the time being and only reintroduce them as needed when your social life is back together (e.g. only bring Facebook back when you need it for Tinder/Bumble/Happn/whatever else). Use a program like SelfControl to block access to sites that waste your time.

3. Needless to say, keep fucking lifting and eating good foods, juicing (fruits and veggies, not roids), and overall keeping your body in shape. You will need to maintain a healthy, attractive physique for the challenges ahead. A healthy body is a healthy mind. Also, you'll want to look good when you start pursuing women again. No woman likes a fatty mc fat fat, no matter how much they flap their gums about how much they like "dad bods".

4. Cut out all the bullshit negative self-talk. You've called yourself a loser for the last time in this post. To be a winner you have to fucking think like one. Start carrying yourself like a winner, no matter how fucked up your life is, keep that head up, square those shoulders up, and stick that chest out. Meditate for at least 15 minutes a day. I recommend guided meditation, check out Jason Stephenson and The Honest Guys on Youtube. "Clearing Negativity" by The Honest Guys would be a good one for you. However, start with Jason Stephenson's "Back To Basics" beginner meditation for your first GM. In this meditation, he will teach you how to breathe and how to use guided meditations effectively.

5. Get your fucking driver's license, for fuck's sake. If your state's test is anything like mine was, it's not hard at all.

6. Figure out a way to put that computer science knowledge to good use. Get more current skills on Lynda.com ($25/month for standard subscription, worth it) or similar sites. Find online work or other freelance work on sites like Upwork.

7. Drive for Uber and Lyft on weekends and weekday mornings once you get a license and a car (I believe Breeze will let you rent one for driving with Uber/Lyft) and do other side hustles. You'll have plenty of time to go to da club once your money is right. The club will still be there when it is and it will be the same bullshit as it has always been.

8. Try to find a good steady well-paying job in meatspace. Easier said than done, but try.

9. Save up enough money to move out of Mom's house. I love visiting my childhood home but could never live there full time. Living with your parents past a certain age actually physically saps your mojo. I love my parents too, but you need to leave the nest.

10. Build up your social life and social circles through Meetup.com. Find out what your interests are, join the corresponding Meetup.com groups, meet people.

11. Learn a structured partner dance of some kind. Salsa, bachata, west coast swing, tango, cha-cha, merengue, whatever works for you. You'll meet women, you'll get comfortable with touching women, and you'll actually learn leadership skills, since being a man in a structured partner dance means LEADING. There are classes in your area I'm sure.

This will be hard. I'm still working on doing a lot of this shit myself. Best of luck to you man.

Post: #44

OP could simply head down the club and engage the first 30 white knights he sees.

Post: #45

My guess is that this is a chick troll. Look at the language:

Im a very athletic muscular good looking guy, trapped in a losers mind. A kid who excelled at everything 12 years ago, who had aspirations and motivation - Now living like a talentless extremely unsuccessful friendless mega loser. I dont even know who I am anymore, Ive started to questioning my own intelligence, my ability to even be successful enough to live a normal good life. I mean, If I were intelligent, why the **** would I find myself in my current pathetic living situation? Maybe something just ******* wrong with my head, some genetic shit or whatever the ****, I dont know. Maybe Im just not suited for todays society, or maybe Ive just lost myself somewhere in the track going from child to adulthood.


No normal guy calls himself a "muscular good looking guy trapped in a loser's mind."

No normal guy is such a pussy that he can't even type out swear words. Who writes f****?

And if I'm wrong, and this is a man, then I have one thing to say:

Get up off your goddamned ass, you whiny little puke.

Keep moving. Get out there and keep fighting. And don't come back a loser.

Now get going.

Check back in with us in 48 hours, and give us SPECIFIC ACTIONS you've taken in these areas to improve yourself:

1. Physical fitness.
2. Diet.
3. Knowledge.
4. Meeting women.

If you don't check back in with me here, on this thread, in 48 hours, and address me by name, then do not ever speak to me again. Ever.

Post: #46

(12-15-2015 02:22 AM)Quintus Curtius Wrote:  Get up off your goddamned ass, you whiny little puke.

The thing is, OP, you've already specifically laid out the very things you need to do next:

• Get a drivers license
• Find more work or a better job or study a trade/qualification for that purpose
• Move out of your moms house
• Find a chick who will bang your muscular body
  

But instead of doing them, you come here to whinge about your life. You don't really want to solve these problems, you just want to whine about the idea you should even have to. You're like a child sat in his own filth, crying to mommy to come and 'fix the problem', instead of just getting in the shower like a grown man.

People like you are the most depressing part of self-help forums like this. We get dozens of you. You show up briefly, to say your little violin piece, and that satisfies your pathetic thimble-sized instinct to take control of your life for another 4 years. We then never hear from you again. You want us to 'help you up?' How the hell can we do that over the internet?

The existence of people like you is a real downer. It clashes with the membership's passionate belief that every man can change himself and push his life in a new and honourable direction, to create an existence he can be proud of. Unfortunately, the many drive-by whingers like yourself we get tend to suggest a more sorrowful conclusion -- some men simply aren't born with self-efficacy.

I agree with QC's sentiment. We should add a rule here that if a whinger shows up, he is given an time-limited ultimatum to prove self-improvement action. If he doesn't present proof that he has taken self-improvement action within that time period, he is automatically banned on the grounds of being a hopeless case.

So there's your challenge, OP. Present proof of the following, within 14days, or go back to wallowing in your own filth.

• Proof you have been practicing driving in preparation for a test.
• Proof you have been looking for a room in a sharehouse so you can move out of your mom's house and get your dignity back.
• Proof you have been researching available trades/qualifications and the potential wages of those, or that you've been studying the requirements to get other decent-paid jobs in your area.
• Proof, in the form of a believable approach log, that you have been at least attempting to meet new women.
  

Post: #47

Quote:When I was 14 I got my first computer, 6 months later my first high speed broadband and then I started playing FPS games, mainly counter-strike.

Is motivation an issue? How long do you spend interacting with technology such as phones, games, pads, tv and internet per day?

Basically the tldr is that interactive electronics when overused can sap your motivation, energy and even give you anxiety, depression, attention problems etc. It also makes it more difficult to interact socially, compounding a lack of social support (including female intimacy/attention) that will further spiral you into negative places.

I'm going to write a post on this soon, but if you suffer from any of the above symptoms and use interactive electronics for more than 2 hours in a day, consider an electronic diet. Your dopamine system is the last thing you want to mess with right now.

Further details can be found in this book written by a prominent child psychiatrist.

Don't let the fact that the book is directed at this issue in children fool you. Overuse of electronics/screens is starting to be linked to a whole bunch of mental health, motivational, and physiological issues. Its being detected in children now (who are more sensitive to this in the short term), but I suspect there's a large group of adults that are not meeting their potential because of prolonged overexposure to interactive screens in childhood and into adulthood.

Post: #48

Is he japanese? I believe this is an increasing problem for the japenese.

Post: #49

Get any shit ass job, put in overtime, whatever. Get your driver's license, save a couple grand and then go rent a Uhaul truck for 20 bucks and move out. Even with a minimum wage job, you should be able to get this done in a few months if you're leeching off your parents. As far as apartment furnishings, you can get a lot of shit off craigslist for free and amazon delivers to your doorstep. Do some research into where you plan on moving such as

• low skill job opportunities
• public transportation
• average cost of rent
• drug problems and crime
• community colleges that teach shit like welding
• average cost of living
• nearby grocery stores
• nearby gyms
• social centers
• bars and clubs
  

Find some shitbox factory to work at within walking distance of where you plan on living and just work there until you figure out your next move. Save half your paychecks and you'll have a decent car inside of three months. It's not glamorous but it'll get the job done. All you have to do is put in some time.

Even though your living standards will suck, it beats living in your mother's basement. I don't entirely agree with all the posts on this thread, you shouldn't worry about girls right now, you should worry about getting your shit together financially so you can at least present yourself to the world as a man with a steady income, an apartment, and a reasonably functioning used car.

Maybe you could look into getting a trade.

Sales might not have been your thing, but no one who sticks to lifting for years can keep it up without passion. Look into being a personal trainer. In your spare time, learn something useful like Python, there's a thread around here somewhere on getting a job with a programming language.

I really hope this isn't a chick sperg-trolling us.

Post: #50

Recognize that your actions to date have caused your failure and frustrations, personal responsibility is the hallmark of a man. Stop repeating the pattern and you will get different results.

Right now you reek of desperation, why would a woman want to spend time with you? Fix your self internally, be ruthlessly devoted to your own improvement, and frankly forget about your 'need' of a woman until you have journeyed along this path for a while. Women love men who are self possessed, they sense this intuitively, and are near powerless to its effects.

Throw all the self help books and tapes in the bin, these only have the effect of externalizing the solution to your problems - this is a pussy way out, the actual solution is already inside you, you just haven't tapped it yet.

Train more and harder, take up martial arts, learn languages both natural and computer, devote your time to reading biographies of hugely successful men. Never brag about your progress, worse still don't be a fag who throws up gym progress and motivational quotes on facebook, real men don't brag or need validation.

As you do all of this, you walk with a correct posture, people will get out of your way in the street, they will avert their eyes first, and women will know that you are something unusually great in a swarming mass of babies, hipsters, and faggots.

Be ruthless in who you select to spend time with, lower men will attempt to leech your halo, women will attempt seek out incongruities in someone who is unusual to them.

Within six months you could have an exceptional social circle, be more knowledgeable and self educated, have a entrepreneurial business mindset and on your way to being self supporting. Following this you can do absolutely anything you desire, this is why we are blessed, yes blessed, to be men.