Post: #1

So I've been pretty depressed. In a downward spiral last four years, have just focused on trying to get better last few months. I've seen several psychologist/psychiatrists, I've taken a lot of meds, none have worked. I've been diagnosed with treatment resistant depression and major depressive episode. I don't have the energy to get out of bed in the morning and taking a shower is a challenge. I really don't enjoy anything anymore and I'm pretty numb.

I dropped my psychiatrist and meds, as a result my psychologist dropped me. Currently not seeing anyone and don't even know how to get better. I've accomplished a lot in life, lost weight, traveled the world, put money in the bank, but never really was happy. I've been a nomad for four years and the more I traveled the more isolated I felt. After a while focusing on interactions that would only result in a short term friendships didn't feel worth the effort. I did daygame for a while but was never really successful, also don't think a bunch of quick hook ups will solve anything.

I kind of feel like I've followed all the steps in how to make your life better (take action, and then get professional help) and I just feel like shit as a result. I have no motivation to do anything, I want to get better but have no idea how. I'm not on the verge of killing myself but I have nonstop suicidal ideations and think it's inevitable in like 3 months to a year.

What else can I do at this point?

Post: #2

Find a reason for living.

Or more accurately, make a reason for living.

This book has been helpful for me: http://www.amazon.com/The-Six-Pillars-Se...0553374397

Post: #3

(12-06-2015 06:15 PM)swfter2456 Wrote:  I really don't enjoy anything anymore and I'm pretty numb.

What else can I do at this point?

Let go of your demand life should be enjoyable. You're not alone in this, because everyone does. However, some people have a harder time letting go of that demand.

If you can do that and accept life is not about being happy, you may feel a large weight off your shoulders. Life is really about suffering and learning from that suffering. To live is to suffer. The more we try to have it all, life is there to catch us and say "Oh no you don't. You can't have the sexy model and sweet, humble, subservient girl all rolled into one. Nice try buddy."

Or whatever contradictory thing we're hoping for. Seeing that can also be depressing, but only because we're still holding on to it's possibility. It can be very liberating when giving up on a mission impossible. You realize you've been banging your head against a wall, and now that you've stopped your head doesn't hurt anymore.

Try to gain some clarity into just what it is you really want from life, and why it seems to keep alluding you as if you're trying to catch and hold onto a cloud.

You might find it's because to have it, two things which are completely opposite would have to be true and exist at the same time. A contradiction.

Post: #4

Come travel the world with some of us. It can be much more enjoyably than traveling alone. Nothing is better than having good friends that you can rely on. And a lot of us are open to making good friends. Everyone puts on a persona but most of us are all suffering in our own way.

Post: #5

(12-06-2015 06:15 PM)swfter2456 Wrote:  So I've been pretty depressed. In a downward spiral last four years, have just focused on trying to get better last few months. I've seen several psychologist/psychiatrists, I've taken a lot of meds, none have worked. I've been diagnosed with treatment resistant depression and major depressive episode. I don't have the energy to get out of bed in the morning and taking a shower is a challenge. I really don't enjoy anything anymore and I'm pretty numb.

I dropped my psychiatrist and meds, as a result my psychologist dropped me. Currently not seeing anyone and don't even know how to get better. I've accomplished a lot in life, lost weight, traveled the world, put money in the bank, but never really was happy. I've been a nomad for four years and the more I traveled the more isolated I felt. After a while focusing on interactions that would only result in a short term friendships didn't feel worth the effort. I did daygame for a while but was never really successful, also don't think a bunch of quick hook ups will solve anything.

I kind of feel like I've followed all the steps in how to make your life better (take action, and then get professional help) and I just feel like shit as a result. I have no motivation to do anything, I want to get better but have no idea how. I'm not on the verge of killing myself but I have nonstop suicidal ideations and think it's inevitable in like 3 months to a year.

What else can I do at this point?

Do you have any interests?

You've been a nomad for 4 years, so you're making money location-independent I guess? Or you're just living off of your savings?

Connect with people who have the same interests / who work in the same field as you. Then try to collaborate with them on a project. You can offer your time for free to help them out, since you don't seem to be in need of money. Just do it to connect with people and make friends. It's better to collaborate with others on a project than trying to make friends by hanging out at bars etc.

If you have been able to live off of your saving for four years that's cool, but it's not good to not work for fours years. That will make you depressed. You need to take up an activity. As I said, I would suggest to get in touch with companies in a field that you're interested in and volunteer your time. They will definitely be thankful, and I'm sure they will invite you to join them for things so that you will meet new people.

In which country are you at right now?

Post: #6

(12-06-2015 06:59 PM)LINUX Wrote:  Come travel the world with some of us. It can be much more enjoyably than traveling alone. Nothing is better than having good friends that you can rely on. And a lot of us are open to making good friends. Everyone puts on a persona but most of us are all suffering in our own way.

I fucking hated Bangkok when I first got there. Making good friends is what made me love it.

It's amazing how having one or two good buddies can be the difference between loving a place, and hating it. At least if you are going somewhere long term. It's no fun to live somewhere for months on end without some friends.

Post: #7

Join an gym and make some friends. As a nomad the places I have lived and enjoyed the most were places were I had a solid group of cool forum members to kick it with. Recently I went to Belgrade which is one of my favorite cities that I have been to for girls and lifestyle... but I had no group of friends or forum members there and after a month I started getting depressed.. stayed a few more months and got more depressed.

An the gym is the best cure for depression but it is also one of the harder things to find the motivation for when you are depressed.

Post: #8

(12-06-2015 06:15 PM)swfter2456 Wrote:  also don't think a bunch of quick hook ups will solve anything.

They might do more for you than you think, or more accurately one or some of them will. Some will be meaningless but not all have to be.

You havent given enough background to have your question answered well.

Post: #9

(12-06-2015 06:46 PM)Onto Wrote:  

(12-06-2015 06:15 PM)swfter2456 Wrote:  I really don't enjoy anything anymore and I'm pretty numb.

What else can I do at this point?

Let go of your demand life should be enjoyable. You're not alone in this, because everyone does. However, some people have a harder time letting go of that demand.

If you can do that and accept life is not about being happy, you may feel a large weight off your shoulders. Life is really about suffering and learning from that suffering. To live is to suffer. The more we try to have it all, life is there to catch us and say "Oh no you don't. You can't have the sexy model and sweet, humble, subservient girl all rolled into one. Nice try buddy."

Or whatever contradictory thing we're hoping for. Seeing that can also be depressing, but only because we're still holding on to it's possibility. It can be very liberating when giving up on a mission impossible. You realize you've been banging your head against a wall, and now that you've stopped your head doesn't hurt anymore.

Try to gain some clarity into just what it is you really want from life, and why it seems to keep alluding you as if you're trying to catch and hold onto a cloud.

You might find it's because to have it, two things which are completely opposite would have to be true and exist at the same time. A contradiction.

This makes me not want to live if I just have to suffer, I don't see the point.

(12-06-2015 08:11 PM)Ice Wrote:  

(12-06-2015 06:15 PM)swfter2456 Wrote:  So I've been pretty depressed. In a downward spiral last four years, have just focused on trying to get better last few months. I've seen several psychologist/psychiatrists, I've taken a lot of meds, none have worked. I've been diagnosed with treatment resistant depression and major depressive episode. I don't have the energy to get out of bed in the morning and taking a shower is a challenge. I really don't enjoy anything anymore and I'm pretty numb.

I dropped my psychiatrist and meds, as a result my psychologist dropped me. Currently not seeing anyone and don't even know how to get better. I've accomplished a lot in life, lost weight, traveled the world, put money in the bank, but never really was happy. I've been a nomad for four years and the more I traveled the more isolated I felt. After a while focusing on interactions that would only result in a short term friendships didn't feel worth the effort. I did daygame for a while but was never really successful, also don't think a bunch of quick hook ups will solve anything.

I kind of feel like I've followed all the steps in how to make your life better (take action, and then get professional help) and I just feel like shit as a result. I have no motivation to do anything, I want to get better but have no idea how. I'm not on the verge of killing myself but I have nonstop suicidal ideations and think it's inevitable in like 3 months to a year.

What else can I do at this point?

Do you have any interests?

You've been a nomad for 4 years, so you're making money location-independent I guess? Or you're just living off of your savings?

Connect with people who have the same interests / who work in the same field as you. Then try to collaborate with them on a project. You can offer your time for free to help them out, since you don't seem to be in need of money. Just do it to connect with people and make friends. It's better to collaborate with others on a project than trying to make friends by hanging out at bars etc.

If you have been able to live off of your saving for four years that's cool, but it's not good to not work for fours years. That will make you depressed. You need to take up an activity. As I said, I would suggest to get in touch with companies in a field that you're interested in and volunteer your time. They will definitely be thankful, and I'm sure they will invite you to join them for things so that you will meet new people.

In which country are you at right now?

No interests at this point, I just dont' care about anything, I can't bring myself to waste a day watching netflix, it's just gotten really bad. Last two years have been rough and lived of savings mostly, but had a few good months (honestly like 1.5 good months this year) In US right now

(12-06-2015 08:56 PM)Cr33pin Wrote:  Join an gym and make some friends. As a nomad the places I have lived and enjoyed the most were places were I had a solid group of cool forum members to kick it with. Recently I went to Belgrade which is one of my favorite cities that I have been to for girls and lifestyle... but I had no group of friends or forum members there and after a month I started getting depressed.. stayed a few more months and got more depressed.

An the gym is the best cure for depression but it is also one of the harder things to find the motivation for when you are depressed.

The gym stuff has never worked for me in regards to making friends. I've gotten to the point where I've gotten friendly with people and nothing has ever come out of it.

Post: #10

I should have read your original post closer.

I have also had some pretty bad depression the past year or so. Something I never experienced before on this level. I have very low energy these days, but it's getting better. For a while I was sleeping until 2-4PM and had no energy to wake up. Showering, cutting my hair, etc. were all exhausting. It would take me 2-3 hours to shit, shower and shave. I was fucking miserable, and I didn't even hardly realize it. I'd never had depression like that before. Now several months later I can tell looking back that mentally I was pretty fucked up for months on end. Maybe even a year. It takes a while to snap out of it, but I'm doing much better now.

My non-doctor opinion is that diet, exercise, sunlight, and lifestyle can fix a lot. I am extremely wary of any medications for depression. I'm uneducated in this, but most depressed people I know are on meds, and they are still fucked in the head. None of them exercise or change their lifestyle, and it doesn't seem like their doctors push them to. They just give them pills with side effects and then give them more pills to combat those side effects. Fucking madness.

A few things that have helped me.

1. Go to bed and wake up at a set time. This is still a struggle for me, but I find going to bed earlier and waking up earlier has helped me a lot. It takes time though. The more depressed I was the harder it was to do, but eventually I was able to start doing it.

2. Stop drinking. I have cut way back on my drinking and I think it helps. When I drink I get hungover, lay around all day, eat like shit, and it throws off my sleep and everything for several days.

3. Eat healthier. My diet always has a huge effect on my mental state. Start eating at more regular times. When I was really depressed I wouldn't eat for hours and hours and I'd get sleepy and low energy and headaches and it was fucking me up. Eat 3 square meals per day.

4. Morning cardio. I've only been doing this for a few days, but it's definitely making me feel good. Force yourself to go to the gym and do even just 20 minutes on an exercise bike. Throw in your headphones and listen to some music that pumps you up, or some audiobooks that are motivational for you.

Get some help man. Find a forum that specializes in this stuff. Preferably not a forum filled with people eating pills like they are candy.

Post: #11

Check this out also: /thread-39799.html

Post: #12

What is the source of your depression?

Please be brutally honest with yourself and with us. What is it that deep down inside you want but don't have, and don't believe you can have? What is the specifuc thing or things you are missing? Don't shut out any of the answers you suspect.

Then post it here.

Post: #13

(12-06-2015 06:46 PM)Onto Wrote:  

(12-06-2015 06:15 PM)swfter2456 Wrote:  I really don't enjoy anything anymore and I'm pretty numb.

What else can I do at this point?

Let go of your demand life should be enjoyable. You're not alone in this, because everyone does. However, some people have a harder time letting go of that demand.

If you can do that and accept life is not about being happy, you may feel a large weight off your shoulders. Life is really about suffering and learning from that suffering. To live is to suffer. The more we try to have it all, life is there to catch us and say "Oh no you don't."

Thanks bro, what you wrote really struck a chord with me! I'm going to implement this into my day-to-day. I shall try to take any bit of happiness as a mere bonus rather than thinking of happiness as something we are supposed to feel regularly.

Post: #14

^ I agree with OP that that is shithouse advice. Damn, if I believed that life was about suffering I'd probably consider offing myself too.

Depression is a signal that you're doing something wrong in your life, or failing to do something fundamental. Thus its boldily purpose is to compel you to rectify that.

Note the very action of the OP - depressed people often go online and ask these questions to help discover the path out of their depression, and they often post background information to help others with their suggestions. Frankly, saying "just accept that life is suffering" is absolutely disgusting.

Exiting depression is not a medical issue, as OP has become aware. Doctors like to treat it as such because of their pervasive moral failings.

Exiting depression is a case of either discovering the root cause of the depression (through introspection and asking others etc) and then fixing, attaining or dismantling that; or it is a case of just making massive life changes in attempt to re-land in a better place.

Post: #15

Are you drinking alcohol? for some people,even moderate amounts of alcohol even one or two a day can really depress mood.

Also get full workups from medical, certain types of illnesses, thyroid problems can cause depression. There are more extensive tests for thyroid than the usual, like five variables rather than two, I forget.

Post: #16

(12-06-2015 10:51 PM)swfter2456 Wrote:  The gym stuff has never worked for me in regards to making friends. I've gotten to the point where I've gotten friendly with people and nothing has ever come out of it.

Na bruh..... the gym is not for making friends, the gym is for making gainz.

Gainz make everything better. Get enough gainz and you dont need no fucking friends.. you just kick it with your biceps.

Post: #17

Hate it? Change it!

Change your life, you need to shake it up. Move locations, countries, force yourself to do very different things. Hobbies, outings, take a weird ass job for the hell of it.

Also, exercise HARD. Ain't no funk that can survive an hours run in soft sand with sunlight on your back mate.

Chin up, good luck.

When you are going through hell, just keep going.

Post: #18

In which country are you located right now?

Post: #19

(12-07-2015 01:18 AM)Phoenix Wrote:  ^ I agree with OP that that is shithouse advice. Damn, if I believed that life was about suffering I'd probably consider offing myself too.

Depression is a signal that you're doing something wrong in your life, or failing to do something fundamental. Thus its boldily purpose is to compel you to rectify that.

Note the very action of the OP - depressed people often go online and ask these questions to help discover the path out of their depression, and they often post background information to help others with their suggestions. Frankly, saying "just accept that life is suffering" is absolutely disgusting.

Exiting depression is not a medical issue, as OP has become aware. Doctors like to treat it as such because of their pervasive moral failings.

Exiting depression is a case of either discovering the root cause of the depression (through introspection and asking others etc) and then fixing, attaining or dismantling that; or it is a case of just making massive life changes in attempt to re-land in a better place.

That depends on the type of depression. If you're going through a rough patch in life then, sure, exiting depression might be a matter of changing some things.

But some depression is, in fact, a medical issue.

The reason we know this is that the brains of people with chronic depression appear different when looked at on an fMRI. Specifically, the prefrontal cortex responds differently (more info here).

The brain is an organ, after all. The type of depression that alters its response means the brain has ceased to function correctly -- like the stomach that can really no longer break down food correctly. That means some people can't shake it off without some type of medical attention, just like they can't shake it off an ulcer.

Since we perceive the world with our brains, our perception of the world gets re-jigged when it's not working right. So it needs to be taken seriously and treated medically.

***

I've been noticing lately that deep down liberals and feminists are more anti-science then they'd like us to think, specifically, when it comes to their flat Earth mentality regarding trans-gender people. A man cannot be a woman no matter what. But they're so blinded by ideology they can't see that.

In that light, I'd like people here to be more open-minded when it comes to discussing science that might not fit our own agenda and perceptions of the world.

Yes, whining about depression is like some sort of sacrament to the SJW crowd. And yes, Prozac and drugs like it are all over-prescribed. And yes most people can exit depression if they try.

But there is a group of people who can't. And the reason that concerns us is because that group seems to be men, since they make up the majority of suicides -- by far. That goes double for male war veterans.

The male-ness of depression is probably one reason depression doesn't get studied more. You hear about post-partum depression more than you hear about men killing themselves. That's especially ironic, since so few women even have kids anymore.

This subject deserves more attention. For more info, Google: depression, brain, fMRI with no quotes.

Post: #20

(12-06-2015 06:15 PM)swfter2456 Wrote:  I dropped my psychiatrist and meds, as a result my psychologist dropped me. Currently not seeing anyone and don't even know how to get better. I've accomplished a lot in life, lost weight, traveled the world, put money in the bank, but never really was happy. I've been a nomad for four years and the more I traveled the more isolated I felt. After a while focusing on interactions that would only result in a short term friendships didn't feel worth the effort. I did daygame for a while but was never really successful, also don't think a bunch of quick hook ups will solve anything.

What else can I do at this point?

I totally understand being tired of putting in the effort into short term friendships and hookups.

OP a lot of times we tend to glorify & romanticize travelling to exotic spots, sex with beautiful women and the whole international jet-setter lifestyle. I've personally found it very enjoyable in small doses.

But you can't put a price on having some good friends you've known for years showing up at your door unannounced with a 12 pack & a bottle of Glenlivet on a Wednesday. Or the warm embrace of a girl who truly loves you. Or just the simplicity of it all.

Partying and banging my way through Europe was supposed to fun. But strangely, i felt lonely & profoundly depressed while all alone in a hotel room near downtown Bratislava after 4 months of travelling alone and no social contact besides other travelers and drunk people at clubs. In contrast, the happiest & most content I've been in my life was right after college when i had an okay paying job, my best friends and whole social circle from college (& some from HS) and a girl i loved. Being loved and having people around that care about you does wonders for your mental health.

How about downsizing?

Like replacing random hookups for a steady girlfriend. Getting a solid group of friends or re-kindling some old friendships. Reach out to some old friends you might have lost contact with.

Post: #21

OP - I'll just put this here in case you haven't read the other recent depression thread.

Post: #22

(12-07-2015 01:18 AM)Phoenix Wrote:  ^ I agree with OP that that is shithouse advice. Damn, if I believed that life was about suffering I'd probably consider offing myself too.

Depression is a signal that you're doing something wrong in your life, or failing to do something fundamental. Thus its boldily purpose is to compel you to rectify that.

Note the very action of the OP - depressed people often go online and ask these questions to help discover the path out of their depression, and they often post background information to help others with their suggestions. Frankly, saying "just accept that life is suffering" is absolutely disgusting.

Exiting depression is not a medical issue, as OP has become aware. Doctors like to treat it as such because of their pervasive moral failings.

Exiting depression is a case of either discovering the root cause of the depression (through introspection and asking others etc) and then fixing, attaining or dismantling that; or it is a case of just making massive life changes in attempt to re-land in a better place.

Those are pretty strong words. Maybe you feel that way because you're attached to the idea life should be a bowl of cherries. You wouldn't be alone in that. Just look at how advertising sells happiness and freedom. Those ideas wouldn't sell so well if people weren't so attached to them.

Paradoxically letting go of one's attachment to their demand for happiness can actually bring some about.

Life is like a cosmic comedy and if you look at comedy it's all founded on suffering, exposing the gap between expectations (demands) and reality.

One could say, "Why does suffering have to exist?" Well, if it didn't, there would be no comedy.

Once you catch yourself in the moment of your suffering and see how it's being caused by your own demand life be your way, and also how to have it that way is impossible because of contradictory requirements, you very well might start laughing your ass off about it all.

That may sound horrible for some, but I've found it's where real freedom and happiness are.

Post: #23

One problem with asking for depression advice on a Internet forum is that there will be many recommendations. Clinically depressed people typically have very low energy and motivation as the OP has described. The depressed person barely has enough energy to make a few small changes in their life so the large quantity of recommendations can be overwhelming and make things worse rather than making things better.

So my advice to the OP is pick something to work on but don't pick everything. Focus on taking action but don't overwhelm yourself by trying to take action on too many things at once.

(12-07-2015 01:18 AM)Phoenix Wrote:  Depression is a signal that you're doing something wrong in your life, or failing to do something fundamental. Thus its boldily purpose is to compel you to rectify that.

(12-06-2015 10:55 PM)RioNomad Wrote:  My non-doctor opinion is that diet, exercise, sunlight, and lifestyle can fix a lot.

I strongly agree with these statements. In my opinion, the biggest problem with viewing depression as a symptom of poor health and lifestyle habits which can be cured through health and lifestyle improvements is that this methodology doesn't work well with the recurring revenue business models of the psychiatry, psychology, and pharmaceutical industries. Some of the people in those industries might have good intentions but you don't have to be a rocket scientist to see that those industries are much more focused on recurring revenue than on the welfare of their customers.

I'm sure that some people's depression has roots in psychological traumas that will require more than health and lifestyle improvements to treat. However, it seems logical that these problems will be easier to treat in a person whose brain is functioning optimally due to proper sleep, nutrition, exercise, social engagement, exposure to sunlight and fresh air, etc.

Check out the book "The Depression Cure: The 6-Step Program to Beat Depression without Drugs" by Stephen Ilardi who is a psychology PhD and researcher. He also has some short videos on youtube which summarize his approach to using drugs as somewhat of a last resort for depression treatment.

Post: #24

(12-07-2015 05:49 AM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  That depends on the type of depression. If you're going through a rough patch in life then, sure, exiting depression might be a matter of changing some things.

But some depression is, in fact, a medical issue.

The reason we know this is that the brains of people with chronic depression appear different when looked at on an fMRI. Specifically, the prefrontal cortex responds differently (more info here).

The brain is an organ, after all. The type of depression that alters its response means the brain has ceased to function correctly -- like the stomach that can really no longer break down food correctly. That means some people can't shake it off without some type of medical attention, just like they can't shake it off an ulcer.

Since we perceive the world with our brains, our perception of the world gets re-jigged when it's not working right. So it needs to be taken seriously and treated medically.

I agree with a lot of this but I’m not sure what you mean by “treated medically”. I think prescription drugs should be a very last resort. Perhaps 1% or less of people on those drugs should actually be on those drugs in my opinion.

You are correct that the brain is an organ. The brain's health responds to various factors such as sleep, nutrition, and exercise just like other organs. If you have good health habits then it is unlikely you will get that ulcer...or have mental health problems.

“The brains of people with chronic depression appear different when looked at on an fMRI” AND the brains of people with excellent health habits appear different when looked at on an fMRI. The brain’s physical structure can be altered by better sleep, nutrition, exercise, etc. It doesn't require a magic pill to alter the image of the brain in that fMRI. A good night's sleep, some green vegetables, exercise, or meditation will do more to alter the brain's physical structure in a positive way with fewer negative side effects than the magic pill.

For example, research has shown that short periods of regular meditation change the physical structure of the brain - less gray matter in the amygdala (lizard brain) and more gray matter in the pre-frontal cortex – see this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8rRzTtP7Tc starting at 3:30

Another issue relates to simple human psychology. People are comfort seeking and short-term thinking. People rationalize all the time. It is very common for people to rationalize that something isn’t their fault or isn’t within their control (depression or obesity being the result of genetics) rather than admitting to themselves that they are doing something wrong (poor health habits). So when you allow people to believe their problems could be due to genetics and fixed via magic pills then a huge percentage of these people will rationalize that pills are the answer when better health habits are really the answer.

The rationalization hamster is a bigger beast than most people realize. The mechanism that convinces western women that their bad behavior is never their fault is the same mechanism that convinces millions of people that their problems can be fixed by pills rather than better health habits.

Prescription drugs do not solve mental health problems. They only suppress symptoms. Better sleep solves problems. Better nutrition solves problems. Exercise solves problems. Meditation solves problems. I just don't understand the logic behind using prescription drugs before improving health habits when (1) prescription drugs have negative side effects but health habits don't and (2) prescription drugs only suppress symptoms but health habits can solve the problem.

Post: #25

(12-06-2015 11:46 PM)Phoenix Wrote:  ^ I agree with OP that that is shithouse advice. Damn, if I believed that life was about suffering I'd probably consider offing myself too.

Then post it here.

What Onto is talking about is logotherapy which has been shown to work very well compared to the works of Freud and Jung. Ol' boy was thrown into a concentration camp during WWII and came back to tell us what the determining factor was between those who lived and those who died (apart from uncontrolled circumstances like the gas chamber) It came out to be the determing factor was "finding meaning in suffering" and "love."

You can read the book or check out some quotes from it here : https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/...r_E_Frankl
You should read the book.