Post: #4876

(10-11-2015 09:37 AM)XPQ21 Wrote:  I occasionally (maybe once every two weeks) get opened by a woman instead of me having to send all the messages. Interestingly, two of the best looking women whom I went on dates with were women who opened me rather than vice versa, but when I actually went on dates with them they were totally not into even the most mild form of "kino" or even discussing anything sexual at all. I was able to stay in contact with one of them for a little bit, but she gave me the 'really busy with work' thing in response to my ideas for second dates and eventually ghosted. I never saw either of them again.

It's exciting when one gets solicited like that because you think you must have a good shot, and then when you finally meet up you can rapidly tell that they are probably just going to waste your time. Maybe there's something I could have done differently in regards to these cases.

The problem with being in my 30s is that the women who open me are generally in their 30s as well, and while some of them are attractive, I think many of them are well into the "Epiphany Phase" provider-hunter territory. I definitely do not come off as a "provider type" on dates.

I find in this situation it is the women who just does not think you are physically attractive. Which is fascinating considering they pre-approved your photo. You can tell very early in the online date the first minute if she is into you. I find men look like their photos much more than females, so it doesn't make much sense.

In general, I think online success rate in person is very random and related to looks more than game.

online was made for the boring good looking guys to get laid

Post: #4877

(10-14-2015 02:10 PM)XPQ21 Wrote:  

(10-14-2015 08:02 AM)griffinmill Wrote:  One recent example was this 27 year old blonde POF chick who was hitting me up with provocative photos. After having left it a while to reply to a text she reeled me back in with "we'll have to meet up sometime". So, after a few text exchanges building rapport I suggested meeting.

Her response was "I'm really busy, but text me again in about two weeks". Gents, that type of behaviour is unforgivable. Number deleted immediately.

I allowed myself to get strung along by a weirdo like that early on in my online dating game when I didn't know any better.

She lived some distance from me and used instant messenger to send me sexy pics, etc. and wanted to chat with me every day, saying how cute I was and so on, but would ignore me or blow me off every time I pushed to meet, saying how busy she was with her family life - while at the same time texting me pictures of her out with the girls at da club on the weekends.

After (like an idiot) I allowed myself to be put through way too much of this, I eventually called her out on her shit (I don't bother doing this anymore either, as I know now the general wisdom is that it's pointless) and she went full psycho-bitch-histrionic on me, calling me up screaming and sending me nasty messages on the site and saying I was a psychopath.

In the grip of her anger, however, the truth came out - she already had a bunch of dates scheduled with other dudes and was just stringing me along because she was bored and needed a diversion, or perhaps a last-resort option if nothing else panned out.

Never again.

In the couple years I have been using this site, I have only had like 2 or 3 girls send me naughty pics before any kind of meeting, and those girls all ended up being time wasters that were never going to meet me.

From my experience, girls that sound too good to be true certainly are. Girls that get you all amped up know what they are doing.

As for OKC being on the decline - I don't notice it really. I am doing just as much work as I have been off and on and getting just as many results for the most part. I just moved across the country about 4 weeks ago. Changed my location, got a couple notches so far, one of which has turned into a plate, and I have a few other promising dates lined up.

It's still a numbers game. The one thing I will say is that I have noticed it getting a little more difficult to narrow down the chicks that are actually down to text and meetup. There are more time wasters on here ... but my game has been tweaked a bit from when I first started and I don't send messages to the volume that I used to.

I've still never used Tinder so I can't comment if OKC is a better avenue for getting laid, but it is certainly better than POF. One thing I will say is that meeting people over the internet is not going to be "going out of style" so if people really notice is being on the decline and it's not just rationalization then the question will be what the next "big thing" is going to be.

Post: #4878

Is okcupid a good way to check average look of women in different countries?
Why almost all the chicks are fat and have a pierced face?

Post: #4879

^Yes and no. Some cities are better than others. Check some of the cities with hotter women like Miami, San Diego, Santa Barbara, Los Angeles, New York, Tuscon, Phoenix, for some of the better looking usa cities.

I just checked "Kiev, Ukraine" and holy shit, that is probably the best looking city in the world for women.

Post: #4880

(10-28-2015 03:12 PM)eradicator Wrote:  ^Yes and no. Some cities are better than others. Check some of the cities with hotter women like Miami, San Diego, Santa Barbara, Los Angeles, New York, Tuscon, Phoenix, for some of the better looking usa cities.

I just checked "Kiev, Ukraine" and holy shit, that is probably the best looking city in the world for women.

Yes it is, even better than Russia. I checked Australia and NZ because I have a job offer over there and the women are disgusting

Post: #4881

So don't leave? Stay in Ukraine

Post: #4882

Background: A couple weeks ago I had given my # to a chick off POF. Since she took at least a week to use said #, she was totally out of my memory bank by the time she texted me at 3:45am one morning.

When I finally saw the text, I didn't know who it was so it slipped my mind. Some 36 hours later - while I was pulling up in another chick's driveway I called the mysterious # only to have the female on the other line not even recognize my # or who she intended to call, so I hung up.

Then just this morning, I received this ramble ....*The () are mine

11:21am Unknown chick: I found you on pof in my inbox I don't like how you came @ me either when I called you I'm an attractive woman I have a lot of men [email protected] an(d) I called you an(d) you made it seem like I was supposed to remember exactly who you were when I called you2days before you called me back you didn't know who I was either in just thought you should know that when your('e) on a dating website have a bless day sir

11:51am MDP: LOL

...just shows POF is the "catfish"(bottom dwellers) of the online dating websites

Fuck outta here

Post: #4883

^ I have no idea what that woman was trying to say. She needs to attend a 2nd grade English class to educate herself about run on sentences.

That text was comical and I like your response. It's impossible to argue with an idiot.


Edit: I disabled my OKC account a few days ago because I'm tired of investing time into it. Need a break and I just got into a mini relationship with a pretty decent girl. Great body with a solid personality. She makes me food and doesn't drink as much as I do. Claims to have a single digit notch count (not buying).

I'm content for the time being. Mentally exhausted from juggling too many things at once. The break is much needed to recharge the batteries.

Post: #4884

(10-14-2015 08:02 AM)griffinmill Wrote:  One recent example was this 27 year old blonde POF chick who was hitting me up with provocative photos. After having left it a while to reply to a text she reeled me back in with "we'll have to meet up sometime". So, after a few text exchanges building rapport I suggested meeting.

Her response was "I'm really busy, but text me again in about two weeks". Gents, that type of behaviour is unforgivable. Number deleted immediately.

[/quote]

In the couple years I have been using this site, I have only had like 2 or 3 girls send me naughty pics before any kind of meeting, and those girls all ended up being time wasters that were never going to meet me.

I agree Stalin....if there is one thing that is true...that's it.

MrXY also mentioned in another post how you can never really tell from a woman's profile how she is going to be on a date.

Here is what is true. You can tell the women you get nowhere with by how sexual she is in the beginning. I have seen this over and over again. It's the ones that are overtly sexual in the beginning that lead to nothing or just a waste of time. They are a head case. You can't pin them down. I have some get naked in my car and then refuse to come to my house. Then send more topless pics and refuse to come over. Or the classic I'm bisexual and want you to join me and my girlfriend. They never work out.

Maybe on Craigslist...but not on a dating site. They get you caught up in their drama ....

If you do this long enough the same thing repeats itself. Each time it's tempting to go along but the results are always the same.

Meanwhile that cute and demure librarian could be sticking her tongue down your throat in the parking lot after a few drinks at the local lounge. Then excited to be on your rotation .... She is my target.

I find this to be way more common than the ones that come on sexual.

Post: #4885

Quote: Here is what is true. You can tell the women you get nowhere with by how sexual she is in the beginning. I have seen this over and over again. It's the ones that are overtly sexual in the beginning that lead to nothing or just a waste of time. They are a head case. You can't pin them down.

I've had the opposite experience. Girls who are sexual in a subtle or overt way at the start usually pan out for me, so long as I have the logistics down. But these girls are a head case. They're usually not the most stable or the most psychologically healthy. You also have to look out for serious buyer's remorse with these girls.

Post: #4886

(10-27-2015 04:26 AM)B-Nut Wrote:  

(10-11-2015 09:37 AM)XPQ21 Wrote:  I occasionally (maybe once every two weeks) get opened by a woman instead of me having to send all the messages. Interestingly, two of the best looking women whom I went on dates with were women who opened me rather than vice versa, but when I actually went on dates with them they were totally not into even the most mild form of "kino" or even discussing anything sexual at all. I was able to stay in contact with one of them for a little bit, but she gave me the 'really busy with work' thing in response to my ideas for second dates and eventually ghosted. I never saw either of them again.

It's exciting when one gets solicited like that because you think you must have a good shot, and then when you finally meet up you can rapidly tell that they are probably just going to waste your time. Maybe there's something I could have done differently in regards to these cases.

The problem with being in my 30s is that the women who open me are generally in their 30s as well, and while some of them are attractive, I think many of them are well into the "Epiphany Phase" provider-hunter territory. I definitely do not come off as a "provider type" on dates.

I find in this situation it is the women who just does not think you are physically attractive. Which is fascinating considering they pre-approved your photo. You can tell very early in the online date the first minute if she is into you. I find men look like their photos much more than females, so it doesn't make much sense.

In general, I think online success rate in person is very random and related to looks more than game.

online was made for the boring good looking guys to get laid

I went on a second date with a woman the other night who hit me up a month and a half after the first date. Nothing much physical happened on the first date, and I expected her to go away forever, but then she suddenly wants to go on a second.

On the second date I could immediately tell she wasn't into me at all - I had a feeling that she was going to be a waste of my time, and she was.

So why did she even want to go on a second? Did I become ugly in the month or so between dates?

She was in her mid-20s and a 7 going on 8, though. She's probably been on dozens of dates recently...in fact I know it to be the case as they've been on so many the end up talking about them without even realizing it because it's such a huge part of their lives.

It was an uphill battle to begin with.

Post: #4887

Quote:In the couple years I have been using this site, I have only had like 2 or 3 girls send me naughty pics before any kind of meeting, and those girls all ended up being time wasters that were never going to meet me.

Three women have done that to me. One was a complete time-waster as you say, and the other two did actually meet me. Both were somewhat heavier in real life than their pics which were likely old. Made out with both on the first date, one grabbed my dick, but I didn't have the logistics to go for it on the first date and I never heard from either of them again.

On the few women who have opened _me_ that I have met I have struck out completely. Not sure exactly what's going wrong, but maybe they're the most picky about me not looking exactly like my pics. All of them were pretty low "match" percentages (low 60s) and we didn't seem to have much in common. Don't know, but I should probably stop even bothering!

Post: #4888

(10-29-2015 02:01 PM)griffinmill Wrote:  

Quote: Here is what is true. You can tell the women you get nowhere with by how sexual she is in the beginning. I have seen this over and over again. It's the ones that are overtly sexual in the beginning that lead to nothing or just a waste of time. They are a head case. You can't pin them down.

I've had the opposite experience. Girls who are sexual in a subtle or overt way at the start usually pan out for me, so long as I have the logistics down. But these girls are a head case. They're usually not the most stable or the most psychologically healthy. You also have to look out for serious buyer's remorse with these girls.

Yes, that has happened to me (multiple times, arg!) as well. It seems for the most part, if you don't close on the first date with this type, ASD goes through the roof and you never see them again, even to the point that they'll say you were the one who took things too far (after they were all over you).

Sadly, at the end of the day, for me right now I think it's best to try to close with this type on the first date if I like, actually want to have sex. My looks/game does not appear to be good enough to pull off the "close with sex on the second date after you hold back on the first". I just get disqualified.

Post: #4889

Haven't been here in a while.. good to see this thread is still going! Since I'm rarely around, I'll just dump a bunch of thoughts at once:

Easy come easy go -- describes the ones that seem overly open to escalation in the very beginning. It's not just the overtly sexual behavior / comments / etc., but also other things. The ones that give give you their number (without being asked) in the first few messages are another example of chicks that flake almost 100% of the time.

In my experience (been pulling girls from OKC and POF off and on since 2009), the online thing is cyclical and highly dependent on when and where you try. In 2010, for example, I banged about 10 girls from POF, but couldn't even seem to land a date on OKC -- whereas in the summer of 2014, I was getting a reply rate of around 30% on OKC, but had to work my ass off to even get an initial reply (that would go nowhere) from POF. It always helps to try multiple places (both online and not).

While it's definitely true that a woman's chance of going ghost goes down drastically after you sleep with her, in practice things tend to go slower for me than what's typically recommended here:

First Date Bangs: 19%
Second date: Around 70%
Third date: The rest
Fourth or later: Only one girl, ever (I think)

Post: #4890

(10-29-2015 09:35 PM)44delta Wrote:  Haven't been here in a while.. good to see this thread is still going! Since I'm rarely around, I'll just dump a bunch of thoughts at once:

Easy come easy go -- describes the ones that seem overly open to escalation in the very beginning. It's not just the overtly sexual behavior / comments / etc., but also other things. The ones that give give you their number (without being asked) in the first few messages are another example of chicks that flake almost 100% of the time.

In my experience (been pulling girls from OKC and POF off and on since 2009), the online thing is cyclical and highly dependent on when and where you try. In 2010, for example, I banged about 10 girls from POF, but couldn't even seem to land a date on OKC -- whereas in the summer of 2014, I was getting a reply rate of around 30% on OKC, but had to work my ass off to even get an initial reply (that would go nowhere) from POF. It always helps to try multiple places (both online and not).

While it's definitely true that a woman's chance of going ghost goes down drastically after you sleep with her, in practice things tend to go slower for me than what's typically recommended here:

First Date Bangs: 19%
Second date: Around 70%
Third date: The rest
Fourth or later: Only one girl, ever (I think)

Yeah if your not having sex by the 3rd date it's them not you. Next ...bye bye

Post: #4891

(10-29-2015 07:51 PM)XPQ21 Wrote:  [quote='B-Nut' pid='1137645' dateline='1445938016']
[quote='XPQ21' pid='1128454' dateline='1444574272']
I went on a second date with a woman the other night who hit me up a month and a half after the first date. Nothing much physical happened on the first date, and I expected her to go away forever, but then she suddenly wants to go on a second.

On the second date I could immediately tell she wasn't into me at all - I had a feeling that she was going to be a waste of my time, and she was.

So why did she even want to go on a second? Did I become ugly in the month or so between dates?

She was in her mid-20s and a 7 going on 8, though. She's probably been on dozens of dates recently...in fact I know it to be the case as they've been on so many the end up talking about them without even realizing it because it's such a huge part of their lives.

It was an uphill battle to begin with.

For those dates, cut your losses. If I was you, I would have packed it up and left her there.

You don't even need to say much. "I'm going to go," or "This isn't fun, I'll see you around" is all you need to say. There are times where a girl has asked me why and after the reason(s) I provide, she begs for another chance and tries super hard to be interesting or entertaining. Other entitled bratty girls will just say "ok" and watch you leave with a shit eating grin on her face.

It will be interesting to see if she hits you up again.

Post: #4892

(09-21-2015 04:47 PM)XPQ21 Wrote:  So what's the deal with these chicks who, when you message them, they shoot you a single message back where they seem interested, and when you follow up with a second message to try to continue the conversation, even maybe just an hour after their response, you never hear from them again? This seems to be happening to me constantly lately and is really annoying. What the fuck is the purpose of this game? To get validated by seeing that you're a real person and not some spammer? Am I just an option that they're pinging back to get on the hook in case something else doesn't pan out? To just cause general annoyance?

I call 'em "One-Hit Wonders", and such accounts for a good 95% of the replies I get on the fuckin' thing. That's why I try to set up a meet so fast.

Post: #4893

(10-25-2015 05:56 PM)Valhalla Wrote:  Girls don't even care to visit your profile. At all. Not even to check it out.

I average 50 girls a week that visit my profile. That is down from a couple years ago when I got over 100. The biggest single drop in vistors was when OKC went from the old browsing layout to the current one.

Post: #4894

I'm pretty much done with OKC, and stick strictly with Tinder. I joined this forum initially upon seeing this thread and reading most of it.

Just don't have the energy knowing that their inbox is open to anybody and the response rate does seem to be lower than it used to be for reasons I can predict knowing what I know now. Yes, maybe I need to shell out some money and get those Modeling pics with a photographer as a thread starter suggested to give myself a boost, but FUCK that I say. Not worth the effort. My usual pictures got the job done before.

Tinder has it's own problems but the Right swipe and gaining access to her inbox by knowing that she matched with you, makes it a bit different in how the convo starts. I.E. I ask a lot of them in so many words, why they swiped me and get a good enough answer if they don't ignore the message.

On Tinder, you are also spared the HEIGHT stats which girls take into account. She can only guess and ask you for it if that's a big deal to them. She won't reject you from the get-go for seeing that you're only 5'10. If you're already "tall and handsome" and got your picture game down, this might not be an issue.

Post: #4895

(10-31-2015 02:10 PM)The Wire Wrote:  

(10-25-2015 05:56 PM)Valhalla Wrote:  Girls don't even care to visit your profile. At all. Not even to check it out.

I average 50 girls a week that visit my profile. That is down from a couple years ago when I got over 100. The biggest single drop in vistors was when OKC went from the old browsing layout to the current one.

At the height of the summer I was averaging in the 40s. It's dropped off significantly for me lately, down to the low 20s now, as I haven't updated my profile recently and the winter is coming on, I think.

Post: #4896

(10-30-2015 08:20 AM)Remington Wrote:  

(10-29-2015 07:51 PM)XPQ21 Wrote:  [quote='B-Nut' pid='1137645' dateline='1445938016']
[quote='XPQ21' pid='1128454' dateline='1444574272']
I went on a second date with a woman the other night who hit me up a month and a half after the first date. Nothing much physical happened on the first date, and I expected her to go away forever, but then she suddenly wants to go on a second.

On the second date I could immediately tell she wasn't into me at all - I had a feeling that she was going to be a waste of my time, and she was.

So why did she even want to go on a second? Did I become ugly in the month or so between dates?

She was in her mid-20s and a 7 going on 8, though. She's probably been on dozens of dates recently...in fact I know it to be the case as they've been on so many the end up talking about them without even realizing it because it's such a huge part of their lives.

It was an uphill battle to begin with.

For those dates, cut your losses. If I was you, I would have packed it up and left her there.

You don't even need to say much. "I'm going to go," or "This isn't fun, I'll see you around" is all you need to say. There are times where a girl has asked me why and after the reason(s) I provide, she begs for another chance and tries super hard to be interesting or entertaining. Other entitled bratty girls will just say "ok" and watch you leave with a shit eating grin on her face.

It will be interesting to see if she hits you up again.

I'd guess she won't, but I've got two more dates this week and am still seeing one of my FBs I met off the site earlier from time to time, so...

You're probably right that it is best to cut one's losses early, but I guess it's not really my style - I don't like stooping to their level. I know at a certain point when their phone comes out and they have a frumpy look on their face that I'm dead, and then it just becomes an experiment to see if there's any way I can pull the plane out of its crash dive. So far I haven't succeeded, but it's sort of fun.

I think some bratty girls (definitely the adjective I'd use to describe this one) get off on blowing guys out and getting them riled up. It's likely a little like a personality disorder - the one thing they can't stand is not getting the reaction they want.

I just remain pleasant to the last, who cares if they think I'm a dope. Don't make it harder for the next guy, right?

Post: #4897

Chatted for a bit with a woman on the site the other day, and when I pitched the meet she gave the usual "well I'm gonna be really busy with work for the next week or two and..."

So I just did the "Ok, here's my number, text me when things free up" thing.

She texts me a day later and wants to talk, so I chat with her for about 30 minutes, she seems really interested, and suddenly she's ready to meet up in the middle of the week (not so busy now, eh?)

A couple days go by and I don't hear anything further, so I send a random text like:

"YEP! The prices here are IN-SANE!"

Her: "Yeah. Well I can tell that text wasn't meant for me."

Me: "Is that so?"

Her: "I don't think this is gonna work"

these chicks are nuts.

Post: #4898

I think the random restart text was a bit weak. She saw right through it as an excuse for you to try and talk to her. Be up front about what you want. Should have said "bar in xx, would you like to meet me there at 7?" This will put the ball in her court. It will also serve as a way to screen her to see if she is really as interested as you say.

If she was wanted to meet up with you in the middle of the week, schedule something the day she offers. Then, you will be able to re-engage after a day or two and confirm your date.

Post: #4899

(11-03-2015 07:41 AM)XPQ21 Wrote:  Chatted for a bit with a woman on the site the other day, and when I pitched the meet she gave the usual "well I'm gonna be really busy with work for the next week or two and..."

So I just did the "Ok, here's my number, text me when things free up" thing.

She texts me a day later and wants to talk, so I chat with her for about 30 minutes, she seems really interested, and suddenly she's ready to meet up in the middle of the week (not so busy now, eh?)

A couple days go by and I don't hear anything further, so I send a random text like:

"YEP! The prices here are IN-SANE!"

Her: "Yeah. Well I can tell that text wasn't meant for me."

Me: "Is that so?"

Her: "I don't think this is gonna work"

these chicks are nuts.

If you left the original conversation with 'text me when things free up' after asking her out and then she texts you days later why didn't you just close on the date right then and there? It sounds like you went on and on talking (boring) her and she finally lost interest. Am I missing something here?

Post: #4900

(11-03-2015 10:27 AM)OregonToSoCal Wrote:  

(11-03-2015 07:41 AM)XPQ21 Wrote:  Chatted for a bit with a woman on the site the other day, and when I pitched the meet she gave the usual "well I'm gonna be really busy with work for the next week or two and..."

So I just did the "Ok, here's my number, text me when things free up" thing.

She texts me a day later and wants to talk, so I chat with her for about 30 minutes, she seems really interested, and suddenly she's ready to meet up in the middle of the week (not so busy now, eh?)

A couple days go by and I don't hear anything further, so I send a random text like:

"YEP! The prices here are IN-SANE!"

Her: "Yeah. Well I can tell that text wasn't meant for me."

Me: "Is that so?"

Her: "I don't think this is gonna work"

these chicks are nuts.

If you left the original conversation with 'text me when things free up' after asking her out and then she texts you days later why didn't you just close on the date right then and there? It sounds like you went on and on talking (boring) her and she finally lost interest. Am I missing something here?

For me, at the moment, the difficulty is always one of logistics. These chicks generally live in the city a good 40 miles from me, so immediate meets are pretty much out of the question.

I also generally know fuck all about the areas that they live in, so I often have to rely on them to suggest places - not ideal I know.

Basically, the way it plays out in all the successes I've had, due to the proximity issue, is that we tentatively agree for X day, we text with each from time to time until the day of the date, and then we finalize plans on that day and I meet them.

I have found that even if we're "booked" for X day, if she doesn't make any effort to converse from time to time until then, that's a bad sign.