Post: #26

Merenguero, appreciate the concern but I'm well into my divorce and it became ugly a long time ago so the time for fear has long since passed for me. My question was more of a general one for guys who may just be starting out in a divorce. The beginning is when guys are most vulnerable and when the biggest mistakes are typically made.

Do you find you can get cases done that quickly though? Most women typically want their pound of flesh, mine included. I expected it though and I was mentally and financially prepared for the war she was going to bring

Post: #27

(10-27-2015 07:51 PM)doc holliday Wrote:  Merenguero, appreciate the concern but I'm well into my divorce and it became ugly a long time ago so the time for fear has long since passed for me. My question was more of a general one for guys who may just be starting out in a divorce. The beginning is when guys are most vulnerable and when the biggest mistakes are typically made.

Do you find you can get cases done that quickly though? Most women typically want their pound of flesh, mine included. I expected it though and I was mentally and financially prepared for the war she was going to bring

How quickly a case can be resolved depends on three things. The first is the county in which the case is pending, the second is how reasonable the two parties are, and the third is how complex the case is. Some counties are just incredibly slow and cases can go on for years, even if the cases aren't so complex. If the parties come to an agreement and the separation period has already run, you can get divorced pretty quickly in any county. If there are custody and property issues, one or both of the parties are unreasonable, and/or you are in a county with few judges, I've seen cases go on for years and years. Remember, it's not like a criminal case where you have a constitutional right to a speedy trial. If the court wants to wait a few years to schedule a custody and/or divorce trial, there is often little you can do. It is much easier on the court for the parties to resolve cases.

Post: #28

You stay in the house.

Set up shop in another room, with a locking door. Better yet, move all her crap into the den. Let her sleep on the pullout couch.

Carry a voice recorder. A dedicated one, not some phone app. And you have that sucker running 24/7, because all that quiet time is just as (if not more) important than the comment she throws out there to bait you.
She calls the cops (claiming you assaulted her), and you've got the evidence proving otherwise. Then you press charges against her for filing a false DV charge.

Post: #29

Merenguero, appreciate the concern but I'm well into my divorce and it became ugly a long time ago so the time for fear has long since passed for me. My question was more of a general one for guys who may just be starting out in a divorce. The beginning is when guys are most vulnerable and when the biggest mistakes are typically made.

Do you find you can get cases done that quickly though? Most women typically want their pound of flesh, mine included. I expected it though and I was mentally and financially prepared for the war she was going to bring

Post: #30

Once it is over and you have been bent over and fucked without lube, how do you balance the scales?

How do you extract your pound of flesh?

From her?

From her affair partner?

From her shylock lawyer?

From his shylock lawyer?

From the piece of shit GAL?

From the cunt of a judge?

How do we punish these people?

How do we set them up to serve as cautionary tales so that others do not behave as they did?

Post: #31

If children, decide on custody (this is tricky part). If no children, split post-marital everything 50/50. No point even disputing that. Do not hide any accounts. That's the cleanest divorce. The sooner you get it all done the sooner you can make your life awesome again.

Post: #32

(10-27-2015 05:37 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  Why does everyone say the woman has all the power? They don't they're just quick to strike and follow thru.

The things you mention are major factors. But the most important thing to remember about Family Court is that it's like 1950s Alabama...and you're not white. Even when you're dealing with with laws that are written gender neutral, everyone in the system knows who they're REALLY meant to benefit and who the "Good Ole Boys" are.

Post: #33

I wrote this for a blog a while back that I never got going.

It happens every day. It happens to the clueless guys who will become even more of the beta provider type and it will happens to the most alpha, machismo bravado types.

It is never an accident. Maybe you didn’t use a condom. Maybe you didn’t pull out. You DID make the conscious decision to fuck her and not prevent the pregnancy.

Before I get started, let me throw this out there. Disclaimer: The following is not legal advice, it is simply what worked for me and my friends. I am NOT an attorney. Consult a lawyer. If he does not agree, fuck that spineless attorney and find one that does.

You are responsible for your seed. Take control of it and don’t become its bitch!

Everyone knows those guys that pay child support. They whine about it. They see their kid a time or two a month. They are terrified to change jobs or take any chances in life. What if it doesn’t work out and then they owe back child support?

They are afraid to do anything with their life in fear they won’t make their payment on time and “baby momma” will take them back to court. The system will lock them up and forget about them.

They are right. Do not be controlled by your seed!

In the USA where women are allowed to freely murder their unborn children there are five most possible scenarios when becoming a father and here is my answer to each. This plan applies to all.

1. You are a “good” guy and want to make it work with her even though you have major differences.

2. You don’t hardly know her or you do and want nothing to do with her.

3. You want to stay on friendly terms with her but don’t want to be with her but do want to be a part of the kid’s life.

4. You love her and are shopping for a ring but stumbled on this or another manosphere site.

5. You hate her guts and want to inflict maximum damage and not get fucked.

Let’s review the options.

You are a “good” guy and want to make it work with her even though you have major differences.

Hope into one hand and shit into the other. Which fills up first? Hope something changes and it works out? People don’t change. Women don’t change.

You have your differences and it is noble to want to work through them. Bottom line is 99% of people do not change.

If she wants to change, good for her. Be pleasant. Be cooperative. Talk about the plans for the kiddo. Wait to see (the unlikely event of) change. But for now, attack! You can reconcile later after Scubadude's plan is implemented.

You don’t hardly know her or you do and want nothing to do with her.

You got drunk and probably would have been better off sticking your dick in a blender or smashing it with a toilet seat. But you didn’t.

Maybe you two are some fairytale story. More than likely you are not. You need to follow this plan to the letter.

You want to stay on friendly terms with her but don’t want to be with her but do want to be a part of the kid’s life.

So you think you will just be supportive through the pregnancy and things will work themselves out after the delivery. You are most probably wrong. I want to find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and win Powerball. Stop dreaming and follow Scubadude's plan.

You love her and are shopping for a ring but stumbled on this or another manosphere site.

Good luck. Start reading everything you can about marriage and divorce in the USA.

You hate her guts and want to inflict maximum damage and/or not get screwed by the court system.

This plan is especially for you. It is what happened to me and what this is designed for. Follow the plan. Do not do anything stupid that is a crime. Follow my plan and be as good off as possible.

Here is my plan for custody battles. This will benefit 90% + of men in any of the above situations.

Scubadude's plan.

This isn’t really my plan. It is advice given to me by several men many years ago when I was in a bad situation.

“In case of doubt, attack.”

General George S. Patton

It is time to go on the offensive.

Just find out she is pregnant? Go on the offensive.

Been dealing with her pregnancy attitude and hormonal swings for months but not committed to her? Go on the offensive.

Not sure what you want to do? Go on the offensive.

Cowering and waiting for the subpoena is not an option

Talk to a lawyer. Talk to a several. Be on the offensive.

There are two type of custody. Legal and physical.

Legal custody is who makes the important decisions such as religion, school medical care etc.

Physical Custody is where the kid lives and where it spends time.

The following is the most important words I can say

YOU WANT FULL LEGAL CUSTODY

Let me repeat that.

YOU WANT FULL LEGAL CUSTODY

This means you make all the important decisions and don’t have to consult her.

“A good plan, violently executed now, is better than a perfect plan next week”

General George S. Patton

There are several steps to this plan and I can not number them because they are all equally important and need to be implemented together. One is not necessarily more important as they are all reliant on the other parts.

Step One: Stop incriminating yourself.

Shut the fuck up.

Delete Facebook, Twitter and any other social media accounts. I don’t care how harmless a post seems, a good a lawyer (her’s) will turn them around on you.

Do not edit your accounts. DELETE THEM.

Do not argue with her or discuss details on text, email or phone. It can all be used against you.

Save all of her info you can

This coincides with part A and needs to be done at the same time. Before you delete your accounts you need to be able to see any friends only access available.

Screen shot everything. Save one copy to disk and print another at minimum.

A post from three years ago showing she is depressed? Absolutely. “liking” mentally unstable posts? Money. Cursing, sexual deviancy or violent references? Without doubt. If there is a post, tweet or picture showing anything short of sainthood, you want it.

Pregnancy hormones are hell. They will play all kinds of games on her., They will make her say and do all kinds of crazy things. Document and or record it all. All emails, calls, texts and tweets.

After the baby is born with postpartal depression they can get even crazier. Document it all.

Screen shots of texts are easy to take. If she calls non stop and curses or makes threats you want it recorded to play to the judge. Use a digital recorder of your choice.

Step Two: Consult an attorney

Or a few- if you live in a small town. It’s called “conflicting out”. When you pay a fee to an attorney and explain some details of your case, you have created an attorney client relationship.

Now she can not hire him to represent her in the matter without a conflict of interest being created. He won’t take her on so now she can’t get the best in your town. This is most effective in smaller towns that don’t have 100’s of good attorneys.

Read everything you can for a couple days before the meeting. Tell him (do not get a female attorney, I will explain in another post) what you want. If they just want a big retainer and can not give you a plan or what to expect, move on to the next attorney. You want the smartest asshole you can afford.

Step Three: Go for the throat

The court will not award you anything you do not ask for.

Being aggressive from the start puts her on the defensive.

No matter how you feel now, unless you are a true psychopath you will love the child once it is born or at least after DNA tests confirm it’s yours.

Speaking of, you were planning on getting a DNA test right? EVERY man needs to insist on one no matter what she says. There are private places you can get them done for a hundred bucks.

You went to the attorney first. Your name will be on top of the paper. You will be the petitioner. You want to ask for the world. You can settle for less later.

Think long and hard what you want to ask for. There are many possible variations.

Full legal custody and full physical custody.

Full legal custody and shared physical custody.

The list goes on.

But no matter what you want full legal custody. You don’t want to fight with her years down the road over some trivial matter. It needs to be your decision alone.

Most states have calculators for child support. The amounts paid vary based on incomes and days spent with each parent. Find an amount that will work best for you.

Lastly, Stick To Your Guns

You can compromise on some issues but decide what is important and stick to it. She will have many many mood swings and try to convince you of stuff and situations that are not true. Stick to your guns.

That is it for the plan. It is simple but it works out better that waiting around for a subpoena and wage garnishment. It puts you in the driver’s seat and gives you more control over your future.

In case you missed it at the top. I am not a lawyer. This is simply what I’ve seen work. Consult a real attorney.

Post: #34

Basically, don't get married so you don't have to deal with a divorce.

Otherwise, enjoy wage garnishments, taking your pension, and losing your house.

I'll be busy shooting guns, sleeping in, and enjoying my money.

Post: #35

(10-27-2015 08:45 PM)HankMoody Wrote:  Basically, don't get married so you don't have to deal with a divorce.

Otherwise, enjoy wage garnishments, taking your pension, and losing your house.

I'll be busy shooting guns, sleeping in, and enjoying my money.

Don't forget topless girls on Miami Beach.

Post: #36

(10-27-2015 08:45 PM)HankMoody Wrote:  Basically, don't get married so you don't have to deal with a divorce.

Otherwise, enjoy wage garnishments, taking your pension, and losing your house.

I'll be busy shooting guns, sleeping in, and enjoying my money.

You come off a certain way for someone claiming to be a pro. Why don't you describe how it actually works before I have to?

Post: #37

(10-27-2015 08:58 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  

(10-27-2015 08:45 PM)HankMoody Wrote:  Basically, don't get married so you don't have to deal with a divorce.

Otherwise, enjoy wage garnishments, taking your pension, and losing your house.

I'll be busy shooting guns, sleeping in, and enjoying my money.

You come off a certain way for someone claiming to be a pro. Why don't you describe how it actually works before I have to?

I'm not a pro at game. I do well for myself. I'm also in my mid-30s, make some money, own a house, and have no desire to get married again.

I am an attorney. Divorce isn't my "speciality", but I've been doing it a lot lately.

Not that I need to answer to anyone, or even give a shit. Like my posts, hate my posts, I don't care.

Post: #38

(10-27-2015 09:02 PM)HankMoody Wrote:  

(10-27-2015 08:58 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  

(10-27-2015 08:45 PM)HankMoody Wrote:  Basically, don't get married so you don't have to deal with a divorce.

Otherwise, enjoy wage garnishments, taking your pension, and losing your house.

I'll be busy shooting guns, sleeping in, and enjoying my money.

You come off a certain way for someone claiming to be a pro. Why don't you describe how it actually works before I have to?

I'm not a pro at game. I do well for myself. I'm also in my mid-30s, make some money, own a house, and have no desire to get married again.

I am an attorney. Divorce isn't my "speciality", but I've been doing it a lot lately.

Not that I need to answer to anyone, or even give a shit. Like my posts, hate my posts, I don't care.

Don't give lame advice or try to scare our younger members if you don't know what you're talking about.

Post: #39

I'm not a lawyer, just a guy who's been through a divorce and a couple custody cases. I've also known a lot of guys who've been through it, as most of us do.

talk to a lawyer
obviously.
I'm a proponent of word of mouth. Ask people you respect if they know a good lawyer.

women have the upper hand - what to do about it?
Don't wuss out. It's good to recognize the reality you're up against but I've also seen men make this a self-limiting belief. Out of the 4/5 mother's that get full custody many of those are because the father didn't pursue it, of those some didn't pursue it because they rationalized that they stood no chance. Other guys just decided they didn't want it - more power to them.
Also, a woman's upper hand can work in your favor if she becomes overconfident and complacent because of it. From what I've seen many women take it for granted that they'll get what they want, and they just don't go in with a plan of action and preparedness like a man who is ready to battle.

don't be centered on the enemy
Steven Covey talks about the fault of centering yourself on the wrong ideas or objects. One fault is to center your goals on what your enemy doesn't want, rather than what you do want. I think this ties into hanks point about guys not knowing what they want. When you divorce you're in a bad mentality where you and the wife are still "one" identity but enemies at the same time. For both sexes it causes a mental dysfunction where everything about your life is defined relative to the other person. To bring this back to point, this makes it hard to think clearly about what you want other than the easy answer "the opposite of what she wants" or "whatever she is trying to take from me".

be ready to fight but proceed with progressive stages of conflict
What I mean to this is don't rush headlong into a nasty court battle from the get go. Once you have an outline of your goals try to reach them with the least litigation that's needed. Be ready to up the level of conflict but not un-necessarily. Dissolution is the best if you can make it work, but it's not always an option. If that's not the answer, there are other levels besides full on "court battle". Family courts have an interest as well in keeping these battles out of their caseload, and often look positively on the side who is most open/accomodating to trying options like mitigation, arbitration... maybe others I don't know of.
In my case I ended up in mitigation and also agreed to use of a "family advocate". Basically an impartial (cough, bullshit!) third party investigator who would "inform" the court on the circumstances in case mitigation broke down.
Talk to your lawyer about your options. The circumstances of mine aren't important, I just mentioned as one example of what's out there.

if you have kids, the struggle is lifelong... not over when you win/lose the divorce
It's important to keep this in mind for a couple reasons. Mostly I mention this as a reminder to not give up on your goal because of setbacks. Even if you get utterly screwed by family law and a vindictive ex, your kids will have their own hearts and minds some day and form their own viewpoints on their parents. If you stay plugged in and positive in their life, they can come back around even in the worst situations.
Also circumstances change. I've seen guys lose custody battles but stay involved, and then end up with the kids in their teenage years because mom is overwhelmed. Or guys who get half-custody but then realize they aren't cut out for it, and mom ends up with kids anyways.
As a side note I think men make better parents than women in those teen years. Just personal opinion.
In my situation, I won 50/50 custody in my court battle. Years later because of circumstances, I ended up with fulltime custody temporarily, but not on paper. Circumstances changed again and we went back to 50/50 custody. Then once again, and I went back to court and won full custody. That's the short version.

child support sometimes makes sense financially
There are many reasons to pursue custody and/or avoid child support but from a purely financial p.o.v. putting aside other factors:
Sometimes it makes financial sense to just pay child support.
- Full custody often means you're paying all expenses not covered by child support. You're maintaining a residence for whatever family size, rather than a batchelor pad. Your work/life balance becomes mandatory which places restrictions on your career, putting a ceiling on the supply side of finances. Most men who make big money also work hard, long hours.
- Shared-custody means both parents have these restrictions and responsibilities, creating an in-economy of scale. You'll probably also end up paying child support even with 50/50 custody, unless you overcame hypergamy lol. It also means living a dual life of sorts, but that's another topic.
- No custody means you pay a set, finite amount and from a career p.o.v. the world is your oyster. If money and the finer things are important to you... this option arguably has the most potential. Letting go of 33% of your income is harsh but can be offset by making $120k per year rather than $60k per year (if you have the ambition/drive to make that happen).

game your ex-wife during the divorce and after
I'm defining game loosely here... especially since I don't have much of it. But I mean in terms of charm, persuasion, and people skills.
Assuming you have kids. Don't go straight for the fight. Persuade and influence your ex. Make her want to agree with you. Your relationship is over but communication between the two of you will be important as long as the kids are still between you.
Obviously gaming your baby-mama to grease the drama machine takes different methods than greasing her panties. But, both take a strategic mindset.

marriage is still beneficial if you want to raise kids
I'm going to have to go against the grain somewhat because if you want kids, it's not wise to avoid marriage. You can't avoid baby mama drama and child support by avoiding marriage - those things are par for the course unless you overcome them with effort (game, strategy, etc.). From what I've seen, any upper hand that a woman has custody-wise is magnified if she's unmarried. If you inpregnant a woman out of wedlock and want to take part in the kids life you're even more under her thumb than you'd be following divorce.

that's just a couple thoughts that came to mind

Post: #40

You already folded up on your last post how can you defend?

Post: #41

(10-27-2015 05:29 PM)HankMoody Wrote:  1. Do not get married. If you want to live with someone, do it. If you want to have kids, do it. You do not need to get married to do these things.

I have a feeling that, if marriage rates continue to fall, palimony will become as common as alimony.

Women will find a way to get their hands on men's money.

Post: #42

(10-27-2015 05:29 PM)HankMoody Wrote:  1. Do not get married. If you want to live with someone, do it. If you want to have kids, do it. You do not need to get married to do these things.

But Hank, what about common law? If we live with someone long enough, they can get us through common law even if we never intended to marry. Is there no way around that?

Post: #43

(10-27-2015 09:22 PM)CleanSlate Wrote:  

(10-27-2015 05:29 PM)HankMoody Wrote:  1. Do not get married. If you want to live with someone, do it. If you want to have kids, do it. You do not need to get married to do these things.

But Hank, what about common law? If we live with someone long enough, they can get us through common law even if we never intended to marry. Is there no way around that?

That only applies in thirteen states plus D.C. and in addition to living with the person, you have to present yourselves to the public as husband and wife.

Edit: It's now down to nine states plus D.C. and none of those nine states, except arguably Texas, are places where anyone would really want to live.

Post: #44

(10-27-2015 09:22 PM)CleanSlate Wrote:  

(10-27-2015 05:29 PM)HankMoody Wrote:  1. Do not get married. If you want to live with someone, do it. If you want to have kids, do it. You do not need to get married to do these things.

But Hank, what about common law? If we live with someone long enough, they can get us through common law even if we never intended to marry. Is there no way around that?

http://www.allenbwest.com/2015/04/the-ob...-benefits/

Quote:Although our economy is supposed to be improving, and “unemployment” is going down, in one in five American families, no one in the household is working. Data released by the Bureau of Labor Statistics shows that for 2014, in 19.9 percent of American families, NO ONE had a job.

CNS News says, the BLS also calculates these data for single-parent families. In 25.6 percent of families maintained by women with no spouse present, no family member is employed.

But really, it’s no surprise when you see how incredibly easy it is to cash in on up to $69,000 in benefits, paid for by working-class schlubs like you and me.

Want to try it yourself? Follow these proven steps:

1. If you’re a man, don’t get married
2. Have a couple kids
3. Use your mom’s address for your mail
4. Buy a house
5. Rent your house to your girlfriend and your two kids
6. Section 8 will pay $900 a month for the rent on the 3 bedroom home
7. Have your girlfriend sign up for Obamacare
8. Your girlfriend gets to go to college free as a single mother
9. She also gets $400 a month for food stamps
10. She gets a free cell phone
11. She also gets a cash grant to help pay for heating costs
12. Move into your house with her, but keep your mom’s address for your mail
13. Each of you can claim one child on your taxes so now you both get to claim head of household credit ($1295)
14. Have your girlfriend get a permanent disability for “marked difficulties maintaining concentration” or having a “back pain.”

This is all perfectly legal, and is clearly being enjoyed by millions of people.

Here’s how it all adds up:

$22,800 disability + $10,800 housing benefit +$4,800 food stamps + $3,300 Obamacare subsidy + $900 utilities grant + $5,645 Pell grant cash + $12,000 yearly college tuition grant + $8,000 single mother tax benefit + $1,295 head of household credit…

…equals $69,540 – and we didn’t even add in the free cellphone!

Now you know why our nation has a debt of $18,205,125,300,000.

Welcome to #ObamasAmerica.

Post: #45

Damn, Brodiaga... that is sickening. Stupid gullible government.

Post: #46

(10-27-2015 08:19 PM)Caractacus Potts Wrote:  Once it is over and you have been bent over and fucked without lube, how do you balance the scales?

How do you extract your pound of flesh?
From her?
From her affair partner?
From her shylock lawyer?
From his shylock lawyer?
From the piece of shit GAL?
From the cunt of a judge?
How do we punish these people?

These eight questions have one answer:

1. You don't.

The most important lesson you can learn from being fucked over in a divorce is to not get caught in the same or similar situation again. All other lessons learned only prolong the pain and the conflict, and eat away at you much more than the other person. More practically, the ex-husband or ex-boyfriend is the first suspect when something bad happens to a woman, immortalised in film, song, and novels for the past forty years or more. Success and your own happiness are the best revenge, and you achieve those fastest by ripping the bandaid off, severing as many ties as possible, and getting on with rebuilding your life. That's not Red Pill, that's self-preservation.

Post: #47

(10-27-2015 09:27 PM)Brodiaga Wrote:  

(10-27-2015 09:22 PM)CleanSlate Wrote:  

(10-27-2015 05:29 PM)HankMoody Wrote:  1. Do not get married. If you want to live with someone, do it. If you want to have kids, do it. You do not need to get married to do these things.

But Hank, what about common law? If we live with someone long enough, they can get us through common law even if we never intended to marry. Is there no way around that?

http://www.allenbwest.com/2015/04/the-ob...-benefits/

Quote:Although our economy is supposed to be improving, and “unemployment” is going down, in one in five American families, no one in the household is working. Data released by the Bureau of Labor Statistics shows that for 2014, in 19.9 percent of American families, NO ONE had a job.

CNS News says, the BLS also calculates these data for single-parent families. In 25.6 percent of families maintained by women with no spouse present, no family member is employed.

But really, it’s no surprise when you see how incredibly easy it is to cash in on up to $69,000 in benefits, paid for by working-class schlubs like you and me.

Want to try it yourself? Follow these proven steps:

1. If you’re a man, don’t get married
2. Have a couple kids
3. Use your mom’s address for your mail
4. Buy a house
5. Rent your house to your girlfriend and your two kids
6. Section 8 will pay $900 a month for the rent on the 3 bedroom home
7. Have your girlfriend sign up for Obamacare
8. Your girlfriend gets to go to college free as a single mother
9. She also gets $400 a month for food stamps
10. She gets a free cell phone
11. She also gets a cash grant to help pay for heating costs
12. Move into your house with her, but keep your mom’s address for your mail
13. Each of you can claim one child on your taxes so now you both get to claim head of household credit ($1295)
14. Have your girlfriend get a permanent disability for “marked difficulties maintaining concentration” or having a “back pain.”

This is all perfectly legal, and is clearly being enjoyed by millions of people.

Here’s how it all adds up:

$22,800 disability + $10,800 housing benefit +$4,800 food stamps + $3,300 Obamacare subsidy + $900 utilities grant + $5,645 Pell grant cash + $12,000 yearly college tuition grant + $8,000 single mother tax benefit + $1,295 head of household credit…

…equals $69,540 – and we didn’t even add in the free cellphone!

Now you know why our nation has a debt of $18,205,125,300,000.

Welcome to #ObamasAmerica.

This is absolutely real. I have done about half of these steps at some point in time, also remember that child support is not counted as income to the mother on many social security type applications, neither are gifts and neither are bills paid on their behalf...ie she has no income, but also doesn't make her car payments.

If I can ever convince my wife to, I'd get legally divorced while maintaining our covenant with god and go back to this gravy train.

The flaw in these welfare systems is an assumption of conflicting parties. If a father an mother are cooperative, government handouts are to be had.

------

@Grodin's post, the 'remember with kids its a lifelong struggle' is some of the best divorce advice for those with kids. There is a balance in the tempo of the battle with your ex wife and the temperament with your children. I've been at the ex wife game for over 10 years now. The ex is a diabolical arch bitch, but its not like I have to spend time with her when I'm with my kid and as the kid has aged my relationship with my ex, and he becomes more and more separate.

Example 2, my current wife, had zero relationship with her Dad due to divorce until age 12 when the mom needed an assist. As an adult her relationship with her dad is top notch, while she and her mom do not get along at all.

The day I started to take a long term view of things with my ex wife, was the day her shit just started to roll off my back, like water off a duck. Every year the kid ages, her influence wanes. He can read, write, text, call, shit and eat without needing her as an intermediary now. Once he can board a plane and drive by himself its game over.

Post: #48

+1 for Hank and Merenguero and others for great info.

Post: #49

(10-27-2015 09:56 PM)Paracelsus Wrote:  

(10-27-2015 08:19 PM)Caractacus Potts Wrote:  Once it is over and you have been bent over and fucked without lube, how do you balance the scales?

How do you extract your pound of flesh?
From her?
From her affair partner?
From her shylock lawyer?
From his shylock lawyer?
From the piece of shit GAL?
From the cunt of a judge?
How do we punish these people?

These eight questions have one answer:

1. You don't.

The most important lesson you can learn from being fucked over in a divorce is to not get caught in the same or similar situation again. All other lessons learned only prolong the pain and the conflict, and eat away at you much more than the other person. More practically, the ex-husband or ex-boyfriend is the first suspect when something bad happens to a woman, immortalised in film, song, and novels for the past forty years or more. Success and your own happiness are the best revenge, and you achieve those fastest by ripping the bandaid off, severing as many ties as possible, and getting on with rebuilding your life. That's not Red Pill, that's self-preservation.

I'll echo Paracelsus here. My divorce left me with a lot of anger, despite the financial rape being relatively mild. After a few years of living well and watching the ex's life crater, things seem to have worked themselves out and life is good.

"Punishing" someone to try to change them is never going to work. The way to beat the system is to not play their game.

Also, agree with whoever said wear a voice recorder 24/7 if you're trying to stay in the same house with an ex. What about being explicit "If you try to frame me with a false DV charge, I'm prepared and it will backfire on you" Run the recorder (and perhaps some stealth video in common areas) without telling her.

Post: #50

(10-28-2015 10:38 AM)Engineer Wrote:  ... wear a voice recorder 24/7 if you're trying to stay in the same house with an ex. What about being explicit "If you try to frame me with a false DV charge, I'm prepared and it will backfire on you" Run the recorder (and perhaps some stealth video in common areas) without telling her.

You run the recorder without telling her.

You wouldn't tell the opposing team that you have 'something up your sleeve' in case they decide to run X play, right ? Same rule applies here.

The key to the recorder is this: It has to be running WHENEVER YOU ARE AROUND HER. Switch the batteries out at work. Start running it before you even pull in the driveway.
Those 9 hours of quiet time are just as important as the 3 minutes of her going off on a rant, and the subsequent knock at the door 14 minutes later from the boys in blue.

She claims you hit/punched/threatened/farted at her, you play the recording for the officer's, right up to the point where they (on the recording) show up.

As a side note, the recorder isn't really for gathering evidence for your divorce case. The judge doesn't give two shits who and/or how many people she's fucking, as long as it's not happening in front of the kids.

It's to keep your ass out of jail that night (and putting her lying ass IN jail for filing a false DV charge). And you save that recording to play for the judge at her hearing.

"Your Honor, this is how she behaves when no one is watching."