Post: #1

"You're really cute"

"You're not like the other guys I've been on dates with"

"I'm not the type of person who...""

"If a first date goes well I always go on a second..."

"I try to always keep my word..."

"I'm really laid back and down to earth..."

"Give me a text later and I'll let you know..."

"I'd love to go on a date with you this weekend but actually I'm going on vacation for a few days to..." (yeah they're always going on vacation)

The unpleasant part of doing this stuff is having to interact with lots of women and the endless lies and manipulation that seems to naturally and effortlessly spew forth from them via text and face-to-face contact. How do you cope with it psychologically? It can be sort of a downer.

Post: #2

The source of the lies is the same as the source of womens' 300 per cent higher speech production.

they just love the sound of talking, it make them feel less nervous and insecure.

And they lack persistent reality testing. If they feel like you're cute, you're cute; people refer to it as solipsism but I think that's not quite right, it's a childlike impulsiveness that is fun but also results in them telling you what they think you want to hear.

Post: #3

I tend to treat these lines that women give me as sort of a mental drinking game for my own amusement. I learned early on that they're all reading from the same script and playbook so you'll hear the same things from them almost verbatim. I often have to stifle a chuckle when a woman looks me in the eyes and says "I'm not having sex with you tonight" since it's just another one of their lines that we've all heard a thousand times.

The one thing that you do need to take seriously and pay attention to are their actions which never lie.

Post: #4

(09-29-2015 04:20 PM)OregonToSoCal Wrote:  I tend to treat these lines that women give me as sort of a mental drinking game for my own amusement. I learned early on that they're all reading from the same script and playbook so you'll hear the same things from them almost verbatim. I often have to stifle a chuckle when a woman looks me in the eyes and says "I'm not having sex with you tonight" since it's just another one of their lines that we've all heard a thousand times.

I heard the very same line just the other day.

Post: #5

Take each lie with a grain of salt. I'm used to it and I always believe a woman lies when she tells me anything. I guess it comes down to playing the field and approaching so much to the point where you know there's nothing they say that can faze you and question yourself.

Post: #6

With sufficient abundance you stop even listening to what they say, let alone being bothered by the content.

Post: #7

What SoCal said... Pay attention to their actions.

Otherwise, nod, smile, and escalate.

Psychologically, what is there to deal with? You're not the one lying to yourself. It is what it is; use this knowledge about them to your advantage.

Post: #8

I'm still working on it, but I think you have to realize that they just talk and say whatever pops into their head. They don't really think about or mean what they say, they just say it cause they think they should or they ha e some random thought or whatever. It's just noise. Smile and nod. Then pay attention to what they actually do.

Post: #9

Pretty straightforward. Just ignore words and pay attention to actions.

Promises from other people, especially girls, have almost zero meaning to me now. Now it literally comes down to "oh, she's in my bed now, cool, that worked out well". There is so little correlation between what most people say and do that there is almost no point even listening.

Post: #10

In one ear, out the other...

Just smile and game on.

Post: #11

I swear to God, it's like they read from a bloody script everytime.

Do they not realize that all of us have quite literally heard what just came out of their mouth a thousand times over?

Post: #12

If you haven't already....read Rollo Tomassi's info on female behavior at Rational Male. It will open your eyes.

Post: #13

(10-01-2015 10:41 PM)HighSpeed_LowDrag Wrote:  Do they not realize that all of us have quite literally heard what just came out of their mouth a thousand times over?

No, I'm sure they don't.

Post: #14

I'm 31 and have only been dating for the past 16 months. Other than that, I went on two dates with a girl in college that I initiated but only after my friend first set the three of us up for a dinner outing (without me knowing what he was up to).

As a newbie, I think that you just pick it up quickly, learn to not invest emotionally in any girl, and as long as you are getting dates (I can get about 2-4 new girls a month) and average 2-3 dates for each girl that I am genuinely interested in before it usually pans out. At first, I resented the idea of not being able to invest and trust someone. That I couldn't be myself or I couldn't invest otherwise I'd get constantly hurt. It doesn't matter, you just get desensitized to it and you won't care anymore a year from now and you'll think back in hindsight and realize you were mistaken for caring in the first place.

One lie that I've picked up is when you're on a date with a girl and you talk about meeting up again and she starts going through all of the plans that she has for the week. At first it sounds like she's telling you her schedule so that you can work around it, but in actuality she's just coming up with excuses not to see you because she can't just come out and say "I'm not feeling it." It's happened to me in the past 3 out of 5 girls. You just realize what's going on, and since you're not yet invested, you don't care. I've heard to never invest in a girl before you've had sex at least a few times, and I'm trying to live that way. On the last girl, I started investing on the next date after the first makeout session and it was a mistake.

Post: #15

(10-04-2015 11:25 AM)evilbuttmunch Wrote:  One lie that I've picked up is when you're on a date with a girl and you talk about meeting up again and she starts going through all of the plans that she has for the week. At first it sounds like she's telling you her schedule so that you can work around it, but in actuality she's just coming up with excuses not to see you because she can't just come out and say "I'm not feeling it." It's happened to me in the past 3 out of 5 girls. You just realize what's going on, and since you're not yet invested, you don't care. I've heard to never invest in a girl before you've had sex at least a few times, and I'm trying to live that way. On the last girl, I started investing on the next date after the first makeout session and it was a mistake.

I've stopped trying to discuss a second date at all on first dates unless she brings it up first. I just don't mention it anymore, because at best I don't think it accomplishes anything but put pressure on her like a car salesman "what have I got to get you into this car today?" in the hopes that she'll agree on the spot (but it won't really mean anything).

At worst, I think it makes one seem really thirsty, as I believe many young women these days realize that sex usually happens on the second or third date or never, and that you don't have much else going on and are pushing hard for the close.

By saying nothing about it, I think there are two main ways she can read that - either that you don't really care (which should be sort of true) or that you're so confident that she'll be seeing you again you don't even need to bring it up. Neither of those interpretations can hurt you.

The procedure I use now, which has been documented elsewhere, is to just act like a second date doesn't matter on the first one, and then send a text or email late the next day to judge interest if she doesn't contact you first (the latter has never happened to me as a matter of fact, even with the couple girls I had sex with on the second date) - don't say "oh I had a really great evening" directly, but some funny observation relevant to something you did on the date. If she replies and you're able to keep the conversation going, you're likely in for a second date fairly soon.

This is probably a discussion for another thread, however.