Post: #151

(08-30-2015 06:58 AM)Paracelsus Wrote:  I wish I had a tailored suit.

Here you go. You wear it to your wedding when you marry a dude called Bruce.



I wish I could create a personal empire by conquering vast swathes of land in the manner of Genghis Khan. On the way I would rape and pillage, and 800 years on, 1 in 200 people living on earth could trace their ancestry back to me.

Post: #152

^^^^^^^

Wish granted. You only rape the men and then they get the women pregnant with artificial insemination.

I wish I was the original cock caurosel and the ride was always full.

Post: #153

(08-30-2015 08:04 AM)realologist Wrote:  ^^^^^^^

Wish granted. You only rape the men and then they get the women pregnant with artificial insemination.

I wish I was the original cock caurosel and the ride was always full.

Granted but all the girls on the carousel are 300+ pounds with short rainbow colored hair and matching armpit hair.

I wish I had fuck you money

Post: #154

(08-30-2015 09:03 AM)Cr33pin Wrote:  Granted but all the girls on the carousel are 300+ pounds with short rainbow colored hair and matching armpit hair.

I wish I had fuck you money

I send my girl to seduce you, marry you, divorce rape you, and I use the proceedings to retire on a Caribbean island.

I wish there were no more war.

Post: #155

There's no more war, but no more innovation either. We become like the Amish, and that monster from M Night Shyamalanananan's "The Village" is real.

I wish that we could like posts on the forum from our phones.

Post: #156

(08-30-2015 09:34 AM)Windom Earle Wrote:  There's no more war, but no more innovation either. We become like the Amish, and that monster from M Night Shyamalanananan's "The Village" is real.

I wish that we could like posts on the forum from our phones.

Granted, but all you get to see are posts from this thread that somehow manage to get even more redundant.

I wish Suits didn't grant my previous wish in such a predictable way. I expected more out of a varsity letterman.

Post: #157

(08-30-2015 09:53 AM)Fisto Wrote:  I wish Suits didn't grant my previous wish in such a predictable way. I expected more out of a varsity letterman.

Granted, but you have a small useless dick.

I wish I was a special snowflake.

Post: #158

Wish granted, but everyone is a special snowflake just like you.

I wish I was a ninja

Post: #159

(08-30-2015 10:52 AM)Fortis Wrote:  Wish granted, but everyone is a special snowflake just like you.

I wish I was a ninja

Granted, but you're also a turtle.

Wait that sounds awesome. I wish I was a ninja turtle too.

Post: #160

(08-30-2015 10:24 AM)Horus Wrote:  

(08-30-2015 09:53 AM)Fisto Wrote:  I wish Suits didn't grant my previous wish in such a predictable way. I expected more out of a varsity letterman.

Granted, but you have a small useless dick.

I wish I was a special snowflake.

Granted, and you are still just as unoriginal.

Post: #161

(08-30-2015 11:06 AM)RIslander Wrote:  

(08-30-2015 10:52 AM)Fortis Wrote:  Wish granted, but everyone is a special snowflake just like you.

I wish I was a ninja

Granted, but you're also a turtle.

Wait that sounds awesome. I wish I was a ninja turtle too.

Wish granted, you are ninja turtle. But turtles don't have dicks. Looks like you won't be banging April O'Neil.



Looks like she always had her set of beta orbiters.

I wish super powers to be real.

Post: #162

(08-30-2015 05:41 PM)PolymathGuru Wrote:  

(08-30-2015 11:06 AM)RIslander Wrote:  

(08-30-2015 10:52 AM)Fortis Wrote:  Wish granted, but everyone is a special snowflake just like you.

I wish I was a ninja

Granted, but you're also a turtle.

Wait that sounds awesome. I wish I was a ninja turtle too.

Wish granted, you are ninja turtle. But turtles don't have dicks. Looks like you won't be banging April O'Neil.



Looks like she always had her set of beta orbiters.

I wish super powers to be real.

Wish granted. Superpowers are real but your super power is you attract land whales with stronger super powers than you to rape you.

I wish I was Casey Jones so I could fuck April O'Neil instead of being an orbiter.

Post: #163

(08-30-2015 05:41 PM)PolymathGuru Wrote:  

(08-30-2015 11:06 AM)RIslander Wrote:  

(08-30-2015 10:52 AM)Fortis Wrote:  Wish granted, but everyone is a special snowflake just like you.

I wish I was a ninja

Granted, but you're also a turtle.

Wait that sounds awesome. I wish I was a ninja turtle too.

Wish granted, you are ninja turtle. But turtles don't have dicks. Looks like you won't be banging April O'Neil.



Looks like she always had her set of beta orbiters.

I wish super powers to be real.

Granted, but the super powers can only be used to whiteknight like a beta.

I wish I had a small useless penis.

Post: #164

(08-30-2015 06:07 PM)Suits Wrote:  Granted, but the super powers can only be used to whiteknight like a beta.

I wish I had a small useless penis.

Granted. They make you pay double for a custom super small fleshlight.

I wish I were a falconer.

Post: #165

^^ Wish granted. But all the falcons in the whole world follow you around and try to sit on your arms.

I wish I owned a magazine like Playboy or Hustler magazine.

Post: #166

(08-31-2015 11:58 AM)Pride male Wrote:  I wish I owned a magazine like Playboy or Hustler magazine.

Wish granted. You own the March 2005 edition of playboy, featuring Paris Hilton as the cover model.

I wish I had 100% control over my emotions and could make myself extremely happy or focused with a snap of my fingers.

Post: #167

(08-31-2015 12:15 PM)bacan Wrote:  

(08-31-2015 11:58 AM)Pride male Wrote:  I wish I owned a magazine like Playboy or Hustler magazine.

Wish granted. You own the March 2005 edition of playboy, featuring Paris Hilton as the cover model.

I wish I had 100% control over my emotions and could make myself extremely happy or focused with a snap of my fingers.

All bullshit aside this one is possible.

Post: #168

(08-31-2015 12:15 PM)bacan Wrote:  I wish I had 100% control over my emotions and could make myself extremely happy or focused with a snap of my fingers.

Wish granted, but anyone can snap their fingers and change your mood.

I wish for 100% anti-drop dead protection.

Post: #169

Yeah, how do you think it's possible? Today something is really upsetting me and I can't shake it off and focus on work.

Post: #170

(08-31-2015 03:44 PM)RIslander Wrote:  

(08-31-2015 12:15 PM)bacan Wrote:  I wish I had 100% control over my emotions and could make myself extremely happy or focused with a snap of my fingers.

Wish granted, but anyone can snap their fingers and change your mood.

I wish for 100% anti-drop dead protection.

Granted. But you can't ever die and you live to see the year 2200, where all men are forcibly turned into trannies. Your new name will by Miley Guyrus and you'll learn to enjoy anal.

I wish I owned Colombia.

Post: #171

(08-31-2015 04:34 PM)Tex Wrote:  

(08-31-2015 03:44 PM)RIslander Wrote:  

(08-31-2015 12:15 PM)bacan Wrote:  I wish I had 100% control over my emotions and could make myself extremely happy or focused with a snap of my fingers.

Wish granted, but anyone can snap their fingers and change your mood.

I wish for 100% anti-drop dead protection.

Granted. But you can't ever die and you live to see the year 2200, where all men are forcibly turned into trannies. Your new name will by Miley Guyrus and you'll learn to enjoy anal.

I wish I owned Colombia.

Wish granted but all you own is this street sign with Colombia on it.


I wish I knew the winners of all sporting events so I could gamble on them all becoming extremely rich.

Post: #172

(08-31-2015 04:41 PM)realologist Wrote:  Wish granted but all you own is this street sign with Colombia on it.


I wish I knew the winners of all sporting events so I could gamble on them all becoming extremely rich.

Wish granted. Everyone assumes the game was rigged and broke your legs and stole your extreme riches.

I wish for bi-pedal tank.

Post: #173

(08-31-2015 05:09 PM)PolymathGuru Wrote:  

(08-31-2015 04:41 PM)realologist Wrote:  Wish granted but all you own is this street sign with Colombia on it.


I wish I knew the winners of all sporting events so I could gamble on them all becoming extremely rich.

Wish granted. Everyone assumes the game was rigged and broke your legs and stole your extreme riches.

I wish for bi-pedal tank.

Wish granted, you are visited by a Samoan named Tank and get pounded into submission.

I wish I could get people drunk by pointing at them.

Post: #174

(08-31-2015 05:46 PM)NorthxNorthwest Wrote:  

(08-31-2015 05:09 PM)PolymathGuru Wrote:  

(08-31-2015 04:41 PM)realologist Wrote:  Wish granted but all you own is this street sign with Colombia on it.


I wish I knew the winners of all sporting events so I could gamble on them all becoming extremely rich.

Wish granted. Everyone assumes the game was rigged and broke your legs and stole your extreme riches.

I wish for bi-pedal tank.

Wish granted, you are visited by a Samoan named Tank and get pounded into submission.

I wish I could get people drunk by pointing at them.

Wish granted. Only then do you notice that with one finger pointed at someone you have the three other fingers pointed back at you. You get drunk at 3X the rate now.

I wish that anytime a SWPL girl said "I can't even" a Starbucks would go out of business.

Post: #175

(08-31-2015 06:05 PM)joseywales Wrote:  I wish that anytime a SWPL girl said "I can't even" a Starbucks would go out of business.

Wish granted. But, for every Starbucks that goes out of business, two of these open.



I wish I could unsee this.